Hello everybody, thanks for reading.
xoxo Leviosa
Chapter 29
"Maybe... Maybe there is no cure", he whispered. "I had the same thought. Credence, you shouldn't... I don't think you should believe anyone anymore. It's not that... I mean... I don't believe that anyone can cure it except yourself. Everybody else lies, if they believe that it is possible. I learned a lot in the circus, I learned a lot from you. But the most important thing, I always knew. You decide if it kills you or not", Malena said. They were hiding in the dark building, which Credence had destroyed. The darkness hid them from the eyes of the non magic and the aurors. They both had no idea what they were waiting for. But still, they stayed there. "I decide if it kills me. I decide if it kills me, Malena. And I decide if it kills someone else, right?", a crazy glance showed up in Credence eyes, but Malena did not notice. There was something she had to tell him. "You know what a Maledictus is. The carrier of a bloodcurse. And that's the point. A curse. It's not a disease, it's not like an obscurus. I got cursed, Credence. Because I did something wrong", she said and tried to sound calm, which did not really work. "Everybody does things wrong, and if you got cursed... I don't have a problem with you, because you are a Maledictus", Credence tried to reassure her. "You don't understand what I am saying. I am cursed, Credence. And not in the sense you think. Someone cursed me, and if I ever get a child, it could get the curse too. Even if my child is not cursed, her children will be, and everybody that comes after me. And you know why? It is totally stupid, you don't want to know it. But I have to tell you, because if I don't, I can't live with myself. I lied, I betrayed all the friends I once had, my family, so I could survive, in my home town. For money, for my own sake. Once I met a witch, and I needed food and... I pretended to be someone I was not, pretended to be helpless, so I could get her money. The witch found out, and she told me that everybody should see the monster I am, the snake which is myself. And now I am turning into a real snake, because I did bad things, some of them I won't tell you, because to talk about it makes it just worse. I am not like you, Credence. I deserve to be a monster, I deserved to suffer and you should go... You should leave me, now, before I hurt you, I betray you or worse. I should have told you before. I should have told you many times. You have your own destiny, your own fate, but you can fight against it. I can't. I don't want you to fail, after everything you have done. But if you stay with me any longer, you will fail, you will die, because a raven and a snake aren't supposed to be together", Malena said, wiping tears from her face, but she stood up resiliently from the dark corner. Credence had no idea what she wanted to do, but it probably was nothing good. "Malena. You're not going anywhere alone. I am not leaving you, no matter what you say, no matter what you did. I killed at least three people if not more and destroyed about twenty or thirty buildings. Your past does not define you. You said that there is always something better than death. I know what happens if you leave people alone, abandon them, in hope to make your own life better. If I leave you, you're almost dead. And who cares if we aren't supposed to be together? You saved my life, do you really think that I would leave you when you need me most? I love you Malena, and that won't change, even if you are a serial killer", Credence said, and in the second he whispered her name, she took his hand, and they both walked out of the shadow. Even though they had no idea what to do next, they would survive somehow, because they decided.
Secrets hurt more when you realized too late that you had them. Leta could not look back without thinking that she had done so many things wrong, too many lies, too many bad things she said. She especially regretted the things she said to Newt. Leta Lestrange had been in love with Newt Scamander since her sixth year. And she did not even realize it. Realize how much she had, and now, now that she saw him again, she realized that she should have loved him when she had the chance to. But instead of dong so, she had pushed him away, every word like a knife in her hands. As if Newt had not given her his everything, as if he had not deserved to be loved more than anybody else. But she had given her chance away, she told herself, every night, when she was crying, back-to-back with Theseus. But now, now, as Newt was really standing in front of her, she realized that she would never be able to love Theseus as much as she loved his brother. Newt didn't deserve her, he deserved someone that appreciated him, someone who would never break his heart, someone that did not value freedom over everything, even over friendship, someone who had not been scared of love for her whole life. Newt deserved someone who was not her. She had to do him this last favor, she had to help him hunt down Grindelwald, the only way to make up her sins, because in her heart, she still felt like a traitor. She would have betrayed him and Theseus and everybody around her, just to feel free. But there were two thoughts in her brain, two that tried to devour her. One was that she was a traitor and the other thought was that she could be free. Grindelwald would have understood her, someone who felt misunderstood. And her brain had realized that Grindelwald was trying to get the outcasts to join him, that this was manipulation, but still, if she had stopped crying, if she ran out of tears in the morning, she thought about her life as an acolyte. Traitor, it echoed back to her. One day, she would have to decide between betrayal and selflessly loving the brother of the person she was helplessly in love with. But Newt should be happy, was the third thought, the thought that built her up again, the only thing that made her run right now, the only thing that stopped her from breaking. Leta had been in Paris, every easter and stayed with Newt every Christmas. The memories would haunt her, even if she would get over it somehow. Leta wanted a new beginning, but she knew that what she wanted was not important anymore. Leta Lestrange had learned that you had to be selfless too, because if you are not, you lose what you want to have over everything else.
As Newt apparated into the arena, he heard someone else apparating too. It was Gellert Grindelwald, and in the second as he was apparating, someone else disapparated, followed by the words of Grindelwald: "You had one job, Krall, and that was not getting anyone killed before I arrive" He did not know where Leta ran, he just saw Queenie begging up to Grindelwald, next to Jacob. Something had happened to Jacob, he had been attacked, but why? Even though it hurt Newt, he had to fight Grindelwald first. A second later, Theseus stood next to him. They both did not question why the other was there. The only tthing Newt could do was stare at Jacob, who was bleeding. In his head, he went through every healing pracitice he knew. Nothing that could help him. But there had to be something that could help him. He realized that Tina was climbing down the arena, into the sand and hugged her crying sister, Leta was following her. And in all this mess, alone, no acolyte next to him, everybody disapparated, was standing Grindelwald, smiling like an angel. And then Newt realized, no other muggle except Jacob had been hurt, no muggleborn, no squib and all lions faded to light. Grindelwald had never planned on killing anyone except Jacob, it had all been a trap, to get Newt here. This was the first time in Newts life, where he really thought that life had no sense anymore and that it would not change anything if he gave up now. "Queenie? Anything? Do you really want to see your beloved muggle dying in front of you? I always thought of Jacob as a good human being, someone who really deserved to be respected by the wizarding community. He would be, if you just... If you would accept my favor. Of course, you would have to return something for it... Giving up your mind reading abilities", Gellert Grindelwald whispered, his victory in his voice, in the stone under his feet, as if Newt was not ready to fight him every second. But as Queenie was looking up to Grindelwald, Newt saw that she was broken. "I'll do whatever you want", she murmured. Theseus exchanged a look with him, they were both ready to attack Grindelwald. But the dark wizard told them, without moving his eyes from Queenie: "I have to save a life first, we can do your silly duel later" With only this one sentence, he jumped into the arena and landed right next to Jacob. With his strange looking wand, he touched Jacobs bleeding wounds, singing some song like sounding incantation. Newt almost wanted to jump up there too, but Theseus reminded him quietly that they should be prepared to face a dark wizard in the next second. He saw Tina gasping, as she saw the wand. "That's the...", but she suddenly went quiet, and stared at Newt for the next seconds. Newt had no problem with looking at Tina, she was a wonderful person, beautiful and, even though he would never be able to confess it to her, she was the most lovable person in his life. But the fear in her eyes made all the thoughts in his brain stop. Something was wrong. Something was different from in every other duel he had ever thought in. Theseus seemed a little worried too, he murmured in Newts direction: "It can't be... Listen to me, we can rock this duel, even though this is Grindelwald. We can win, no matter what. You've got your case? Good. I'll wait until Grindelwald healed the muggle, and then we confront him" Newt did not know if he should feel insulted, because one of his best friends just had been degraded to "the muggle" or happy that his brother trusted him. Think positive, he reminded himself. The dark wizard stood up, and tried to fix his hair. "Mr. Grindelwald, now that you are finished...", Theseus began, but he went quiet, as Queenie stared at him with an evil glance, telling him to shut up, while she touched her hand with her wand and pulled a silver strand out of it. It looked like she was trying to tear a memory out of it, but Newt knew that it were her abilities. A few months ago, he would have never believed that someone like Queenie could lose their abilities. But they were facing Grindelwald, and Grindelwald believed that everything was possible. As Queenie handed the silver strand into a phial, which Tina handed her, she quickly gave it to Grindelwald. A second there was only silence until Queenie looked around herself, raindrops had made her hair wet, but the tears in her eyes could not be covered by that. Her hands on her ears, as if the silence could kill her, as if she could protect herself from the pain, of losing something that has been with you your whole life, would not hurt her. Queenie Goldstein had built walls around her heart, one higher than the other, to help herself control it, the voices in her head. And everything she ever had, had now been taken from her. It began like it had begun last time, a part of Eulalies prophecy had been fulfilled, and now the rest would follow. One of them will lose everything to save another.
Newt had no strategy, except that his brother would distract Grindelwald. It was strange — even though he had not seen Theseus in a long time, they knew each other too good. Newt would survive, they would survive, because they had each other. And strangely, Newt felt thrown back into his time at Hogwarts, every Christmas eve, when Leta was crying over her brother, next to the Christmas tree, Newt hugged her and Theseus listened. Theseus had always been there for him, before he had wanted to be an auror. But maybe that was the reason why he had wanted to be one: he wanted to save those who needed him. He Newt Scamander had no doubt that Theseus could fight against the darkest wizard in history, no doubt that he would win. But as he looked at Grindelwalds wand again, the realization hit him like a lightning bolt, as Grindelwald was casting the first spell. It was the elder wand. The only wand that could not be beaten. For a moment, Newt looked around. There she was, Porpentina Goldstein. She was saving the dizzy Jacob from fiendfyre, comforting her sister and telling Leta that they would make it out alive. Tina gave everything she had, and so much more. She was his giver and in this strange moment, where he tried to protect himself from Grindelwalds spells and heard in his right ear his brothers curses, at this moment, he truly realized it. He loved Tina. And then she was shouting at him: "I'll get Jacob, Queenie and Leta out of here!" And in her eyes, he knew that there was not enough time to be awkward, he would have to focus on the duel, as fast as possible. He had to decide: Now or never. "I love you, Tina!", he screamed louder than he had ever screamed in his life. The whole world should know it. Her smile made his heart melt, before he heard her disapparate and faced Grindelwald again. Even if he would die, even if he failed, even he did everything he never wanted to do, even if Grindelwald was winning over them. Even if he would die today, or tomorrow would the world burn in flames and everybody would no longer exist, no matter what happened now... Tina also loved him. And that was everything he needed to fight. There were so many things he would have loved to do with her: he would have wanted to go to the cinema with her, teach her how to pet a niffler right, and he would have, over all, wanted to kiss her, do normal couple things. But they were both anything but normal and that made it so special. He would fight, fight for everything they had ever had. He would fight because Tina loved him back.