Chapter 4
Oblivion
By: tangerine kisses
Disclaimer: I don't own gakuen alice… don't sue…
It's so hard to say
How
a love could end this way
The
one that used to care for you
Just
turns and walks away
And
it's so hard to find
To
leave the pain behind
When
all the things you're looking for
Your
heart can't seem to find
Her body stilled, her breath hitched.
It was one of those times that uncertainty prodded onto her mind.
'Blank and disarming.'
His eyes gave the impression of calamity and inimitability. His presence was as cold and sumptuous as it had been.
She felt as if her surroundings had deteriorated to nothing, dreading any movement for as if time had stopped turning.
He stood upright, unmoving. His stance held the lone laziness it could've emitted by itself. His locks unruly. His crimson eyes bore hers, in a never ending gaze that seemed to find fleeting eternal moments.
While as she sat rigid, unnerving. Her widened pools unblinking, her mind unpresuming.
Their gaze locked desperately, clashing from the anxiety.
She knew what he had come for; she knew this anxiety just like the back of her hand.
She stood up so sudden that her view hastily swirled.
Her right hand clutched the end of the banister, as she tried to steady her breathing. Slowly she made way towards the door behind his back.
The only escape she could've reached.
Her steps became hurried and uncalled.
But just as her back turned on him, she felt her body being swerved around.
Her auburn eyes widened abruptly, she felt her own being slammed back onto the door she had planned to escape.
Wide and fearful arms blocked her right and her left. Her lips remained open to a certain gap, making it look like she was a gaping fish.
It was hard to imagine those arms that retained her, had been warmly enveloping.
It was hard to imagine her self then, surrendering to it.
But then a sudden collision made her faint a gasp.
He leaned his forehead unto hers, his once blazing pools closed. Her breath hitched and grasped, clutched and seized.
She felt the slow warm gushes, fill her lips.
Tickle her cheeks; she heard the percussion of his breathing intake, and the quaint thumping of his familiar heart.
The beats she normally would've counted and joined…
She felt herself give in to the warmth she had been searching, the little pursuits of happiness she had been seeking. Yet she found herself declining.
"Ya-yamete…" (Stop)
She felt her lids caving into the affection and kindliness he emitted.
"Why? Why deny what I give…?" his harsh voice stole a silent kiss.
Her mind screamed for relief and liberation, her world seemed to crumble. Her heart ached and throbbed.
The stings of his words debilitating within.
She cannot, yet she must…
'…because of me' (mikan)
"I don't need you" her cruel words etched his heart.
The grip he held above her shoulders almost crumpled to ash, still the unyielding stand he held in front of her never wavered.
"Yet you led yourself to senselessness without me." His word bit her back like ice; it stung and stabbed her remaining self.
'You destroy yourself… because of me…' (mikan)
"I despise you." The brutality left no room for mercy. Her voice faint like ice.
She almost felt him squeeze her life out, his desperation dispersing through out, the hurt and pain he felt deliberating-ly weakening her, and it waned her resolution, her chance to fight his desperate plea.
"Don't deny it." instead of its usual callousness, she heard his forbidding voice traced with solicit.
'I… I can't… I can't love you…' (mikan)
"Leave. I offer you my pity." Her self screamed and screeched. Yet she forced her self to deny him.
Still her heart pleaded and begged for his immediate warmth and affection.
Though she herself denied it to her own.
She felt it once, and again.
The common symptoms of devastation.
She felt her stomach churn and twist, the contempt and complicit. Her head hung low and defeated for her world crumbled to pieces, yet she knew of her consequences.
She knew what of her self had she given up, for she knew it'll be for his freedom, his happiness.
But in spite of her simple exploit, she had not felt relief or realization at all.
The tightly wounded fist stopped rigid beside her left cheek, the sudden collision knocked out the whole border she was leaning on.
For the first time since they had spoken, his crimson eyes bore hers down.
She saw the pain and hurt he had felt, it pierced her soul like knives repeatedly.
His eyes lay low, ablaze yet defeated, the yearning he felt still so fresh.
Abruptly, anger broke through pain, and fury erupted to rage.
"I don't need your pity." The unfeeling words he parted her, left her feeling nothing but oblivion.
She crumpled to the ground; her sobs left her feeling wretched and unending. Her auburn tresses flew stuck around her, her body almost cold and unfeeling.
One of her legs was tucked in below her, while the other sprawled away.
She looked like a lost child waiting for its savior. Nonetheless, her savior to return…never.
Her swollen lips quivered violently, her head hung down low. Her voice trembled and quavered, she felt as if she lost him.
The impact of those words just ushered her unreal realization.
'I did… I pushed him away… forever…"
Her breath hitched and tears came pouring glazed down as she recalled the scenes from yesterday night.
She sat by the deepest corner of the restaurant, her face filled with boredom. She had arrived 55 minutes ago, and yet her 'unknown' meeting partner was no where in sight.
She released a weary sigh.
She took hold of the chambers appearance, it was simply stunning.
The place had been located at the nearest pier, yet no fish stinks were present. The walls were decorated with red and green glitter, cleaned and miss half.
The ceilings were galaxy deep, yet retained its feel to be comforting to the soul. The lights were dimmed slightly, while as the candles were ablaze-d.
Her table was adorned with a practical white sheet, and shining tablewares. But disappointingly, the seat across from her was empty.
She furrowed her brows in frustration.
She had dressed up for this freakin' night, wonderingly worried that she might be late, and here she was the one waiting!
"Sakura-san, would you care for another glass?"
She looked up to see her serving waiter, Wei-san. He had been accompanying her for the last minutes.
She nodded a light yes.
"e, dozo…"
He poured her a glass of blood red wine, full almost to the rim.
She was at her 5th glass, a minute more and she would've had to stop her self from ordering a bottle of vodka.
She took a large sip, and slumped back onto the chair.
Her brown pools swirled from the dosage of alcohol yet she took no notice to it.
Her taunt lips were slightly pouted, red from the liquid she took in, her cheeks blushed pink. Her hair was then in a tight bun, now it had strands framing her heart shaped visage.
She wore a golden dress that complimented her eyes; it hung low on the neck line, yet fitted tight onto her waist and below. It reached the line contour of her ankles, while as her quaint feet were paired with mahogany stilettos.
She wore simple jewelry, a golden bangle and a pair of glittering ear hoops.
She took another huge gulp from her drink and called the nearest attendant.
"Excuse me, could I have a bottle of vodka please."
Her voice sounded bored yet ambled.
"Right away madam."
The server poured her a tall glass of white liquid.
She took 2 gulps, then 1, then another 2, followed by a deep breath.
A short sigh.
"Didn't know you were such drinker polka, I would've bought you to a bar."
The cool voice broke her thoughts and she whirled her head back round.
She met steel crimson pools, and she knew right away that Natsume Hyuuga had arrived.
'I should've known...!'
"Took you long enough. Did you lose your way or were you just plain dumb?" she bit back, her voice laced with a trace of annoyance.
He raised a single eyebrow and flashed her his trademark smirk.
"Actually, I've had trouble getting here. The press keep pestering me all day long." He drawled, he sat from across her, while as he took notice of her fuming face.
He wore a formal black suit, the slacks pleated neatly. Yet the front of his suit was open, and his blue necktie hung around loosely, he looked liked a god that fell from heaven.
His bangs lay unruly as it is, his face shaped practically.
"Done staring youjo?" his voiced drawled on once again, with a hint of mockery.
She blushed straight up her cheeks. Her pools wide open, she turned her head from him, to her right and gave out a huff.
"I've seen more than better." She flashed him a smirk that creepily reminded him of Imai.
He raised another curious brow.
"Have you?" he had this crazy look in his eyes that warned alert danger.
He leaned in for the kill.
His voice grew silent and mistuning.
"I see you haven't gotten laid yet."
Then flush that her cheeks had undergone turned beet red. Her ears reddened frightfully, and her eyes widened so sudden.
"Natsume HENTAI!!!!" she huffed and puffed, her breathing uneven. Her head turned to her left.
She snatched her drink and gulped lots. Her hands clutched the stem, as she placed it back with a bang.
She poured another rim full.
"Youjo, you've had enough" his voice came sternly.
His eyes locked onto her.
"I can handle liquor properly, thank you." She challenged
"I said, you've had enough"
"And I say I haven't"
"Don't test me youjo"
"I'll test you all I want" she replied curtly.
She refilled the glass, and proceeded to lift it to her lips, but firm hands forbid her to do so.
She was startled at first, yet acted as if she hadn't noticed.
She pulled back with force doubled, and lifted the glass back up.
But before she could drink it up, the firm grip that had been forcing it down suddenly went all out-off.
He released it
rapidly, that the force she appended had rebounded back to her. thus
caused the drink to spill casually on her.
She let out a strangled cry, the screeching of the chair from being pushed echoed.
Her head whirled angrily to him, her brown pools filled with rage.
Abruptly she stood up and hastily walked out of the restaurant.
"That baka natsume!! I'll kill him!" she checked her purse for her handkerchief, but suddenly realized she left it at home.
She brought out a ragged cry.
"Doshiete!? Kami-sama!" Her head fumed with frustration and incompetence. Her stride's slowly shortened.
She dragged her feet from the ground, and slowed down.
She felt sticky, and wet!!
This was all because of that pompous fool!
"I don't plan to follow you till you reach your house, so I suggest you stop now." His tone had the ring of boredom and monotony, yet it felt cool to her ears.
"Then don't, I can manage on my own!" she shouted without turning her back.
She felt his eyes narrow her down.
But she didn't care at the moment; her main concern was her newly bought dress, which had cost half her salary!
And he doesn't even compliment her!
'That good for nothing pervert!'
"oi youjo…" She swiftly turned back and faced him front,
"WHAT!?"
He neared her so quickly she didn't even notice, up until he had his hand on her neck, with a wet cloth.
She bit back a gasp, when the warm cloth touched her skin, gently removing the sticky substance.
His hands went all over her neck, and the back.
Just as she was enjoying his light touches, the cloth suddenly struck on her pink cheeks.
The sticky substance clinging on it, her pools widened saucer plates.
"Natsume Baka!!!"
And all she caught was a glimpse of his devilish smirk.
They sat by the
railings of he pier.
The waves crashing down them below, the moon shone its pale light shadowing the boats anchored by the shore. The sky was dark yet sparkles of light shone brightly on them.
From the horizon, 500 meters afar.
A tall lighthouse blinked callously. Directing lost men in the sea, providing light to those who where dimmed with darkness.
Her feet swung left and right. Earlier, she had taken her stilettos off and left them by the car. Her carefully tied hair fell down in a messy curling fashion, her sticky dress forgotten.
She hummed a slow tune, while as her tresses flew hurriedly with the gushing of the wind.
He sat by her, 5 meters apart. His shoes lay forgotten with hers, his broad shoulders without his coat.
He held a stance of tranquility, while as hers were in a silent chaos.
Their beings held onto perfect harmony, achieving to the highest point of oblivion.
Her voice floated with the sea breeze, it traveled to his ears, making him stare at her with sheer amusement.
Yet still, her face held passion and excitement.
Her eyes dancing to its own tune…
He looked at her with inquiry, as she stood up and held her hand to him.
"Natsume, dance with me…"
Unknowingly he had grabbed hold of her hand, her laughter made music to his ears.
He pulled her closer, and neared his body to hers.
"This is stupid." His voice trailed with silent amusement.
Her laughter ringed, and her eyes twinkled.
"I know"
They twirled with, silently, moving in coordinately.
Their moves held them, while as they held each other.
The waves crashed, and they stopped for breath. He moved his forehead inclining with hers, both their eyes closed.
Her hands went round his neck, while his made way for her waist.
Their breathing clashed portably.
"Natsume…-"
Her mind left words, and her lips left speech as his lips caught his in a searing kiss.
She felt herself melt with his touch, her soul hitched-hiked up and back to the moon.
Their beings clashed and their breaths dashed.
A smile graced her lips when theirs parted.
Yet uncertainty filled her heart, as tamayo akiyama had flashed in her mind.
She pushed him away, as her being crammed with regret.
Her pools brimming with unshed tears.
"This is wrong…" (chigau-yo)
She took hold of his stunned eyes, appalled and outraged.
Yet again she shook her head 'no'. She prepared to run from him, but his hands grabbed her wrist securely.
"Ikanaide" (don't go) her pools widened irresolutely.
Yet she pulled through, without hesitation.
She stopped by the end of the road, and suddenly felt the crystalline tears that she hadn't realized she had been shedding.
She knew, they both knew they were done and over with, left to be buried deep, deep within.
She knew, he knew what they had done had been wrong.
They were simply there to reconcile the merge, nothing more, yet they had violated themselves to each other again…
He was a husband to be, betrothed to the most celebrated star in Japan.
They were old acquaintances, remained to be separated forever.
She ran away from him once more, and now she was to make sure he'd never catch up again….
There'd was nothing between them any longer.
She had accomplished her quest.
Then why?
Why did she feel as if it wouldn't matter no longer if she had killed herself…
now and then…
I'm sooo sorry!!! Now I know how having 'writers block' is a bummer.
Kyahhhhhhhhhhh!!! It's soo annoying!!! I don't know how's this story gonna be!!!
, If you knew, I wri-wrote this freakin chapter for almost 5 times! --
Also I've been sick, that makes my free time half cut short! Kyaaaahhhh!!!
If any of my loyal readers…. well though I'm not exactly sure whether I do have them…. I wouldn't mind some comments or helpful reviews!!!!
I'm really really stumped!
Actually… I'm planning a new story… entitled "is this it?" which is, (uhmmm kinda-unfortunately ) a S x S series…
Sakura Kinomoto and Li Syaoran desu ne!!!
I'm a cardcaptor sakura addict too, ever since I was 10!!
Nyahahhahah….. but im never leaving gakuen alice!!!! I love natsume-kun too much,….. nyahahahah…..
Ja tangerine kisses