The damage is done

Marinette is struggling to maintain the facade of the happy,bubbly girl in class and the all powerful Ladybug. She feels utterly alone and is struggling to keep fighting, growing weary from akumas as well as the uphill battle that is life. Will any one notice her cry for help, or has the damage already been done?

Rated M for self harm and suicidal thoughts.

Hi! After a few days off of it being a whole year since I started this , I have decided to rewrite and hopefully continue it. Thank you to all the people who had previously followed my story as it means a lot! I am also posting this story on Archive of our own (under the same username and title). This was Previously titled "How dare you" but I feel that its a bit cringey and since I am re doing this that it needed to change. Hope you enjoy!

I do not have any rights to Miraculous.

Glittering, sparkling, glowing: Lights dotted the view before her as she swung through the Parisian streets with graceful elegance. Onlookers gasped with delight, took out their phones, and tried to take pictures of their idol, the person they aspire to be, just to feel like a part of her world. To try and feel what they imagine she feels. Ignorant to a world they are not a part of but desperately cling onto. She can understand the want, the need to be someone, anyone other than themselves. Someone actually important. A feeling that overpowers her every day.

The piercing night air rushed around her as she landed on the edge of a building that had become almost like a second home, and slowly crept up behind the dark figure of her victim that was perched on the edge of the roof, wind blowing through their hair. They still hadn't noticed her approach as they looked thoughtfully out to the horizon.
"Hey kitty, what'cha thinking about?"
Chat practically fell of the roof, but at the last moment was able to recover himself. His eyes were still diluted from the shook as he turned to look at her.
"Oh you know, just about how purr- fect you are m'lady"
But ladybug didn't have a snappy comeback, or brush his comment off, she didn't have the mental will power to think of anything. Not tonight. Chats once playful expression turned into one of worry and a hint of confusion. Ladybug just turned away. Hoping he wouldn't see that her eyes were puffy and red and her shoulders were slumped. She had never felt this vulnerable in front of Chat before. Sadly nothing was really going right for her today.
"M-M'lady….. What's wrong?"
"N-Nothing Chat I'm fine…"
"It doesn't seem like nothing."
Ladybug met his gaze but instantly regretted it. She didn't want to see the look of pity in his eyes. She gets enough of it from Alya at school. She nervously rung her right hand around her left wrist, causing it to sting a little bit. She sighed and tried to compose herself. She didn't want Chat to know. She didn't want him to be disappointed in her, she valued him too dearly for that to happen. She couldn't lose him now .
"Thank you."
His look of concern rapidly changed to one of complete confusion by the sudden change in the direction of the conversation.
"For what?"
"Everything."
Ladybug turned her gaze back to a confused Chat noir, eyes full of sincerity.
"You have never let me down. No matter what you have always put your life on the line for me, for Paris. But I know that, if you knew who was under the mask, it would be an entirely different story. I'm not the Ladybug everyone wants me to be without the mask on. My crush doesn't even know I exist, hell, no one does. Anyway. Thank you."
Anger. That was the only way to describe the emotion that Chat noir wore on his face. Ladybug started to get up, scared of what Chat might do. Had she done something wrong? As she did this Chat grabbed her right wrist and pulled her close to him.
"How dare you."
Chat whispered. A million different emotions flittering across his face.
"C-Chat….?"
"How dare you speak about yourself like that. You are the most amazing person in the whole of Paris. Don't you dare think anything like that about yourself ever again."
Ladybug sighed. The repetition of this getting boring as well damaging her more every day. It was tiring. She was tired.
"Yes…..Ladybug is idolised across all of Paris. But for the girl underneath, it is a different story."
And with that she hastily flung her Yo-yo in the direction of home and swung away into the night, before he even had time to contemplate what she had said. It wasn't the first time she had tears in her eyes as she zipped home.

Feeling drained, emotionally and physically, Ladybug de-transformed on her balcony back into Marinette and then proceeded to drop through the trapdoor, landing on her bed. Tikki floated down onto her pillow beside her.
"Marinette?"
She could feel Tikki's questioning gaze as she got off her bed and sat at her desk.
"What was that all about Marinette? Are you ok?"
Marinette stared at her covered wrist. Eyes still brimming with buried pain and sadness.
"Don't worry about it Tikki, I'm fine, really."
She wasn't fine. She hadn't been fine for a while but no one knew that. Not even Tikki. Marinette turned to look up at Tikki, using the same smile she plastered on her face when around others. Draining her more.
"I'm sorry Tikki, I'm just really tired after the tough akuma fight today. I guess I just got a bit emotional."
Tikki was still looking a bit sceptical and Marinette hoped to God that her fake smile looked genuine enough to fool even Tikki. And apparently, it was.
"Okay Marinette! Goodnight!"
"Goodnight!"