Angel stood silently in the shadows (it was sometimes quite a help that he didn't need to breathe. Shame Buffy had to…) and watched Cordelia enter his apartment with familiarity she didn't have three days ago. Behind her, Tina came in too, and then Doyle, muttering under his breath about stupid visions and headaches. The three of them pottered around for a while before Angel decided to let them know he was there, and bang on cue, Doyle suddenly stopped moaning and fell silent, signalling the girls to shut up too. The vampire in the shadows made a bit more noise, and Cordelia jumped.
"Alright, we know you're there!"
"Come out and fight like a thing."
"That's you're last warning."
Angel decided to put them out of their misery, and stepped out of his alcove with a grin on his face and a bounce in his step. He didn't know why he was so happy, but the look of shock on their faces might have had something to do with it.
"You're back!"
"No, Cordy, I'm a figment of your imagination."
"You guys can see him, right?" Doyle groaned and Tina tried (and failed) to hide a smirk at Cordelia's confusion, but they both nodded.
"You aren't evil, are you? Because that would be a really big dampener on you being home and all …"
Angel sighed. Would she ever get over angelus? Sure, she had a right to be scared, and he felt terrible about it, but that was the point – he felt bad enough about his demon without Queen C making it worse! Anyway, it wasn't like angelus ever did anything to her – it was willow's fish that died, Giles' girlfriend, and Buffy who he tormented. The two people that complained the most never felt the brunt of angelus' attacks; it was only Xander and Cordelia who truly seemed afraid it would happen again. The others knew that he wouldn't let it.
It was torturous to be able to be with Buffy, but not with her. Agony to be able to kiss her, and to have to stop himself from doing more. Torment to have those thoughts (which he knew he probably shouldn't have) and not be able to act on them – even a little bit. It was a pain worse than Hell, a feeling stronger than love; it was just Buffy – just loving Buffy. He had been right when he told spike about the slayer;
"To kill this slayer, you have to love her."
What he didn't realise, was that to kill him, she only had to love him back. Not just the fact that she loved his soul right out of him, or that she killed him literally, but killing his already dead heart. He sighed, and turned his thoughts back to Cordelia and her untrusting ways.
"No, Cordy, I'm not evil again." She would never truly understand him.
Now I have to go to school. And I only got 4 hours sleep last night, so you'd better be thankful for this!