Disclaimer: Blah blah blah I don't own anything.

So Far: There is some kind of protest planned, and Lily has advised James to confront Sirius about the tension between them. Also, Dorcas has feelings for Marlene and James and Marlene have sort of broken up.

Chapter 22

Or

Of Changing the Tide and First Priorities

(Part 1: Insert Prejudice Here)

People fight. Things fall apart. And even though things can come together all too easily, they can come apart just as quickly.

Sometimes, you need to let it all out or you'll explode. Sometimes, if you don't tell someone exactly how you feel, what you feel will burn a hole through you and leave you empty, and wanting, and with nothing but coal and ashes.

Some things are more important. Some things take precedence. But eventually, all of it will be acknowledged and let out, no matter what comes first or last. The truth seeks the light of day, and is not satisfied by anything less.

"There is evil in this world," said a man, reading from a pamphlet. He was dressed in a dark purple gown with deep pockets, and it seemed to be at least one size too big, because he had to push the sleeves back in order to hold the piece of parchment. His beard was a moderate length, for a wizard, and short, if you compared it to Albus Dumbledore's beard. (His beard was a magnificent beard, rivaled by few.) "There is evil in this world and it needs to be sent back to where it came from. The first stage must come from within us. We cannot let this prejudice take over! We cannot let what is currently being called the Werewolf Registration Act pass! And so, on Saturday, two days before this year's Easter, we shall gather to protest at – well," said the man, interrupting his own narration. "Here."

The audience laughed. All in all, there were probably about three hundred of them, which was more than some of them expected, and far less than they had hoped. More would join them as they marched through Diagon Alley, most likely; that's how this - type of thing – went. People were always late to this – type of thing.

The official plan ended in the marching; the unofficial plan included mass Apparition to the Ministry itself afterward. This plan was spread from mouth to ear; though everyone knew about it, nobody spoke of it aloud. Some people weren't even sure it was properly legal. Most of them, really. Almost all of them.

Lily was making her way through the crowd, searching for her friends. Even thirty people could be a lot in a place as small as this, a back room in the Leaky Cauldron she had never known existed before; three hundred was just excessive. To find anyone in this mess was virtually impossible.

Which is why she bumped into Sirius Black three seconds later. He somehow constantly managed to beat the odds. "Hey!" she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hey!"

"Where is everyone?" she asked, looking to his left, to see if James or Peter were behind him.

"Well, Peter isn't here yet, and James is in charge of bringing Remus, so," Sirius shrugged. "They'll all probably be a while. I did see Alice a while back, but she disappeared on me. What about you?"

"Me? I'm here!" exclaimed Lily. "Can't you tell?"

Sirius snorted. "Seriously, though," he added. "Where are Mary? Marlene? Benjy?"

"Ben can't make it, actually," Lily said. "His parents locked him in the house, pretty much. He said he'd try and come around when we're at the ministry. And I have no idea where anyone else is."

They stood and stared at the crowd around them for a while.

"That was a good speech, that guy made," Lily said suddenly.

"Yeah, that's actually a funny story, how he got chosen," said Sirius. "You see, we had a problem finding someone who would willingly be the face of the – "

"Not telling the same old story again, are you?" grumbled Peter. "I've heard that story half a dozen times."

"Yes, well, Evans hasn't, you nitwit," Sirius said. He punched Peter lightly in that way boys do, and added, "Any news?"

"No, not really. I hope James and Sirius show up soon, because I heard from that chick from Chelsea that we're about to start." Peter took out a pumpkin pasty and chewed nervously. "I still can't believe we're doing this."

"Hey, we'll be okay, don't you worry," said Sirius, flashing a winning smile at him. "We're not doing anything wrong."

"But we are doing something illegal," Peter pointed. Sirius waved him off. "So totally not the same thing. James! You got here! Wait, where's Remus?"

"Puking in the bathroom," said James. "Considering the time it took me to get him to come, I can't believe he's wasting even more of it by emptying the contents of his stomach. It's okay, we'll just replenish them later." Peter piped up at the mention of food, but was interrupted by Sirius asking, "Where did Evans go?"

Lily had decided that looking for Mary was the best idea for her right now, and had disappeared into the crowd a few moment ago. Surprisingly, she managed to find her friend extremely quickly – she was right at the center of the crowd, handing out fliers. Her face was flushed with the heat and excitement, and she was babbling to someone Lily didn't recognize. Her gaze wandered, locked onto Lily, and lit up even more as she waved her over. "Hi!" she yelled, animated and really loud. "You finally made it!"

Lily pushed her way past a couple of witches, not particularly interested in shouting over the bustling crowd. She hugged Mary and saw the person she had been talking to melting into the crowd. "I've been here for a while, actually," she said loudly. "I just – "

But the crowd had grown to loud. The man who had been reading from the pamphlet was now speaking into several wands and saying, "Let us march!"

Lily's memory of the next few hours would be vague. When pressed, she would spit out things like:

Marching.

Glimpses of friends, and non-friends, and other people with whom she had volatile relationships.

Hugging and laughing.

Screaming.

Becoming one with the crowd.

Marching, not for her, not for Remus, but for everyone.

James' memory of the next few hours would be sharp, clear as day. He will remember every moment, felt animated. His three best mates by his side - Remus slightly disgruntled, but eventually, they all knew, he would understand, and be far too grateful. He will remember seeing Marlene and Dorcas and not knowing what to do or how to act. He will remember seeing Lily out of the corner of his eye and refusing to watch her because today, of all days, was not about her.

Mary's memory of the next few hours would be defining. She will think back to this moment later in life and realize she would have never made a single decision the same way had she not gone to this protest. She would realize, someday, just how important this day was to finding herself.

Remus' memory of the next few hours would be covered with a mix of guilt and gratefulness and pain. He knew it wasn't just for him, but right now, people were marching for people like him, and nobody knew exactly what was legal and what wasn't and he felt so happy, like he belonged. Like this was where he was meant to be right now, with his mates and with this crowd that cared.

Sirius' memory of the next few hours would consist, similarly to Lily, of flashes. Of slogans. Of faces. But the clearest memory he would retain would be of the following exchange, at a moment when Remus was feeling more guilty than grateful.

"But aren't you all risking so much for me? This entire endeavor could get all of you thrown in jail!"

To which James responded, glee in his voice: "C'mon, Remus – what's life without a little risk?"

On the doorstep of the Potter home there was a letter. It wasn't addressed to any of the Potters, as would be expected of a letter left on the Potter home's doorstep. It was big, and yellowing, and in curved, bold letters on the back of it was written Sirius Black's name.

(Part 2: Fire in the Home)

For no reason whatsoever, almost nobody Apparated to the ministry afterwards.

Perhaps it was because everyone was tired. Perhaps people were afraid.

Most likely it didn't happen simply because it didn't seem to be happening, and people started going home, and then people noticed that people were going home and then it was pretty obvious that things were falling apart and that there was almost no one left to organize a mass Apparition anyway. So it didn't happen.

And so, after a long, tired day, everybody went home.

Marlene

Marlene went home with Dorcas. Not in the sense that she went to Dorcas' home, but in the sense that Dorcas accompanied Marlene to her home. They sat in the kitchen for a couple of hours and talked over food and pumpkin juice, and then they moved to her bedroom where they talked about books and music. They did not touch, even as they sat down on the same bed.

Not for the first time, there was tension between the two girls. They each held their own and refrained from mentioning it. Dorcas was not as good as shying away from it as Marlene was. Marlene began talking about James.

Two more hours passed. Marlene's parents came home at a certain point, but Dorcas was from a good family, and they did not mind her presence. The door to the bedroom was closed. The conversation continued. The girls still did not touch, even when they briefly talked about hair products.

When it was getting truly late, and Dorcas glanced at the clock nervously and said that she had to go home, Marlene hugged her goodbye. Dorcas hugged her back. They broke away and stared at each other for a moment.

At first, all Marlene could think about is that Dorcas smelled wonderful. And then, all she could think about was her lips.

And then they were kissing. Sparks were flying and everything was too hot and she wanted Dorcas closer, closer, as close as possible.

But when it ended, and the air was suddenly cold, she turned away. She didn't see the hurt in Dorcas' eyes. She didn't need to see it to know that it was there. When she looked back, Dorcas was already gone, and Marlene couldn't help thinking it might have been for the best.

Remus

Remus went along with the rest of the Marauders to James' house. On the doorstep, they found a letter addressed to Sirius Black.

For the first time, Remus saw Sirius Black cry.

The contents of the letter, as it turns out, were a will. Sirius Black had been left a house and a small fortune by his uncle Alphard, who died, rather unexpectedly, the night before. It occurred to Remus that Sirius might have been feeling incredibly alone in the world.

They ate a lot of cake that night. They drank. They cast silly spells and angry spells and slurred everything they tried to say from a certain point in the evening. Peter fell asleep on a couch, and in order to continue their debauchery they moved to one of the spare bedrooms. James started singing, and very suddenly, Sirius told him to shut up.

"Stop it," he said.

"Why the fuck should I?" said James.

"Just – just stop it," Sirius said.

They stared at each other and suddenly Remus knew exactly what was coming. They had been building up to this for months and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He would stay – not to watch, but to make sure. To make sure that his best friends wouldn't do something they might regret in the morning.

"What is this about?" asked James. "Why are you always trying to get on my nerves?"

"Why are you always trying to get on mine?" asked Sirius.

And then they were punching each other, and yelling out stupid things like, "You and Lily cannot happen!" or "Why are you messing with her feelings like that?". Remus roared at them to stop, and for some reason, the two of them stopped and stared again.

"Me and Lily?" Sirius said, looking shocked.

"Messing with her – I'm not messing with anyone!" cried James at the same time.

Then Sirius started laughing. "All this time – " he snickered. "You thought that I was trying to get with your bird? Prongs, have you gone completely mad?"

"My bird – listen, I don't know where you've been living for the past few months, but me and Lily are done. We never were in the first place. Merlin's beard, I've been with Marlene."

"No you haven't."

"Yes, I have," said James. "I've barely talked to Evans since the – since the beginning of the winter. You're the one who's spent all this time with her, been – I don't know, hugging her, snuggling with her in the common room! Merlin knows how many times I've been asked if the two of you are dating! And this argument between the two of you sure looks like a sort of lover's spat!"

"Listen, Prongs, you nitwit," said Sirius. "Lily and I are just friends. The two of us have never thought of each other as anything other than friends. You and Lily, however, have never thought of each other as just friends. And you're hurting Marlene in the process. You're being mean, and cruel. You're playing with her, and it isn't fair to her."

"Shut up," said James. His voice was quiet, but thundering. "Shut up and get out."

"James!" cried Remus.

"No, Remus," said James. "He has his own place now. If he doesn't like what I do, maybe he should just leave."

(Part 3: The Little Friendship That Could)

The thing about Sirius Black that no one seemed to get is that nobody had ever hit him. Except for the night he finally left, his parents never laid a hand on him, never pushed him or punched him or burned him or hurt him, physically, in any way, shape, or form. They – that is, anybody who knows – all assume that he was beaten, and fairly regularly. And every time he is forced to explain, once again, that he has never been hit, not once, not ever, and that it doesn't matter one bit.

There are two kinds of reactions to this explanation. The more common one is disbelief, followed by dismissiveness. "You must have been reading the situation wrong", or, "you're in denial", or, "well, then why did you leave in the first place?" Sometimes someone truly stupid will spit out all three, and Sirius would know that this person will never know anything about him.

The other reaction, however, was worse. Understanding, pity – he couldn't stand it. It was a constant reminder that he had a terrible home life, that he was abused, that his parents hated him and didn't want him – not the him that he was, at least. But most of all, he couldn't stand this reaction because it felt like they were oversimplifying it. Like there had never been good days. Like he couldn't remember loving his brother, or father, or even his mother. Like he couldn't imagine it being different.

He had never encountered someone who really understood. No one had – except for James. Because James and Sirius understood each other in perfect clarity. It had never been anything different. He had never had to explain it to him at all. This is why they could make each other so happy so easily. This is why they could hurt each other so thoroughly well.

The odd thing was, lately he realized that Lily understood, as well.

Lily and him weren't anything like James and him. They understood each other not because they were made from the same stuff, but because they were molded by the same experiences. Because they laughed from the same jokes. And Lily understood Sirius' pain not because she understood him at the deepest level possible, but because she had endured the same exact pain.

So after he had packed, taken his letter and his shoes and stole a bottle of Firewhiskey, he found himself Apparating not to his new residence, but to a place a block away from the Evans household.

It was late. He was drunk, even if he was sobering up from the cold night air as he walked. But he wouldn't have had it any other way. When she ran out and hugged him and dragged him inside, without even asking for an explanation until the following morning, he wouldn't have had it any other way. When she gave him water, and her bed, and told her parents that a friend of hers would be staying the night, when she defended him from her sister and he heard both of them clear as a bell through the door, he wouldn't have had it any other way.

There was no other place in the world he wanted to be right now than in the residence of the only other person he knew who had broken James Potter's heart.

(Part 4: Every Moment Counts)

It wasn't very long after Sirius disappeared that Remus took Peter home. This wasn't a night to stay at the Potter household.

About an hour later there was a knock on the door, and on the other side of that door was Marlene. She didn't have to explain. It wasn't stormy, or raining, nor was she crying or aching for him. It wasn't a reunion you would watch in the movies or hear stories about.

But, standing at the door, shaking from the cold, suddenly all James wanted to do was to kiss her.

And so they kissed, and they kissed for a long time, and Marlene was all over him, and they were in the bedroom, and maybe it was best that Sirius wasn't there after all.

People fight. Things fall apart. And even though things can come together all too easily, they can come apart just as quickly.

Sometimes, when life give you lemons you decide to throw them back at life and watch as the juice stings life's eyes and makes them cry. This doesn't make you a bad person. This just means you're sick of life's shit.

And after all of this hate and anger, maybe you can choose to pick up the lemon peels and make a pie.

A/N: It's a New Year's miracle! I published another chapter less than two fucking weeks after the last one. To be fair, I've been feeling a lot of shippy feelings lately. Also, I've been neglecting my thesis. Oh well.

It is, in fact, Jewish New Years' today. Happy New Year 5776! It's a little sad that it's no longer a palindrome, but year 5775 was pretty much awful to me. Here's to a better future and more frequent updates. Seriously, it's like I've become an update machine. It's not even after midnight. I finished almost an entire chapter just today.

Good news you guys, we've finished our second arc! There are still a few loose ends to tie up - and they all get tied up very neatly, in my opinion, in the double chapters of 24/25 - but we've basically finished with the rather tedious Sirius-Lily-James-Marlene-Dorcas love whatever, and we can move on to some hopefully both more interesting and more serious things.

More SIRIUS things. Geddit?

Shana Tova, ya'all. I hope this year looks as good to you as it looks to me.

JustGail

P.S. Don't forget to follow, share, and review!

P.S.S. I have started publishing this on the other website. This, mostly due to peer pressure. This is the link: /works/4781861/chapters/10939286 . You're welcome to use it if you like it better, though I have to say, I prefer the format much better. I'll be updating both of them simultaneously, so there's no fear of being left behind if you prefer, for some god-forsaken reason, AO3. God, have mercy on my soul. I feel like I've sold my soul to the devil.

Happy new year guys.