Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^
Dawn slowly stretches out over many lands of the world. One of these, in particular, the Koopa Kingdom, would hardly know of the sun's rise if it weren't for the blinding light on the horizon that made its agonizing crawl up into the heavens. The volcanos constant smoke seemed less thick than usual and the ash rained down softly like fresh snow.
The local wildlife begins to stir from the dreary night of rest. The resilient flora that dares to thrive in this tough land stretches out to gather what light it can to grow even more. The people that call this land home greet the day and get ready for the tasks of daily life. Workers at Castel Koopa wake particularly early in order to get thing ready. Meals must be precisely planned, the building cleaned to a spotless finish, and everything must be in its proper place.
The last to be roused by the coming of the day are the members of the royal family. Of course, the children wake before the adults, what with their young bodies able to make enough energy to envy a star. And at the very end of this long line of waking up is the King of all Koopas. Lord Bowser is a heavy sleeper, especially after having a nightcap. His dreams hold onto him for as long as they can, letting him enjoy that which he wishes for most in a world that has yet to give in to his will. Yet today is different. Something stirs his royal spiky abrasiveness from the dreams he loves so dearly. Something soft. Something sweet smelling. Something that...That was touching him back? What the heck?!
Opening his heavy-lidded eyes, Bowser comes blushing snout to nose with a certain pain in his shell human girl. She was still out like a broken light, he was super grateful for that, but how did she end up with him like this? The last thing he remembered was he had wrapped her up like a big burrito and laid her on the pillows above him. So how did she become unwrapped and laying next to him in a way too comfortably intimate way, all cuddly like? Their noses were touching, mouths almost close enough to share a kiss, arms draped over one another, and one of his legs cupping around her lower half that had drawn her body far too close to his own for his liking.
"*hushed* How much did I drink last night?"
Easing himself out of this cuddle was easier said than done. Removing his leg was simple. However, trying to slip his arms away only resulted in her trying to keep close to the warmth emanating from his body. This nearly caused a kiss to happen but was avoided by him looking up and her head now rested under his chin.
"*sigh* Figures...The one time I don't want a woman and I can't get her off me. Oh, irony, you cruel devil."
A bit more maneuvering here and there finally allows him freedom from her sleepy hold. Though once he was out of her embrace, part of him did miss the contact. It has been a long time since he was used to the feelings she kept bring back to him. Feelings he wanted to have brought back by Peach. But maybe he can look at it this way, she's helping to start the fire while allowing it to fully burn for his dear Peachy. Yeah, that makes sense. Just transfer all these feelings to Peach. Ah, sweet Peach.
"Note to self...No bubbly before bed when Peach is with me."
Getting out of bed, he grabs his shell and slips it on, only to laugh at himself when he finds it upside down.
"Heh...A metaphor for my life in a nutshell."
"Bowser..."
Her weak tired voice has him freeze. Maybe if he doesn't move or make a sound, she won't notice him and go back to sleep. With his awkwardly shelled back to her, all he hears is some shifting in the bed and a weary yawn that became a low drone that then went silent. Turning his head ever so slightly confirmed she had indeed nodded off again. He quietly fist pumped the air and mentally thanked the stars for that luck. Re-shelling himself properly this time, he thought of what his next move was going to be for the day.
"*hushed* Let's see...Peach's party is tomorrow. I got the gift ready. My suit is done. Her dress is done. Even got a peace offering bouquet on ice to stay fresh. What else is needed? Hmmm...Oh! The carriage. Got to see if that's ready. Can't show up in the Koopa Clown Car. While roomy, reliable, sturdy, lightweight, gets good mileage, can fly as well as being all-terrain and submersible, it is not the classiest thing to show up in. Heck, I think I've heard Roy call it 'chick repellant' once."
"*groan*"
Looking over at her, his next course of action became clear.
"You, little spitfire..."
Moving to his wall of intimidating weapons that he's used over the years, he grabs an old classic, the Koopa Scepter. This platinum magic wand is topped with a white opal-like jewel that is capable of all sorts of powerful magics, essentially like the seven wand the Koopalings possess but all in one and with more power as it was the one that made the seven.
"You'll be sleeping in today."
With a wave of his hand and pointing the magic at her, the wispy white energy consumes her.
"No ifs, ands, or buts...End of story."
Normally he didn't borrow ideas his children had, but Morton's use of a paralysis spell gave him the thought of a sleep spell. A spell that won't let her wake up without the reversing spell. No way she was getting into trouble now. Not unless she sleepwalks. Oh...Oh crap, what if she does sleepwalk? God, even when she's sleeping this girl is a pain.
"Great. I can't stay here all day with you. For crying out loud, I have a Kingdom to maintain. *sigh* Who can I trust to watch you and not mess with my stuff?"
*knock-knock-knock-knock*
Who needs him this early?
"*muffled* Dad? Are you up? Kamek is looking for you."
Iggy? Perfect!
Putting the scepter back on the wall, Bowser opens the door with a smile that unnerves Iggy somewhat.
"Iggy, my boy. I have a special task for you."
"Y-You do?"
"Yes. Please, come inside."
Excited, Iggy enters the room, only to then be confused seeing the slumbering girl in his father's bed.
"Uh...?"
"Iggy, I'm trusting you with watching her for the day."
"B-But...Why is she...?"
"Now, do you happen to hold any personal significance for her?"
"Um, well, not really, but..."
"Good. Then you'll do just fine."
"King Dad, I have so many questions..."
"I'll answer them later. Right now, I have to take care of things. All you have to do is not touch my things and make sure she doesn't leave or allow anyone else into this room till I come back. Do you understand?"
"I...I think so."
"I'm trusting you, Iggy. This may not seem like it, but this is a very important mission I'm giving you. If something happens to her, then my plan to get the Princess tomorrow fails. And if I can't get Peach, you know what I'll do, don't you? No one in this castle will be spared my wrath."
Iggy gulps loudly.
"Y-Yes, sir. I promise, she won't leave my sight."
"That's my boy. I knew I could count on you."
Bowser ruffles Iggy's hair playfully, earning an endearing giggle from the boy.
"Remember now, Iggy..."
Bowser heads out of the room.
"I'm counting on you."
Iggy stands up straight and salutes.
"I won't let you down."
With that Bowser shuts the door and it takes a moment or two for dear Iggy to realize he's been left alone in his father's room...with a human girl...Oh, the tempting possibilities! His inquisitive mind lit up like fireworks on Koopa Independents Day. Moving to the bed, his focus zoned in on her and not all the rarities belonging to his kingly parent. Many books he has read on humans and their anatomy, but all real scientist knows there is a big difference between reading about something and actually studying it.
"*giddy snickering* King Dad said not to let you leave the room. But he didn't say I couldn't have some fun while watching you."
He crept onto the bed, so many thoughts and experiments filling his head. It was giving him goosebumps.
"Don't worry Lynn...I just want to run a few tests. *snickers* Glad I won that straw game now."
Carefully, he studied her. Picking up her limbs and bending them to see just how far their limits were before he saw any discomfort come to her face. This study will go on for quite some time.
[Flashback: earlier that morning]
When the Koopalings had woken up this morning, the mood at their part of the castle was already seesawing and with some of them, it was already down. So when it came time for them to eat breakfast, the table was a bed for tension. And it didn't take much for the fires brewing to explode.
"Hey, Wendy..."
"Yes, Lemmy?"
"Can you pass the sugar?"
"Sure."
"Argh!"
Roy slams his fists right through the table, nearly flipping it if it weren't for Morton eating with his elbows on the table at the opposite side.
"No sugar! No one even mentions that word!"
"Geez Roy, calm down."
"Take a deep breath and count backward from ten."
His siblings do their best to try to settle him down.
"Trouble in paradise?"
Ludwig snidely remarks while sipping tea, a classic jerk move he's been known to pull to get under someone's skin.
"You! This has been your doin', hasn't it?!"
"I am unsure what you mean, brother."
"You know exactly what I mean, ya snooty hoity-toity snob! Don't think I don't notice when ya just so happen to be around my girl. Whisperin' in her ear like you're Romeo or somethin'!"
"Believe me, Roy, as much as I do enjoy you stepping up your insulting game, I'm afraid that this attack is most unwarranted."
"Like heck, it ain't! You've been puttin' the moves on her since day número uno."
"Hello pot, meet kettle."
"What?"
"By the way, I see myself more like the Phantom of the Opera than Romeo."
"I freakin' knew it!"
"Knew what? Aside from a few suspicions you seem to have, you have yet to provide any evidence that I am personally meddling in your amusing attempts to curry favor with that charming flower."
"There! Right there! You sayin' stuff like that and how ya act when with her is all the proof I need."
"And why do you think I would waste my time trying to sabotage you when I can just as easily sit back and watch you do it to yourself?"
"Because you're a dipwad that likes being a major pain in the shell."
"Regardless of what you or anyone else at this table might think, I do not enjoy the suffering of my kin. There is nothing that bothers me more than to see any of you hurt. I mean, honestly, if I did like watching you all fail, then why would I bother being interested in any other hobbies?"
"That's not funny!"
"I'm not trying to be funny. I'm merely stating a fact. I don't like it when you feel upset. I will admit to antagonizing you lot every so often, but I do so to push you. I know you can do better. So I will say or do things to stoke the proverbial fire in your hearts that makes you want to prove me wrong."
He sips some tea while for a moment, Roy feels respect for his older brother, but that doesn't last long.
"Yet I shall also admit to holding a torch for the fair maiden, and I will not bow out of this race for her heart so easily."
"That's it!"
Roy leaps out of his seat and tackles Ludwig to the ground where they begin to tussle.
"Will you two idiots stop this! *huffs* Boys are so dumb."
"I don't see what the big deal is?"
"Yeah. The lady Lynn is nice but not worth fighting over."
"I disagree. Lynn is highly intelligent and kind for a human. She's far better than the other human females we've met so far."
"Morton like Lynn lady. She gives good hugs. Maybe that's why King dad likes her too."
That cause a few bits of silverware to drop from their user's hands.
"What do you mean, he likes her?"
"Have you been listenin' to Jr.? That squirt don't know what he's talkin' about."
"For once, Roy is right."
"Yeah. ...Hey!"
"Our father is devout to Princess Peach and no one else. Granted they share a level of mutual respect that, dare I even say, borders on friendship, but nothing more. What would make you think he would harbor stronger feelings?"
"Because she was..."
"Excuse me..."
All eyes suddenly fall to Kamek who waltzes into their area unannounced.
"Have any of you seen Lord Bowser?"
"Why are you asking us?"
"Aren't you his keeper?"
Kamek groans and taps his fingers over his golden wand's red jewel.
"Then can one of you assist me in finding him? It would make things go so much faster."
"Why should we help you do your job?"
"What's in it for us?"
"A hearty thank you for doing something unselfishly for once?"
The seven of them shoot him a look.
"*sigh* I'll do one chore of the helper's choosing for a month. Happy?"
"Deal!"
Seemingly forgetting all the tension from earlier, they huddle like a team of Chargin' Chucks.
"Okay, how do we decide this?"
"We can wrestle for it!"
"Not happening."
"I could break a nail!"
"Not counting Wendy's excuse, only Morton and you are capable of great physical strength, Roy. Wrestling would be unfair to the rest of us, especially Lemmy."
"Then what do you suggest?"
"A fair game. One of trivia."
"No fair!"
"You and Iggy are the really smart ones, Ludwig."
"We can play rock, scissors, paper for it?"
"Nuh uh. You all gang up on me because I always pick rock."
"Pick somethin' else then."
"But rock is the best move!"
"Is it because it's like a ball?"
"...Maybe."
"Morton have an idea."
"Oh?"
"Morton think we should draw straws."
"That...That actually works."
"But we don't have straws."
"We can draw wands. We cover the tops and pick them at random. Whoever gets the chosen color wins."
"What color is the one we want?"
"Let's got with orange."
"Why orange?"
"Because no one likes it."
"Hey! I like orange."
"That's because it's your wand color, Larry."
"Alright."
"Are you kids done? I haven't got all day."
They grumble but continue with their plan. Covering the tops of their silver wands, the siblings shuffle the wands and then one by one take turns picking one. Once all wands have been chosen, they remove the coverings. Ludwig had red. Morton had black. Roy had purple. Wendy had blue. Lemmy had yellow. Larry had green. And Iggy had orange.
"Yes! You can take care of my chomp for the next month!"
"Someone has to. Might as well be me. Come along then, Iggy."
Iggy proudly collects his yellow wand and leaves with Kamek, allowing the others to take back their own.
"Lucky Iggy."
"I bet he cheated."
"The odds were one in seven, there were no means of cheating."
"Still sucks though."
"Yeah."
"Where do you think they'll find the old man at?"
"He could be in his spot in the garden."
"Or the study!"
"He's probably still sleeping. You know how he gets on weekends."
"Yeah, he sleeps in a lot. Kammy always nags us about it, but never him."
"He is King after all."
"Still not fair."
"Lucky King dad."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because she's sleeping in his bed with him."
"Who?"
"The Lynn lady."
"WHAT!?"
[Back to present time]
"Well, Lord Bowser...What do you think of the design?"
Asks a lone Hammer Bro. Hammer Bros are Koopas that stand upright and throw hammers at the enemies. They have bigger shells than normal Koopa Troopas and wear helmets that cover their blue spiky hair with yellow tips. Hammer Bros have several times been described as elite members of Bowser's Koopa Troop.
"I like it. Really classy and screams that it's a Koopa carriage."
The coach weighs four tons and is 30 feet (9.1 m) long and 16 feet (4.8 m) high. It is gilded in gold and rich carved portraits of Bowser's face, as well as sculptures including four cherub ParaKoopas on the corners of the roof with a large spiked shell, donned with a crown at the carriage's top. The body of the coach is slung by chain braces and decorated with spikes. The interior is lined with purple velvet and satin. The coach is made to be pulled by a team of eight Chain Chomps wearing a red metal harness. It shall be driven by a coachman, the eight Chain Chomps are to be positioned in two lines of fours.
"I'm pleased you like it, Sire. Though I must admit there will be an issue with it."
"What kind of issue?"
"Well, you see...The coach is so heavy it will have to be driven the long way to the Mushroom Kingdom. If we were to take the basic road, then the environmental hazards might trigger the Chomps and we wouldn't want there to be a wreck. So we'll have to take a couple side roads."
"*sigh* Fine. I guess that just means I'll be leaving ahead of schedule. Were you at least able to implement the comforts I requested?"
"Some, but not all. With weight being a factor, I tried to keep it as light as we could while doing as you wished. As the coach is suspended from braces, it lacks more modern comforts. It does not have the electric windows, mini-fridge, or heated seats. We were able to get the hydraulic stabilizers though."
"Really? So this won't be one of the most uncomfortable rides I'll ever have in my life?"
"Not at all. We even went with rubber all-terrain tires to absorb shock instead of stiff wagon wheels for extra comfort. And if you check the underside, we were able to make a support brace that cradles the undercarriage. This way it shall prevent the housing from shaking about all crazy or from bouncing madly."
"Great. So I'll be safe and cozy while cold and hungry. How could we not work those in?"
"It's a weight issue, Sire. Factoring in you and your two riders, plus the driver, the coach is already near its limits. Then we added body support and the hydraulic stabilizers. To run those other comforts we'd need electricity, which would require a generator or a series of batteries. All of which will compromise the structure and cause it to collapse on itself."
"*huff* Dang...I guess we can throw some quilts and a cooler in there. Or will that be too much for this thing to handle?"
"No, Sire. That's fine."
"Good..."
Bowser pulls out his phone and checks the time.
"Have it ready to go in an hour."
"Yes, Sire."
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a party to get ready for."
And with that, the Koopa King makes his way to suit up before riding out. So far, this day is as smooth as a hot knife in butter.
"My Lord!"
Or Kamek could make him regret getting out of bed.
"My Lord! There you are. I've been looking all over for you."
"What is it Kamek? I have to get ready to leave."
"Sir, I need to go over the plans for the unification of the Kingdoms."
"Can it wait?"
"I'm afraid not. With the Mushroom Kingdom's ever altering topography, we need to manage the layout of the land so that dividing amongst the different factions of the Koopa Clan are even."
"Fine. Talk to me as I prepare."
"Yes, sir."
[Meanwhile: with Bowser Jr.]
"I don't know why I trusted Roy. That big bully lied to me. He's keeping Mama all to himself."
Storming out of his room, Jr. heads off with Magic Paintbrush in hand and bandana over his mouth.
"I'll show him I'm not one to be fibbed to."
The Magic Paintbrush is Jr.'s main weapon in most of his personal missions. Also named the Gaddbrush by its creator Professor E. Gadd, the strange old man in a white coat who gave it to Jr. years ago, the Magic Paintbrush can create perplexing endless Graffiti that has many functions, such as generating portals between locations or disguising the user's appearance and so much more. It was thought lost after the final battle at the top of Isle Delfino's Corona Mountain, but the Magic Paintbrush ended up on an island near Gelato Beach, where it was discovered by Il Piantissimo. It went up on display in Delfino's museum of island history where it stayed till the young Prince rightfully took it back. No one takes his things. Not even family.
"I'm coming for you, Mama."
His pace is slow and menacing at first, as to match the determined look on his face. Then it builds up speed. More and more. Till he's bounding through the halls and traversing walls like a reptilian ninja. Minions and staff look on in awe. Never knowing the true prowess of the what most would think is just the royal brat. Then he hears it...
"Open this damn door, Iggy!"
That's Roy's voice!
Roy himself is pounding on his father's chamber door like a madman. His siblings do their best to try to restrain him but their efforts do very little, even Morton and his strength do nothing against his slightly younger brother's angst. Even poor Iggy on the other side of the door, who has barricaded himself inside, is trembling at the force of each hit. Thank his lucky stars that, much like their own rooms, Bowser's bedroom door is made of metal.
"*muffled* I'm not opening the door! I promised dad!"
"Iggy...If ya don't open this door right now, I'm gonna knock it down!"
Roy rams the door,
"Roy, calm down."
"And once I'm in there, I'm gonna beat the ever-lovin' snot out of ya!"
He rams it again.
"Stop this foolishness at once, Roy."
"Then I'm gonna take back my..."
He aims to ram it once more but is kicked in the face by what seemed to have been Jr who came out of nowhere, leaving the others rather confused. Roy tumbles for a bit before skidding into a statue of the King.
"That's what you get, you big meanie!"
Roy shakes the rocks from his head and upon realizing what just happened, snarls at his attacker.
"Oh, you are so dead, squirt!"
Blinded by his rage, Roy spits balls of fire at Jr. while the others get out of the way. Jr. glares and slides towards the balls before twirling the brush, hitting them right back at Roy. This forces Roy to duck into his shell and spin rapidly to break the flames.
"I'm through messin' around!"
Roy pops out of his shell but now brandishing his huge Bullet Bill Blaster.
"You don't scare me, Roy."
"Big mistake, squirt."
Sensing the danger escalating and finding boys to be incredibly stupid, Wendy attempts to be the voice of reason before this gets too out of hand.
"Come on boys, this is just stupid. We're family. Even if we tick each other off, we don't attack one another. That's just dumb. Do what we all do...We tattle to dad till we get our way."
Ludwig slowly claps mockingly.
"Wonderful speech, sister dear."
"Oh, bite me. I don't see you doing anything to stop this."
"Roy!"
Jr. calls out his elder pseudo-sibling.
"Give me back my Mama!"
Roy growls and aims his blaster.
"She's mine!"
The blaster goes off three times, three Bullet Bills zoom toward Jr., having targeted him for damage. Jr. is shocked but ready to counter, he paints three giant Graffiti "X"s crisscrossing across the hall, one behind the other. When the Bullet Bills touch the "X"s, they explode, causing thick tar-like multicolored goop to splatter all over the place.
"Ya think a little paint is gonna make me run?"
"You should. One step in this stuff and you'll sink."
"Sink into what? The floor is solid stone. I ain't fallin' for this bluff."
Roy takes a step forward, but as soon as his foot touches the paint coated ground, he drops. Gravity pulls his body to follow his foot's lead and he makes a splash when he becomes completely submerged. There are a few bubbles. Then his trademark shades pop up. This causes concern for the others.
"You didn't hurt him, did you?"
"Are you sure he's okay?"
"He's fine. He just needs water to wash it off."
Suddenly, Roy's hand shoots out of the paint and holding up his black wand.
"What is he doing?"
"I...I don't know."
Purple flame-like magic flows over the wand and Roy's arm, whereupon touching the paint, begins evaporating it.
"Oh...poopy."
"My fellow Koopalings..."
"Yeah?"
"Might I suggest a tactical retreat before he resurfaces?"
"Morton is way ahead of you!"
They flee past Jr. fast enough to leave the boy spinning on his heels in dizziness. By the time Jr.'s senses return to him, he sees Roy emerging with the creepiest evil grin on his face. It is in this moment that Jr. realized something, for once in his life, he was afraid of someone that wasn't his Papa.
"Oh, Jr..."
Even his voice sent chills through the young Prince.
"Thanks for the paint. Bahaha! But don't worry. I ain't mad."
A ray of hope perhaps?
"Y-You...You're not?"
"No...Of course not. *roars* I'm furious!"
Jr. freaks out and stumbles back, falling on his little turtle tushy.
"I'll give ya this much...I wasn't expectin' you to fight as good as you were. I can respect that. Near the end, I was even considerin' callin' this water under the bridge."
"Y-You were?"
"But not anymore. No more Mr. Nice Roy! So buckle up, squirt! Here comes the pain train!"
"*gulp*"
Roy rushes Jr. with a full body tackle. Jr. shuts his eyes and braces for impact. But the hit never comes. When he opens his eyes, he sees Roy being held back with a hand to his face...Bowser's hand. Oh, crud.
"I am going to count to three. And when I'm done, I want to know why I'm about to spank the both of you till you can't sit down for a year! Ready? One. Two. Three."
"He started it!"
They both shouted and pointed at one another. This was going nowhere fast.
"Try again. And this time, give me details!"
"Sire, don't forget the time."
"I know!"
Bowser picks up the both of them by the rim of their shells and heads for his room.
"This is all your fault."
"My fault? You were going to beat me up."
"Because you started it! Ya came out of nowhere and kicked me in the face. My gorgeous mug that I use to smooch my, I repeat, MY girl!"
"She is MY Mama! My Mama belongs to ME and PAPA! Not you!"
"Will you two shut it!"
Bowser conks their heads together as Kamek tries to open the door but to no avail.
"My Lord, did you lock your door?"
"*sigh* Iggy, open the door."
Kamek is confused and the shuffling noises behind the door only add to it before it opens, allowing them all inside.
"Iggy...Why is my dresser now by the door?"
"Because I needed something heavier than me to hold back Roy from breaking in."
"Roy...Why were you trying to break into my room?"
"Because Morton told us Lynsie was sleepin' in your room and I wanted to find out if it was true."
"Papa...Did Mama and you...?"
"It's not like that! Nothing happened!"
Bowser was completely red-faced.
"My Lord?"
"I found her in a closet. So to make sure she didn't get in trouble, I let her stay the night. Then I had Iggy watch her while I was up. What's so weird about that?"
"Yeah, about that...Is something wrong with her? Because she isn't waking up."
"Yes, that fine. She's just..."
"MAMA! WAKE UP!"
Jr. screams and all of them have to cover their ears, including Bowser, who drops his kids to do so.
"Ow...See, King dad? She didn't even flinch."
It was true, even after that audible assault, the girl remained sleeping. Roy and Jr. immediately rushing the bed to check on her.
"It's fine. She's under a sleep spell."
"Oooh. That explains a lot. *mummers* No wonder nothing I did woke her."
"Why a sleep spell, my Lord?"
"She can't get in trouble if she doesn't go anywhere."
"Genius as always, my King."
"I know I am. Now, if you kids can get out, I have much to discuss with Kamek as I get dressed."
"I ain't leavin' her."
"Me either."
"I'm more curious about what might happen if I stay."
"*low annoyed grumble* Fine. Just face the wall and don't turn around."
"Relax, pops. No one here wants to see you unshelled."
The children look away but Bowser takes insult to this.
"You know what..."
Bowser grabs his scepter and blasts the girl, causing her let out a long-held yawn as she began to stir.
"I don't have time for any of this. Now make up for your petty childishness, and take her to be dressed. We leave in thirty minutes."
"Yes, sir!"
Roy, Jr., and Iggy grab hold of the very confused sleepyhead then take off with her.
"Wha...W-What's happening? Where am I? Where are we going?"
Within moments, the four are gone and Bowser sighs to himself.
"Sire...Did you really mean what you told the children? That you just let her sleep in your bed?"
"Kamek, are you calling me a liar?"
"N-No, my King. I'd never say that."
"Then don't question me or the things I say. I only want Princess Peach. Period."
"Then she will be Queen of the Koopa? You will still allow her power to rule equal to your own?"
"Of course not. What do you take me for, an idiot?"
This has Kamek completely surprised.
"R-Really?"
"Listen...If there's one thing I've learned in all my years as ruler, it's this. A powerful woman is one thing, but a powerful woman in power is dangerous. Once I make Peach mine, she will be Queen in title alone, a queen consort. She will share my social rank and status, but nothing else. She is not to have any of my political and military powers. And she is not going to inherit the throne upon my death and become queen regnant. The crown is to go to Jr., then Ludwig if Jr. is unable to rule. Barring Jr. is unable to sire a hire, Ludwig will take full rule upon Jr.'s end. This will continue as the line of secession, moving down the Koopalings by age and their children."
Kamek is speechless as Bowser removes his shell and begins the annoying task of suiting up.
"What? What's with that look?"
"It's nothing. I just...I wasn't expecting to hear that. You really thought this through."
"I'm not done. Kamek...You've been with me since I was diaper wearing brat. I know I haven't been the easiest to deal with, heh, I even remember I once trounced you for waking me up from nap time."
"Heheh...Yeah. You were a handful. But worth every moment to see you as you are today."
"You've been a father to me, Kamek. You know what to do and how things should be. I don't often show it, but I respect you. Which is why I want you to rule if something were to me and none of the children are of age."
Kamek's jaw drops.
"And if the kids are of age, I want you to advise them as you have me. I trust you to lead them down the Koopa path. You will...uh...Are you...Are you crying?"
"*sniffles* N-No. T-There's just s-something in my eyes."
Bowser just smiles as he dons his shell once more after dressing. His mind told him to make a comment about Kamek's heartfelt moment, but his heart kept his mouth shut so he wouldn't ruin this. Now fully dressed, the grand King of the Koopas, with his special gift for Peach in hand, made his way to the castle entry hall with Kamek in tow. No doubt his human buffer will meet him there as the carriage pulls up. This actually had him wondering, how was she going to look? He knew what the dress's design was and even picked the colors. But Wendy was going to "make her as fabulous as she is", so who knows how that will turn out.
[Meanwhile: with Lynsie]
"I don't know...Are you sure this looks okay, Wendy? I don't want to look like a dork."
"Trust me. You're going to knock them dead at that party."
"Thanks. I'm just so nervous about going out like this. I feel so weird."
"You're just getting used to being out of your comfort zone."
"Are you sure I can't wear my pants under this?"
"No. And be happy we found a decent pair of shorts."
"I am grateful. Even if I don't sound like it. By the way, big thanks for getting the guys out of the room for this."
"Of course. Us girls have to watch each other's backs. No way I was going to let them watch you dress."
I give her a kind smile and she pats my back.
"Come on...Let's show you off."
"I'm not a show pony."
"For this weekend, you are. Now stand up straight, arms at your side, and let your mind blank out so you don't get stressed. I recommend doing that last one now. You look like you're going to freak out."
"Sorry. Still nervous. I just need a minute."
"Can't wait, daddy needs you now."
That sounded so weird to me. It's enough of a distraction for Wendy to push me out of the dressing room and to where everyone seems to have been waiting for me. Great, more reasons to make me a nervous wreck. And the looks I'm getting are not helping!
"Everyone...Meet my greatest masterpiece!"
Wendy plays like a showman and can't help my sheepish habits. I avert my gaze to the floor, following the lines in the thick stone, and rubbing my arms to sooth away the uncertainty consuming my soul.
"Lynsie here is featured in this lovely imperial red and black vintage Victorian styled floor length ball gown. Featuring short sleeves, empire waistline, and square neckline, which we've chosen to accent with our traditional spike bands on her neck and wrists. The skirt is ruffled and this top tire is pinned with tiny skulls, very très chic. Topping it off, I thought to really show her off, I made her a Koopa shell. I based it on your shell, King daddy. You know, the one when you're Dry. The shell is a charcoal gray with dark red spike-rings and scarlet spaces between its plates. To further doll her up, I let her hair down and took her long bangs to make this looping braid-tail that is sporting this crimson bow with your emblem on it, King daddy. Other than that, I hid her dark eye circles, gave her a tiny bit of blush, and finished her off with light red lipstick."
Why do I get the feeling the next thing to come out of her mouth is going to be "can I get a starting bid of..."? I feel like a piece of meat being eyed by hungry wolves. I hate this part of being female.
"Wow, King daddy, you look so handsome!"
"Of course he is. He is the King after all."
I don't know if Wendy and Kamek are just being sweet to him, but it works in getting to my curiosity. My eyes creep up and when I see Bowser I end up blushing under the makeup. While not as spiffed up as I am, Bowser in a tuxedo is still a sight for the eyes. A rich black two-button styled suit with dark red trim on the jacket pockets and lapel. It also sports a solid matching black vest and dark red undershirt. All the buttons and even his cufflinks are made to be his personal emblem. The finisher on him is cute bow tie that replaces his normal spiked collar, though he's kept the ones on his arms. Honestly, the guy is stunning even if it is a bit odd to see him in pants and shoes...Holy crap, he's in shoes?!
"My King..."
My mind blanks right there so I curtsey to save face. Bowser too seems to be blanking out, so he puts his left arm behind him and while his right arm cradles his front, he bows like a gentleman.
"Lynsie."
I blush.
"Mama!"
"Sugar!"
Jr. and Roy come trampling in, ready to pounce on me. But Wendy, as she's told me before, has my back, and uses her rings to stop the boys in their tracks. I'm a little shocked that Iggy didn't follow with them, but seeing me be girly isn't really on his radar of interesting so I assume he went off to do something more fun than this.
"Oh, heck no. No way are you two mussing up my hard work."
Ow...Was I really such a train wreck before?
"Let me out of this thing!"
"Please Wendy. I just want a hug before they go."
Jr. knows how to play Wendy while Roy is too demanding to get himself out of moments like this.
"It's fine, Wendy. Release them."
Oh, hi brain, nice of you to come back.
"Are you sure?"
"Wendy, let them go. I want to give my boy a hug."
Seems like Bowser's fine too. Wonderful.
Wendy lets Jr. go, who happily runs up to his Papa before coming to me for some love. But Roy is still bound and not happy about it.
"Hey, what do I look like, chopped liver? Let me go already!"
"You didn't say please."
"Wendy!"
Bowser overrules her and she sighs in defeat while releasing Roy.
"About time..."
Roy steps over to me and I feel this weird energy from him. It's probably the guilt I feel for what happened last time I saw him. If he's going to yell or hit me back I'd understand, I deserve it. But then, why does he have such a mixed look on his face?
"Sug-...Lynsie...I...Man, this is harder than I thought."
He's stressing so hard about this that sweat is starting to form on his head and his fists are balled up. I know not what his intentions are or what he means to say, but whatever it is, I don't let him try to do so. I render him surprised when I put Jr. down to embrace the bad boy bully.
"I'm sorry. I was such a jerk. I didn't want to hurt you. Please...Forgive me. I was in so much pain..."
He returns the hold and nuzzles into my ear.
"Shhh...Sweetheart, it's okay. Don't work yourself up or your gonna end up all teary-eyed."
"You're not mad at me?"
"Mad? Nah. Confused is more like it. But we can talk later. Right now, just knowin' that you're okay...That's all that matters to me."
Damn it, don't cry. He told me not to. Body, for once listen to me and don't cry!
"Roy..."
*CLANK*
The heavy doors to the castle open. A Lakitu floats in after catching their breath, the door was a real workout for them. Lakitus are Koopas who employ clouds as vehicles. However, Lakitus have a rather different appearance than a normal Koopa Troopa; Lakitus have very different heads with much smaller, circular noses, all generic Lakitus wear thick goggles, and Lakitus have a ring pattern on their shells rather than the hexagon pattern featured on those of Koopa Troopas and Hammer Bros. Also, while most Koopas have no hair at all, Lakitus usually have about three small strands of hair or a small clump of black hair.
"Your Highness...*gasp* The carriage is ready...*coughs* Oh, I need to get in shape."
Bowser looks at me and I let Roy out of my arms.
"I have to go now."
"I know. But I'll be waitin' for ya, sugar."
I smile and give his nose a kiss before going over to Jr. then hugging him tightly.
"You'll be good while I'm gone, won't you sweetie?"
"I can't promise I will. But I'll try for you, Mama."
"I love you, Jr.."
"I love you, Mama."
I smooch Jr.'s cheek and let the giggling boy down.
"Come along, Lynsie."
"Yes, my King."
And so, we exit Castle Koopa to board without a doubt the most expensive looking carriage this world has ever seen. Seriously, this thing in the right light will blind you. That and the Chain Chomps will eat you, but you won't see it coming. And they're in the control of a single Chomp Bro. A Chomp Bro is a large, muscular version of a Hammer Bro and wields Chain Chomps as their weapon. Bowser sees the look on my face and smirks.
"If you think this is cool, you should my solid gold train."
"...You have a solid gold train?"
"Yep."
"Dude...How rich are you?!"
"Let's just say it's good to be the King."
He chuckles to himself as he gets in and I'm made speechless.
"Hurry up. I don't want to be late."
I shake my head clear and go inside. As soon as I close the door, the diver waits about five seconds before he snaps the reigns and parade of Chain Chomps take off. I take a seat across from Bowser, doing so gives us both some room to ourselves, and he takes this time to unwind. He opens a huge cooler that sits in the center of the area and wastes no time in popping open a can of Super Soda.
"Want one?"
"Maybe. What else is there?"
"Let's see...Super Soda, Courage Soda, Mixed Shake, Long-Last Shake, Special Shake, Shroom Shake, Super Shroom Shake, Ultra Shroom Shake, Power Punch, Able Juice, Banana Juice, Fresh Juice, Healthy Juice, Mango Juice, Stamina Juice, Herb Tea, Koopa Tea, Vibe Tea, Zess Tea, Mighty Tonic, Tasty Tonic, Warm Cocoa, and of course Bottled Water."
"Whoa. Pass me a Courage Soda. I feel like I need the boost."
"Nervous?"
He tosses the bottle at me and I twist it open.
"Yeah. *drink* I'm hoping this will drown the butterflies in my stomach."
"When did you eat butterflies?"
"*snicker* It's a figure of speech."
"Oh. Well, you don't have to be nervous."
"No?"
"They're people like everyone else. Some have a fancy title, but they're still people. Just relax and be yourself."
"Thanks."
He holds up his can.
"May fortune smile down on us."
I do the same.
"And may the stars grant us success."
We chug our drinks and hope these wishes come true.
"Oh! By the way, my King...You look good."
I can't say that without blushing and noticing this makes him smirk.
"Oh? Do tell."
"Well...If I had to put it in words, I'd say you look the perfect balance of danger and charm. Both fascinating and inaccessible, possessing such strength of character that it's dismaying yet at the same time utterly attractive in an enticing but forbidden way. In short, you're handsome as heck."
I was hoping to sway him gently with my words. What I end up doing is dropping his jaw and having him look away moments later with a deep blush while tapping the soda can's lid. This Courage Soda works better than I thought.
"T-Thanks. You aren't half bad looking yourself."
I understand. I said too much and made things awkward. Best fix the mood.
"Peach will adore you as well."
"Yeah. I can't wait to see the look on her face when she sees me."
With that, we continue to drink and enjoy the ride from the Koopa Kingdom all the way over to the Mushroom Kingdom. He really is a good man, King Bowser Koopa. As much as I know Peach will reject this and anything he does, I do wish this plan to go well. If only to keep him happy and see him smile.
Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.
If there are any questions, feel free to ask.