This is stupid. You're so mad you can't even think straight. Just keep driving, keep driving. The long expanse of road looks like it's never going to end, dotted by the occasional cactus or dead animal. The drive from Michigan to Nevada is less than thrilling, especially when you are doing it on your own. You sigh loudly, the smell of the cheap Nissan giving you a head ache.
Why couldn't Dean just have relaxed!? He couldn't just leave it alone?
The elder Winchester continued to be jealous of your relationship with the King of Hell. He flirted with you at all times of the day. Soft touches for no reason, standing too close. The compliments became persistent and incessant. One night he even got hammered and crawled into bed with you. And then he kissed you...
You shake your head, trying to push the memory from your mind. This was too complicated, feelings were complicated; this entire situation was fucked up. You liked Crowley...a lot, otherwise you wouldn't be going to Nevada to marry him. That's what people did when they were in love right? And yet that sinking feeling in your stomach refused to desist.
You turn up the music louder, hoping a little AC/DC will drown out your erratic thoughts. "Jesus Christ I need a drink" you mutter to yourself. Heat of the Moment comes on and you groan, hitting your head against the head rest. Dean's favorite song. Fucking perfect. You glare out the wind shield, suddenly angry at all the cacti as if it was their fault for your problems. You can't help but sing along causing memories of you and Dean to flood in.
You had lied to him that first night he hit on you, you viewed him as more than a friend, and you always have. There was something special about Dean. When you first joined the team about seven months ago, you had a massive crush on him. But you had always figured he was too good for you. He was sexy as all Hell, funny, and a truly good man. You got tired of waiting, and once you met Crowley, you were utterly twitter pated. He was dark and mysterious, sensual, and a bad boy. He helped you forget about Dean; you feel appreciated and desirable with the demon. You blush thinking about all the different ways he has taken you, dominated you, claimed you. But then your mind drifts back to that kiss with Dean. It was only two days ago, in fact it's the reason you were leaving. You told Crowley that Dean's incessant flirting was annoying and that you didn't know what to do. You were completely taken aback at his suggestion if marriage.
"Let's face it lovey" he had said "we are dynamite together. I've claimed you as mine so why not? Be my Queen of Hell." Wow Queen of Hell, that's kind of above your pay grade. You liked being with Crowley, he was so sexy, and what girl doesn't want to get married. But, an eternity was a long time, especially with someone who you should be hunting.
You immediately thought of Dean again and that kiss. The reason you were leaving. The REAL reason: you were running from your feelings. Feelings that you thought were gone, that had been lying dormant since Crowley claimed you. Tears start springing in your eyes as you remember the kiss from Dean. He crawled in your bed after staggering through the motel door. You felt the bed sink where his body rolled in next to you. You felt your skin heat up at the proximity if his muscular body. You turned to tell him to get out, but he was so close that his lips were ghosting over yours. He cupped your face, stroking your red cheek lovingly with his thumb. You should have said something, you should have stopped it. But instead he kissed you. And what you didn't tell Crowley, or anyone else; you kissed back. His lips crafted into yours carefully, a soft moan escaped his lips, and you moved your mouth in motion with his. Every nerve in your body was awakened, tingling over your skin. And yet you were utterly relaxed; it felt like you were home. He gently slipped in his tongue, and you let him. You then bit his lip softly, before freezing. You stood up abruptly, grabbed your keys and drove away quickly. You called Crowley, plans were made, and you've been driving to Nevada for the past two days.
The memories play through your head like a movie reel. Before you know it you arrive to the Las Vegas chapel; obviously a traditional church was kind of out if the question for this particular union. You see Crowley waiting outside the entrance, dressed in his black suit.
"Isn't it bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?" You call as you exit your car.
"Are you expecting anything to go wrong?" He questions, teasingly.
You give him a kiss, his heated lips capturing yours. Hot and steamy, full of passion, but what was missing?
You smile at him before biting your lip in contemplation.
"What's wrong my little hunter?"
"Do you love me?" He looks at you calmly, as if you asked him what day it is.
"I enjoy your company. I care for you deeply, I find myself very protective of you. Sexually you drive me mad, in the most inexplicably best way."
You smile at his words, but reiterate your question "but do you love me?"
"My sweet, love is a myth told to children to make them feel better about their wretched lives. Even if such a thing existed, I'm not sure I'd be able to feel or reciprocate it." Your face falls slightly, but you hide it well.
"Shall we" he prompts, and you follow him into the chapel. Surprisingly it's decorated rather nicely, flowers everywhere, with a man waiting to marry you at the end of the aisle. Crowley snaps his fingers and you are suddenly in a white dress, truly beautiful. "My dear, you are gorgeous." You smile back, half ecstatic half scared out of your mind. Was this really happening?
As you begin to walk down the aisle with him you can't help but ask, "Why do you want to marry me?"
"Because it makes you officially mine, and hopefully will keep others away." Crowley smirks. Shit. Is that what this was? Did Crowley just want someone to have, something to control and call his own. You know you mean a lot to him, probably more than anything ever has, but is it enough? You think and can't remember having an actual conversation with him that didn't end with your clothes off. Were you so eager to let him claim you because you were driven by pure lust? Were you that desperate to not be alone? You shake your head. Knowing that Crowley is good to you, and you go well together. But don't you deserve that one thing that the entire world starves for: true love? True love with someone who works beside you day and night. Someone who wants to cuddle you to be close, not because you earned it or to prove something. Someone who has been there for you from the beginning and was willing to fight for you.
Enough! You think to yourself. This is happening now. This is not a bad decision. And your life will be good. You arrive at the altar with Crowley, but before the man can start the ceremony, the doors fly open.
You become alarmed and turn to look, only to see Dean storming in. His green eyes filled with desperation. Crowley groans slightly, unamused at Dean's outburst. Dean stops just a foot from you, frozen to the ground. He looks to you, tears springing in his eyes, and you feel your heart involuntarily clench.
"Don't do this" he whispers. You stare at him, unable to think of anything to say, unable to hear your own thoughts over the pound of your beating heart.
"Now Dean-"Crowley starts, tired of Dean's interferences.
"Shut the hell up Crowley" Dean snaps. "Just let me say what I came here to say." Surprisingly Crowley says nothing and just gives a slight nod. Dean turns his attention towards you, "(Y/n), I know this is totally uncool. I never I thought I'd be that schmuck crashing a girl's wedding. Especially when she looks so happy, and so damn beautiful. But if I let you walk out of my life without fighting, I will never be able to live with myself. I care about you, more than I care about myself. I know you probably don't believe me, and I don't blame you. I don't act like it, but it's true. I don't like to explore feelings because that's how you get hurt. When you joined our team, I never thought I'd fall for you. But I didn't know that there could be anyone so amazing as you. You're so beautiful and intelligent. You are one of the best hunters I've ever met, and you have the biggest heart I've ever seen. I never bothered to pursue you because, why would you ever want me? I've fucked up so many times, and there are so many other options for a girl like you. But please know that no matter what you do, or who you end up with, I want you to be happy. I need for you to be happy, and I only hope that you could find happiness with me. Because no matter who you choose, I will never stop caring about you. I will love you till I die. (y/n), I love you." He lets out a long haggard breath, a few tears betraying him as they roll down his cheek, disappearing in his stubble.
You stare at him. No one has ever spoken to you that way. No one has ever loved you. You feel tears build up in your eyes, overcome by all that has happened. You look at Crowley who has become angry, but is holding it in. He locks his dark eyes with yours, before reaching for your hand. He kisses it softly, his soft lips gently rubbing your skin. You look in his eyes, searching, as if the answer could be found in his face.
"We had a good run" he whispers to you. "Never doubt that I have cared for you. And I care for your enough to realize that…I can't give you what you need. And I never will" He sounds a bit hurt, but also confident in his words. "Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next month, but someday; you are going to need more than I am willing or able to give. I have enjoyed my time with you my pet. But I think we both realize what needs to happen." He gives a small smile to you, "goodbye lovey." You smile at him. You care so much for him, but he is right. There was one person meant for you, and it wasn't the King of Hell.
"Good bye" you whisper, before he vanishes. You are left there alone on the altar staring at the floor in amazement of what just occurred. You turn your head to Dean who is standing at the bottom of the small steps, gazing at you. His eyes scared and hopeful, as if his entire future rides on you.
"I love you too" you whisper to him. He breaks out in a huge grin, giving the most carefree laugh you have ever heard from the hunter.
"Come here, baby." You run to him, jumping into his arms as he whirls you around. He kisses you deeply, his lips treasuring your touch. He puts his soul into the kiss, worshiping every part of your mouth. You break apart from the kiss, staring into his bright green eyes.
"You couldn't have made that any more dramatic, could you?" you tease in between giggles.
Dean just laughs, "only the best for you babe." He plants another kiss on you, squeezing your body to himself tightly as if you might vanish from within his arms. You laugh as you hug him, incandescently happy. Who knows what the future holds for you? There will be challenges, and pain. But there will also be love and happiness. One thing is for sure…you aren't facing it alone.