To do

Alternate Universe Rated: T

She couldn't believe she was doing this even as she strolled up the sidewalk to the blank faced building. "You have absolutely lost your mind Granger," she muttered to herself.

She rang the bell next to the plain white door and waited anxiously. "Name?" came a crackly voice over the intercom speaker.

"Beatrice Bumford," Hermione spoke into the intercom.

She heard the door click and pressed the handle, pushing the door inward. She was met with a plain, almost sterile, while entry room. "Ms. Bumford," came a voice through a tightly woven mesh screen built into the farthest wall of the room. "Please use the lift to your left. It will take you to the floor you are expected upon."

"Um… thank you," Hermione said softly.

"My pleasure," the voice said.

The doors to the lift opened with a ding and she stepped inside muttering to herself about this ridiculous idea. "Why do I let Ginny talk me into these things? I'm perfectly fine. I don't need her intervention."

The elevator came to a slow stop and the doors opened to beautifully furnished seating area. The tables were covered with dozens of photographs and fresh flower arrangements. Hermione stood still and waited to be invited into the room. She had been fore-warned that Madame Malfoy was rather particular and not to make assumptions about anything in her presence. "Ms. Granger, I presume?" came a gravelly but female voice from within the room. "Come in girl, come in, I'll not have to holding up the lift in such a fashion."

Hermione stepped forward and searched the room for the source of the voice. It came from a beautifully aged woman with long platinum blond hair and impeccably tailored clothing. "Madame Malfoy," she said softly. "Am I to answer to Ms. Granger or Ms. Bumford?"

The woman snorted. "Your name is Granger, is it not? Stupid girl. Why would you answer to anything other than your name?"

"Apologies madame," Hermione said bowing her head.

"You'll need a thicker spine if you are to stay with me and work as my assistant Ms. Granger. I already see that you are weak in the back-bone arena."

"I beg your pardon madame, but I disagree with you…"

"Silly girl that was not an observation meant for your denial or approval. Something else you need to learn immediately is that I am always right and your answer should always be 'Yes Madame Malfoy'."

Hermione gritted her teeth. How in the hell had she let Ginny talk her into this nonsense again? "Yes Madame Malfoy," she basically growled out at the woman.

"The disdain in your voice is obvious. Hold onto that, you'll need it before I'm done with you."

"Are you giving me the job Madame?"

"I'm giving you an interview."

"I thought this was the interview."

Madame snorted. "Of course not silly girl. Come here."

Hermione moved forward towards the chaise lounge that Madame Malfoy was seated upon. "Your interview is this 'To Do' list." She handed Hermione a piece of paper with three items written in a delicate script. "There are three items on this list that if completed to my satisfaction will earn you the job for the next ninety days."

Madame Malfoy glared at Hermione over the rim of her glasses. "Are you competent enough to complete these tasks or do you need to be excused with your tail tucked between your legs Ms. Granger?"

Hermione frowned. "I am perfectly competent Madame."

"I doubt it, but you have four hours and we will know one way or the other. That's all," Madame said dismissively.

Hermione had questions, but she realized it was impossible to ask them and not appear ignorant. She walked briskly back to the lift which was still standing open. Once she stepped through the doors they closed and she felt the lift lurch downward. "I'll take care of your bloody list," Hermione grumbled, "and I'll do a damn good job of it as well!"

Hermione chewed on her lower lip as she looked over the list. "But do I want to do this successfully? Damn Ginny and your bright ideas!"

The lift doors opened to the surprised face of a young man who bore a striking resemblance to Madame Malfoy. "Hello," he said with a wide grin. "And might you be the new head on the chopping block?"

"Pardon me?"

He chuckled. "Sorry, that was rude. I'm Draco Malfoy, and you are?"

"Hermione Granger."

"And are you in the midst of your interview with my mother?"

"Your mother?" Hermione asked aghast.

Draco chuckled again. "I know and my father is not Lucifer. It's a pleasure to meet you Ms. Granger. Good luck with your interview."

She eyed him warily. "Do you know what the interview is Mr. Malfoy?"

"Of course, it's the same interview for everyone. Complete the list and get the job. Somehow, I feel that you will complete the list in record time Ms. Granger. That is if you get off the lift before your time is up."

Hermione blushed a deep red. "I… well bloody hell. It was a pleasure Mr. Malfoy."

"See you soon Ms. Granger."

Hermione held the list in her hand and frowned. This was a joke. It had to be a joke. The quests for this list were not only impossible, but they were completely fictional. She turned back towards the blank faced building and pressed the bell as she had done before. "Name?"

"Beatrice Bumford," she said angrily.

The door clicked open and a chuckle of amusement was heard from the mesh screen on the furthest wall. "The lift please Ms. Granger."

Hermione was fit to be tied. How dare the Malfoy's make a fool of her in this manner! The lift doors opened as slowly as before, but Hermione didn't wait to be invited into the room this time. "What do you take me for Madame?" she growled at the blond-haired woman.

"Why Ms. Granger, have you completed the list already?" Madame said with a deep frown.

"The list is impossible to complete Madame, of which you are well aware. The tasks are based on fictional places and characters. If you only wanted to make a fool of me you could have just turned me away!"

A deep chuckle sounded near her and she furiously whipped her face to glare at the Malfoy heir. "And you!" she yelled pointing at him. "You knew that the list was full of impossible tasks! You are both conniving snakes to take advantage of people in this manner!"

Her chest heaved with the fury she was experiencing. "I told you she would be right back mother," Draco said his eyes never leaving Hermione's.

Madame Malfoy snorted. "She may have returned, but that doesn't mean she has passed the interview process Draco darling. What about the list is fictional Ms. Granger? Do you doubt my needs? Do you think me a simpering old fool?"

Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh no doubt you are the furthest from a fool madame. The list is entirely fictional and you are well aware."

"Pray, tell Ms. Granger. Enlighten this simpering old fool as to just why the list is fictional?" Madame Malfoy asked with a smirk.

Hermione sighed. "The first task is to purchase two vials of Doctor Jekyll's beauty serum from the local apothecary. If such a serum existed it would turn you into more of a monster than you already are and I don't believe the world is ready for such dramatics."

Madame Malfoy leaned forward from her place on the chaise lounge. "And the second task Ms. Granger?"

Hermione swallowed. "The… the second task is to gather the mail for Thornfield Hall from the post office in Eyre Valley. Thornfield Hall is the home of Mr. Rochester in the novel Jane Eyre and does not actually exist."

"And the third task Ms. Granger?" Draco said while standing from his seat and moving close to her.

"The third task is to purchase the book of Dickon's animals by Colin Craven."

"And why is that impossible Ms. Granger?" Draco asked sensually.

Hermione swallowed again, but kept Draco's gaze. "Colin Craven is the sickly boy in the novel The Secret Garden and Dickon is the local boy that befriends Mary on the Moors. Such a book does not exist."

Draco smiled at her. "Well done Ms. Granger."

"Well done indeed," Madame Malfoy said from directly beside her. Hermione had been so enthralled with Draco's stare that she hadn't noticed the woman move to stand near the couple. "You've passed the interview with flying colors. My last assistant took over an hour to solve the riddle of the list and you've done it in less than fifteen minutes."

"Five of which I held her occupied downstairs mother," Draco said with a grin.

"Ten minutes then," Madame Malfoy said with a wide smile. "The job is yours Ms. Granger, if you still want it after dealing with this old monster."

Hermione turned to face Madame Malfoy. "I… I'm…"

"Take the job Hermione," Draco said.

"You called me Hermione."

Draco smiled. "I did. I hope that's alright."

Hermione nodded. "I would love to take the position Madame Malfoy."

"Here's to a bright new future," Madame Malfoy said with a grin.

FIN