And another chapter! I'm trying so hard to push through this writer's block and it's actually so much harder than I remember, but I wanted to post this chapter because I did write it, and it is not my worst piece, I take pride in all of the work I put out there, so enjoy!

Fourteen

Ziva tapped Tony's shoulder lightly. "Let me make you something to eat." She said.

Tony sighed. "I don't really wanna eat Zi." He told her. "I just don't feel like it."

Ziva looked down at him, concern all over her face. "You have to eat, Tony." She said softly.

Tony shrugged, staying silent.

Ziva brought her hand up to run through his hair. "Why don't you want to eat?" She asked.

Tony didn't respond.

Ziva watched him carefully. She hated that Tony was going through this, it physically hurt her to see him in so much pain. She kissed his forehead softly.

"Let me help you Tony." She urged.

Tony looked up at her. "Can you just rub some aloe onto the bruises?" He asked.

Ziva nodded. "Of course I can. But you have to promise me you will eat something after, understood?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Alright."

"Let me go get the aloe." Ziva said.

Tony sat up long enough for her to get off the couch before he took off his shirt carefully and laid down on his stomach.

Ziva walked down the hall to the bathroom quickly to take the aloe off of its shelf. She grabbed the towel she had used to dry off the night before and returned to Tony. She sat down on the edge of the coffee table.

"Are you ready?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah."

Ziva squeezed some of the gel onto her hands and rubbed them together, warming them up a little.

"They look a bit better. Not quite as dark." Ziva said.

Tony nodded. "That's good."

"I'm going to touch you now, alright?" Ziva asked.

She watched as Tony tensed up and tried to force himself to relax before opening his eyes to look at her. "Yes." He said quietly.

Ziva nodded and began running her fingertips over the bruise in the middle of his back. She worked the aloe into it for a moment before sliding her hands up to the bruises on his neck and shoulders.

"I don't want to be scared to have you touch me." Tony said suddenly.

Ziva nodded and kept rubbing gently. "What do you mean?" She asked.

Tony shrugged. "I don't know, I guess… I just know with rape victims sometimes skin to skin con…" He trailed off.

Ziva stopped what she was doing. "Tony?" She asked.

Tony felt tears stinging at his eyes and Ziva watched as he started to shake. She moved off of the coffee table to sit down on the floor beside Tony's head on the couch.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

The tears in his eyes spilled over. "That… that's the first time I've said it since the hospital… I was… I was raped. I'm a rape victim." He whispered.

Ziva nodded silently. She wiped the aloe on her hands off on the towel before running her hand through Tony's hair. She kissed his forehead softly. He laid on the couch for a moment, silent before he broke into loud, heart-wrenching sobs in front of Ziva.

Ziva felt her own tears rolling down her cheeks as she managed to situate herself back on the couch, holding Tony against her tightly as he cried. She sat with him, running her hand through his hair and wiping her own tears away occasionally as she whispered – nothing in particular – to him.

They could both feel Tony's breathing inch nearer and nearer to hyperventilating. Tony couldn't make himself calm down. Ziva wiped a fresh stream of tears from her cheeks as she started to sing to him, words that she had known growing up.

Tony tried to take deep breaths as he heard Ziva start to sing. He tried to focus on the sound of her voice, and the words she was saying, even if it was Hebrew. He strained to listen to her words. Ziva noticed Tony's body starting to relax as she sang, and after fifteen more minutes of random songs and blessings, Tony's breathing had calmed down and he was relaxed against her body.

Tony opened his mouth to say something, and Ziva cut him off.

"Not yet, it is okay." She told him softly. "Just rest. Breathe and let your body and mind calm down."

Tony nodded silently and laid his head back down. His eyes closed, and he let himself relax, breathing in the scent that could only be described as Ziva.

Ziva kissed his forehead softly as she ran her hands over his back.

"What were you singing?" Tony asked.

Ziva smiled slightly. "My mother used to sing to me when I was little. I did not even know I knew the words until I started singing." She told him.

Tony smiled. "You have a beautiful voice."

"Thank you."

Tony nodded silently.

Ziva looked down at him, looking for changes in his facial expressions.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ziva asked.

Tony sighed. "I'm a rape victim." He whispered.

Ziva ran her hand through his hair. "You are a rape survivor Tony. You survived, that is what matters most."

Tony nodded. "I said the same thing to so many people in Baltimore, and here actually… and now I really don't know if I was helping or hurting them."

"I think that you were trying to do your best to provide some comfort to them, and that is what would have helped them most." Ziva said quietly.

"Maybe."

"What were you going to say when I was rubbing your back?" Ziva asked. "You said you did not want to be scared of having me touch you."

Tony nodded. "I just know that sometimes rape victims don't want to be touched, and they kind of detach themselves from their bodies, and I don't want that to happen, and I know that sometimes skin to skin contact helps ground people."

Ziva nodded. "I can do that if you are comfortable with it."

Tony wrapped his arm around Ziva's waist. "Thank you."

"You do not have to push yourself though Tony. It is okay to take some time and be scared." Ziva told him.

Tony nodded. "I know that, I just don't want to be scared of you, I know I don't have to be, and I want to keep it that way."

"Okay, but you are in complete control. I will not do anything you are not comfortable with." Ziva said.

Tony looked up at her, smiling a bit. "I know you won't. I trust you."

Ziva smiled and kissed his forehead. "Okay."

"Can you try the aloe again please?" Tony asked.

Ziva nodded. "Of course."

Tony sat up long enough to free Ziva's arm from underneath him, and he laid back down. Ziva sat back on the corner of the coffee table and squeezed some aloe into the palm of her hand. She rubbed her hands together to warm it up before going back to work on Tony's shoulders and neck.

Tony laid quietly, wincing when Ziva touched the bruise on the back of his neck.

"This one still hurts more than the others?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah."

"How do your legs and your hips feel?" Ziva asked.

Toy shrugged. "Not too bad, the thighs hurt more than my calves." He told her.

Ziva nodded. "That is understandable."

Tony sighed. "How does my face look?" Tony asked.

"Like it hurts." Ziva told him. "At least you can open both of your eyes today."

Tony looked up at her from his spot on the couch. "The headache is going down a bit too."

Ziva looked away from the bruise she was working on. She smiled when she saw Tony watching her. "I love your eyes." She told him. "They are very expressive."

Tony smiled a bit. "So are yours."

Ziva smiled. "Do you want the aloe on your legs and your chest too?" She asked.

Tony thought for a moment. "Yeah, it's probably a good idea."

Ziva nodded. "Okay, just wait for your back to dry for a minute. I'd like to keep this couch presentable, for a little bit longer than the last one. Please don't kill someone and make me blow it up." She joked lightly.

Tony laughed a bit. "I'll do my best."

Ziva shook her head. "I cannot believe I just made that joke."

Tony laughed. "It helps doesn't it?"

Ziva nodded. "Yes, it does."

Tony smiled softly and sat up. "Do you think I'm dry enough for your couch?"

Ziva laughed and reached out to feel his back. "You are dry."

Tony winced when he laid down on his back.

"Are you okay?" Ziva asked.

Tony nodded slowly. "I think so. It just hurts to put pressure on them."

Ziva nodded. "Of course. Are you ready for me to do your chest?" she asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah."

Ziva picked up the aloe bottle and squeezed some of the gel into her hands. "Where does it hurt most?"

Tony laid quietly for a moment. "I guess my shoulders."

"Can I sit beside you?" Ziva asked.

Tony nodded and slid over as much as he could.

Ziva sat down on the edge of the couch beside him. "Look at me." She said softly.

Tony's eyes opened, and he looked up at her.

Ziva smiled softly and held her hands up. "It's just me." She said softly.

Tony nodded. "Okay."

Ziva smiled softly and pressed her fingertips to his shoulders lightly, working her way over the bruises. Tony watched the concentrated look on her face. She was trying to be quick, but she also looked terrified of hurting him or pressing too hard.

Ziva worked her way down Tony's chest to the bruises just above his hips.

"Can I do your hips?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "Yeah."

Ziva slowly worked her way under the waistband of his sweatpants, careful not to go too far or press too hard on the bruises.

"I don't think I've ever said it, but I'm sorry." Tony said as he watched Ziva.

Ziva's head snapped up. "For what, Tony? You have not done anything wrong." She told him firmly.

Tony smiled a bit. "I didn't do anything wrong, but I did break a promise."

Ziva replaced the waistband of Tony's pants and grabbed the towel to wipe her hands on once again. "What promise did you break? To who?" She asked.

"To you." Tony told her.

"What promise did you break to me?" Ziva asked.

"I missed your naturalization ceremony." Tony said.

Ziva laughed lightly. "That's it?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "It was important to you."

Ziva leaned down to kiss him softly. "You were doing something important too. I understood."

Tony rested one hand on Ziva's side. "I wanted to be there." He told her.

Ziva smiled. "And here I thought the government was crazy for letting me in." She said, laughing lightly.

"You know I was just joking right?" Tony asked softly.

Ziva nodded. "I know Tony."

Tony smiled a bit, rubbing small circles on her hip with his thumb. "Okay, good."

"Can I make you something to eat now?" Ziva asked.

Tony sighed. "You're not going to stop asking until I say yes are you?" He asked.

Ziva rested her hand on his chest, watching his expression closely. "Why don't you want to eat?" She asked softly.

Tony shrugged. "I don't know… I just don't feel like it." He told her.

"At the risk of sounding like a therapist, can I tell you something?" Ziva asked as she laid down beside Tony.

Tony nodded. "Yeah."

Ziva propped herself up on her elbow and rested her head in her hand and ran her other hand over Tony's chest lightly.

"I think that you are still in shock, from what happened to you, which is perfectly understandable, but you still have to make sure that your body stays healthy while you heal, because it will make healing your mind much easier." Ziva told him softly.

Tony looked up at her. "Does it though?" He asked.

Ziva nodded. "It really does Tony." She said softly. "I know it feels like something small, that really does not mean much right now, but if you let yourself ignore your body's basic needs, you're going to start doing the same thing in your head, and your mental health is going to go down the pipe." She told him.

"Down the drain." Tony corrected, smiling a little.

Ziva chuckled lightly. "Down the drain." She repeated. "But does that make sense?" She asked.

Tony sighed. "I guess it does. I know it does, I just… I don't know how to explain it. Like I know I should take care of myself, I just don't really want to."

Ziva ran her hand across his chest to meet his hand. She tangled their fingers together and kissed his forehead.

"I want to." She told him. "I want to help you, however you need me to, whether it is rubbing your back, or reminding you to eat, or holding you after a nightmare. I want to be here with you Tony. For you."

"Okay." Tony said. He raised his free hand to wipe tears from his eyes. "I feel kind of pathetic." He told Ziva. "I've done more crying in the past two days than I did in the entire decade before this."

Ziva smiled softly. "It is okay to cry Tony. It is very therapeutic."

Tony nodded, sniffling. "Okay." He took a deep breath, trying to center himself. "I'm okay."

Ziva squeezed his hand. "I love you Tony, that is why I'm here. Nothing you could do, or say, or go through is going to change that. I will always be here." She said softly, hoping to offer even a sliver of comfort to him.

"I know you will. And I will too, for you I mean. I love you too." Tony said softly.

Ziva smiled. "What do you want to eat? I think I have a few bagels if you want one."

Tony nodded. "Bagels sound good."

Ziva's smile grew a bit bigger. "Toasted?" She asked.

Tony nodded. "With cream cheese please."

Ziva slid off the couch and stood up straight. "I will be right back." She said before walking into the kitchen to prepare the bagels.