Joey and I head home after the long night. We both decide as a "couple" we need to go home together after such a big event, so we end up at Joey's apartment.
Joey didn't win tonight, I found out he has never won. He's been nominated six times and has yet to win. I do feel a bit bad. Although, I was also relieved when he didn't win because I'm not an actor. If he had won, I would have had to jump up, looking genuinely excited, kissed him and then stared at him lovingly during his entire speech. The cameras would have been on me for every second. I don't know how natural it would have looked coming from me. It was much easier to console him with a sad expression and clap for the the winner. Even so, I'm sure he is bummed about it. To be honest, I'm surprised he's handling it so well. I pinned him as a sore loser for sure - guess I was wrong about that.
By the time we get up to his apartment, it's past midnight and I'm exhausted. So, I go straight to the bathroom to get ready for bed.
After I'm ready, I decide I'm going to wish Joey a goodnight and see how he's doing. I know he's not a very considerate person himself, but I am and I can't help, but feel for him tonight.
I'm walking back to the living room, but I stop when I hear Joey talking. I realize he's on the phone. I'm intrigued when I overhear some of the conversation. I stay where I am and listen in secretly.
"I'm fine, this stuff doesn't matter to me... no, I don't need some trophy... I know you were... thanks, well if that happens it's still going on your mantle... yes, you're the only person I want to have it... okay, I will... love you too, bye mom," I overhear Joey say and then I hear him hang up the phone.
It sounded like a sweet conversation. I'm glad he talks so nicely to his mother. I assumed he didn't have a good relationship with his family since he only seems concerned with himself and he's never mentioned them once. Then again, I haven't mentioned my family either, but that's a lot to explain and embarrassing.
I'm still in the hallway so I wait a few seconds and then walk out to the living room.
"Hey," I speak softly.
"Hey," he responds.
"I just wanted to say goodnight," I explain.
He nods at me.
I feel bad, but I don't know what to say to make him feel any better.
"I feel like I should say something...helpful," I share my dilemma out loud.
"Don't worry about it," he brushes it off and walks over to his kitchen bar. He has a glass of alcohol that he clearly has already started.
He stands by the counter and takes another sip of his drink.
I walk over to him, but don't say anything else becuase I'm awkward.
He turns around and sits down in one of the barstools, facing me.
"What?" he questions my silent stance.
Still no good words of encouragement come to me. Instead, I'm staring at him. It might be bad timing, I might just be feeling bad for him, but I lean in and kiss him. I guess it was the only things I could think of.
He allows this and kisses me back, but this time it's not aggressive, fast or hard. It's really soft, kind of like at the park when that photographer was taking our picture, but it's even softer than that day. I lean into him more and the kiss continues and even deepens. I step in between his legs so I can get even closer to him and his hands grip onto my shirt. We're still kissing slow and I'm still surprised by his tender response. It's even nicer to enjoy his lips slowly and carefully.
He stands up without breaking our kiss and soon we end up in his bedroom. I'm falling back onto his bed and he's over me and the feeling of his lips start traveling everywhere. I'm enjoying every last second until we're both satisfied completely and he has fallen asleep next to me in the bed.
This time was different and not just becuase we're sleeping in the same bed for the night. No, I mean the sex was so different. Maybe he was drunk, he probably was. But being intoxicated doesn't usually make a person softer, more patient, and more tender. Joey was so attentive this time, he took his time and I really enjoyed it. Maybe more than I should have. I look over at him sleeping and I lose my train of thought for a moment.
I shake myself out of it. This is bad, I can't actually start liking him. That would be horrible. First of all, he's the most frustrating person. Secondly, we're still supposed to pretend to date for at least another two months. That's when our contract ends, although our publicists both agree: the longer the better. I can't develop real feelings for Joey.
I turn over to fall asleep, but my head keeps spinning with these never ending thoughts. I keep imagining how confusing and complicated it would be if I actually liked Joey. I can't let this happen, I won't. From here on out I am detacching myself from any serious thoughts about Joey. He is just a business advancement and my fake boyfriend for PR and he will never be real...never.