"Thank you for doing this, again," Will said to the kind elderly woman who lived in the apartment next door. "She should sleep the whole time. And I won't be gone too long. Are you sure it's alright? I can stay and wait until morning if you don't want to –"
"Will, darling, shut up," the woman said patting the top of his hand. "I can handle babysitting a sleeping child while I watch my stories."
"Right, sorry," Will said with red cheeks and a small smile. "I'll owe you one."
"Keep bringing me my mail and we'll be fine. If you want to leave the fool who's always yelling at your sweet, handsome face, well, I wouldn't complain either."
Will nodded and let out a surprised chuckle. He poked his head in Ari's room once more, seeing her spread out across the bed, and headed for the door.
Paul, Isak, Marlena, and John waited a few steps outside the apartment. It was well past nine in the evening but no one bothered with the time.
"Are you sure it's okay to go to your office, now?" Will asked Isak as he stood close to Paul's side. "Is anyone going to even be there?"
"Raring, if no one is there when I say, they don't have job."
"Oh," Will blinked a few times. "Right, I knew that."
"Are you ready?" Paul brushed his fingertips down Will's wrist. He waited for Will to entwine their fingers, needing Will to decide for himself.
Will let out a deep exhale, looking up at the hazy, cloud-filled night sky.
Everyone believed this trip would prove what was going on with him. Why he spent the past few months miserable, screaming on the inside for it all to end. Why he did everything Sonny wanted. Why he couldn't argue. Why he couldn't leave Sonny at all.
If they were right, he'd find out why he became a shell of his former self.
"Yeah," Will whispered, curling his fingers between Paul's. "Yeah, let's go."
Isak led them past several security checkpoints. Flashed his ID and waved them through doors and into a laboratory.
"Why didn't I get to see this before?" Will wondered, taking in the sterile environment.
Everything was crisp, clean, and surrounded by glass. Tables covered in an ordered type of chaos, all sorts of machines tucked away in corners. Glass beakers and scales spread about, it all gave Will an ominous feelings.
He didn't know if the chill up his spine was nerves or from the rapid drop in temperature.
"Why would you? I only show places to impress you," Isak admitted with an easy smile. He wandered over to the only office with a light on.
"When were you in this building?" John asked as they all gathered around a large table and sat down.
"A few days ago," Will admitted, drumming his hands on the metal tabletop. "I was still working on the article and he kept coming up with excuses to see me. I saw his office and the café on the first floor."
"Why does he even have a lab?" Paul asked, dragging a stool to sit close to Will.
"Side part of his business," Will said, unfurling his right hand so Paul could hold it. "Research into the same disease his grandfather had."
"Lucky we are researching neurological diseases," a severe-looking middle-aged woman in a white lab coat said walking over to them. She too had a Swedish accent though not as pronounced as Isak's. "Which one of you is William?"
Will lifted his free hand in the air, frowning a bit when the woman marched over to him.
"This is Dr. Karlsson," Isak introduced, placing his hands on Will's shoulders. "Doctor, meet William Horton."
The woman gave Isak a sharp, knowing look and rolled her eyes when Isak smiled shamelessly.
"Yes, nice to meet you," Dr. Karlsson said with a nod in everyone's direction. She glanced at Isak and barked, "bring me the things off my desk."
Isak told her something in Swedish that caused her to glare at him but he followed her directions without further complaints.
When he was inside her office, she revealed, "I've known him since he was a boy. He's always enjoyed riling people up."
She adjusted a pair of wire-rimmed glasses and held Will's gaze, "now, what exactly did you inject into yourself?"
"What do you mean?" Will asked, sitting up straighter and clutching Paul's hand tight.
Isak returned with a file and a small box. Dr. Karlsson pulled a piece of paper out of the file. It was regular lined paper ripped from a spiral-bound notebook. The edges were frayed, shedding.
"Do you recognize this?" Dr. Karlsson asked, dangling the paper in front of Will.
Will pulled the paper out of her hand, examining it. He did recognize it. He remembered lying in bed with Paul, taking turns reading from a journal, Rolf's journal. He knew the scribbled writing and haunting words even if he hadn't seen it since he gave it to the hospital. It was the same journal he gave to the hospital to recreate the serum for his memories.
A serum he later stole from Kayla's office and convinced Paul to inject in him.
"Oh my god," Will gasped, the paper falling from his hands. "Where did you get this?"
"Someone brought it to us," the woman opened the small box and produced four glass vials of an obnoxiously colored liquid with labels on them. "These two are identical to the formula on the paper."
She set two vials with a blue label on the table.
"This," she grabbed a vial with a red label, "is the serum we were given. And this," she showed an orange labeled vial, "is what we reproduced using it as a model."
She kept the blue labels separate from the red and orange.
"These two are different from these two," her hand hovered over both sections. "Both activate various functions of the memory. However, they're similar but different serums."
"How can that be?" Marlena wondered, forehead scrunched tight.
"Memories aren't stored in one specific part of the brain. They're all over, hippocampus, amygdala, brain stem, and so on. Both of these serums target a specific type of memory. Episodic memories which are experiences and specific events. On first glance, the two serums are the same and they are similar. One, though, was super concentrated and laced with something else.
"Now, which serum do you think you took?"
"Actually…" Will shared a small glance with Paul before saying, "I think I took both."
"What?" the woman asked, surprised. "I requested records from the hospital. They said they only administered one dose and destroyed the rest."
"Yeah," Will frown, looking at the table and avoiding eye contact. "I stole some from my aunt's office and took another dose."
"Why would you do that?"
"I didn't get any results from the first dose and I'm impatient."
"Well, no, I wouldn't expect one dose would do much. You needed a second dose of the same serum. Unfortunately, I suspect you took the newer, concentrated serum."
"What was it laced with?" Marlena asked, holding tight to John's hand.
"Scopolamine," the woman answered. "It's common in Alzheimer's research and to even treat low amounts of motion sickness. We use it in our research here, incidentally, which is how we knew to look for it. Higher doses have tendencies to take away free will. Well, there's some controversy on that but it's hard to dispute it after this. I'll have to do some research of my own with William, here, but I'm confident. The serum was a concentrated dose, it took time to take effect. A few memories here and there, a little loss of control to counter. When you regained all your memories, William, is when you would have been more susceptible to suggestion."
"What about the nosebleeds?" John asked, glancing over at Will's blank expression.
"The body's visceral reaction while fighting off the tendrils of control overwhelming it. But, I suspect a physiological reason as well."
The room fell into a sudden, heavy silence. All eyes on Will, waiting for him to say something, anything.
Paul kept a steady grip on Will's hand, rubbing his thumb along Will's pulse point.
"I don't understand," Will said, voice small and low.
"What don't you understand?" Paul asked, scooting so close their thighs brushed.
"Why would anyone make a new serum? Why would they want to give it to me?"
"I'm pretty sure I know the answer to that," Paul said, spinning Will's stool around so they were face-to-face. He swallowed at the sight of Will's wide, trusting eyes.
Paul could never understand how someone who claimed to love Will would ever cause so much harm.
"Remember how I told you Dad and I investigated the past few months of your life?"
Will nodded.
"We were looking at your financial records," Paul said with a grimace at Will's flinch. "Yours and Sonny's. You've been paying off a really large credit card bill of Sonny's. We tracked down what he bought and it was a cash advance to an offshore bank account. A bank account in the name of a former hospital employee. One who worked on the original serum."
Will didn't say anything, didn't even blink. Just looked at Paul with a blank, pale face.
"Will?" Paul asked, eyes sweeping over Will's face. "Do you understand what I said?"
Will nodded but didn't do anything else. He still hadn't blinked either.
"Will?"
Will squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his lips together. He knew everyone was watching him. It felt like everyone was always watching him now.
Somedays he wanted so badly to go back to his simple life in Memphis. Where his world was a mentally unstable – yet kind – woman and an Elvis impersonator.
As that wasn't possible, Will could do nothing but accept his life and try to move on. No matter how difficult it felt. Because Will could only handle so much. He could only put up with so much and deal with so much before he cracked entirely.
Will was very close to that edge.
Will opened his eyes and took several deep breaths.
"So, what you're telling me is I made you inject me with something that took away my free will and Sonny made me pay for it?"
Paul gave Will a mixture of a smile and a frown and nodded.
"Right," Will said before pulling away from Paul.
He disentangled their hands and smashed his forehead into the table with a loud thunk.
No one reacted for a few seconds, frozen in disbelief and concern. Then Will smacked his head on the metal tabletop over and over without stopping.
"Will," Paul put his arms around Will's waist, wincing with each loud, echoing smash of Will's head. "Stop it. No, stop it."
Will smacked his forehead into the table mumbling a combination of, "stupid, stupid, stupid," and "make it go away".
John and Isak both helped Paul pull Will farther from the table.
Will stumbled away from all three of them, back against a wall. Cornered and vicious like a wild animal.
"You said this wasn't my fault," Will told Paul with accusing eyes and a worrying red mark on his forehead. "You said none of this was my fault and it was. I stole the serum and I made you use it on me."
"We didn't know anyone tampered with it. You thought you were taking something safe," Paul argued, slowly walking toward Will with his hands in the air.
"But it wasn't! It wasn't and you told me not to and I never listen to you. I never listened to anyone until I took that stupid serum and now I can't stop listening. It's my fault and I'm stupid and I want it to go away. Make it go away."
"Hey, hey," Paul reached Will and grabbed both of his trembling hands. "Yeah, you're not good at following directions. You probably never learned how to color inside the lines at school."
Paul waited a beat to see if Will would react, frowning when he didn't.
"That's one of the things I love about you most. You're surprising and stubborn and ridiculous. And this isn't your fault. Yes, you shouldn't steal medical supplies when you don't know what they are. But, you thought it was something safe. You took it out of your aunt's office. You had no way of knowing there would have been any change to the serum. This isn't your fault."
"He's right, kid," John said, standing next to Paul. "This isn't anyone's fault but Sonny's. He instigated this whole thing, played up the need for you to remember things about your old life with him. He knew what he gave you and he knew there were changes in your behavior and he didn't say anything. In fact, he made it worse. You told us he didn't want you going to the doctor. Well, a doctor could have figured out what was wrong with you."
"How did Sonny even get the serum formula? How did you?" Will asked, giving Isak a strange look.
"Sonny," Isak admitted, hands in his pockets. "We have meeting on Friday. Sonny said he had big important formula to change lives. I thought he made it up to look good on first day. But, doctor's here, realized truth."
"How did you know it had to do with Will?" Marlena wondered as she and Dr. Karlsson stood to the side.
Isak shrugged.
"I read Will almost died and came back with no memories. Now he has memories. Not hard to put together. No idea Sonny get things, though."
"Sonny knew about the formula," Paul said. "He must have gotten access to it or just asked whoever he hired to give him copies of everything."
"This is from Rolf's journal," Will pointed out, grabbing the sheet of paper in front of him. "Why would he have that? Why would he even want it?"
"He wanted your memories back," Paul pointed out. "When you took the serum, he seemed pretty damn certain everything was going to come back to you. He must have arranged for a second serum by then."
"But why would he – why would he want – I don't understand."
"You're never going to, sweetheart," Marlena told him. "Not until you talk to Sonny about it all."
"Okay," Will nodded. "Okay."
He took a few moments, nodding his head and seeming to talk to himself. Then, he looked between Isak and Dr. Karlsson.
"So, what happens now? Am I stuck like this forever?"
Isak gestured toward the woman and took a step back with his hands up.
"Whatever she says, I'll pay."
Dr. Karlsson rolled her eyes before saying, "we're working on it. I'd like some blood samples and, at least, an angiogram. But, I'm confident we'll find something to counteract your symptoms and get you back to normal."
"Oh," Will blinked several times before sticking out his arm. "Okay."
"I don't think she meant right now," Paul said but wasn't surprised when Isak gave the woman a harsh look and she started gathering supplies.
Will gave several vials of blood while Marlena agreed to arrange for the woman to have access to equipment at the hospital.
Within the next few days, Will would undergo a series of tests and procedures while the scientists at Isak's company worked around the clock to find some way of neutralizing the serum. Literally around the clock, Isak was barking orders in Swedish into his phone despite the late hour.
An hour later, everyone walked out of the building except Isak and Dr. Karlsson. Isak insisted on hovering while the rest of the research team arrived. Assuring Will over and over he only employed the best and they would fix everything.
"How are you feeling, kid?" John asked once they were back in Paul's vehicle.
It took Will a few moments to respond. The entire day had been a whirlwind. One disaster after another and he was tired. So tired. The information on the serum only gave him more questions instead of answers.
If he wanted to know the whole story, he'd have to go straight to the source.
"I wanna talk to Sonny," Will stated as he settled into the leather seat. "Right now."
"I don't know if that's a good idea," Marlena said in a gentle tone.
She turned in her seat to face Will. When they got outside, Paul tossed John his keys. There was no way Paul could focus on driving with Will the way he was. Paul couldn't leave Will's side and Marlena couldn't deny how much it warmed her heart. After so many months of hating Will's decision, ignoring his obvious pain, ignoring so much that was happening to Will, she adored seeing Paul and Will together now. The way they always should have been.
"I think you need at least a few hours of rest before you confront him. Before we all confront him."
There was no way Marlena could let Sonny get away with hurting her Will. She had her own making up to do for abandoning Will when he needed her most. But, Sonny had even more to answer for than her.
"No," Will said, firm and steady. "Now. It has to be now."
Paul had a hard time keeping his hands to himself. He'd spent so long thinking Will didn't want him anymore, too long. Now, Will was here and hurting. But, Paul stayed firm in his resolve to let everything develop at Will's pace, at Will's insistence.
Everything needed to be Will's choice.
"Are you sure?" Paul asked, hand hovering over Will's but not touching.
"Yes," Will looked at Paul, eyes alight with something Paul hadn't seen all day. A fire behind those bright blue eyes Paul hadn't seen in a long time, too long. "I am so sick and tired of never getting to do what I want and people making choices for me. Not anymore, not ever again. I want to talk to him now. I want to, me."
Will locked their fingers together without breaking eye contact.
Paul flashed Will a proud smile before kissing the top of his hand.
"Whatever you want."
John grabbed his phone, holding the steering wheel with one hand. He dialed a number and held the phone to his ear.
"Victor, it's me. We need to talk to Sonny. What do you mean he's not there? I told you to keep an eye on him. Yes, I can take that tone with you. Well, where the hell did he go? Great, just great."
John tossed his phone in a cup holder and gripped the wheel tight, putting his foot down on the gas.
"What's wrong?" Paul asked, eyes refusing to stray from Will. "Where's Sonny?"
"Victor said he was on his way home."
Paul barred his teeth when he saw Will recoil.
Will didn't say anything the rest of the car ride home. He enjoyed the feel of Paul's warm hand in his. Relished the way their fingers fit perfectly together. Savored the ease Paul's presence gave him, wanted to forget everything and tell John to keep driving. Drive out of Salem, out of Illinois, as far away as they could possibly get. Wanted it to be Will and Paul, the old days where they'd only get out of bed to eat before tumbling back into each other's arms.
Will knew he couldn't.
When he didn't have his memories, Will could afford to be irresponsible. No one expected much out of him back then. But, Will decided he needed his memories. That he'd do whatever it took to get them and he was stupid.
He was so stupid.
He didn't care what anyone said it was his fault.
It was his fault.
If he never stole the serum none of this would have ever happened.
He'd still be with Paul.
He wouldn't have put them both through months of torment.
His daughter wouldn't hate him and love him in equal measures.
Will was stupid.
So, so, so stupid.
He was so stupid and he hated Sonny.
He hated him.
John turned into the parking lot of Will's apartment complex. He pulled into a spot just outside Will's front door. A few seconds after the car turned off, Sonny's silhouette appeared on the sidewalk.
No one did anything for a few moments. They all sat in the car watching Sonny walk by, absorbed in his phone.
Paul unbuckled his seatbelt, shaking with rage. Trying to decide which body part he was going to rip off of Sonny first but Will was faster.
Will didn't think, didn't plan. He reacted.
Pushed the button on his seatbelt, opened the car door, and tumbled out into the warm summer air.
When he reached Sonny, Will let out a guttural, inhuman growl.
Paul, Marlena, and John's shocked cries nothing but background noise as Will tackled Sonny to the cement with all his strength.