Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^
Well, yesterday sucked. I was stuck with Wendy for nearly three hours. Dear lord, the horror. The insane beauty designed horror! It got so bad I tried to break out of the room and she had to use her rings to restrain me so she could continue. Each look was finished with her taking a photo before cleaning me up and starting over with a new look. I hated every second of it. At least her commentary was okay. Heck, if it wasn't our chit-chat I'd have lost my mind, it was a pleasant distraction none the less. But at least when it was done, it was done, until the day of the party which is any day now. I mean that I have literally lost track of time here and have no clue when this damn party is happening. Now that would've been the worst part, but then later in the day Bowser snatched me away from the kids and brought me to the throne room.
There he stood me on a very tiny pedestal then had me hold a large and rather heavy egg in each hand. He wouldn't tell me why just said not to put them down till he told me I was done. He just sat there and watched while tending to some minor administrative work. This was confusing and easy at first. But after some time, the weight of the eggs began to wear on me. My arms took a long time to get so weak, Bowser's eyes on me the entire time, and then it happened, but not how I figured it would. A servant Koopa, who had been the King's cup-bearer and was silent the whole time, suddenly sneezed surprisingly loud. The sound was so sudden that not only did I get spooked and lose the eggs, but Bowser ends up choking on his drink when he gasped. I fell over now unable to keep standing and full of guilt over the eggs that had shattered. But that changed to confusion as the "eggs" were painted stone.
Bowser, upon seeing the array of worried expressions my face went through, finally told me it was all just a means of payback for something I did earlier. I was too confused to be mad at him for it at the time, but whatever, it doesn't matter. It's not like I'm planning to get back him later. Now that would be silly of me. Heheheh. At least today is nice so far. As the norm, I'm taking care of Jr. and helping him out with some of his homework. Being a Prince doesn't exempt him from schooling and it's annoying paperwork. But we're not alone.
Roy has taken the time to join us, though not as interested in helping Jr. as I am. He's more content with sitting with me on the floor and holding me close with my back to his chest, allowing him access for some easy to get nuzzles that annoy Jr to no end. Though there is a thought that worries me. Eventually, I'll have to go find Morton and see if he'll do as he promised. I want to trust him with doing it on his own, what with cuddles being on the line and he loves cuddles, but it wouldn't hurt to be safe than sorry. I don't want to make trouble for anyone, but this needs to be taken care of before it gets worse.
"Mama."
"Yes, sweetie?"
"I need help with question sixteen."
"What's the question?"
"How much wood could a Chargin' Chuck chuck. If a Chargin' Chuck could chuck wood?"
Roy and I just look at him funny.
"Is that really the question, squirt?"
"Even if it's not, I believe the answer would be as much wood as a Chargin' Chuck could chuck if a Chargin' Chuck could chuck wood."
Jr. just snickers.
"Silly Mama."
"Just tell her the real question, brat."
"Be nice, Roy. Or I won't request that 'us time' from Bowser."
"Wait, ya didn't ask him yet? I thought you did that already."
"I was going to, but then I didn't get the chance and it slipped my mind."
"Not cool, sugar."
"Hey, I'm gonna ask him. Just give me time."
"Mama...What's 'us time'?"
Oh boy, this is going to be iffy.
"I'll tell you, but first you tell me the real question."
"Okay. Question sixteen...Are Rexes dragons or dinosaurs?"
I smile at this, it's something I've studied for myself.
"Ah, that's a good one. Despite living notably in Dinosaur Land among other places, Rexes are dinosaur-like dragons. They're kind of like opposite Yoshies, which are dragon-like dinosaurs. But oddly enough, the scientific name for the Yoshi species is T. Yoshisaur Munchakoopa, yet they are not part of the Koopa species. At least, they haven't been for a very long time when they branched out into their own evolution genus. But you can still see their former Koopa roots on their backs, those tiny shells have fused to their bodies and are slowly getting smaller till one day they won't have them at all."
"Whoa! That's confusing."
"Geez, sweetheart. How do ya know all that?"
"What can I say? I like to study all sorts of things."
"Heh. You can be so cute when you're nerdy."
Roy playfully squeezes my waist and I giggle till Jr. clears his throat to get my attention.
"Now it's your turn, Mama. What is 'us time'?"
I mentally grimace just thinking of how I'm suppose to say this without sounding creepy or stupid.
"Me and her are gonna head out to spend some alone time together. Ain't that right, sugar~?"
It doesn't help that Roy further instigates/perpetuates this by kissing his way up my neck and ends nipping at my ear, making me shiver very much so to Jr.'s annoyed displeasure.
"Roy, don't be so crude about it. It's just an outing as friends. It's not a big deal."
That has Roy looking at me funny. Like what he just heard was different than what he knew/expected.
"So you two aren't...?"
"No, sweetie, it's not a date."
"Really? *gasp* Then can I go with you, Mama?"
"That's up to your father, sweetie."
Now Roy is pouting as he whispers in my ear.
"What are ya doin', sugar? It's supposed to be just us."
"It's fine. Don't work yourself up over nothing."
"I need more help, Mama."
"Sure, sweetie. Come sit with me and I'll help."
Jr. happily hops away from his desk and plants himself squarely on my lap to Roy's annoyance, but Roy's growing scowl can do nothing to Jr.'s cheeky grin as he innocently holds his book open to me.
"See? These are confusing."
"Hmmm...Are all these zoology based today?"
"Uh-huh."
"Then this is going to be easy as pie."
"Mmmm...Pie."
"Dang, now I'm cravin' pie."
"I think there might be some in the kitchen. Not sure what flavor though."
"Can we stop for a snack break Mama? Pretty please?"
"Fine, but after one more question."
"Yahoo! Okay, um, how does a Cobrat become a Tryclyde?"
"A very hard question, as those snakes live in Subcon and that is a land not easy to get to, so study on them has been very rare. I would guess, like any hydra, the Cobrat at some point was cut at the neck and the other two sprouted from the wound."
Jr. writes my response down before putting the book on the floor and getting off me.
"Yay! Pie time!"
He heads for the door but stops when Roy and I haven't moved.
"Aren't you coming, Mama?"
I shake my head.
"I'm not hungry. I'm just going to look further into your book and have the answers ready for when you come back."
"You're going to do my work for me? *excited gasp* Best Mama ever!"
I giggle at this silly boy.
"I did not say I'd do it for you. Just have the answers ready in case you need them."
"Ah man. Roy? You coming?"
"Nah. I'm good."
"But I thought you wanted pie too?"
"I'm too comfortable. *nuzzle* Bring me back somethin' tasty."
Jr. glares.
"Get it yourself! And stop being weird with Mama!"
"I'm not being weird, squirt!"
"Yes, you are!"
"Roy, go with Jr. please."
Roy pouts at my request as I nonchalantly begin to read Jr.'s book.
"Sugar?"
"Don't make him do things for you when you can do them yourself."
"But..."
"It's fine. Big boys can do their own work. I'll be here when you return."
With my nose firmly planted in the book, Roy huffs out his nose and reluctantly gets up.
"Ya better be here when I get back."
Whether he means that to sound like a command or not, I don't know, I just roll my eyes and continue reading.
"Like I have a choice."
He doesn't seem to like my tone as he shoves my head down into the book before storming out of the room, leaving Jr. and me with mixed confusion.
"Why'd he do that, Mama?"
"Don't know. Why not ask him?"
Jr. follows Roy and now I'm alone with just the book to occupy me. I get the feeling it's going to be one of those days when things make no sense. At least the book can't act odd or be frazzled like people do. I don't get people sometimes. Probably my fault, what with being a loner and all. Interactions with others are almost all done on instinct. My brain feels things out and figures how others want me to respond. It works but I kind of hate it. Mainly because when my own emotions take hold of my own personality it negates my autopilot and I come off differently. It doesn't help when around multiple people either. It's one of my weaknesses, much like heights, ladders, and bridges. I just don't trust them. I don't know why; I just don't.
"Huh? How are Birdos prehistoric birds? They look nothing like any bird ever. Heck, they're closer to Yoshies than birds. They should be considered dinosaur or dinosaur-like if anything. Oooh. Maw-Ray are massive eels that, while whale sized as is, if able to live uneventful lives can become Mega Unagi. Mega Unagi are even more gigantic versions of Maw-Rays, they are very dangerous and can destroy everything they attack, such as Brick Blocks and Question Blocks. There is no way to defeat a Mega Unagi. Wow...That's scary."
"Do you know that you're talking to yourself?"
I look away from the book to see Larry in the open doorway. I guess the boys didn't bother shutting the door when they left.
"What's up, Larry?"
He looks around.
"You're alone?"
"Jr. and Roy were here. But they went to get a snack."
"Huh...So you can spend time with me then?"
"As long as we stay in this room, then yes."
He cheers and with no warning, he jumps on my back, knocking me face first into the floor.
"Larry?!"
"I want to practice my skills and not go out to the barn. So giddy up, horsy."
I peel myself off the floor and kneel as he situates himself better. When ready to ride, he jabs his heels into my sides and I yelp into a deep snarl that has him concerned.
"Um...Please giddy up?"
I grumble a sigh before moving to be on my hands and knees.
"You're not going to have me jump through hoops, are you?"
He smiles, happy to hear I might be willing to do this.
"Nope. I just want to practice giving direction. If I can move you, then I can better my ability on horseback."
"Fine. Just don't kick me or pull my hair hard. That hurts."
"Okay."
He hugs my head and I smile.
"It's a good thing Jr.'s room is so big."
"Yeah. Plenty of space to move around in."
"With your help, I'll be ready for the reining contest in no time."
Reining is a riding competition for horses where the riders guide the horses through a precise pattern of circles, spins, and stops. All work is done at the lope (a slow, relaxed version of the horse gait more commonly known worldwide as the canter), or the gallop (the fastest of the horse gaits).
Originating from working cattle, reining is often described as a form of dressage riding, as it requires the horse to be responsive and in tune with its rider, whose aids should not be easily seen, and judges the horse on its ability to perform a set pattern of movements. The horse should be willingly guided or controlled with little or no apparent resistance and dictated to completely. A horse that pins his ears, conveying a threat to his rider, refuses to go forward, runs sideways, bounces his rear, wrings his tail in irritation or displays an overall poor attitude is not being guided willingly, and is judged accordingly.
The reining pattern includes an average of eight to twelve movements which must be executed by the horse. Patterns require the following movements:
Circles: the horse must perform large, fast circles at a near-gallop and smaller, slow circles at a lope. They should be perfectly round, with the rider dictating the pace of the horse. There should be an easily seen change of speed as the rider transitions from the large, fast to the small, slow circles. Most circles incorporate changes of direction that require a flying change of lead.
Flying lead change: the horse changes its leading front and hind legs at the lope mid-stride, during the suspension phase of the gait. The horse should not break gait nor change speed. While completing a change at speed can improve one's score, precision is the most important factor in judging: A horse taking more than one stride to complete the change, or a horse that changes early, late, or that changes only the front feet and not the hind feet will be penalized.
Rundown: the horse gallops or "runs" along the long side of the arena, at least 20 feet (6 m) from the fence or rail. A rundown is a required movement prior to a sliding stop and a rollback to the designated direction (either towards the judge or towards the nearest wall depending on the pattern).
Sliding Stop: the horse accelerates to a gallop and then suddenly comes to a complete halt, planting its hind feet in the footing and allowing its hind feet to slide several feet while continuing to let its front feet "walk" forward. The back should be raised upward and hindquarters come well underneath. A particularly powerful stop may depend on arena conditions, produce flying dirt and a cloud of dust. The movement should finish in a straight line, and the horse's position should not change. This movement is a crowd favorite, along with spins.
Back or Backup: the horse backs up quickly for at least 10 feet (3 m). The horse must back in a perfectly straight line, stop when asked and hesitate a moment before the next movement. It is judged on how quick, smooth and straight the line is.
Rollback: the horse immediately, without hesitation, performs a 180-degree turn after halting from a sliding stop, and immediately goes forward again into a lope. The horse must turn on its hindquarters, bringing its hocks well under, and the motion should be continuous with no hesitation.
Spins or Turnarounds: beginning from a standstill, the horse spins 360 degrees or more (up to four and one-quarter full turns) in place around its stationary inside hind leg. The hind pivot foot remains in essentially the same location throughout the spin, though the horse will pick it up and put it down as it turns. Spins are judged on correctness, smoothness, and cadence. Speed adds to the difficulty and will improve the score of a correctly done spin. A pattern requires at least one set of spins in each direction. Horses must stop the spin in the designated place or be penalized for over or under spinning. The term Pivot is sometimes used to describe a turn on the hindquarters of up to 360 degrees where the horse has to keep a rear pivot foot stationary. In 4-H competition, pivots of 90, 180, or 360 degrees are sometimes used in pattern classes to introduce youth riders to reining concepts.
Pause or Hesitate: the horse is asked to stand still for a few seconds to "settle" between certain movements in the reining pattern, particularly after spins. Pauses are not judged as a movement per se, but a horse that is ill-mannered or behaves with impatience when asked to wait will be penalized.
How do I know all this? Because one time I asked Larry what he was doing and he proceeded to tell me for over an hour and crammed my brain with a ton of equestrian stuff. Now it's time to see if he's as good as he talks himself to be. He begins by taking hold of one rein (my hair) in each hand at a 30-degree angle. Next, he cues the horse (me) to walk forward using his legs and seat, so I slowly get moving.
"Good, good. Now let's try..."
"Don't tell me. If you tell me then I'm not picking up on your guidance and just know what you want."
"Oh...Thanks."
"No problem. And might I just say...Neigh!"
He laughs as he pulls back with gentle pressure on the rein in his left hand. Squeezing back, rather than tugging. As he actively cues with the left rein, the continued contact on the right rein as controls the amount of bend I will take as I turn. At the same time, as he cues with the reins, he applies pressure with his left leg onto my side so that I am turning around his leg. Careful not to lean as we turn, but staying straight on my back, with his weight on his inside hip bone. As proof I obeyed the cue correctly, he stops the pressure of his hand and leg, thus I stop as well.
"Yay! You did it!"
"Neigh!"
"Now let's try out some circles."
"Neigh?"
Seemingly forgetting my request of being gentle, he kicks me and instinct have me bolting from the pain in my sides. He's all giggles with excitement as I gallop about the room all wild and yet spinning under his reining control while he bucks on my back like a rodeo cowboy.
"Oooh! Whoo! Yeah! Faster horsey! Faster!"
All this spinning gets to the both of us eventually. He tumbles off me, landing on his back and too dizzy to correct himself. I can't see straight, the world in a constant jumble, I stumble about drunkenly till I smack into Jr.'s bed frame and crash on the floor rug like I was just clubbed over the head, seeing stars and all before blacking out.
[Meanwhile: down the hall]
Roy and Jr. bicker constantly as they return with snacks, mostly because Jr. kept on Roy's case every time the bad boy in pink kept trying to ditch the Prince to return the girl they both adore, even if one of them has stronger feelings.
"You have to back off, Roy."
"Make me, squirt."
"Mama belongs with Papa."
"She does not. She's mine!"
"You can say that all you want, but it doesn't make it true."
"If you don't shut your trap, I'm gonna take that cake and stuff your mouth till ya can't speak. Capeesh?"
"Blah-blah-blah. You're all bark and no bite."
"Wanna bet?"
"You wouldn't dare."
"Do ya really wanna press your luck, brat?"
"You aren't going to do a gosh darn thi...!"
Roy cuts Jr. off by smashing his pie into Jr.'s face and stunning the young Prince.
"Heh. Next time, listen to your betters and keep your mouth shut."
The pie slowly slides off Jr.'s face, leaving his head coated in whipped cream and strawberry filling, then splats on the floor. For a moment there is silence. Then, the young Prince began to sniffle and then...
"*cries* Mama! *sobs*"
Jr. runs as fast as his little legs can force him and Roy, realizing this will make him look super bad to the person he's trying to entice, tries to catch up so he can save face. Though upon making it back to the room, things were not as they left them. Larry was stuck on his back and groaning lightly in the middle of the room. Lynsie was knocked out by Jr.'s bed, her face on the floor and slightly under the bed while her body was bent over itself in a comical fashion. What the heck happened while they were gone?
"Mama!"
Jr. comes to his pretend mother's aid while Roy sighs and approaches Larry, putting his foot on his younger brother's belly which rouses Larry's attention.
"Huh? Oh...Hey there Roy."
"Sup Larry. So, baby bro, mind answerin' somethin' for me?"
"*giggles* Only if you stop being upside down."
Roy rolls his shade covered eyes and uses the same foot on his brother's belly to stomp the floor. The resulting strike of his foot on the floor causes a tremor that ripples the stone in a way that defies the realm of physics, but what it does do is tosses Larry into the air and has him land on his chest. It also shakes up the room, its contents, Jr., and Lynsie, both of whom wind up on the bed due to the bounce.
"Yay! No one's upside down anymore."
"Talk Larry."
"Horsey went wild. It was awesome! Heh heh heh!"
"Horsey?"
Larry points to Lynsie and Roy groans.
"Stick to your real horses, bro. She's not your filly to break."
"*sigh* I guess your right. My bad."
And with that, Larry gets up, all be it a tad tipsy, then waves it off as he leaves, like all of this was as normal as can be.
"How's she doin', squirt?"
"She's sleeping. But I think she bumped her head when we flew up here."
Roy mentally cursed himself for that. He didn't expect his strength to be a bad thing. Now he would have to check himself in the future, he wouldn't want to hurt her. That would be a big mood killer. Suddenly she stirs, and not gently either. Shirking away from Jr. and off the bed, the look on her face was far from the normal pleasant one they know.
"Mama, you're okay!"
She didn't seem to hear him.
"Sugar? Ya feelin' alright?"
She gave no reply.
"Mama?"
All she did was walk towards the door. This wasn't right.
"Hey..."
Roy blocks her path and the room's exit.
"Move."
She didn't even sound the same. Her voice was darker, holding a tensely annoyed tone.
"Not till ya talk to us."
"Move. Now."
"Ain't happenin'."
She glares and he stares her down, refusing to yield.
"I grow weary of this..."
Much to their surprise, she shoves Roy aside and leaves them dumbfounded.
"Roy...Why is Mama mad?"
"I don't know. But I'm gonna find out. You stay put."
"But..."
"Just listen to me for once!"
That made Jr. recoil slightly but nod with understanding before Roy went after the moody human.
I am not in a good mood. My head is pounding in so much pain it hurts just to have my eyes open. I just want to find a nice quiet dark place to lay down for a while and sleep till this goes away.
"Sweetheart!"
For the love of god...I can't deal with this, not now.
"Hey!"
Roy runs up and grabs my shoulder. Making me turn on him with a snap.
"What?!"
"What's your damage? You're being a total jerk right now."
"Leave me be, Roy."
"First, you blow off our date by invitin' Jr. like ya don't even care. Then ya give me attitude for no reason. What's with ya?"
My head...it hurts...so much...
"Roy...Just leave me alone."
"No. Not till I get some dang answers out of ya."
It hurts...
"You have five seconds to go."
"Or what?"
"Four..."
Just leave already.
"Talk to me."
"Three..."
Go away.
"Sugar..."
"Two..."
Just go!
"Say something'!"
I don't want to hurt you, you big dummy!
"One."
I step away to go and he aims to stop me, but this doesn't end well. I go to push him, he grabs my hands, he pulls me, I yank back, he lunges forward, I jab my knee out, he hits the floor hard and holds his gut.
"*wheeze* Sugar...Why...?"
"Stop..."
I trudge away.
"Just stop, Roy."
I hold my pounding head in my hands, rubbing the temples to ease this pain as I make my way down the hall. All Roy can do is watch as I leave him there. The blow served to him was minor, just enough to knock the wind out of him. What really had him hurt was that she was willing to strike him and even kick him while he was down by not apologizing. He didn't know what was wrong and he wanted to find out, but after what just happened...maybe now wasn't the best time to poke the metaphorical bear.
"*sigh* Girls are so complicated sometimes."
Aspirin...This kingdom for some extra strength aspirin. My head feels like it's going to implode. This pain will only increase the longer I remain awake. Light, sound, and movement all hurt. I need to sleep this off. I need to crawl into a hole and not come out for some time. I need...oh...that will do nicely.
An unlocked broom closet is not what most people would call a good or even decent place to rest, but it will do as I need. It's dark, devoid of sound, and judging by the level of dust on some of the things inside, it's a safe bet that I won't be disturbed for a very long time. I maneuver some towels and garbage bags into a makeshift nest before curling into a ball for some hopefully healing slumber. Maybe when I wake back up all my pain will be gone and I can repair things with Roy. Gosh, that was bad of me. I just hope he can forgive me. After all, they say time heals all wounds. Okay Sandman, let the healing begin.
[Many hours later]
"What do you mean you CAN'T find her?!"
Bowser was far from a happy camper at the moment.
"W-We're sorry, oh malevolent one."
"B-B-But the human just can't be located."
The King's Spiny subordinates tremble, knowing all too well that what is to follow is anything less than pleasant. Spinies or Spiny when singular are quadrupedal Koopas with a menacing look that has a spiked shell and look similar to Buzzy Beetles due to their shells over growing their own bodies for more protection.
"This is UNACCEPTABLE!"
The roar of searing flame was only survivable due to them ducking away into their protective shells.
"Please sire, there's no need to be so upset. "
"We can get someone else to take care of the Prince."
To that, Bowser glares with enough force to make a blind person shiver with dread.
"A caretaker? You think that's all she is? That girl is crucial to my plan for taking Princess Peach! I can't simply replace her. There is no time to not only find a willing woman to aid me, but also one that will fit the damn dress!"
His ire for this whole situation was burning to the point of cinders wafting out with each word he said.
"So unless she is found in the next five minutes, I will personally see to it that no one, and I mean no one, will be spared the brutal beat down I will unleash! The hurt that you will all feel will be so great, your great-grandchildren will still be feeling it! I will rain down pain like the fires of..."
"*ahem* Lord Bowser, sir..."
The ghostly voice of a Boo whispers into the throne room before the specter itself becomes seen. Though their specifics change from where they tend to live, Boos are usually bashful, cowardly, spherical ghosts. They usually have black eyes, fangs, and long tongues. Boos have a unique, high-pitched laugh as well as a haunting laugh. Due to their reclusive nature, most species of Boo will cover their faces and become intangible when looked at, they will often sneak behind their victim and strike when their back is turned. While the ghosts generally appear to be more afraid of their victims than their victim is of them, this is not always the case. Some Boos have absolutely no problem meeting their victim's gaze, and will even try to attack. They also speak their own language called Booish.
"My team has found the human of which you seek."
"You have?"
"Indeed."
"Well...Bring her to me."
"No."
The all too innocent chirp in the ghost's voice hit the King's ears in an unpleasant way.
"No? Heh...What do you mean, no?"
"I mean, no. As in, we will not be giving her to you..."
"WHAT?!"
"Unless you give us something in return."
Bowser snarls like a volcano about to blow but the Boo merely smiles.
"Shall we discuss the terms of our exchange?"
Shifting into a stern look, the King makes a choice.
"You two...Leave."
Sensing the level of rage fuming off their King like an aura of death, the Spinies dare not to question his order and leave the throne room. Now alone with solely the King of Koopas, more Boos begin to appear.
"What are your demands?"
"Nothing big. We need nothing that the living do. All we want is information."
"About?"
"The location of our King."
Bowser just huffs.
"What makes you think I know where that living tablecloth is?"
"We know King Boo has worked with you on numerous occasions. It's why we too work for you, out of respect for this alliance between our kingdoms. But while this employment has been most entertaining..."
The other Boos snicker.
"We can not allow our Kingdom to go without its ruler any longer than it already has. So if you'd be so kind as to give us what we want...We will do the same for you."
"*snort* Are you sure you even want that spook back? I mean, he got beat by Green 'Stache with a vacuum cleaner twice. Maybe you all can use a new leader."
The ghosts were not amused.
"It was just a suggestion."
"Do we have a deal or not? The location of our King for your maiden plaything."
That made Bowser unintentionally blush.
"S-She is not my plaything. Lynsie is just my son's keeper and pawn."
"Sure, whatever. No one cares what you do with who behind closed doors."
"I do not like her!"
"Again, we don't care."
"I DON'T!"
"Do you want her back or not?"
"NO! I DON'T!"
"Do you want Princess Peach?"
"YES!"
"Then you'll need the girl, correct?"
"YES!"
"Where is King Boo located?"
"LOOK FOR A STRANGE OLD MAN NAMED PROFESSOR ELVIN GADD. HE USED TO LIVE IN THE FOOTHILLS OF THE THWOMP VOLCANO BUT HAS SINCE MOVED TO BOO WOODS, WHERE HE STUDIES GHOSTS AND HAS ESTABLISHED GADD SCIENCE, INC."
"Thank you."
"YOU'RE WELCOME."
"You can find the girl in a broom closet on level six. We've taken the liberty of marking the door for you."
Slowly they fade away till only the Koopa King remains.
"Take care, Lord Bowser."
With the location of the girl now his, Bowser storms away. Burning through his pent-up rage as adrenaline while trampling his way through halls and upstairs. Minions scatter or are trampled, gold coins are left behind in his wake. When he reacts the sixth level of the castle, it isn't long before the closet in question is found. A very noticeable sign indeed Boos, they marked the door with a goofy face that's sticking its tongue out. Not in the mood for any more foolishness, he doesn't just open the door but rips the thing from its very hinges.
"You miserable twit! Do you have any idea...how...uh..."
All anger in him peters away at the sight that laid before him. He was expecting to see her cowering. He was expecting to see her in fear. What he didn't expect to see was her coiled in on herself on a makeshift bed. Her hands clutched her head, pain clearly readable on her pressed into a towel face, and these tiny whimpering sounds that didn't bother to stay quiet like she probably would want them to be if she were conscious.
"What the...?"
She winces, constricting her head further in her arms to block out any sound.
"Lynsie?"
"...hurts..."
Hurts? What hurts? Dang it girl, why are you so much trouble?
"Come here, pesky girl..."
Ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him to punch her awake, Bowser did something more respectful. Scooping her from her little nest, which he found rather odd for a human to have made and had him thinking on if all humans did that or not, he held her in his arms like a child, to which she began to squirm.
"Like it or not, you're coming with me. So stop moving or I'm gonna drop you like a bad habit."
She groans but seems to comply. Settling down and hiding her face in his chest to keep what little light from her eyes, making him tense up as he reads this as something that he hopes it doesn't mean.
"Okay, don't get too comfortable now. I'm still big bad King Koopa, remember?"
"...sorry..."
He was cursing himself now. Why did he think this was cute? Was it the compliance? The weakly soft voice? The way she fit in his arms? Damn her for making him feel these weird things and double damn her for always putting him in these awkward moments!
"*grumble* You're lucky Jr. likes you."
With that, he took his leave with her, heading to of all places, his private bedchamber. He just couldn't trust her to not be out of his sight anymore, not with Peach's party a mere day away. Too much keeps happening around her. The plan is not to be foiled, not by anymore, not Mario, not green Mario, not Peach, and certainly not this goofball that his kids can't seem to get enough of. Minions that take note of the scene that passes them quickly make themselves scarce. Lord knows they don't want to end up as so many have for making comments about the King and his attention to the lowly girl that has taken up room in the grand castle.
Arriving at his room, Bowser makes swift work of making sure she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Cocooning her in a thick blanket to the point she couldn't move was a good start. Now, where was he going to put her?
*knock-knock-knock*
Oh, what now?!
Answering his door, he was surprised to see Morton there.
"Morton?"
"Dad...Morton needs to tell you something that Morton did."
"Does it affect me in any way?"
"Morton is unsure about that."
"Is this about Jr.?"
"No."
"Then speak."
Morton looks down at his feet and fiddles with his hands behind his back, earning him a funny look from his adoptive father.
"Morton did something bad to the Lynn lady..."
Something bad? Was this the reason she was in pain?
"What did you do, Morton?"
"Morton used magic on her."
"What kind?"
"...Paralysis."
"When did you do this?"
"...A few days ago."
"So why am I just hearing this now?"
"She said she wasn't mad at Morton. But she made Morton promise to tell you. She said if Morton didn't tell you, she'd not give Morton any more cuddles."
Did she blackmail him into doing the right thing by threatening to withhold affection? Wow...She really does parent his kids. Maybe that was worth some small reward later.
"Are you mad at Morton?"
"No, Morton, I'm not mad. In fact, I'm proud of you."
"You are?"
Bowser rubs Morton's head affectionately, making the boy laugh a little bit.
"Of course. It took guts to come here and tell me that."
"Thanks, dad. You're the best..."
Morton's words trailed off upon noticing the long tail of brown hair hanging off the end of his father's bed.
"Dad...Why is Lynn lady in your room?"
Great, he saw her. Time to dance around this so it doesn't look like what he could be thinking it looks like.
"She's sleeping."
"On your bed?"
"Where else would she sleep? The floor?"
"No! Not the floor."
"That's why she's on the bed. She fell asleep while helping me, so I'm letting her rest."
"Oh. That makes sense."
Yes! Way to go, Bowser. You're the master of being smooth.
"Can Morton sleep with her too?"
Or not.
"No!"
Too much! Recover! Recover now!
"I mean...She's really tired and asked me to make sure she isn't disturbed."
"But Morton can be quiet. Morton just wants to cuddle for a while."
"Sorry, but no can do."
"But Dad..."
"No buts! She's not leaving this room and that's final!"
Not allowing further debate to happen, Bowser shuts his chamber door.
"And you tell the others that too!"
To say Morton was confused would be an understatement. But what was he to do? Left with only the one option, he left the hall of his father's abode, now with more questions running through his head.
Bowser didn't like having to have done that, but what really was the other option? Each time she's around his kids, something happens. Heck, Morton just admitted to using paralysis magic on her. Why did he even do that? What was he going to do to her? For that matter, have any of the other kids done things like that with her? Roy really is taken with her, has he done things? Why didn't she tell him any of this? Did she not trust him? Was she worried about tattling on them? Was she afraid to talk about it with him? Why does this girl have to burden his mind like this with so many questions?!
"Why must you be such a thorn in my hide? Or is this just a thing all women do? Drive men crazy."
She didn't respond, merely rolled over a little.
"*sigh* Enjoy this while it lasts. You're never going to know my bed again after this."
Running a hand through his hair, the King of all Koopas walked over to his bedside and roughly plopped down. This day has been a taxing one. Maybe the human has the right idea and sleep would make way for a fresh start tomorrow.
"It's a good thing you're sleeping..."
He slips out of his shell.
"Though I kind of want you to see, only so that I can show off this perfect body."
He can't help but flex in a few poses, admiring his form. Though when the personal show is over, he reaches into his nightstand and grabs a large glass bottle.
"A little bubbly before bed won't hurt."
Taking a couple deep chugs, he looks over at the sleeping girl and smirks.
"This will be our little secret. So don't go telling the kids about papa's special drink."
He chuckles to himself while putting the bottle back then moving to be under the covers. Though before he could get comfortable, he had to move her, otherwise she'd be getting kicked in the face all night.
"Now be a good girl and stay put."
No way she was going anywhere. Now she laid all bundled amongst the pillows above his head. The only way she was getting out and into trouble would be by his hand or a fool that broke into his room.
"Sleep tight, Lynsie. You pain in my tail goofball."
With that, Bowser allows slumber to take hold of his slowly bubbled mind. The last thought he'll recall is hoping she doesn't snore. Though by morning's light, he'll be trying to recall much more than that.
Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.
If there are any questions, feel free to ask.