Chapter 4: Lie Here Next to Me

Rey elected to sleep in the captain's quarters of the Falcon that night, rather than in her own room in Theed Palace. Entombed in darkness, she watched as the final shadows of day danced along the filmsy curtains draped across the porthole windows. No one came in and bothered her, not even Chewie, as if the rest of the Resistance could sense that the Last Jedi needed to be left alone.

It was just after dusk, and Rey was just beginning to drift off to sleep, when she heard the gangplank lower and footsteps enter the hold. "Who... who is it?" Her throat was raw from weeping.

The door to the captain's quarters creaked open. "It's me. I... just came to do some night repairs."

His impossibly blue eyes appeared equally as wet, and she got a clear view of his blond curls as he refused to look at her.

Rey wiped at her eyes and nodded slowly. "O...OK. Don't let me disturb you."

"I won't." The reply was sharp, and Rey felt as though she had been stabbed with a lightsaber. She sank back into the pillows and listened to the sounds of the ship as Matt went about his work. She inherently knew what he was working on - every exhaust pipe, every cable, every compressor - and for how long. After an hour or more, Matt returned.

"I'm done. I'll let you get your sleep." He still refused to meet her eyes.

"Matthew! Wait," Rey called out, chastising herself for how desperate she sounded, although the tone in her voice seemed to finally make him acknowledge her presence. She could feel his gaze on her as she sank down onto the edge of the bed, patted the spot beside her.

"Would you do something for me? Would you mind just... lying here next to me?" She blushed rosy pink. "No... no need to go further." She kicked herself, silently berating herself for that last comment, though why she could not articulate.

Matt's eyes were wide, gleaming in the moonlight, but he acquiesced to her request, as he lowered himself down onto the mattress beside her. For a long period, Matt and Rey rested side-by-side, staring at the low ceiling, not speaking. The silence was finally broken by Rey trying - and failing - to stifle a sob.

"I'll... I'll go," Matt offered, and he sounded deeply uncomfortable.

"No!" Rey whimpered, shaking her head and blinking back tears. "I don't want you to!" Desperate for some human connection, she drew herself into his side, and sagged with relief slightly when she felt Matt scoop one arm around her. She wept into his shirtfront.

In that moment, Matt shifted, turning his body into hers to hold her better. Rey felt... something brush up against the inside of her thigh. It was long... and hard and stiff.

Her breath hitched, and the intake could be heard throughout the room. Matt froze, and two pairs of irises - one blue and one brown - locked. Jedi and technician gazed into each other's eyes.

Rey visibly gulped. She wasn't quite sure what made her do it, but suddenly, she was mouthing her lips along Matt's neck, quickly finding his pulse point and suckling; she felt it accelerate under her tongue.

Unconsciously, she felt Matt's arms wind about her tighter. The Force sang through her, as she admitted to herself that she liked how he was holding her. Matt's giant paws of hands were sending tickling tremors up and down her spine, as he slowly began to press her deep into the mattress. Suddenly feeling bold, feeling like a Jedi, Rey's palms found Matt's chest and she slammed him none too gently onto his back, so hard that the headboard rattled, as she swung one leg across his hips and moved to straddle him. Her lips did not move from his neck, and she found herself guiding Matt's giant hands to her breasts, placing them there and teaching him where to squeeze, what she liked. As Matt touched her, palmed her through her wrap, Rey threw back her head and moaned, rolling her hips into Matt's swelling erection insistently.

"Un... undress me," she commanded in a breathless gasp. Matt knew her well enough to obey, as he carefully pushed the elastic of her drawstring pants down past her hips, all the way down her thighs. Rey's fingers worked blindly, but deftly, as she worked to unclasp Matt's belt and throw down his own trousers. She felt her fingers brush a long, slimy thing and she fought past her own embarrassment as she clasped Matt between his legs. Recalling what to do from gossip she had overheard over drinks in Nimma Outpost, Rey furiously ran her hand over the foreskin, up and down, the tip reddening and engorging in her grasp. She began peppering her lips all along Matt's face, everywhere except (strangely) his lips, gasping for air. Lining up the giant thing against her slick, wet folds, she pushed Matt inside of her, impaling herself on his manliness.

She squirmed in discomfort at first, whimpering plaintively, and Matt halted his ministrations, waiting for her to be comfortable and to set the pace. Once pleasure had replaced initial pain, Rey began to tentatively rock her hips, bouncing up and down on her partner, so that her breasts jiggled and glistened in the moonlight. Below their undulating bodies, the tiny bed creaked and swayed in protest.

"Uh! Uh! Ohhhhhh... Guhhhhh... Uhhhhhhh..." Rey's groans were long and pathetic, but to Matt, they were the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, and it egged him on as he pounded up into the beautiful woman strewn across him. He matched Rey thrust for thrust until finally, she flung back her skull heavenward and cried out:

"MATTHEW!" She exploded around him and his name on her lips made Matt come undone, spilling his seed inside of her with a grunt. Rey collapsed on top of him, utterly spent, and she moved no more. Clutching her sweaty skin close, lips in her long, brown hair, Matt fell into a peaceful sleep.

The sun was streaming through the frayed curtains, as Rey woke up naked, and alone in the large bed. Glancing about her and finding Matt gone, she felt a twinge of sadness course through her. The events of the previous night blasted through her mind, and she flushed with shame, but only at herself. Did she regret what had happened last night? It frightened her a little that she couldn't immediately say Yes.

Dressing herself, Rey marched down the still-lowered gangplank to find the hangar bay teeming like a hive of bees. She was barely out of the ship when she ran into Finn.

"Finn, what's happening?" she asked her friend.

"Commander's orders. All able-bodied men are to depart in X-wings and embark on scouting missions for new recruits!"

Rey scowled in disgust at the sexist directive passed down on high from Poe. The memory of the encounter in his office made her squirm even more in revulsion. She was a pilot, too, and a damned good one! Why couldn't she go?

"Even the technicians are being asked to fly..." Finn was saying.

Rey started, fear in her eyes. "Matt. Where is he?"

She sensed Finn recognizing the concern in her features and in her voice, but noted how he chose to say nothing. "Other end of the bay. I saw him prepping an X-wing for a pre-flight check."

Rey thanked her friend and ran to the end of the hangar bay. She found Matt hunched over the base of an X-wing, his back to her. She noted appreciatively the way his back muscles rippled as he worked. She approached tentatively. "Hey."

Matt turned, freezing a little when he saw her. "Hey," he said slowly.

They stood there in awkward silence for a moment, periodically glancing at each other and then away again, unsure what to say. Rey finally spoke first.

"I'm sorry."

Matt blinked, leaned back a little, and her heart broke at the wariness in his eyes. He looked petrified over what she might utter next. "What for?"

"For... not telling you about my Force Bond. With Kylo Ren. We... we have been able to see each other, be in each other's presence across lightyears, hear each other's thoughts, ever since Starkiller."

Matt wanted to ask if Rey was in love with Kylo Ren, but fearing the answer, he held his tongue. "Anything else?" The query came out harsher than he meant it to, and Rey noticed. Lip quivering, she shook her head.

"No." She shifted as if to turn around, but barely even began the rotation when she remembered. "Wait, yes. You have to know that I never suggested any mission like the one Poe described to you. I would never put you in danger like that, or ask that of you. If something happened to you, I couldn't... live with myself." She felt her cheeks burn. Another thought was given voice. "And last night - I don't regret it." And she meant it, as evidenced by how her face flushed even more.

Matt silently took this in, nodding in acceptance. "Well... thank you. And I forgive you. For the other stuff." He sighed. "Look, if I don't make it back..."

"Stop," Rey shook her head.

"Just in case I don't come back alive..."

"No, Matthew, I don't even want to discuss it," Rey laid a finger against his lips.

"But I -"

Impulsively, Rey stood on her tiptoes and kissed him right on the lips. She held the kiss for a moment, her hands lightly framing his face, until - shaken by her own boldness and the torrent of other feelings swirling around inside her - she broke away. "You're not going to die. I forbid it." She kissed him again, more gently this time, a brief but firm peck. "All right?"

Matt was gazing at Rey as if he had never seen her before. Something cloudy had hooded over his eyes as he looked at her, and it made Rey's heartbeat quicken. Was it possible...?

"ALL PILOTS TO YOUR FIGHTERS!" an automated voice boomed. Rey sighed. It was now or never; she might never get another chance to know. "Matthew..." she sighed. "If there's something you want to tell me... tell me now before you regret it." She eyed him expectantly, as Matt seemed to be trying to get his throat to work.

"I..."

Rey leaned forward expectantly, waiting on baited breath for him to say the words. If he confessed having feelings for her... then she would give herself to him, she decided. A good and decent man who would humbly support her and take care of her. Give her belonging to the family she had always wanted.

But nothing else could pass from Matt's lips. Rey turned sadly away...