Rule Number II: Be careful when you're going to the reality because it sucks!

As soon as pink haired girl saw Hijikata, Kagura and Shinpachi were there, she dropped the plate with muffins on the floor and walked towards them with an astonished expression on her face. There was a moment where none of them didn't say anything and shared empty looks with each other.

"Three…two... one…" Gintoki counted down with an exasperated voice and he covered his ears with his hands and then suddenly, a high pitched scream filled out the entire room.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S HIJIKATA, KAGURA, AND SHINPACHI I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T!" Pink haired girl who was the actual writer of this pretty random story was making weird hand gestures and bouncing like she couldn't handle seeing some of her favorite characters in the same room with herself. Of course she knew they were going to come since she was the fucking writer but she had to admit she wasn't prepared for this. "MY BABIES!" she cried and hugged them all three at the same time.

"Calm down, please, writer-san." said Shinpachi and the writer let them go. "You seem to know a lot about us but unfortunately we don't know anything about you. So can you introduce yourself, please?" He was trying his best not to sound rude as the kind person he was while Kagura and Gintoki were picking their noses.

"Glasses is right. And add why you're here and have done all these too, while you're at it." Hijikata was annoyed by this girl. Like making all these seem like she kidnapped Yorozuya wasn't enough, she was acting like their childhood friend all of a sudden. Also didn't she have anything better to do than writing this shitty fanfiction?

"No, I didn't have anything better than writing this shitty fanfiction, Hijikata and yes, I can read your mind. You can call me Mizu, it's the Japanese translation of my real name, according to Google Translate. I tried taking Japanese course but damn uni canceled the class. Anyway, I'm -unfortunately- from the real world. I like sweets, animals, cold weathers, and torturing myself. Nice to meet you!" Mizu bowed down as the fucking weaboo trash she was.

"One of those traits was not like the others." Shinpachi was playing his straight man role again but Mizu ignored him just like a professional Gintama character and continued "I made it look like I kidnapped Gİn-chan because I needed to gather all of you guys here for one purpose." She stopped talking for a moment, waiting for all the characters to appreciate her words and show signs of amazement or at least curiosity but all that happened was Gintoki finally finding a booger in his nose and wiping it on Kagura's hair. "I gathered you here because… Ya all sons of bitches are going to the reality!"

Silence filled the room like a drunkard's pee filled their pants, comprising every person in the place and slowing the seconds down to drag on like hours. Or at least that was the effect that Mizu wanted to force on others who seem to not be interested in any of these. Gintoki was the one who broke the silence. "No, thanks."

"I'll pass." Kagura added.

"Shut up, you're going to the reality if I say so! I'm the one in control here, I'm the writer, damn it!" Mizu laughed wickedly before she talked again. However her laugh wasn't as professional as Kira's evil laugh in Death Note. "It's not like you have any other choice anyway."

"What do you want us to do in the reality, Mizu-san?" asked Shinpachi, sounding a little worried as he didn't like this idea much like the rest of the characters.

"Now that, Patsuan, is pretty simple. You're going to assassinate Sorachi Hideaki!" Mizu explained and looked at each of the characters evilly, waiting for a response. Shinpachi was the first to react.

"I'm sorry, Mizu-san. My ears must be going bad because I just thought you said you want us to assassinate our creator. Silly me." He laughed in denial while he looked at the others, expecting them to back him up. He checked around to see a banner that says all of these were just a prank but there was nothing like a banner nor a mischief expression on any one of them.

"You didn't hear it wrong, Shinpachi. Your mission is to assassinate Sorachi-sensei or you can never become fiction again, you'll be stuck in reality which really sucks. Why the hell do you think I'm writing this fanfiction, for fuck's sake? To avoid reality and the void in my soul! Because reality, my children, is a terrible and boring thing that doesn't even make any sense. Yeah, that's how reality is! You don't want to be stuck there, do you? Also I'm so done with that gorilla of a writer and a year worth of pain. As soon as you kill that bastard, I'll be the god damn manga-ka of Gintama!"

Hijikata was looking at Mizu like she had gone mental while Gintoki was still picking his nose. Eventually Gintoki was the one who spoke. "This weird girl is making sense. Since when we had a good time, relaxing at Yorozuya, huh? All that gorilla ever did was changing Gintama's genre from comedy to angst! Do you know how many chapters has it been since I drank strawberry milk? I stopped counting after one-hundred and thirty six! I missed so many issues of Jump too. It's bad, it's really bad. Uggghhhh I'm with you, weirdy, let's assassinate that bastard!"

Mizu was about to smile proudly at Gintoki when Hijikata spoke. "Oi, oi, wait a minute! Do you actually think that changing our creator is a good idea? Are you stupid or something? What makes you think this girl will be a better writer than our gorilla? She is just a weird girl who writes fanfiction, damn it!"

"I'll make you own your own mayonnaise factory, Hijikata." said Mizu, temptingly.

"I was just saying that this girl is a total genius with a great potential to be a manga-ka. When are we going?" Hijikata looked around to see a portal or something that will open to reality.

"HE CHANGED HIS MIND WAY TOO QUICKLY!" Shinpachi yelled.

"I want sukonbu packages worth 50000 yen-aru!"

"I'll get you guys all you want once you assassinate Sorachi-sensei." Assured Mizu and smiled at all of them. "Though there is a ritual you must do to go to reality." Her voice was deadly serious now. "This is a ritual that passed down by my ancestors and by their ancestors. It involves very dangerous acts that must be done very carefully. Kagura, you must play Sougo's maid for three days. Shinpachi, you must exhibit your kinky manga collection in public. As for Hijikata and Gin-chan, they will pose together for a yaoi magazine's cover!"

An evil aura started to spread out from all of them and then they got closer to Mizu. They all acted synchronously and smiled like a psychopath as they took out their weapons and pointed those at the writer. "Oooorrr on a second thought, I can just send you to reality with my writer power." offered Mizu, trying not to sound terrified.

"Yeah, you do that." said all of them at the same time. Mizu was a bit disappointed that her sadistic plan didn't work but she decided to send them anyway. She looked at the ceiling as if she could see beyond and yelled, "SO LET THE SORACHI ASSASSINATION ARC BEGIN!"

Thanks anyone who follows or comments this weird story. It means a lot! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧