The Shinji Ikari One Shots

June 7th, 2018

Waking up… sucked.

It was the day after Shinji Ikari's 17th birthday. More precisely it was the morning after. Even more precisely, it was the morning after Misato Katsuragi had insisted that he, Asuka Langley Soryu, and Rei Ayanami go celebrate in the hotel bar. It took Shinji a moment to remember why they were at a hotel… and where the hell the hotel was.

It had been nearly three years since the end of the Angel War, as it was known. Things had gone somewhat weird at the ass end…

Ass end. Shinji thought. I don't say ass end, why would I think it? I'm not some cowboy. It's a stupid phrase anyway, it's not like anybody calls the beginning the 'mouth end'.

Whatever, it was time once again for them to be dragged in front of some commission or hearing, or inquest. Again. That was why they were in America in Atlanta, Georgia, in America. Not Atlanta-2, the city actually had the good fortune of being inland and so had become something of a center of government for the remained of the southern US. Shinji figured he must have picked up that stupid cowboy talk from the locals.

Right, Shinji thought as he pulled the pillow over his eyes. The sunlight was making the pain in his head so much worse. We were in the bar and the that's when we find out that the Americans lowered their drinking age because they lowered all their age restrictions with such a young population after impact.

So alcohol became involved, and unlike most of the time, it was not just for Misato.

And then… and then he woke up. Perhaps calling his current state awake was an optimistic stretch, but that in no way made Shinji feel any better about not remembering anything in between.

Shinji's view on the current state of affairs did not improve as he became aware of his surroundings.

This was not his hotel room. It was far too large and there was too many heart shaped things and flowers and an empty bottle of wine. And the other side of the king sized bed he alone occupied was warm and smelled of honeysuckle. He was also naked. Ad the sheets were sticky.

However the biggest issue was his hand. His left hand, if we are still interested in being precise. And in the interest of precision, the issue at hand rested over the second most distal finger from his thumb on his left hand between the first and second knuckle.

The issue at hand, as it were, was, that is to say, a, that being the singular indefinite article, gold, being a metal occupying the seventy-ninth space on the periodic table, ring, that being a toroid piece of jewelry in this case worn around the finger.

Incidentally, a gold ring on the ring finger of the left hand does usually indicate that one is married. This presented a problem.

And to be absolutely specific, that problem was that Shinji Ikari had no recollection of being married and most definitely was not married when he began drinking last night. To elaborate further, Shinji Ikari was in the honeymoon suite of a hotel, in which there had clearly been another occupant, wearing a wedding ring and nursing a rather fearsome hangover. Naked and sitting on damp and sticky sheets.

"Oh shit."

Shinji quickly washed and dressed on auto-pilot as he considered the options. The plain blue suit he had worn to the hearing had been hung up, so it still looked presentable, but Shinji could not find his tie. He left the collar undone.

Assuming this was not a very expensive and all too thorough joke, he was married. That established, the question was now to whom. His three most likely wives were his drinking companions and fellow NERV veterans.

Shinji grabbed his phone on his way out the door, but it was dead. Pictures may have helped him figure this out. He checked the room number. Okay, same floor as we were all assigned to in the first place. Shinji started walking towards their rooms.

The first room was Misato's. Shinji could hear her snoring down the hall. If Misato was still asleep, she was definitely not his bride.. She would not have left the honeymoon suite and gone to her own bed and fallen back into a deep sleep before the bed had lost its warmth.

Shinji listened at the door of the room Asuka and Rei had shared. Nothing. Which might not mean anything, Rei slept as silently as she did anything else. Even sex.

The last few years had been difficult. Not hard necessarily. They were fed and had places to live, but difficult. All three pilots and Misato saw therapists regularly. In Shinji's case twice a week, more if it was a difficult time, less if he was making progress. All of them had been broken before Tokyo-3. Afterwards… it was gluing together pieces.

He and Rei had been fifteen when they tried having sex. It was not a good experience, for either of them. When Asuka found out she insisted she was mature enough too. Like always. It had only gone well in comparison, but it had happened a few times more since. When they were both lonely, and anxious.

Shinji went to the elevator, then thought better of it and entered the stairwell. Shinji needed to figure out who he was married to before any conversation and it was best for all of them if he didn't talk to any of them before he figured this out. While romance was never going to an option with Misato or Rei, and neither he nor Asuka were ready yet and may never be, he cared enough about them not to hurt them if he could help it.

Shinji's hand was on the doorway into the lobby when he froze. Rei's beryl blue hair was easy to spot at a distance and he watched her pass through the columned lobby through the small window in the door. When she passed behind a pillar, Shinji quietly slipped out into the lobby. He moved from pillar to pillar, only moving leaving cover when he saw her pass behind a pillar on the opposite end of the room. Finally, he watched her enter the necessities store.

Shinji was not sure if he had successfully evaded detection or if Rei had just ignored him. Ignore was too strong a word for Rei, it implied some motive or intent. If she was aware of him, she had chosen not to interact.

In his stalking though, he'd seen both her hands. No ring.

Shinji leaned back against the pillar, breathing a sigh of relief.

"What are you doing skulking around, third?"

Shinji jumped and let out a shriek. "Ah!"

Asuka had grown more than Shinji had and even leaned forward with her hands on her hips she looked down on him. Her collection of colorful and stylish eye patches did not make a glare from her blue eye any less disconcerting. Today she was wearing a flesh tone cream colored one with gold embroidery. It could not be said to match red t-shirt and skin tight jeans with sandals, but Asuka made it work for her.

"Nothing! Nothing! I'm not skulking, what are you talking about?"

"A married man like you should walk taller, not sneak around like a mouse!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Shinji said, arms raised defensively.

"Jeeze, you haven't been this jumpy in years, what's wrong with you?"

Before saying anything, Shinji peaked out under his arms at Asuka's left hand. No ring.

"Oh thanks heaven, it's not you!"

"It's not… Thank heaven it's not me! Come here you little bastard, I'll drag you off to your hussy by the ear!"

"Well, at least I'd know then."

"The hell are you talking about, third?"

"I woke up with a wedding ring on and I don't remember how it got there, okay!"

"You idiot." Asuka scoffed. "You don't remember anything?"

"No!"

"Fine, I believe you…" Asuka said, and for a moment Shinji got his hopes up. "And you know what, I'm going to leave you in your ignorance. I ain't tellin' you shit."

"What?! Come on, you gotta tell me!"

"No, I most definitely do not."

"Bitch." Shinji grumbled. Spending time around each other in the years since Tokyo-3, Shinji had largely lost his fear of Asuka's wrath. She had just surprised him before.

"Jerk-off." Asuka replied, brow raised over her good eye. It was after a year and a half of therapy that Shinji had shared with her what he had done when she was comatose. It had been to excise his guilt, to confess to and apologize for how he had hurt people. Somewhat predictably, it had also become the genesis of Asuka's go-to insult since.

Asuka left.

Shinji took a deep breath then let it out. So it wasn't Asuka, Misato, or Rei.

Asuka he could definitely count out. She would never troll that hard. Besides Asuka would never be up that early on her own and her alarm would have woken him on a good day, let alone with this headache.

Or Misato was too drunk and went back to her own room sometime in the night, but that wouldn't account for the bed being warm on both sides. No, not Misato.

Rei wasn't wearing a ring, so that counts her out. Unless she just wasn't wearing the ring, but that introduced far too many variables anyway and that way lies madness. Like everything involving 'figuring out Rei'.

Shinji sighed once more. The front desk was across the lobby. He knew their room number and obviously if he had not paid for the room she must have. All he needed to do was go and tell them he could not find his wife and ask them to page her.

It's time to face the music, Shinji thought. Three years of twice weekly therapy and forcing himself to participate into situations which made him anxious had given Shinji the the ability to stand up and confront his life without running away.

"Excuse me-"

A hand landed on Shinji's left shoulder. "There you are!"

Shinji gasped. Her silky smooth voice was starting to bring up memories of the night before. Shinji turned his head to look at her hand. He saw the gold band around her tanned finger and her long red nails brought up visions of her hands making his body scream and explode on her command, of the way it felt when her nails lefts marks in his skin.

"Maria." Shinji breathed out and began to turn.

"I was worried my cute new husband had run off. I went to make our breakfast reservation and you weren't in bed where I left you." Maria Vicennes said.

Shinji looked up at… his wife. Weird as it was to even think that. Her long platinum blonde hair was pulled back in a trimmed bangs left to frame her blue eyes. Her smart white silk blouse into her black pencil skirt. She placed her hands on his shoulders and smiled, and that made Shinji want to smile back.

Little details from conversations began to bubble to the front of his thoughts. She was only about as tall as him, but Maria liked high heels and only wore flats to work out. With the pair she had on today the top of Shinji's head was just above her shoulder.

"You scared me. Don't run off on me like that again." Maria said, then licked her deep red lips. "Or I might have to keep a leash on you."

"I'm sorry, I… I just…"

"Oh, was someone a little forgetful for a moment there?"

"Yeah."

"No regrets I hope."

"I…. well, I…" Shinji wasn't sure what to say. His memory of last night was still spotty and he didn't want to hurt this woman's feelings.

Shinji's mind was put at ease as her soft hands slid from his shoulders, up to neck, until she was cupping his cheeks.

"Why don't we have a talk over breakfast?"

Shinji's mind boggled sitting across from his wife as waiters brought her plate after plate. How did she stay so thin and eat so much?!

Shinji had only one plate in front of him. Over easy eggs Eggs, greens, fruit and a glass of orange juice. Shinji would have liked a waffle or pancake but he had never had the chance to order. Maria had told the waiter what her husband would be having before he even got to look at the menu.

"So…" Maria said, dabbing at the corner of her mouth with a napkin as a waiter cleared a stack of three empty plates away. "How complete is your recollection of late night?"

"Uuuh…" shrugged and help up one hand horizontal and tilted it this way and that. "Here and there."

"I see. Well, let me take you through our courtship as it was. You had just had I think your third drink of the night. I'd been watching you since you came in with that woman and those girls because I thought you were quite cute. I sent you a drink and the bartender pointed me out. I waved and beckoned and you came right over. You were oh so polite, miss this, ma'am that. Oooh!" Maria shivered. "Was wonderful. Then we got to talking."

"Did I talk about… I don't want to sound crazy but, you know... anything crazy?"

"Yes, you told me all about your old job. And I told you how I knew a little bit about it because my employer at the time was a supplier for the american program before that whole thing black hole shaped. You actually started the conversation by asking me what I thought of children in giant robots. I told you I found the idea utterly ridiculous."

"Oh."

"Anyhow, the talking we the got to. I told you that I am a woman of means who cannot bear men who are jerks too proud to have a woman taking the lead in a relationship. Ya see…" Shinji listened to her intently. The soft drawl of her voice like a melody. "In my professional life I deal with those sorts all the time and I have no patience for coming home to it. So I said the man of my dreams would know his place and stay home, cook my food, clean my house, and when I decide to have them take care of my children."

"Oh, I think is coming back now." Shinji said, holding his forehead with both hands were it hurt.

"Oh, goody." Maria said then snapped her fingers for a passing waiter. "Some ice and a bloody mary for my husband, he has a hangover something awful and I fear it may only get worse."

"Much obliged." Shinji said, using a bit of local English he had picked up somewhere. From her actually, now that he thought of it.

"So I asked what you thought of that. And you replied..."

"Will you marry me?"

"Bingo!" Maria said, quietly clapping. "Now I am sure by this point I do not have to tell you I am not the sort of woman to let something I want slip through my fingers. I just made a few calls, working that ol baptist grapevine y'know, found a preacherman who didn't mind a late night out, woke up a jeweler for some rings and there we were. Couple hours later we were on the important business of consummating the arrangement. You were a bit sloppy by then but I won't hold it against you."

"Oh… I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you mustn't go through life apologizing for just being, it's not healthy. And I would know."

"Oh?"

"While business has been my forte, my education is a PhD in behavioral psychology."

"I'm starting to understand now."

"Oh you certainly perked up when I told you the first time. "

"We should go."

"Beg your pardon?"

"I mean it. Maria, you are absolutely perfect and I will never deserve you. Please though, can we just leave? I want to be everything you want and just leave everything else that's happened to me until now behind me."

"Don't you want to say goodbye to your friends?"

"Friends? What friends? If anyone asks I don't know any of them. Let's go!"

The waiter was called, the check was paid, and orders left with the concierge to have everything in the room packed and forwarded to the local office of Vicennes & Co Ltd. A message was delivered, along with what Maria deemed a modest payment, to Misato Katsuragi, along with a brief explanation. And before anybody was the wiser, Shinji was holding hands with his wife in the back of a black car.

"So… And I feel like I should have asked this before now, where do you live?"

"Well I like to winter on the Gulf Coast, such that it is now, and summer in the New Hamptons. Europe is just a little bit too urban for a place to live in my opinion. Do you like horses? I got a nice little spot with a few thousand acres east of Austin."

"I've never even seen one in person." Shinji said with a chuckle.

"Well I am just going to have to teach you then. Oh my you'll look lovely in a pair of wranglers. Hmmm, might even play a little pony ourselves." Maria said with a grin, licking her lips.

Holy shit, he thought. You know someone has crossed the line from merely rich to wealthy when they start using 'summer' and 'winter' as verbs.

"Hey I have an odd question."

"Yes, dear?"

"Do you mind if I take your name? I kind of don't like being associated with my parents."

"Dear, did you really think you'd have a choice? The paperwork is filed, Shinji Vicennes."

HAPPY SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY SHINJI!

Well this is a short one, but the opportunity presented itself and I liked the idea. For those unaware, Maria Vicennes is an EVA pilot from the tabletop RPG book. This story implies she is a little older. The few images we have of her remind me Dorothy Catalonia from Gundam Wing, so that may help your visualization. And yea she is a total Domme in this.

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