A New Screen Name
I went to school again today, that's two days running, a record for me. I went so Emily could see I hadn't stolen the laptop, plus I wanted to give her an update; I didn't see her all day. But the main reason I went to school today was because I wanted the time to pass quickly. I couldn't wait to get home to see if, Product of a Mistake, was back online. I considered skipping at lunch, but I realized they were probably still at school, so I stuck it out. Thankfully my English teacher left me alone today.
The school bell rang and I made sure I didn't run out of the school, although it would make sense, bad boy Jess wanting to get as far away from the school as quickly as possible. I made it home faster than yesterday and was once again thankful as it looked as though Liz was out for the day… and hopefully the night. I pulled out the laptop and turned it on. I went to the kitchen in search for a snack and settled on an apple I had stashed in the back of a cupboard and some water.
I logged into the chat room and searched the names anxiously. They weren't logged on, I searched again, but I knew I wouldn't have missed them the first time aroud. Still not there. Well I did practically run home from school, so chances are they aren't even home yet. I searched the list slowly. I needed something to fill in the time. I came across, The Sun Also Sets, and clicked on their name.
You Don't Want to Know Me: Do everyone a favor and read Hemingway
The Sun Also Sets: What?
You Don't Want to Know Me has logged off
Maybe they'd take the hint, or hopefully change their screen name. Come on, who has that screen name without reading Hemingway? That's just wrong. And come on, who hasn't heard of Hemingway? …Maybe I'll ask, Product of a Mistake, if they'd read Hemingway before I get too attached… well more attached.
I scrolled through the list again, hoping, wishing that they'd logged on. I was nervous and excited at the same time… Wait, what if this was a guy? I can't be attracted to a guy. No, it wouldn't be a guy… it can't be. Well maybe if I wish hard enough they won't be a guy. And then there's the fact I can't exactly ask them what gender they are, they nearly bit my head off for asking what country they lived in.
I scrolled the list again and my eyes fell upon the screen name, Product of a Mistake, they were online. By now I was more nervous than excited. Please don't be a guy, I muttered under my breath as I click on their screen name.
You Don't Want to Know Me: Oliver Twist
Product of a mistake: Excuse me?
You Don't Want to Know Me: My favorite book
Product of a Mistake: Oh, really? That's a good book
You Don't Want to Know Me: I know… Well, I think it's my favorite. In my top five definitely
Product of a Mistake: It's in my top five too. So, do you read much?
You Don't Want to Know Me: Not much
Product of a Mistake: Really? Well then what else do you like?
You Don't Want to Know Me: Music mainly
Product of a Mistake: Oooh really? What kind of music?
You Don't Want to Know Me: Old rock mainly, Clash, Metallica, Zeppelin. You?
Product of a Mistake: The same, strangely enough, but also anything that's catchy at the time. My best friend is like a total music freak, so she introduces me to anything and everything
You Don't Want to Know Me: They sound cool
Product of a Mistake: What about you, do you have friends? Well I'm sure you have friends… What I mean is that…
You Don't Want to Know Me: It's okay, I get it… and no I don't have any friends
Product of a Mistake: Really? Why?
You Don't Want to Know Me: I like my own company… I'm actually on this site because of it
Product of a Mistake: What? Why? …Well if you don't mind telling me that is
You Don't Want to Know Me: School counselor, they thought it'd be good for me to find a friend… you know, someone to talk to
Product of a Mistake: So have you found anyone yet? This is your second day isn't it?
You Don't Want to Know Me: Yeah, it's only my second day, but I've met you and you seem pretty cool
Product of a Mistake: Thx, hang on brb
You Don't Want to Know Me: Huh? …Hello? …You still there?
Okay, so still not catching onto the whole internet slang thing. I opened up another tab and typed 'Internet Slang' into Google. Jeez, all these site dedicated to explaining internet slang. I clicked on the first one, it seemed like a good as any place to start. I scrolled down trying to take in all the shorthand. Jeez, the page went on forever. I finally hit the B's and found that, brb, meant, be right back, okay at least that makes sense. I hit the D's and realized there was no way I was going to remember all of these. I figured I'd just ask them to stop using it.
Product of a Mistake: k, I'm back
You Don't Want to Know Me: Umm, would you mind…
Product of a Mistake: What?
You Don't Want to Know Me: Could you refrain from using internet slang?
Product of a Mistake: Internet slang? Oh you mean IM talk… Ok, that's fine, I don't like using it that much anyway
You Don't Want to Know Me: Thanks
Product of a Mistake: I'll teach you a few though… unavoidable ones, they actually make talking easier you know?
You Don't Want to Know Me: No, I don't know, but I guess you could teach me a few
Product of a Mistake: Okay, the most important one is, lol, which stands for laugh out loud. So if someone says something funny or if something's just funny you write, lol
You Don't Want to Know Me: Okay, makes sense… I guess
Product of a Mistake: You can also use, lmao, lmfao, rofl, they also mean laughing out loud, but if you're just chatting to me you can just use lol
You Don't Want to Know Me: I don't think I'll use it, I don't laugh much… Well at all actually
Product of a Mistake: I'll have to change that, won't I? I'll have you saying, lol, in no time
You Don't Want to Know Me: Sure, so what else?
Product of a Mistake: If you have to sign off you can use, ttyl- talk to you later, g2g- got to go
You Don't Want to Know Me: Makes sense
Product of a Mistake: If you have to leave quickly, eg. to go to the bathroom, then you would write, brb- be right back, or afk- away from keyboard
You Don't Want to Know Me: I know brb, I Googled it
Product of a Mistake: Yeah Googling them is good. Umm, others I would use are, FYI- for your information, OMG- Oh my god, ty/thx- Thank you, np- no problem, k- okay, Idk- I don't know, b/c- Because, atm- At the moment, btw- By the way, Idc- I don't care
You Don't Want to Know Me: Hmm, Idc, I think I'll be using that one a fair bit
Product of a Mistake: So you understand?
You Don't Want to Know Me: Kind of, I don't think I'll remember any of them though
Product of a Mistake: That's alright, I'll try not to use them. I don't like using them often because I like the English language
You Don't Want to Know Me: Weird, so I'm guessing you like school then?
Product of a Mistake: Yeah, I love it
You Don't Want to Know Me: Love is a fairly strong word
Product of a Mistake: I'm guessing you don't like school then?
You Don't Want to Know Me: Well… not really
Product of a Mistake: Why?
You Don't Want to Know Me: No reason, just don't see the point
Product of a Mistake: The point? You've got to be kidding me?
You Don't Want to Know Me: No, school holds no benefit in my life
Product of a Mistake: Come on, you have to pass school to get into college… You are going to college right?
You Don't Want to Know Me: No, college isn't for me
Product of a Mistake: Why?
You Don't Want to Know Me: Can we just drop it?
Product of a Mistake: Can't you just tell me?
You Don't Want to Know Me: Fine, where I'm from you don't go to college… there are more important things in life
Product of a Mistake: So what are you going to do?
You Don't Want to Know Me: Whatever
Product of a Mistake: And where are you going to live?
You Don't Want to Know Me: Wherever
Product of a Mistake: Whatever, wherever... That's not a very good plan
You Don't Want to Know Me: I'll live where I live and I'll work where I work
Product of a Mistake: Fine, but just like the usage of the phrase 'lol', I'll convince you otherwise
You Don't Want to Know Me: What are you reading at the moment?
Product of a Mistake: Howl, have you heard of it?
You Don't Want to Know Me: Yeah I know it, I'm reading it at the moment as well
Product of a Mistake: Really? How many times have you read it?
You Don't Want to Know Me: I don't know… about forty
Product of a Mistake: Forty? I thought you said you didn't read much
You Don't Want to Know Me: Well, what is much?
Product of a Mistake: Dodger
You Don't Want to Know Me: Oliver Twist? …Why are you calling me Dodger?
Product of a Mistake: Because you lied to me about how much you read
Dodger: Hmm… Okay then. I like the name Dodger and it suits me more than you could understand
Product of a Mistake: Hey, you changed your name… I like it. It's more approachable
Dodger: Well unless they know Oliver Twist
Product of a Mistake: Hey, Dodger was cute
Dodger: Are you calling me cute?
Product of a Mistake: No… I was just saying that… never mind, so I'm guessing you're a guy then?
Dodger: Yeah… Are you of the opposite sex?
Product of a Mistake: If you mean female… then yes
Dodger: Now we've got that established, I think you need a new name
Product of a Mistake: You don't even know my name?
Dodger: I meant your screen name
Product of a Mistake: Oh, well I can't change it
Dodger: Why?
Product of a Mistake: My mom made up the rules for forcing me into this chat room and one of them was that I had to keep this name for at least three days
Dodger: So tomorrow you can change it?
Product of a Mistake: I guess
Dodger: What are you going to change it to?
Product of a Mistake: No idea, how about you choose?
Dodger: Really? I wouldn't trust me
Product of a Mistake: Well I named you, so it's only fair that you name me
Dodger: Okay, I'll have it by tomorrow
Product of a Mistake: Great, because I really hate this name
Dodger: Don't worry, mine won't be as bad as that… I hope, I've never had to name anything before
Product of a Mistake: Really, no pets?
Dodger: None, my mom's not equipped to look after pets
Product of a Mistake: Mine either, but trust me, that hasn't stopped her
Dodger: Well we have that in common
Product of a Mistake: Yeah, so how old are you?
Dodger: 17, you?
Product of a Mistake: 16
Dodger: Sweet sixteen never been kissed
Product of a Mistake: Shut up
Dodger: Ooh defensive, I was only joking. So did your mom make you join a chat room to meet a guy?
Product of a Mistake: That was one of the reasons
Dodger: Your mom seems… so different from mine
Product of a Mistake: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Dodger: A good thing, well for you at least. I still have to live with my mom
Product of a Mistake: Is she bad?
Dodger: I don't really want to talk about it
Product of a Mistake: Okay, sure
Dodger: Umm, I have to go, I think my mom's home
Product of a Mistake: Okay
Dodger: Will you be on tomorrow?
Product of a Mistake: Yeah, don't forget to think of my screen name
Dodger: I won't, bye
Product of a Mistake: ttyl
Dodger has logged off
So Liz wasn't home, that conversation was just getting a little close for my tastes. I don't know why, but I felt as though I'd tell this girl everything if she asked me, so I logged off before I got the chance. I shut down the computer and stashed it safely in the back of my closet. Hopefully Liz would never find it.
I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. Liz would be out for the night. I'm pretty sure we didn't have any edible food in the house. I could always order pizza with the money I took off Liz when she was drunk, but I felt oddly full from my apple.
So I just laid there and reflected on the conversation I just had.
I found out she was a girl, who read and had cool tastes in music. Plus, she was also easy to talk to, a little too easy in fact. Maybe I wasn't in love… yet, but I was definitely falling for her. All I have to do now is come up with her new screen name, well, that should be fun, and not time consuming at all… not.