Disclaimer: I'm not Cassie Clare, as any of you have made it this far probably know by now.

Chapter 9: New Lies

Jonathan/Sebastian

I was walking home alone from practice. Clary had taken the car again. She had been doing that all week, taking the car early in the morning and after school as well. I couldn't bring myself to be mad though.

She had been depressed since I'd told her she couldn't talk to Jace, and then confirmed that she couldn't talk to her friends either that next day. She had only picked at dinner since then, and I'm pretty sure she didn't eat breakfast. She also hadn't shown up to lunch all week.

We had gotten off practice early today, so I was going to get home early. Our MVP, Jace Herondale, had pulled a stunt that had gotten us off early. I hated him, he had messed with Clary's heart, and now she was inconsolable.

I walked in the door and headed up the staircase quietly. I was gonna check on Clary. When I got to her room, the door was cracked open. I heard sobbing through that small crack. I pushed open the door and said, "Clary?"

She was bent over something. She didn't even look at me when she said, "Go away."

So, I turned, against my better judgement, and walked away. I shut myself in my room, vowing to myself to ask her about it later.

Clary

After Jon left, I looked up, tears streaming down my face. I had been crying since I shut my hand in a door an hour ago. I had had these tears pent up since Monday.

It had been torture to stay away from my friends. This week had been really hard, what with avoiding her friends and being afraid that Valentine would flip his shit again.

I was feeling so depressed, and then I looked across the room. That's when I saw it. A razor. I realized that I needed a shower and that I needed to shave my legs. So, I got up, grabbed the razor, and walked into my bathroom.

I got into the shower and started shaving. I was distracted and accidentally cut myself. It felt so good. It felt like my depression lifted a little when I did it. So, I did it again. And, again. And, again. When I finished showering, I put on pajama shorts and a tank top.

I went downstairs and found a knife. I needed a release, and it's not like I was cutting near my worst. No, I was cutting on my legs. Very shallow cuts, but cuts none the less.

I did it lightly and stopped after only a few cuts, but between these and my cuts from shaving, not to mention the bruises, my legs looked like a patchwork of pain.

Just then Jon/Seb came downstairs. I had just replaced the online, so he didn't see me holding it.

"Hey, Clary are you ready for dinner?" he asked.

"Sure," I mumbled.

"Hey Clary are you ok? You know you can talk to me about-" he cut off looking down at my legs. "Clary, what happened to your legs?"

"I cut myself while shaving. And, you know why I have those bruises," I said with a shrug.

"Ok, then. Let's eat," he replied.

Jace

Clary was hurt. I was convinced of it. She was limping again today, and she was always doing everything gingerly these days.

I had once heard, that what you drew, said what you were thinking. If that's true, then Clary is always thinking about pain, because all she draws are people who are in pain.

People with bruises, people stuck on the floor, and even once a girl getting beat up by a guy. At first, I didn't think anything of it, but as time went on I started to notice it more and more often.

I was going to find out why, even if it killed me. I didn't want her hurting, especially alone. It was killing me the at she was staying away from me. But, I would help her.

Simon

It had been a week and Clary hadn't talked to me once. I was worried about her. She never did this. Ever. Not even when we were fighting. Because, not only was she avoiding me, but she was also avoiding everyone else. If I tried to talk to her, she would turn away. If I left her a note asking her what was wrong, she would throw it away.

It felt hopeless. I knew there was something wrong, and there was nothing I could do. She pushed everyone away. The weird thing is that whenever she did it looked like it hurt her to do it. That's what was making me so persistent. Surely she would give up soon if we wore her down. At this point that was our only hope.

And, then there was this whole deal with Sebastian. She talked to him a lot. In fact, he was basically the only person she ever talked to anymore.

I realized that he was on the football team, and that Jace would probably know something about him. So I texted Jace.

What do you know about Sebastian?

A few minutes later he replied.

Not much. He's on the football team and is Clary's neighbor.

At this I gasped. No wonder she talks to him, he's her neighbor. But, at the same time at Homecoming he said they were dating. She had said they weren't dating, but I couldn't trust that anymore. For all I knew she had been lying when she told me that. Or, it could be a new thing.

Whatever the case, there was something going on with her and I would find out what it was. I swore it.