So sorry to keep you guys waiting for an update, but real life got in the way big time. Not sure how often I will be able to update, but hopefully I'll get some inspiration, time and motivation in the next couple of days.
Hope you'll enjoy the next chapter :)
Chapter 6 Explanation
Dana Scully's apartment
Friday 17 March 2000
10:45 PM
'Would you like something to drink?' she knew she was stalling, but she sure could use a little bit more time before she explained everything to Mulder.
'Sure, some ice tea would be nice,' Mulder answered.
Scully went to the kitchen and came back with an ice tea for Mulder and a glass of water for herself.
'Thank you for the way you acted with Katie and for trying to make her feel at ease a little bit. I guess now it's time to tell you what happened,' Scully started after she sat down.
'The phone call I got this afternoon at the office was the headmistress of Katie's school. Her father had shown up and wanted to take her with him. He's not allowed to do that, he's not allowed to see her without supervision, and only for a few hours a week. But he was threatening and being abusive towards the staff. He must have heard that Melinda, that's Katie's mum, was going away for the weekend and figured that he could use that to take Katie. The headmistress luckily knew that I was going to look after Katie for the weekend and called me.
'When I arrived at the school Nick was yelling and screaming and being a nuisance. When he saw me, he saw red and before I knew it he was yelling at me, calling me names, but worse of all, he managed to hit me before I was able to restrain him.
'Luckily the security guard had called the police and they took him away to the precinct, after getting an account of the events from everyone involved.'
Mulder had been sipping his drink and stayed silent during her speech, he knew better than to interrupt her, but now he felt he needed to say something.
'I hope they are keeping him over the weekend. I'd better not run into him somewhere, I don't think I would be able to control myself. Fucking bastard.'
'Yeah, they're keeping him. I have to go to the precinct on Monday for my statement, as does the headmistress. Hopefully they will limit his visitation rights with Katie even more now, maybe even take them away. That little girl has been through so much because of him.'
He nodded. 'So this is how you've been spending you're free time the last couple of months. Being a big sister to a beautiful 6 year old. God, I feel like such an ass now. I just thought you didn't want to spend time with me anymore, that you had a boyfriend and that's who you were spending all your time with...'
He even managed to slightly color as he said those words.
'I feel like I owe you an explanation Mulder. After everything I went through with my infertility and with Emily I thought really hard about my desire to have children. I'd never really thought about having children. It was something I wanted in the future, but not right now. And then I found out I didn't have a choice anymore, I couldn't, no can't, have children.
'And that was really hard. And the whole fiasco with trying to adopt Emily, my own daughter for crying aloud, made me think about whether or not I wanted to go through that again, only to be rejected again. I decided that I did want the chance to have children in my life, so I started to explore the opportunities. I found the Big Sister, Little Sister program and entered it. This way I can give one little girl the guidance and love she needs. In January I had my interview and shortly after that I got to meet Katie and ever since we have been spending every weekend I'm in town together. She's very shy and afraid of men in general, because of her father. But slowly she's opening up to me. I look forward to every Saturday I get to spend with her. She is so easy to love.'
Tears started to form in Scully's eyes. It was still very hard for her to talk about her infertility, but they were also tears for all the pain Katie had been through in her short life.
'I never meant to keep this from you, I was going to tell you, but first I had to built a relationship with Katie and get her to trust me. Then I would introduce her slowly to other people in my life. She's already met my mom, but that was easy. Everyone who has ever met her loves her. You were going to be next, but because you're a man, I wasn't sure how I was going to do that. '
'I can understand why you would want to protect Katie and built a relationship with her first, and why you were hesitant about introducing me to her, but you could have told me about her Scully. I would have understood and I would have been happy for you. Happy that you've found something that means this much to you. Happy that you've found something that makes you happy. Spending time with her does make you happy, doesn't it?'
'Yes, it does, it really does,' Scully answered. 'As for why I didn't tell you... I just needed something away from work, from the X files and from you. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I just needed to be Dana again. Not Agent Scully, Doctor Scully or Scully, just Dana. I needed to know that she still exists. Ever since I started working on the X files I lost so much, and not only my sister or my ability to have my own children, but also myself. I lost the person I was before I started working with you. I wanted to see if she still somewhere inside me.'
Scully saw that Mulder wanted to say something, but before he could she continued.
'And before you say anything, I don't blame anything on you. I made the choice to work with you and to keep working with you, even when things got hard. I know you probably feel responsible for everything that has happened to me, but you're not. They are, the men who took me, the men who killed Melissa, not you.'
'I think I understand. At least a little bit. I can't say that it doesn't hurt, to know that you've kept something from me, but I understand you're reasons. I am glad that you've thought about introducing me to Katie and that you wouldn't have kept this from me forever. And somethings make more sense now. The way you looked forward to the weekends and how grumpy you got when we had to go out of town on a case on a weekend. And there I was, thinking it was because you were having to cancel a date with your boyfriend, when in fact, all you wanted was to spent time with Katie. I kinda feel bad thinking that now...'
'I'm sorry too, for letting you think I had a boyfriend. But it was easier that way. And I kinda liked that it made you act a little bit jealous.'
'I wasn't jealous!'
'Yes you were, and that's okay. It shows that you care about me. I would have been jealous too if I thought you were having a girlfriend.'
They were entering dangerous water now, the conversation was going into a direction neither of them was ready for. Mulder decided that now would be a good time to say his goodbyes and leave.
'It's getting late, I should leave. Let you get some sleep. I'm sure you'll have a very enthusiastic 6 year old by your bed early tomorrow.'
With that he stood up and went to the door. Scully followed him, so she could lock the door behind him.
'I hope you two have a lovely day tomorrow and I'll see you Monday at work.'
He was almost out the door before Scully said his name. He turned around to look at her and saw she was struggling with something. It was as if she wasn't sure about what she was about to do or say. She was suddenly standing very close to him, almost touching him. Before he could figure out what all this meant he felt her soft lips on his cheek and the corner of his mouth.
'Thank you, thank you for understanding, this means a lot to me,' she softly said after she had stepped back from him. All he could do was smile a small smile at her and say goodnight.
All Scully could think after she closed the door was "oh my God, I kissed him!". And with that thought she went to bed. It took her quite some time to fall asleep, but knowing that she would indeed have a very enthusiastic 6 year old by her bed the next day was giving her a bit more motivation to try to sleep, instead of dreaming about the fact that she kissed her partner. So instead of daydreaming about it, her subconsciousness made up for that and let her really dream about it.
Reviews are greatly appreciated, it lets me know that you are still interested in this story. I have some ideas what to do in the next chapters (including a visit to the Zoo), but if any of you have suggestions I'm more than happy to see if I can incorporate them in the story.