Chapter 3
"It's okay, you just forgot who you are.
Welcome back"
SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPSNSPNSPNSPNSPN
The first thing Dean became aware of when he woke up was the sound of a loud conversation going on, recognizing a particular voice he heard his entire life, wheter he enjoyed listening to it or not, depending on what it said. It was Sam's voice. His little brother had been gone for two days, but to him, each day lasted a damn year. Dean was either going crazy, or he was starting to forget his brother's features and routines. They were the smaller details that mattered, such as the dimples that appeared on his brother's face every time he smiled at him, the way he touched his long hair nervously when he was stressed or tired; even the spark of happiness in his eyes whenever they reunited with each other.
His heart ached, it hurt like it had been stabbed by the one thing he had never believed could be evil. A damn Archangel. In the better days, he would tease Sam for believing in angels and all that crap, denying their existence because thier mother believed in them too, yet, she died burning in the damn ceiling, suffering every second until her body stopped moving at all; turning their lives into ashes that were never recovered. Weren't angels supposed to be good and have fluffy soft wings? That was the picture the bible sold him. Now he understood why God left in the first place. The angels, God's children, turned out to be just another source of evilness in a world that was supposed to be his perfect creation.
He, now, felt empathy for the damn Lord, or Chuck, as he liked to be called these days. He had had a family, friends, two women he really loved. He thought he could live in the perfect world he created for the rest of his days, however, life proved him wrong. The women he loved were now away, and God knows where, yet safe and sound from him, which was worth the sacrifice. Most of his loved ones were dead or either had died before coming back to life again. He had been torned apart in hell for forty years by a demon called Alastair,swearing to never be abused again, just to be abused again by an Archangel many years later. He remembered what he had done. He could still see it every time he closed his eyes.
Dean was a strong man, and he had proven that to the world. At least he thought he had been through enough already. Could he be broken and tired of this life, enough to quit one day? He wanted to quit, but he never commented that to anyone. He wanted a normal life, he wanted to celebrate Halloween without thinking all the monsters he had hunted every time he saw a kid dressed as a vampire, werewolf or witch. Today was Halloween, and he was locked up by choice in his room with pizza, beers and horror movies. The marathon was interesting, but his body was tired, and so was his mind. He didn't mean to fall asleep, however, he admitted he felt a lot better when he woke up, specially since it was the first nap free off nightmares. He needed to keep fighting for his brother, his mother, Cass and Jack. He owed them that much.
As Michael, his agenda was busy, mainly based on torturing angels, demons and creating new kind of monsters. It was something he was not proud of, but he could not change what he had done. He allowed Michael in for Sam, for the well being of the entire world, yet, the sacrifices he and his family made seemed to be everytime greater and more painful as time went by. It was not fair. Now, he felt odd and angry at the world, at himself. He needed to get his life back, and sitting in his damn bed all day would not help to find the piece that was missing. Out of nothing, he felt the needed motivation to take a small step towards recovery. At least it was a positive thing to do. He needed a win, and he was gonna get it, even if it was the last thing he'd do. Dean was sure Sam needed a win too. It hurt like hell, but enough was enough.
Standing up and taking a deep breath, placed his hand on the cold handle of his bedroom's door, twisted it, and let the door open all the way through. There was no excuse to stay inside now. He could fit through that wide space, he could walk away from his comfort zone again. If he did not have the motivation to put himself back together, no one would be able help him.
Taking a deep breath, gave one step out of the room, his heart racing, almost exploding inside his chest. His hands became sweaty as he tried to take control of the situation.
Come on, Dean. He needs you. You gotta try this. Sammy needs you.
He followed the direction of the loud voices, being careful and silent, as if he could be invisible. If he didn't look at them, they wouldn't look at him, right?
Stupid kid logic, he thought, even if it was, in some weird way, kinda comforting.
Dean knew it was a dumb thing to do, but it was all he was hanging onto, until he found a familiar body in the crowded bunker. He gave quick glances at the surprised faces that, finally, saw him walk out of his room. What were they looking at? Were they going to make a freaking party for him or what?
Calm down, breathe, he thought to himself, recognizing the signs of anxiousness tensing his muscles, creating a frown on his forehead. He had to find Sam. He NEEDED to find him to keep on living. Without him, there was no point on fighting the good fight.
Once he stopped his tracks in front of the kitchen, saw his brother's back. His flannel was dirty and bloody, but he seemed to be okay. He could read his brother's movements, instantly knowing if he was okay, and luckily, that sixth sense had not vanished during the time he had been gone. Sam was sitting in front of Mary and Bobby, holding a cool beer in his left hand, talking about the hunting trip.
"-there were no casualties. I had to stitch Bryce, but nothing more than- What's going on?" asked Sam, confused. Dean figured out that Mary and Bobby were alert of his presence. When their eyes met, he saw the happiness mixed with confusion and hope.
"Dean... How are you doing, son?" Bobby asked carefully, like asking what kind of abuse a rescued child had gone though. Maybe he was just a scared and scarred child who learned to be thougher than he thought was possible.
Dean eyed Sam, seeing how he looked down and cleared his throat. He was clearly not expecting him to be there, standing on his own two feet, being brave enough to be out of the prison he created for himself over the past week.
"I'm fine" said Dean with low voice. It seemed like an eternity since he last talked to any of his loved ones, let alone the apocalypse survivors that lived under his roof. He wanted to speak louder, but he figured he would give one step at a time. There was no need to rush things and make a mess out of it.
Dean saw how Sam, quietly, almost automatically, moved to give him space to sit next to him. It was almost like a natural gesture, something that did not need to be asked for.
"Hey Samm- Sam... How was the hunting trip?" said Dean, thinking twice about every word that came out of his mouth. He could not forget that the last thing he said to him. Would Sam ever forgive him?
"I... It was not an easy hunting trip I guess... We killed a bunch of powerful werewolves, got tossed around, but we all survived. I guess that that is all that matters at the end of the day" said Sam, avoiding his big brother's green eyes, staring at him, screaming I'm sorry, little brother.
"You didn't get hurt, right?" asked the elder hunter, his big brother's instincts finally kicking in again, looking at his brother's body once more, insecure of missing a single detail. His eyes travelled through his arms, bearded face and torso, scanning him.
"Nothing too bad... Just some cuts and scratches. Nothing to worry about" said Sam, this time, his voice sounding tired, but a little more relaxed, like he was not holding an egg in a spoon and was forced to run without dropping it. He was not fragil. He was a damn Winchester, and things would be okay. They had to be.
Dean joined to the hunters, sitting next to his brother, feeling his heart beating faster and faster as the seconds flew by. He could get through this.
"So, I guess that this is just the beginning. We're gonna need more men to cover up some hunts. You cannot do things the way you used to anymore... I mean, a freaking big storm is coming, and we're all right under it" commented Bobby, who was playing with the half empty beer bottle in his hands, trying to sound calmed, so he would not trigger the elder hunter.
"Yeah, I am afraid that we'll have to go on a road trip again soon" answered Mary, sounding a little frustrated.
"Yeah, I guess so. But first I gotta talk to-" started saying Sam, when he was interrupted by his mother.
"You don't have to anything right now, Sam. You have to take a shower, eat real food and sleep. When was the last time you allowed yourself to close your eyes? You have to rest, Sam" said Mary, seeing Sam's pale face.
"Mary's right, you idjit. We're not going anywhere for today. Take a nap. We'll wake you up if something comes up" commented Bobby.
Sam looked at Mary, his gaze heading from her to Bobby, and last but not least, Dean. He was right there, sitting next to him. Sam was tired, but Dean was there. He needed to talk to him, ask him if he was okay, do something to get his brother to talk to him.
"They're right, Sammy. You should take some rest. I promise I will be here when you wake up." affirmed Dean, placing his hand on his brother's shoulder. He backed off when Sam hissed in pain. Confused, he looked at him, silently asking What's wrong with you, little brother?
"It's nothing... A werewolf hurt my shoulder. Nothing too serious" said Sam, trying to get away from Dean's sudden grasp. He didn't need to bother his brother with a stupid bleeding gash on his shoulder. He could take care of it.
"Sam" said Dean, using his father's voice, demanding an answer. I'm not gonna let this go. I am not let you go again, Sam. I'm your big brother. It's my job, right? Look after my pain in the ass little brother.
"I can take care of it. I'm gonna go to my room now" said Sam, making his way out of the kitchen, sensing his brother's gaze focused on him. He started walking towards his room, through the long corridor of the bunker, feeling how the bandage making pressure on the wounded area was now soaked in blood, staining his flannel.
That was the last thing I needed, thought to himself, too focused on his hurt shoulder to notice the silent steps behind him, following him through the bunker in the distance.
Sam closed the door of his room, unbuttoned his long sleeve flannel, tossing it in the bed, and bent over to pick the first aid box that was under his bed. Dean always insisted on having one of them close, just in case he really needed it and couldn't reach each other to get help. With a shy smile that vanished from his face as soon as it appeared, cleaned his hands, getting ready stitching himself up.
He was about to start patching himself when someone opened the door without knocking. He didn't have to look up to see who it was.
"Hey, you lied to me, Sam. You told me it was just a scratch" said Dean, a little irritated, but worried sick about his brother, noticing the bloody bandage.
"I'm sorry, I- I didn't wanna bother you. I know you are not... doing so good lately. I can do this myself, you don't need to take care of me. I know how to do this"
"Are you kidding me, Sam? Stop saying bullshit" Stupid little brother. Of course I have to take care of you. I need you to be okay, you idiot. Sorry for not being here to fix your broken soul before. I am here now.
Dean took the sewing needle from Sam's bloody hands and started to stitch his little brother's shoulder. Whenever Sam groaned in pain, Dean apologized. He knew how bad that hurt. The faster he fixed his brother, the faster he would recover. Time was something that was too precious to lose when you learned the lesson.
For the first time in weeks, Sam allowed himself to let a tear slid down his face. Dean, his Dean, was back. His big brother was back, and he was happier than he had ever been. No one but his brother could fix his world in a second, making everything better.
Once Dean finished healing Sam, he washed his hands, helped his brother get dressed, and forced him to go to bed. Sam obeyed, because he was drained, but was still alert and following Dean's moves with his hazel eyes. He didn't want his brother to go away. What had just happened seemed to be a nice dream, and he didn't want to let that go. Not now, not ever.
"Wait a minute, I'll be back, Sammy" said Dean with a smile on his face.
"Promise?" asked Sam, looking like the small and scared child Dean raised, asking for his brother to promise him that he and his father would come back home soon, safe and sound.
"Promise. Just hang in there. I'll be back in a minute" said Dean, before disappearing from sight one second later
Sam nodded, teary eyed. Dean was coming back. This was real. He closed his eyes and counted the seconds, trying to hold the broken pieces of his mind and soul together on his own. He needed to be strong for his brother. Dean needed him to be the one that carried the weight of the world this time, and he was gonna do it with a freaking smile on his face. Hell, he would do anything to help his big brother recover.
"Hey, you okay?" asked the elder brother, making him flinch. Sam was surprised to see him back again so soon.
The younger Winchester did not hear him coming back to his room. Maybe he had been gone for more than a minute, but that did not matter anymore. He was there now.
Sam nodded and then eyed the pillow and blankets that were on the ground, right next to his bed. They were Dean's.
Dean turned off the lights, and proceed to get comfortable on the floor, shifting positions until he found a good spot to lay on, closing his eyes, finally feeling peaceful.
He heard Sam shifting in his bed, moving closer to him, facing the side where he was lying on. It didn't take long until his younger brother started snoring, and his whole body relaxed. Dean got up quietly, taking his sweet time to see his brother's face. He did not look worried anymore. He looked like a little angel. Being careful, he removed Sam's bangs from his eyes and left the room, closing the door behind him. The bunker was now dead silent, and it felt so good! He walked towards the kitchen, finding Bobby still there, sitting, lost in his thoughts.
"What up Bobby?" , asked Dean, feeling good to talk now.
"When you were... you know... the Idjit of your brother did not sleep or eat anything. He let his beard grow and went crazy... He wanted to find you, and wouldn't hear to your mother when she asked him if he wanted her to help. It seemed that he wanted to do it on his own, ya know? When you sat next to him an hour ago, he changed, really changed. It was the first time in weeks that Sam was, well... the Sam I got to know in these short period of time I got to share with you boys. I know that what you went through was difficult, but I'm glad to see you back with us, son" commented Bobby while offering a cold beer to him.
Dean didn't answer, but accepted the beer with a smile. The two men sat in silence, breathing hope, happiness. Like he promised to his little brother, everything would be okay. He had a family that would help him heal. He had people who loved him and accepted him for who he was. That was all he needed to keep on fighting.
Little did he know, the next morning, Sam would show up looking like a normal human being, meaning he would not look so pale anymore, using a clean flannel and without that beard that made him look like the guy from the movie "Cast Away".
Dean was still hurting, but above all, he trying to do good things for him and his family, doing it succesfully after failing so many times. In that moment, he allowed himself to live the present, blocking all those memories that were invisible fresh scars on his body. Dean felt better now. He was home.
The end.-
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Author's Note: So, this is the end of this awesome adventure we've had. Thank you for all the reviews and follows. Above all, thank you for waiting for this update. It's always sad to finish a fiction that touched my heart, but not all endings are bad. Actually, like Chuck said once, NOTHING NEVER REALLY ENDS, RIGHT? Hope you enjoyed these chapters. I for sure did enjoy writing them! Please, leave a review if you have a minute. REVIEWS ARE LOVE :)
KW.-