Author's Note: OH MY GOSH GUYS IM SO SORRY IT"S LIKE A WHOLE WEEK LATE! I feel awful that i made you wait! (I hope someone was) With the hurricane affecting my family we had trouble with flooding and I could never get on but I got on as soon as possible and so here I am! Hope you all enjoy Elfman's One-shot!

xXx

"Why are you always saying men this and men that! You're so annoying!" A pretty brunette yelled.

Evergreen had woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. The girls at Fairy Hills had had a girls night and kept pestering her about Elfman and their relationship. O course she yelled at all of them that they weren't even friends because that's what they were… right?

"Fighting with women is not manly!" Elfman shouted over her before heading to go find Natsu and start a real fight to look manly for you know who.

Evergreen huffed and stormed over to the bar where Mira was busy handing out mugs to all the older men in the guild that didn't care about getting drunk at 9 in the morning.

"Why is he always like this! He just has to say stuff about men all the time doesn't he! I'm so sick and tired of him!" The curvacious brunette yelled to no one in particular, but Mirajane took this as a sign to enter her self debate.

"Then why do you keep coming back to him?" The white-haired woman asked innocently. Evergreen looked at her in shock and started stuttering.

"Wh- but- I don't- W-what are you talking a-about!? I don't come back to him, it's h-him who always comes back to me!" Evergreen was debating on whether or not she should go back to Fairy Hills and take a nice long bath to calm herself down because she really needed it right about now.

"Oh, okay." Mirajane smiled innocently at her but they both knew it had an underlying message.

We both know I'm right so let's be done with this conversation, okay?

Evergreen quickly left the bar after that and went to find the rest of the Thunder Legion for safety precautions of her own safety.

"She's so dang annoying! Why can't she keep her comments to herself! It's more manly!" Elfman shouted to no one is particular as he was home alone at the Strauss sibling house. Lisanna and Mira were at the guild and their bar shift didn't end for about another hour.

"Why can't she just listen and be a man about it!?" Elfman continued to shout until he heard the door open to their house. He froze and sat in his bedroom and listened. It sounded like they were in the kitchen rummaging around for something. He slowly but surely got off of his bed and walked to the kitchen at the fastest past he could muster without letting the person or people he was here.

"Juvia can't find it! Where did he put it!" One person yell-whispered. Was that Juvia?

"Shut up and it has to be here because Mira said he put it in one of the cabinets of the kitchen last night!" That one sounded like Levy.

"Don't tell me to shut up! Just find it and then leave because I think he's asleep, we can't let him know were here!" A person that sounded suspiciously like Lisanna spoke.

He heard them say Mira so obviously they knew her. So just why were they sneaking around in their house looking for something this man put in one of the kitchen drawers last night?

"Wait! Juvia has found it!" Okay, that was definitely Juvia. Who else talks in third person? Much less using someone else's name.

"Great! Let's go before he wakes up!" A high pitched voice told him it was surely Levy. He knew they were about to leave so he got out of his hiding spot to confront them when all of the sudden he saw black everywhere.

Earlier That Day:

"Have you guys noticed how Elf-nee looks at Evergreen?" Lisanna asked her group of friends at the guild. Levy, Lucy,Lisanna, Cana, Erza, and Juvia were surrounding at table at the back of the guild hall. Mira was still serving as her shift wouldn't end until 10 am.

"Actually, now that you mention it, I have." Erza spoke. She glanced away to watch Evergreen look at Bickslow in a rude way before flipping her hair and walking away to where Elfman is and start arguing about how he says stuff is always manly.

"Ya know, I think you have a point Lis." Lucy commented as she followed Erza's gaze to the people of their current topic.

"Juvia thinks they should be together like Juvia's Gray-sama and herself!" The bluenette started blushing fiercely and gushing about how amazing her Gray-sama is.

"Hey Juvia? You do know that you two aren't actually together right?" Lucy set her hand in Juvia's shoulder.

The bluenette recoiled at her touch.

"You only say that because you want him all to yourself! LOVE RIVAL!" Juvia hissed and went to sit by Erza instead. Lucy just stared dumbly after her and then snapped out if it to rejoin the conversation about Elfman and Evergreen.

"Juvia has a point you guys," Cana finally spoke up from in between gulps of her alcohol. "they totally need to hook up soon."

"Cana!" Lisanna made a weird face and turned to face Levy because they were the only ones actually talking about Elfman and Evergreen as Erza was playing with a sword, Cana was chugging a barrel of beer, Juvia was hissing at Lucy, and Lucy was too busy trying to calm Juvia down.

"So what are we gonna do about them?" Levy asked the white-haired woman in front of her.

"Well, we can always just knock my brother out since he's a deep sleeper and we can ask Evergreen if she wants to go shopping since she could never turn that down. And then we could take Elf-nee and drag him to where Ever is and then he would wake up and have to take her to lucnh since it's a 'manly thing to do'." Lisanna explained to the group which had quieted down to listen to Lisanna talk.

Everyone nodded their heads and started talking about who would go where while a certain demon bartender listens from a couple tables over. It was a miracle she had actually been able to hear over the sound of her younger brother fighting Natsu Gray, and the rest of the guilds boys in the center of the room.

"Well, let's see where this goes." Mira smiled as she walked quickly back to the bar as if she never left.

Present Time:

"Hello Evergreen."

"What do you want Scarlet." The said brunette was sitting next to the Thunder Legion since her fight with Elfman that morning.

"Would you like to go shopping with me? I know a great place to eat before we go to and I'll pay." Erza never did things like this so obviously Evergreen said yes.

They were out the door and off to the shops before anyone could say Fairy Tail.

Lisanna smiled from her seat at the guild. Now they both of them and could put the second part of their plan into action.

"So where is this place you found that we could eat at, Scarlet?" Evergreen questioned the redhead.

"Oh, it's not too far from here. Actually it's right there." The two women turned a corner and found them face to face with a really fancy restaurant.

"Oh my, Scarlet! You've really outdone yourself this time. Why?" Evergreen glared at Erza while the redhead smiled and called over her shoulder.

"You can come out now Elfman!"

Said man stepped out from behind a vendor's stand and waves shyly at the dumbfounded brunette.

"ELFMAN! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE!" Evergreen shrieked demanding to know what was happening behind her back.

"Trust me! I didn't come here on my own accord, I was knocked out. So not manly.." The last part was mumbled under his breathe but Evergreen heard him and scowled at Erza.

"Scarlet, did you happen to set me up on a date with, him?" Ever said the last word in a disgusting tone that had Elfman glaring at her.

"Actually it was Lisanna, Levy, Lucy, Cana, Juvia, and me who did it so you're welcome! Have a nice lunch you two!" And with that, Erza turned on her heel and left without another word.

Evergreen faced her date.

"We all know your buying right?"