"Death is very real, and not all of us realise that. In fact, I don't think any of us truly can, not until it really is too late. I don't understand it, and I don't really want to. All I know is that a woman who I loved is no longer here, and that hurts. It hurts an awful lot.
"I thought for ages about what to say here, and I still don't really know whether I'm doing and saying the right things. I'm not going to stand here and tell you what a wonderful woman Joyce Summers is – and I do say 'is' and not 'was' – because you already know that, or you wouldn't be here. This is the woman who waited on me, and my friends, when I was too ill to get out of bed, just so that I would have company while being ill. This is the woman who fought against me so much, just to protect me from things I already knew."
Buffy paused and looked around the crowd of people in the church. She hadn't written a speech, because she knew she wouldn't remember it, or her cue cards would get put in the wrong order. Instead, she made it up on the spot, hoping that she could fit everything that she wanted to fit into it.
Angel couldn't be there, being day and inside a church, but she wanted to be selfish, and have him there anyway. It wasn't fair that the one person who could make all the pain go away couldn't be there for her when she needed him. He had held her and let her cry until there were no more tears to cry, but now, she had to remain strong. At least it was an afternoon service and not a morning one – it would soon be over, and he would be waiting for her in the graveyard where they had so often made out between the crypts.
She took a deep breath and began again, making sure to watch her words so that they made sense to people who knew nothing of her nightlife.
"You know, when I was 16, I died. I drowned when a guy knifed me and shoved me into a puddle – it wasn't very deep, but the blood loss made me too week to push myself up and out of it. I thought I understood what death meant then, and I've had a few more brushes with it since then. I became sick, and fainted in the middle of a cemetery at about midnight, I got into a fight with a girl who is like a twin sister to me, and she ended up falling off a building after trying to kill me. I was in hospital for a few days, and she is still in a coma. Each time, my friends brought me back, and my family was there to support me.
"I've been told before that my friends and my family is what separates me from other girls who have been in my situation. Every time I was in trouble at school, my mum picked up the pieces, and they all still loved me for who I am. My boyfriend (who couldn't be here today) and I have got into more than our fair share of struggles, and every time, we pick up the pieces and move on. Most girls who have problems at school have no one there for them to do that. They might have the occasional mentor, or teacher who really believes in them. I have one, and he is sitting right there, in the front row, ready to give me a huge hug when I go back to my seat.
"I'll never be able to hug my mother again, so do me a favour? Every one who can, give their mum a hug and a kiss on the cheek for me. Every time you see her, don't forget to hug her, reassure her that it doesn't matter how old you get, you will always be her baby. Tell your mothers you love them before you go to sleep, and before she says goodbye in the morning. Phone her at least once a week just to say 'hi, I'm still alive and kicking – how are you'. Make sure you never end a day on a fight – make sure she knows you still love her, no matter what you say that may seem contrary.
"When they are around, we take mothers for granted. We don't appreciate them, we don't realise just how much work they do for us. Please, please, don't make that mistake any longer, because once she's gone, it's too late to tell her, and she's never coming back.
"People say that our loved ones are always with us, and maybe, that is true on some levels, but on other level, I am never going to see my mummy again. That's why we have other people, friends, and surrogate family, and that id how I know that Joyce summers in not truly gone. We remember her, and we always will."
I'm going to leave this now, because I really like this chapter, and what it does. It brings an end to this story line, so for all future chapter, lets just assume that although the pain is still there (clearly) it isn't a main feature of the story. The important part is that now Joyce is out of the way!!
On another subject, what is done in American schools for thanksgiving – do you have a day off on the Thursday, or what? It's important because in the episodes, Dawn didn't exist for this timeframe, and I don't know what to do about her …