Disclaimer: I own nothing.

So Far: Dorcas is still dating Cam. Also, she and Marlene had a thing which exploded at the end of last year. Lily and James are, respectively, Head Girl and Boy. Once she and Mary stopped being friends, Tally became sort of aloof and sickly.

Chapter 28

Or

Of Being Back

Dorcas Meadowes was not naturally a liar. Well, that's not exactly true; she could lie quite easily. Dorcas was a naturally born liar. The problem was that she hated doing it. She was always what she called truthful and other people called blunt, and up until some months ago, she'd been quite obnoxious about it.

But when she started dating Cam, she realized that if she still prided herself in always telling the truth, she'd have become a hypocrite. And so she stopped mentioning it. For a while.

But she'd done quite a lot of thinking over the summer, and she'd made her decision: no more lying. It was time. It was beyond time.

And on the first of September, 1977, Dorcas Meadowes went through the secret entrance to Platform Nine and Three Quarters, made a beeline towards Cameron McKinnon, and broke up with him.

"I'm breaking up with you," she said, in a manner even she realized was rather blunt, and so she added the following to soften it: "I'm sorry."

Without blinking, Cam asked, "Why?"

And Dorcas thought about it for about two seconds before saying: "Because I'm a lesbian."

This made Cameron blink. He pulled back, looking semi disgusted. Dorcas rolled her eyes, and, without even saying goodbye, took her stuff and climbed onto the train, where she made her way to the compartment Lily and Mary and Marlene and she had agreed to meet at. They were all already there, even though it was only 10:50.

"I have something to tell you," she told them when she entered the compartment. She shoved her trunk into its place as she said, "I broke up with Cam."

When she turned back around, Lily and Mary looked shocked. Marlene looked… thoughtful.

"When?" asked Mary.

"Just before I got on the train."

"Why?" asked Lily.

"Because I'm a lesbian," answered Dorcas. She looked at her wristwatch; it was 10:52. "I imagine by the time the train leaves the station, everybody will know. Cameron didn't look particularly happy with the revelation he'd been dating a horrible, monstrous lesbian." She looked up, expecting to see the same disgust she'd seen in Cam's expression mirrored by these three, surprised when she didn't see it. "And I know, this is hardly the right time to come out or whatever because of all the tension, but – "

"We get it," said Marlene. "Don't worry, we're fine with it."

But she was the only one not looking at Dorcas.

Lily was sort of conflicted when only five minutes after Dorcas' confession, she was forced to leave and go to the prefects' compartment. She knew Dorcas would be okay, it was just that she wanted to make it better.

It took her no time at all to reach the compartment, but by the time she got there, the Hogwarts' Express had already left the station, and it seemed that Dorcas' prediction was accurate; no less than four separate students had already asked her "Is it true that Dorcas Meadowes is queer? Fuckin' hell, I never would have guessed. She seemed so normal to me!"

To which Lily had said only that she was late to the prefect's meeting, and hurried off.

She was only a couple of minutes late; only about half the prefects, most of them fifth years, had shown up. James had been early as well, somewhat to her surprise; perhaps she should have known - he had a lot to prove, after all.

By 11:10, however, everybody had shown up; Lily opened the meeting, and James and her alternated taking the lead from there. James, though a natural leader, was inexperienced, and had obviously been walked through this, probably by Remus; he did well enough. Lily herself was a bit nervous, having never led a prefect meeting before, but James was great when she faltered, taking up the mantel as easy as breathing, or simply asking the right leading question.

Lily tried very hard not to notice Snape seething every time he did.

"Finally, regarding our uneven number for patrols this year," Lily said, "we have always alternated our pairings weekly, and it will simply be that the scheduling will be slightly more complex than before. Don't worry about it, really, James and I will come up with a schedule by tonight. Anything else?" She looked at James.

He shook his head. "I guess we're finished here, then. It was – "

What it was, however, we will never know, because the fifth year Ravenclaw prefect – was it Helen something? Lily couldn't remember – shouted: "Is it true that Dorcas Meadowes is gay?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business," said Lily. "The meeting's officially over. You can all return to your compartments."

"Yeah, you're all dismissed, or whatever," said James. "Shoo."

Remus rolled his eyes at that. There was a shuffling of feet and the carrying of voices, and everybody was gone. Lily and James stayed behind, to talk over some more Head Boy and Girl business, and when they were done, they found Remus waiting outside with the rude Ravenclaw.

"Peterson here has something to say to you," Remus explained.

"I'm-sorry-for-asking-such-an-inappropriate-question-it-wasn't-any-of-my-business-my-curiosity-got-the-better-of-me-it-was-rude-and-I'm-sorry," she said. Before Lily could even react, say that this wasn't necessary, something like that, the girl was already done speaking.

"Um, it's alright," Lily said, feeling slightly uncertain. The girl – Helen Peterson. Right? – looked at Remus, who nodded, and she scurried off.

"You really didn't have to do that," said Lily.

"Yes, I really did," said Remus.

"Well then," she said, hugging him quickly. "Thank you."

"C'mon," said James, "We'll walk you to your compartment."

"Well, that was weird," said Lily as she slipped into the girls' compartment sometime later.

"What was weird?" asked Mary, looking up from her gobstone game with Marlene.

"I just bumped into Tally," Lily answered. "And, well, she looked healthy. Like – fine. She was even a bit tan. And she was chipper."

"Why do we care, again?" asked Mary.

Lily shrugged, crouching on the floor next to Marlene. "I guess it was just curious. Who's winning?"

"I am," said Marlene.

"Only by a bit!"

"Are they saying anything?" asked Dorcas suddenly. It wasn't like Dorcas to care what people thought of her. Did she care? Why did she ask if she didn't?

Lily locked her gaze onto the gobstone game. "I tried not to listen."

Later that night, the Hogwarts Express arrived at Hogsmeade. The first years were gathered by Hagrid and taken by boats to the castle, where they would later be sorted into the different houses.

Dorcas secretly wished she could join them, because the horseless carriages were surrounded with people, all of whom knew now that she was decidedly not heterosexual. And she just knew that they were all talking about her, and she just knew that she wasn't being painted in a positive light.

And this was the seventies. You'd think people would be more progressive, she thought to herself bitterly. But people have always been and will always be complete and utter horse shit.

So what if she was a lesbian. So what if she'd basically used Cam. She finished it. She didn't feel guilty.

No, she thought. I don't feel guilty at all.

And the fact that she could feel Marlene's warmth seep through the fabric, their arms touching in the carriage, had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Being back at school meant several things, but by far the worst of the lot was answering the dreaded 'How was your summer vacation?' question several times an hour. This, mostly because Lily didn't really know how to answer it. Should she mention the several murders of Muggleborns she heard about over the summer? And which was worse, the engagement party or the end-of-summer party? Does she mention how little clue she had about one of her best friends being gay? Do they want to hear about her feelings and how muddled up they've been?

Point is, nobody who ever asks 'How was your summer vacation?' ever really wants to hear the truth. They want to hear that the sun was shining and be done with it. So instead of screaming 'I'M TERRIFIED' at any and all passersby, she smiles politely and says: "Very good, what about you?"

By the time dinner was done, Lily was exhausted. Mindlessly, she climbed the stairs, mostly not concentrating on where she was going. It was only when she reached the Fat Lady's portrait that she stopped to think for the first time since arriving at Hogwarts, and honestly, she was stumped. Despite the fact that she had been the one to pass the password around, she couldn't for the life of her remember it at the moment.

"Lily? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Remus, I'm uh – I'm fine. I'm just a little tired is all. D'you mind?"

Remus, who was walking towards her slowly, for once alone, seemed to realize that she was asking for the password. He opted not to say anything about it, obviously, because instead of a tease, the next thing that he said was: "Peppermint Plum."

The Lady swung open, and Remus and Lily climbed through one after the other. "What a stupid password," Lily said once they were through. "Seriously."

Remus didn't reply, instead looking around, slightly nervously.

"Speaking of," Lily said, "are you okay? You look almost sick!"

"I haven't seen Sirius since the train, and he left a book with me," Remus said, but Lily suspected quite strongly it was a lie. She didn't push it.

"Oh, well, you can just put it on his bed, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, then," Lily said, stretching. "All's well that ends well. I am going to bed."

"Oh, right, you have private rooms now, don't you?"

Lily smiled. "Yes. Yes I do."

So maybe it wasn't that bad being back after all. That is, she thought as she climbed up to her private room, at least she could lock everyone out.

Private dormitories. If there was one incentive for being Head Boy, it was definitely this. Privacy. Quiet. Privacy. For an entire year.

James was on cloud nine. The Head Boy's quarters were a time-honored tradition, even if James had never seen very much evidence as to why they exist, and, at least in Gryffindor, appeared at the top of the stairs for each dormitory, depending on the sex of the Head in the house. This year, with the Heads both being Gryffindors, two floors were appeared out of seemingly nowhere in Gryffindor tower.

So yeah, James would miss the rest of the Marauders. But the things they could do with a private room! The things he could do with a private room!

No one could see him unless he wished them to. He could lock the door.

He kept thinking of all the possibilities: Sleeping without getting woken up in the morning. Keeping a stash of food that doesn't mysteriously empty himself. Lying naked on the bed after a shower without worrying about somebody walking in. Not having to worry about accidentally walking in on somebody naked.

And so yeah, James would miss staying up late discussing plans for full moons or pranks, but truth is, they could and can still do everything they did. James would just be able to sleep afterward.

It was sure damn nice being back.

It was the first of September and oddly enough, Alice Prewett wasn't on the Hogwarts Express. In fact, even though she was studying intensely, she had graduated school with top marks – almost all Os – just a few months ago.

But trying to achieve top marks wasn't precisely her priority at the moment, even if she did want to get in to the Auror program. In fact, she'd wanted to get into the Auror program since she was about three, yet right now, staring at yet another list of requirements for yet another test, she could not concentrate. At all. She'd stayed up late last night, and not for the reasons most eighteen-year-old girls fresh out of school stayed up late.

"Are you okay?" asked Frank. They were supposed to be studying together, but had lapsed into silence about an hour ago, realizing they were too tired to cooperate.

"Yeah," she replied, smiling reassuringly. "I'm fine. Just… really, really tired." She held out her hand, and Frank reached out to take it. She squeezed, hard, and then went back to work.

So. Much. Work.

A/N: Hope you enjoy this. After publishing a new long-term slow burn project I felt really guilty and worked really hard on finishing another chapter of this, and look, only two days later and I publish this. It's Valentine's, so I hope you're spending today with your loved ones, whether romantic, platonic or... otherwise?

Also, I turned 18 last Sunday. What?

Happy Valentine's,

JustGail