Anyone who is interested: I think my coursework went fine, so now I'm doing a quick chapter before revising for my test in the morning, before sleeping. Again, will be short.

Dawn's POV

I never really thought she would be, you know, gone. It was always like, something's wrong. Where's mum? She'll know what to do, and how to do it and when to do it and all that stuff. Buffy doesn't seem to know what to do or how to even start. I've never even heard her cry about it, and I'm never really out of her sight for any long period of time – I think she thinks I would try something stupid.

Yeah, what would I do? Try to bring her back to life? Yeah right – willow might be starting to be all witchy, but she doesn't exactly do many spells and stuff – the hardest one I've heard her do was … actually, I don't think any of her spells have worked; at least none that I know of. That girl – Amy – she did a really cool one that made us all love Xander (I was already in love with him, so I wasn't really affected), but I don't know where she is any more.

Anyway, even if willow could actually use magic like she says she can, she's all wrapped up in Oz-land, feeling sad that my mum died! For God's sake – it was my mum that died, not everyone else's! Okay, Buffy's as well, but that's not the point right here and now. Willow and Xander seem to be taking this really to heart, but I don't understand why. It wasn't them who she sat by when they were sick, or let sleep in her bed after a nightmare, or was always there to just listen and not judge about anything. They both have their own mummies to do that for them, why do they want mine?

I think it's just because of Buffy. I mean, like wow, she's like the slayer. Oh yeah, coz that's so cool – I'm the slayer, and I'm so cool that I have a vampire boyfriend, and a special clique of friends and in jokes, and I don't have time for my little sister anymore, because I'm so much cooler than her. I don't think she even cares that mum left us. She really doesn't seem bothered by that fact the MUM IS DEAD.

I don't know what Giles or Angel or Oz think about anything even remotely do with mum's death. Giles is just too … well, English about it all! AN I'm English so don't say I'm being racist or anything stupid – just using the stereotype to my advantage. Angel is Angel! I never have a clue what he is thinking, and he always seems so depressed anyway, except when he's with Buffy.

I wonder if she knows that she sees a totally different side of him to everyone else?

Oz … well, he never really speaks. He and willow have conversations where willow will speak for ages, and oz will just nod his head at the end, and say in that really cool way of his "Yeah, I see." Or something like that anyway. He and Angel are so much alike, well except for the part where Angel is a vampire and oz is human. And the age difference. And oz plays in a band. And … well, okay, there's loads of things they aren't nearly the same as, but other than that, what's the diff? Exactly!

Giles and Buffy told me that the funeral isn't really a funeral … there's no body. It's more like a memorial service or something – is there really a difference between them?

I walk into the church with Buffy and Giles – I'm not sure if Buffy even cares about anything to do with mum any more, but she holds my hand anyway. I don't even know who initiated the contact either. In the last few days, Giles has become less hermit-like, and now I think he might feel like he does belong in out family, instead of just as watcher capacity or something. Like I said, he is too English.

We walk up to the first set of seats – when I ask, Giles tells me that they're called pews, and I wonder why. Then I wonder why on earth I am worried about such a stupid thing. Then I realise that it's so I don't have to think about what today actually means, and why we're here. Willow, ox and Xander turn up and sit in the row behind us – they aren't allowed in the front, because that's reserved for my dad and grandparents, if they show up. I doubt it – ever since the divorce, dad's parents have had like no contact with us, and mum's parents died a few years after I was born, within a few weeks of each other I think.

Angel would also have been allowed to sit with us, but it's daylight – even if we did manage to get a late afternoon service – and also we're in a church, so he probably wouldn't feel comfortable. I'm sure he would be here if there was sewer access though – he really will do anything for Buffy, you know?

Everyone else starts to turn up, and I realise that I know, maybe a quarter of the people here; a quick look at Buffy's face tells me that she is thinking about the same thing as me. Well, maybe Giles can be the grown up at the end, and get rid of everyone – I didn't really want there to be a wake, and Buffy actually listened to me for once. I think, if it wasn't for Angel, she might not have made it through the week quite as she has – they're always together; they just never let the other walk around without them. I wouldn't be surprised if they started to go to the bathroom together now – that's how inseparable they are. It's pretty funny really.

I'm jerked back to reality, and I realise that because of where I chose to sit, I can't really see much. I decide it doesn't really matter, because I don't really want to remember any of this anyway.

Buffy goes up to speak. It sounds so … I dunno? Heartfelt. I never saw her write this. Oh. She didn't. This is all spur of the moment stuff. Wow.

Maybe she does care.

Suddenly, it's the end, and I really don't fancy going back 'home'. It doesn't really feel like home anymore, and I don't think Buffy will be home for ages. She says I can stay with Giles, and he quickly agrees, and takes me back to his place.

I think I'll have quite a nice time, considering the circumstances. He wont treat me like a really small child, because he treats me the same way as everyone else – a silly child who knows nothing of the English language or anything else for that matter.

I'll be fine.

As I go, I see Buffy sitting on the steps, and when she doesn't think I can still see her, I see her wipe her cheek with a sleeve.

Maybe she does care

Okay, it ended up longer than I thought it would … a nice surprise for you.