Bowling with the Cullens
OK!! I am so so so SO sorry!! Yes, I know you don't wanna read my lame excuses but most of them are pretty good excuses :) So Breaking Dawn came out so I was reading like a mad woman. And then my internet got cut off for about 3 weeks and then I didn't update because of Midnight Sun. And the I had to type up this whole big chapter and took so long. And I have all hard classes so I get like tons of homework every night so I had to do that before anything else. And sometimes I fell asleep before I could type so ya….sorry guys
Disclaimer: Nope, Twilight not mine…Wah!
Chapter 11
Previously on Bowling with the Cullen: "If they get to go, I wanna go too" Emmett whined childishly.
"I'll go with you." Jasper offered with a sly smile and jumped up.
"I'll join you, too" Edward said happily with a twinkle in his eyes, evidently listening to their thoughts.
(Emmett's POV)
Me and the other two excuses for men skipped to the restroom. I was the only one manly enough to sing 'The Restroom of Oz' and still look macho, so I did it.
"Man, what was that awful song?" Edward asked in his 'velvet voice', the one that somehow made all the ladies in our school sigh, when we came inside the restroom (A/N: it's just like the girl's, the only difference is that the guys' have only two stalls.And they have Urinals (the things were guys pee.)
"Why Eddie, it was 'The Restroom of Oz' song" I answered. "How can you have never heard that song? Bella should really get you in touch with all the hot new songs." He just rolled his eyes at me.
"My velvet voice 'somehow makes all the ladies sigh'?" Eddie asked with that abnormal crooked smile. Then he added, "don't call me Eddie."
"No, Eddie" I emphasized the nick name. "Your man-boobs do!"
His face became murderous; apparently I had hit a nerve. Maybe he was obese when he was younger, I though, I'll make him feel better. "I don't know why you're so mad, man-boobs are in! And apparently Bella likes them." He slowly walked towards me with an evil smile across his face. "Don't hurt me Eddie; Rose will kill you and your little Volvo!"
He lunged at me and I dodged quickly and easily, he jumped on my back and tried to strangle me.
"A fight, is t?" Jasper spoke for the first time -poor boy has no friends- and cocked an eyebrow. "We'll need the right music." Jasper proceeded to take his Ipod out of his pocket, put it as loud as it could and went to 'playlist' and picked the 'wrestling music'. Hard rock came pounding out of the small headphones. And he spoke again, "my money's on Edward."
Edward was still clinging to my throat, so I decided to teach puny little Eddie and Jazzy a lesson. I banged my back –where Edward was- against the closest wall over and over again until he gave up and let go.
"Who the man!? That's right! Me!" I cheered while I did my victory dance along with the beat of the music -which consisted of shaking my hips and throwing my arms around the air.
They looked at me as if I were crazy, which was preposterous- the only crazy one in our family was that freak we called Alice.
"You're a freak, too" Eddie-poo said and answered my thoughts. I could almost see him sticking his tongue out at me.
"You're just jealous I beat you" I snapped back, still doing my incredible dance. Then I felt terribly embarrassed. "Jazzy stop it, I'll stop my dance if you make me feel all embarrassed."
"My goal exactly" Jasper said. "Stop calling me Jazzy- only Alice can call me that."
"You mean the freak!?" I asked outraged, how dare she steal my nickname for him?
Instantly I knew it was a bad to choice to have said that. He tackled me to the ground and put me in a head-lock. Oh, crap, I thought as I wrestled him.
"Hey, how come you become fearful when Jasper attacks you yet feel nothing at all when I do it?" Edward whined- good thing Bella was patient.
Because you suck at fighting- especially wrestling as a matter of fact, I answered him in my thoughts as I struggled very hard to break free from Jasper's grasp.
"Take it back!" they both shouted at the same time in angry harmony.
"What back?" I answered faintly because of the lack of air.
"That I suck at fighting."
"That Alice is a freak."
But they're both true." I answered faintly, again with not much air to be able to speak coherently.
Jasper head-locked me even harder and Edward jumped in to join the fight. Eddie sat on my stomach and the urge to take it back was stronger than ever. MY struggles were useless –even with my super strength- it was useless to fight against two vampires with a grudge. So I faintly gave up and took it back, even though I still wasn't sure what I was taking back.
"Fine, I take it back."
"Ha! I knew he'd cave eventually." Jasper said triumphantly.
"Now, we'll teach you how to dance" Edward said. He took Jazzy's Ipod and put on 'Check Yes Juliet' by We the Kings and they both danced to the song as they sang to it. Soon after a while, I joined them and partied. It was a little chick song- like one Alice and Rose would love-, but I still could pull it off. I don't know about Eddie and Jazzy. They looked pretty gay- poor Bella and Alice, if only they knew…but at least Rose had a MAN.
Edward chuckled- did I miss something? But his mood quickly changed when we heard a faint bam.
"Bella just run into the stall door" Edward informed us franticly. "I must come to her aid!" He started to run past me and move towards the door, but I stuck my foot out. He tripped over it and rolled on the floor. Jazzy pinned him to the ground- so he would stay in our presence.
"But I MUST help Bella!"
"No you won't" Jazzy grunted.
"She'll be fine, a few more funny moments. What's the difference?" I…I just wish I could be there to laugh at my baby sister, I thought. Eddie struggled even harder at me thoughts.
"My beloved has tripped over a trash-can!" Eddie screamed all of a sudden. "Must…catch…Bella" he said and struggled more and attempted to crawl away. But we both sat on him and sang along to the next song in Jazzy's Ipod.
"She's fine, I bet the freak caught her" I answered and Jazzy smacked me upside the head. "Ouch, what was that for!?" He gave me a look and I remembered. "Oh yeah, I mean Alice."
Jazzy sent a calm wave through the restroom and Eddie seemed to stop his useless struggle.
"Will you stop calling me Eddie in your head!" Eddie- I mean Edward said. "And also stop calling Jasper 'Jazzy!'"
"Fine, whatever" I answered automatically. Fun-sucker, I accused him in my head.
"I am not a fun-sucker."
Yes, he is. He sucks the fun out of everything, I thought to myself. He's so annoying when he listens to you personal thoughts.
"Am not."
"Get out of my head you fun-sucking freak!" I screamed and held my head with me hands.
After a while of Jasper being quiet we felt a wave of excitement hit us. It only meant one thing- he came up with an evil plan.
"Nice idea, Jazzy" Edward said as he had obviously read his mind.
"I wanna know" I said.
"Well..." Jasper started to explain, "We have to leave our mark here, of course. My beautiful Alice-"
"Freak."
"You're the freak" he snapped back. "Anyways, she had a vision but didn't tell me what it was- she was feeling pretty excited about it, too. Well, she put cherry bombs and matches in my pockets 'for a special occasion', she said. My guess is that if we time it right, and put one or two cherry bombs in the toilets, it would be THE best prank that this bowling alley- not to mention the town- has ever seen!" We were all jumping from excitement by the time he was done with his explanation of our devious plan. I didn't know if it was Jasper's excitement wave or the plan. The only thing I knew was that this was going to be so entertaining- even better than trippy Bella; Edward growled menacingly at my last thought.
Since this was a mission of dire risks, we had to have cover names; I the responsibility to come up with those. It's very hard but I KNOW I did a great job.
"All you have to do is light them up, put them in the toilet, flush, and run like there's no tomorrow…at human pace" Mr. Moody (Jasper) explained professionally; we had done these pranks a million time. This one time we did it to one of the school's bathrooms and blamed it on Mike Newton, it was hilarious!
"Roger that, Mr. Moody" I answered.
"Mr. Moody."
"Yes, that's you code name" I answered- stating the obvious.
"But, Emmett-" Mr. Moody started again.
"Who is this Emmett you speak of? He sounds really cool and macho, but I am Muscle man." I answered. There were cameras everywhere; we couldn't risk to use our real names. Didn't he know this?
"Ha! Muscle Man?" Sugar Daddy (Eddie) chuckled. "More like Whipped Boy."
"Alice calls him Cuddle Monster." Mr. Moody offered.
"Or Dimples."
"Teddy Bear."
"Sexaholics Anonymous."
"Curly Sue."
"Oh, that one's my favorite" Sugar Daddy said.
"Really? I really preferred Dimples" Mr. Moody answered.
They're so evil, making up mean code names, and what's this Sexaholics anonymous thing?
"No! My code name is Muscle Man!" I screamed.
"Fine" Mr. Moody said and attempted to calm me down. He then stage whispered "Dimples."
"Curly Sue" Sugar Daddy also stage whispered. And then he added loudly, "I like my code names, 'Sugar Daddy'."
"How come ha gets Sugar Daddy and I get stuck with Mr. Moody?" He whined –that boy needs some help, his mood swings go wild these days.
"Because, you are moody!" Sugar Daddy answered. "And because I'm sweet."
"No," I answered baffled- does he not remember? "You're Sugar Daddy because of that time Rose dared you to chug 5 pounds of sugar."
"Shut up, Curly Sue!" Sugar Daddy snapped back and shrudded at the memory.
"Oh, yeah. I remember" Mr. Moody said. "You're right; Sugar Daddy is absolutely perfect for him, Dimples."
"Can we just move on to the mission" Sugar Daddy asked annoyed. We nodded our heads in each others direction and did as planned.
Mr. Moody was the look out- he made sure no one came in while we put the cherry bombs in the toilets. Sugar Daddy and I lit the shine red balls and dropped them in the toilets. Then, we flushed and waited. After the longest wait –about 5 seconds; I counted. Both toilets exploded, the water rushed out of the toilets and hit the ceiling. Everything was wet, the ceiling was dripping, and we had the best seat in the house!
The bombs had made a funny kaboom sound but we ignored it until Mr. Moody nervously screamed, "Dude, run!"
We run back to our bowling lane as we laughed hysterically with the manager right behind us. And we reached our family with. Bella had a confused yet horrified look on her face, Alice was smirking, Rose was somewhat amused but tried to hide it and Carlisle and Esme wore their poker faces; thinking of our punishment.
"You have done well, oh mighty Mr. Moody" Alice praised.
Ta-dah! How was it? Lol I know they kinda got sidetracked from the bowling game but I guess it's ok casue they were having fun. Did you guys like it??