Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^
The road to the Koopa Kingdom to the Mushroom Kingdom is a winding zany ride if one were to look at it on a map. From Dark Land, we make our way through the land's haunted forest to reach the Rock Zone, a land that features many tall mountains, high cliffs and deep caves that protects the borders of the Koopa Kingdom. Passing this, there is Jungle Zone, a tropical rainforest with poisonous water, and Bramble vines that block some of the paths. This is where we must take the first back road to avoid hazardous things and the next zone. The Water Zone is made up of several tropical islands, therefore, most of it makes rather good use of the swimming power-ups. Now while there are bridges that we can cross, Porcupuffers have made homes living under them and they have a tendency to jump up and attack those that dare cross above them.
Now Porcupuffers are a species of large, garishly-colored Cheep Cheeps, they resemble gigantic indigo Cheep Cheeps with red lips and blue, cyan, and yellow spikes all over their back. Their faces are nearly identical to those of Boss Bass, Big Berthas, and Cheep Chomps.
Cheep Cheeps are a common fish around the world. They are found mostly in the water but they can jump out of the water as well. There are many different species of Cheep Cheeps, and they come in different colors, including yellow and green. The most common ones, however, are red with a white patch on their stomach, a yellow or white tail fin, a Mohawk-like dorsal fin and wing-like fins. They also have blue eyes and pink lips. Cheep Cheeps have fins shaped like wings and may attack above the surface of the water by jumping out in an arc. Given this, Cheep Cheeps seem to be inspired by flying fish, which behave similarly. When in water, they are extremely passive, simply swimming forward or in an arc.
A Boss Bass is a huge Cheep Cheep that eats seafarers. A mainly male line, they have a mouth-brooding counterpart called Big Bertha. Boss Bass apparently eat Cheep Cheeps, despite being a relative of theirs. They also have trouble distinguishing them from something else like friendly swimmers. Unfortunately, a Boss Bass will think that since it swims like a Cheep Cheep, it is a Cheep Cheep, so the huge fish will try to eat you.
Big Berthas are huge mouth-brooding female Cheep Cheep that lives deep in the sea. She has a man-eating counterpart of a Boss Bass. Big Berthas always carry Baby Cheeps in their mouth, occasionally letting them out. After a few seconds, the babies will return to its parent's mouth for safety till they are too big to fit.
Cheep Chomps are Cheep Cheeps that are bigger than usual and closely resemble a Boss Bass. These Cheep Cheeps are purple with a green back-fin and have enormous mouths and strange goat-like eyes. They are as much of a threat as their relatives and will try to devour swimmers.
The next zone is the Frozen Zone, a land of ice and snow. Here a pit stop is made so that thermal chains are placed on the Chain Chomps so they can traverse the cold much easier. Poor thing has me feeling bad that we ride inside the carriage. The next zone is Desert Zone, a harsh sun beat sand pit that requires another stop to take the thermal chains off before we can continue down the second back road. Aside from shifting sands giving us little to no traction, there in the far area are sinkholes and the top desert predator the Sandmaargh that can easily drag us into a sandy tomb.
Sandmaarghs are a variant of Magmaarghs that are made of sand instead of lava. They will follow their prey while hiding under the sand, waiting for the heat and exhaustion to slow the prey down, then when they get close enough, they pop out and attempt to bite down on them or swallow them whole. While underground, their shadows can be seen above ground, thus allowing smart enough travelers to see where they are hidden and watch their movements.
Magmaarghs are themselves a variant of Blarggs. They appear as large molten lava creatures with a huge mouth that attack by rising up from lava pools and biting down at anything in front of them. Like their relative the Magmaw, they seem to be mostly liquid, as they can pass through solid objects. Magmaarghs do not move very much, mostly staying under lava, arising to chomp down on anything in front of them.
Charvaarghs are a type of Magmaargh that attacks by jumping out of lava. This variant is most likely a sub-crossbreed of a -main parent Magmaargh and sub-parent Blargg. They resemble and act much like Magmaargh but have characteristics of the more saurian Blargg.
Magmaws are just a smaller kind of Magmaarghs and Blarggs are large dinosaurs commonly found inhabiting pools of lava in underground caverns. Magmaws live in lava and attack by opening their mouths and passing through areas. They seem to be mostly liquid because small objects can pass through their body. Much like their larger counterparts, Magmaarghs, they cannot be killed.
Blarggs resemble lazy-eyed lava dinosaurs, but some of them are blob-like beings with large mouths, small arms, and beady eyes. When approaching a Blargg on a Lava Lift, the eyes of the Blargg will be visible before they dip back into the lava, moments before lunging. Yoshies are capable of jumping on them and, with some difficulty, eating them, which is also the only way they can be defeated. In short...Evolution's weird in this world of ours.
Lastly, there's the Grassland Zone, the finale path entering Peach's main Kingdom. Various Mushroom Houses are also found around here, a cannon, and grassy plains with many colorful mushroom hills. It is a place where many live, such as Toads, Goombas, Koopa Troopas, Cheep Cheeps, and even me up till this point. That's so weird to think of. One moment, I'm going about my normal mundane life getting groceries and the next, I'm caretaker to a Prince then helping a King go to a Princess's birthday party before kidnapping her. Life is just as weird as how things end up evolving.
"You okay?"
I'm broken out of my thoughts by Bowser.
"Huh? Oh...Yeah. Just lost in thought is all. Sorry."
"You were making a weird face. Must have been something pretty big to make your gears crank like that."
"Not really. Just random things."
"*snort* Silly girl."
"How far are we now?"
"We should be coming up on the Frozen Zone. We've haven't moved for some time now."
"Is the carriage well insulated?"
"It should be. But just in case..."
He gets up and moves over to the seat along the wall opposite of the door, flipping it open to pull out quilts.
"We do have these. I wanted heated seats, but the guy told me it would be too much for it to handle. *pfft* I just think he was lazy."
He hands me one and I am quick to wrap up. I can't handle the cold well. I don't know why, but I just can't. He manages to cover himself just as the carriage begins moving again and no more than ten minutes later the temperature takes a noticeable dip. Thank god the quilt is thick or my teeth would be chattering as loud as a thunderstorm, though I can't stop the shivers that have me trembling underneath.
"Man...Remind me to kick the butt of the person who said no to the heated seats."
That gets a chuckle out of him.
"You cold?"
"*shiver* I could be warmer, yes. If only Wendy would've just let me wear pants."
"Now that's funny."
I give him a look.
"You got all that attitude, a real spitfire. Such heat in your soul and yet there you are...Shaking like the last leaf about to fall off the tree."
"I don't like the cold, okay. Sue me for being easily freezable."
I dig into the cooler for a thermos of Warm Cocoa and hold it to me for a bit before taking sips. Bowser just watches me. I know I look stupid, but what other choice do I have? The quilt is helping and so is the cocoa, yes. But once my core temperature drops, even a little bit, it takes what feels like forever to bring it back up again. In mid drink, I hear him sigh and when I look over, he's patting the seat beside him. I give him a look and he huffs.
"Don't look at me like that. I'm offering you a chance to be warmer. I'm not always going to show you this kind of treatment, so take it or sit there and freeze. It's up to you."
I want to accept his offer and yet at the same time, I feel like he's pitying me. I don't take pity. It insults me. But is this really something I have to fight? He's making a real offer and not sounding like a jerk about it. I suppose I can put my pride away for this. After a bit of silence, I get up and take my seat beside him. What I expect is to just sit here and bask in his radiating warmth, what I didn't think he would do is pull me to be under his arm so that I'm pressed up against his side. His really, really warm side.
"Whoa..."
"You should have no problem keeping warm now."
"So toasty..."
I rub his side a little to find the most heat and he squirms a little, either this feels weird or he's ticklish.
"Thank you."
I give him a nuzzle of appreciation before returning to my cocoa. All the while the big bad boss beside me is blushing bashfully which boosts his boiler like heat. He draws back the curtain of the window closest to him, distracting himself with the scenery outside, though the arm around my shoulders tends to fidget from time to time. This actually feels nice. Very cozy and comfortable. I am contented.
"My King..."
He doesn't look at me but does make a sound of acknowledgment.
"I don't know if I've said this before, but...Thank you."
"Hmmm?"
"I know you didn't have to make me Jr.'s caretaker..."
"I kind of did at the moment."
"And you didn't have to treat me as kind as you have..."
"You're good practice for when I have Peach."
"Can I finish without you making me regret this?"
He motions zipping his maw.
"*sigh* In short...You didn't have to do any of the things you have for me. Whatever motives you had for doing them, you need not tell me, it's none of my business of why you do things. But for whatever the reason, I want you to know that I'm grateful to you for doing so."
Now he looks at me as I cast my eyes into the dark thermos of nearly gone warm chocolate.
"I have lived a mundane life. Nothing exciting or super about it. But then by random chance, I end up at your home and just like that, everything is different. I was given responsibility. I was given choice in whether or not to enjoy this new misadventure. And from my choice to embrace this new part of my life, I have found friendship in Jr. and the Koopalings. I see Kammy and Kamek as these wise parent figures that can be looked up to. And you yourself, my King..."
I glance up at him and smile.
"I look at you, not as the one I work for, not as the one that I do things for out of debt, or as one I am held captive by. I see you as a brilliant King, a wonderful father, and a great man to whom I am lucky to share life with."
I look ahead of me and close my eyes.
"I know not what is to come after this party's end. But I want you to know something...Regardless of the events to come..."
I open my eyes once more.
"I swear my loyalty to you and you alone. You truly are MY King."
I drink what remains of my cocoa as he is left in complete shock. That blindsided him. No one would expect that. I just denounced my home Kingdom for loyalty to its enemy. I have effectively become a willing traitor to the Mushroom crown in favor of that of the Koopa King. Sure, this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened, such as with the Goombas, and I have made my favor for him well known. But this...This is an open confirmed declaration. Confirming that which was long believed.
"You...You're serious?"
"I am."
"You'd denounce your Kingdom and loyalty to the Toadstool crown?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"My King...What makes a Kingdom? What sets it apart from any normal person that owns some land and calls themselves a lord? A Kingdom is a land that is allowed rule by a person or persons that the people see fit to govern them. Strong individuals that can do what is best not just for themselves, but for the good of all that look up to them. A person of royalty is one who is supposed to see the Kingdom's well being. You are a true King and it is plain to see it. Princess Peach does not do this. She has done nothing to benefit the Kingdom. She uses resources to benefit herself alone. The King is gone, no one knows what happened to him besides her. Maybe Toadsworth knows, but if he does, he's keeping silent. She does not ensure the safety of her people, that is abundantly clear based on how often attacks happen with no defensive strategies in place. She is a royal with no control, no help, no clue how to rule, and no knights to protect the land or it's people. At the rate this goes, she will lose everything. Her only fallback plan is to have the Mario Brothers help, but that's only two ordinary men and she calls for them when things are at their worst when the trouble could've been prevented easily. I will not follow a blind leader that is doomed to have us go off a cliff to our death. She has not earned the right to rule nor has she earned my loyalty. You, my King, have done so. As such, I pledge myself to you and the children."
He looks at me with reverence.
"You've been thinking about this for a long time. Haven't you?"
"I have. I have been thinking of moving out of the Mushroom Kingdom for quite some time. But I would always talk myself out of doing so for one reason or another. But now...Now it feels right."
I put the thermos back in the cool and he pats my head before gently stroking my hair.
"You're a sweet girl, you know that?"
"I try."
"You don't have to move."
"No?"
"When I marry Peach, her Kingdom will be mine."
"Oh."
"As a reward for your service, I will grant you a title and a castle to match it."
"No thank you."
"No?"
He is confused and frankly, so would a normal person when told this story.
"I do not want a title or a castle. I am fine with my little house and serving you as I am."
It takes a moment before he chuckles.
"You really aren't like other girls."
"I take that as a compliment."
"I always thought women liked the finer things. Like money, gold, and bejeweled rings."
"Sorry, but...I don't believe in frettin' and grievin'; why mess around with strife? I never was cut out to step and strut out. Give me the simple life... "
He snaps his fingers and I continue.
"Some find it pleasant dining on pheasant. Those things roll off my knife; just serve me tomatoes, and mashed potatoes; give me the simple life. A cottage small is all I'm after, not one that's spacious and wide. A house that rings with joy and laughter and the ones you love inside. Some like the high road, I like the low road, free from the care and strife. Sounds corny and seedy, but yes, indeedy; give me the simple life. "
He laughs.
"Did you just make that up?"
"Nah. It's an old song I'd hear on the radio when I would live with my grandparents."
"Oh. ...Are they still..."
"No. They have long since departed."
"My apologies."
"It's alright."
An awkward vibe spread inside the carriage. Suddenly, the carriage stops it's drive once more. Looking out the window, we no longer see the pale white of ice and snow, but the sun baked yellowy orange of the desert.
"Seems we're almost there."
"We're making good time too."
"Would it be okay if I rest my eyes for a spell? Heat makes me weary."
"You too? Yeah, you can nap. Might take one myself."
While Bowser removes his quilt to use it as a pillow, I keep mine wrapped around my body. My body still in need of warmth even while the temperature begins to climb. I wait for Bowser to make himself comfortable before I do the same at his side, though doing this seems okay with him, as he doesn't speak up about it, I probably should've asked before doing so. It takes some time before the temperature reaches that point where it makes me sleep, but eventually, I nod off and Bowser does so shortly after. The ride is a pleasant one. It makes the dreams all the more enjoyable. Though it isn't long before the large hand of my King starts to rouse me from these dreams and I try not to be cranky about it.
"*groan* What's going on?"
"We're close."
I rub my eyes and straighten up.
"How can you tell?"
"See for yourself."
I look out his exposed window and indeed he's right, we're in the Mushroom territory. The land is green and prosperous. The colorful hills seem to smile in the bright sunlight and the obliviously happy-go-lucky Toads go about their merry way.
"It's sickening sweet just how happy and innocent they are. Like this is some sort of paradise where nothing can go wrong. How delusional."
"Are you ready to aid me in shattering that delusion of theirs?"
I give pause for a moment...Then smile.
"I serve you without question, my King."
He grins as we return to our seats. It won't be long now till we arrive. The grand castle is within sight.
The castle is of grayish white marble, the highest tower emerging from a wider circular tower underneath in the center of the castle. The main shape of the castle is a rectangular, with nearly four towers supporting this part. The roof is a shade of red, a balcony is in front of a window is at the front of the palace, an image of Princess Peach shown in the stained-glass of the window. The castle is a huge palace with many rooms and secrets. There is a living room, a conference room, a library, a bedroom, many storage rooms, and the lobby is connected to the ballroom. The castle also has a basement, the floor of which is oddly coated with water. The castle grounds are also quite spacious, including a courtyard located behind the castle. There are plenty of trees that can be climbed up, and the land itself is quite large. A body of water surrounds the castle, which eventually leads into a small pond. Several vases full of flowers on the grounds surrounding the castle and a simple fountain finish it.
[Outside Princess Peach's Castle]
Two guardsmen Toads take a break to play a round of cards. Toads are fairly short humanoids with human skin tones. Possessing the appearance of young human children, Toads are among the smaller races of Mushroom Kingdom. They have dark, beady eyes while they also possess stubby feet and typically possess almost no visible legs. Their most recognizable trait is their large mushroom caps and small bodies. It is never clarified if the mushroom is a cap or part of their physiology as occasionally Toads have pulled it over their face like a hat. Typically, Toads either have white caps with red, blue, green, yellow or purple spots. However, some Toads have caps of inverse colors such as red, blue or pink caps with white spots or light brown caps with dark brown spots. Although the Toad species resemble humanoid fungi, they may or may not actually be mushrooms. This is just one of the great mysteries of the universe.
Toads generally wear simplistic clothing in the case of males wearing vests that typically reflect off the color of the spots on their mushroom caps. Some female Toads are shown to also sport vests; however, they also wear long dresses. Toads also sport pants of a white color that resemble the base of a mushroom or toadstool stalk. Most Toads also sport common brown colored footwear. Dryites prove that some Toads possess different wardrobes based on the area they're from. These Toads wore tagelmusts and desert clothing while also possessing tanned skin.
While one can assume gender roles on Toads base on their appearance, but in fact, they are really a species that is actually genderless and merely take on gendered characteristics. Many typical "male" Toads don't appear to have hair. However, many "female" Toads appear to grow hair under their caps as do some male Toads. Male Toads are shown to have grown facial hair. All Toads generally have no noses or ears.
Toad guards serve as the protectors of the Mushroom Kingdom and Princess Peach. They typically wield spears and shields, their uniforms are a classic mantle. These shields have Peach's symbol, her crown, emblazoned on the front. Like normal Toad citizens, Toad guards are not particularly brave, often asking for help to complete dangerous missions instead of doing so themselves. For example, when Bowser launched an attack on Peach's Castle, the Toad guards request Mario to protect the Princess, although that is the Toads' official duty as royal guards, one of Peach's bodyguards even hid behind Peach when Bowser was in front of her balcony.
With these two, however, their main job this day is to escort guests of their Princess inside to enjoy the festivities. All notified guests have already shown up, so this easy task of watching the front door was the perfect time to slack off. That is of course, till they heard barking. Returning to their posts, the ground begins to shake slightly. The thundering trample of Chain Chomps starts to slow down once they get on the castle grounds.
The beasts come to a stop at the behest of their master atop a mighty magnificent carriage that pulls up at the castle steps and the two guardsmen are confused. All the guests have already shown up and are inside, even if they did have to double check that Wario was invited because he lacked an invitation it was deemed okay by Peach since he came as Waluigi's plus one. So who could this be? Surely there are no revealing clues to the passenger's identity on any part of this decked out ride. The large door opens. And much to their surprise...A well-dressed woman in a Koopa shell emerges.
"Halt!"
"Who are you?"
I step down and mentally rip my ears off at how screeching their voices are. I know some Toads have a rather deep voice that sounds much like a young adolescent. But most Toads, like these two, have very high pitched and almost child-like voice. It's like that of a small hyper child, often screaming in a high voice or cheering loudly in their normal speech.
"I am here for the party."
They shoot me looks.
"State your name."
"All guests have arrived. Who are you to barge in?"
"Me? I'm no one special. I'm just my King's consort."
Now they are really confused and I'm shocked that even came out of my mouth. A consort is usually the companion or the spouse of a reigning monarch. Sure, in my case I'm the companion but still, others might think its the other thing. Bad Lynsie, bad girl.
"Your King?"
"Consort?"
See? Look what you did now. Now they think you're involved way more than what you really are.
"Please. Allow me to introduce my King. The one, the only, the epic...King Koopa!"
I hold out my hand into the carriage and Bowser's large claw takes it as he exits the stage.
"Bow before Bowser, or feel my wrath!"
The Toads scramble, running around like fools before crashing into each other and shaking while pointing their spears at us.
"Y-Y-You don't s-s-scare us."
"G-G-Get out of here. Y-Y-You big meanie."
Bowser merely chuckles.
"Put your toothpicks away, I'm not attacking...for once."
"Y-Y-You're not?"
Bowser produces the stolen invitation from his lapel pocket and hands it over to the guards.
"I believe this is the part where you two shrimps take us inside."
They huddle nearby.
"Should we let them in?"
"I don't know. It is Bowser after all."
"But this is a real invitation from the Princess. She told us to let in all that had her letters."
"Yeah, but Bowser wasn't on the guest list."
"We can hear you!"
They flinch and look back at us. Bowser is impatiently tapping his foot and I now hold Peach's gift box that I retrieved from inside the carriage.
"Are we going in or do I have to roast some mushrooms?"
They panic.
"No no! No need to do that!"
"Come! Right this way!"
"*huff* About darn time."
Bowser nudges me and puts his arm out, making me blush a little at the implication.
"Make it look good, Lynsie."
I nod and loop an arm around his.
"I shall not disappoint."
The Toads open the doors and head inside with us following behind. We tread what feels like endless halls, making me miss roaming through Castle Koopa, but in time we do make it to another set of doors with a huge star emblazoned on it. They open doors and there are some party sounds that abruptly stop upon the two of us being spotted. Inside is Princess Peach, Princess Daisy, Lady Rosalina, Pauline, Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi. All of them seem to be wearing their normal clothing, apart from the guys who are just sporting black bow ties so that they count as formal.
"*whispers* Um...I think we overdressed, my King."
"*whispers* Call me by name or this will look really weird."
"*whispers* I believe that moment has passed already."
"*whispers* Smart-aleck."
"Guards...Why is Bowser here?"
The Toads proceed to approach their Princess and explaining the situation. All the while we get so many weird looks. I especially feel most uncomfortable with how Waluigi and Wario are looking at me. But this is what part of my mission is, to get guy attention, no matter how weird it feels. But looking around, it's interesting to see the real faces of those I've only known about from books I've read.
Mario, the hero that goes on adventures to save Princess Peach from Bowser and older fraternal twin brother of Luigi. Mario is a stocky young man I believe to be twenty-five in age yet the mustache makes him look older. Mario wears a trademark red cap with his red "M" insignia, has brown hair, blackish dark-brown mustache, blue eyes, and is the shortest person here that isn't a Toad with him being 5'1'' tall. He has a long-sleeved red shirt which is tucked under a pair of white gloves and has a noticeable collar at the neck. Layered over the shirt is a pair of blue overalls with yellow buttons. On his feet is a pair of light brown work shoes. Mario's dungarees are more like denim and have additional back pockets.
Luigi, Mario's younger, taller fraternal twin brother who is often stuck in his brother's shadow. Compared to Mario, Luigi is slimmer and taller being 5'9'' despite them being the same age. His face is noticeably thinner, his eyes are slightly more bluish, and his hair is the same style as Mario's, but more of an auburn or dark maroon. Luigi's mustache is dark brown, sometimes black, and smooth, unlike Mario's ragged mustache. Luigi also wears clothes similar to Mario, but his shirt and cap are green instead of red. Layered over the shirt is blue overalls, which are a darker blue than Mario's. He also has brown work shoes, again darker than Mario's, with tan bottoms that reach above his ankles. The Luigi Cap is similar to the Mario Cap, being green instead of red and having an "L" replace Mario's signature "M". Mario and Luigi's color preferences are reflected throughout the land in the form of various enemies, such as Koopa Troopas and Cheep-Cheeps, who also come in red and green varieties. These foes even reflect the brothers' personalities, with red ones being more aggressive and green ones acting cautiously. Some people even theorize that it may be some sort of rule that younger brothers must wear green.
Princess Daisy is the princess of Sarasaland and is a tomboy with an affinity for flowers. At 5'11'' and twenty-five in age, Daisy has blue eyes, fair skin, and orange-tinted brown hair. She has round cheeks, a button nose, thin, nude-colored lips, and large round eyes with thick black lashes on the sides. Her hair is long with a flipped style and parted bangs. She has an average weight and height, being shorter than Peach but taller than Luigi. Daisy is represented by the colors yellow, orange, and green. Daisy wears a yellow, floor-length gown with white and orange accents. The details of the dress include puffed sleeves with white, petal-shaped openings, a white, petal-shaped collar, orange panniers at her waist, and orange frills at the opening of her dress. Her accessories include short, white gloves with petal-shaped openings, orange heels, a gold crown with red jewels on the sides, earrings, and a brooch; her jewelry is coordinated with green gems and white, petal-shaped rims.
Rosalina, while not a Princess, is a very powerful figure, as her duty is to watch over and protect the cosmos, while also serving as the adopted mother of the Lumas, and commanding the Comet Observatory. Rosalina is taller than most at 7'7'' with her height being due to the weightlessness of space, rivaling Waluigi's height, and bearing a resemblance to Princess Peach. Her age is unknown, but she has stated to have been in space for hundreds of years. However, Rosalina's skin is paler, her eyes are a lighter shade of blue with six eyelashes, and her hair is platinum blonde, a lighter blonde than Peach's, that also reaches to her waist. She wears purple nail polish and has a large bang which obscures her right eye. Rosalina wears a gown said to be a color that only exists when the sun peers out of the clouds. Her brooch and earrings are star-shaped, while her crown features star-shaped patterns engraved into it. Her brooch and crown are silver, as are her high heels, while her earrings are golden. Rosalina also wears a few jewels, including a gold jewel inside the brooch and crown jewels that are pink and turquoise. Her gown cuts off at the top of her chest, where a powder-blue flap loops around, and has long sleeves with wide openings at the bottom, which are topped with powder-blue frills. At the bottom is another power-blue frill that loops around until turning up to a point at the middle; under this a layer of a petticoat is visible.
Pauline, the mayor of New Donk City in the Metro Kingdom and Mario's first love interest...Awkward! Pauline has pale to dull blue eyes, long wavy burgundy-brown hair and pale skin. She has large slanted eyes with four long eyelashes at the top and three smaller lashes at the bottom, a total of seven, coupled with long defined arching eyebrows that thin out as they extend. Her nose is triangular in shape with an oval shaped face and pointed chin. She is wearing violet eye shadow, dark red lipstick, and nail polish. Pauline has a curvy hourglass figure, in comparison to other girls here. She is the second tallest woman here being I believe 6'10'', just being beaten in height by Rosalina and appears around my age. Pauline wears a fitted red halter neck dress with a bow knot connecting the straps behind her neck, and a low cut back. The dress finishes just above her ankles and loosens to flair out about a third of the way down her legs. Pauline's accessories include a gold bangle on her left arm and large gold bead and teardrop style earrings. She also wears black ankle strap high heel pumps.
Wario is an obese, muscular, hot-tempered, and greedy man, and Mario's yellow-and-purple clad arch-rival. According to the Wario World book I found, Wario weighs 308 pounds (140 kilograms), although he declares it's just his clothes. He has broad, muscular arms, a large belly, and his excess fat overlaps the openings of his overalls; it is known his arms and legs are pure muscle meaning the rest of his fat must be stored elsewhere that I rather not know. His skin has a fair complexion, his nose is pink, large, slightly pointed down, and he has large nostrils. Wario's mouth is square-shaped, as is his head, with blocky teeth and a fixed grin. He also has a round, thick, cleft chin. He has round black-eyes, shaped by his cheeks and arched brows. They are outlined with a light blue, baggy, ring similar to Waluigi's. He has very constricted pupils and his iris is a very dark shade. Wario is actually not as short as he appears. He appears much wider than others and he's noticeably taller than Mario at good 5'7'' tall even thoughthey're both the same age at twenty-five. In fact, Wario is about as tall as Luigi regardless of his stout appearance, but he is still shorter than others such as Peach and Waluigi. Wario has light brown hair, the same color as Waluigi's. His hairstyle is similar to that of Waluigi's, having small flips at the back, swooped up bangs, and styled sideburns. He also has a black, large, zigzag shaped mustache. Wario wears a plumber outfit similar to that of Mario, Luigi, and Waluigi. Unlike them, however, his outfit has some details not shared with his counterpart, Waluigi. He wears a yellow cap with a white streak on the rim, a yellow T-shirt and a purple overall with white buttons, and green pointed shoes. His cap has a blue "W" that exceeds the white spot space it is inside. He also wears white gloves with his blue "W" printed on it. Wario's primary color, yellow, is an opposite color of purple, Waluigi's primary color, on the RYB color model.
Waluigi is Luigi's very tall and skinny rival and Wario's partner. At a surprising 7'1'' tall and twenty-five in age, he appears around normal height due to his knees always being bent. Waluigi's outfit includes a purple undershirt under usually very dark indigo overalls which are occasionally pure black, orange shoes, and a purple cap that covers his short, brown hair. He has a large pink nose, a thin mustache which is straight horizontal and pointed up at the edge, and gray eyes, his eyes are surrounded by light blue rings. He also has long limbs and a skinny torso. The yellow symbol on his hat and gloves is a vertical mirror image of Luigi's "L" which forms a "Γ", just as Wario wears a "W" in contrast to Mario's "M". Just like his partner, Waluigi is the extreme form of his rival. While Luigi is tall and skinny, Waluigi is taller and skinnier, just as Wario is short and obese in contrast to Mario. According to the Wario's Warehouse site, Wario routinely puts Waluigi on a rack to make him even taller. Luigi´s facial elements are also exaggerated in Waluigi. Waluigi has a very sharp jaw and a pointy chin. Waluigi's sharp, handlebar mustache is an exaggeration of Luigi's soft and fluffy mustache. Waluigi's clothing also is similar how Mario and Luigi's color scheme is somewhat the same. Mario and Luigi have the similar colored pants, with their signature colors being opposites red and green. With Wario and Waluigi, the signature colors are still opposites yellow and purple, and their pants are not exactly matching, but they are a different shade most of the time like Mario and Luigi's, as Luigi's pants are just slightly darker.
And of course the birthday girl, Princess Peach Toadstool herself, ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom. Peach is a young, fair-skinned woman with an average almost hourglass figure, and a rosy complexion. At twenty-five in age, she is taller than most humans here standing at 6'1'', exceeded only by Rosalina, Pauline, and Waluigi. She has a soft, oval face with large blue eyes framed by six lashes, and thin dark blonde eyebrows. She has long, flowing golden-blonde hair with both V-shaped and fringed bangs, and a single two thin locks framing her face. Her overall physical appearance suggests that she is in her early 20's and is much younger than the brother, but seems to be a bit older than Princess Daisy. I don't know really. Peach wears a floor-length pink gown with puffy sleeves, a high collar, deep pink panniers at the waist and a ruffle of the same color at the hem. The dress has a sapphire brooch, set in gold on Peach's chest, and she wears round sapphire earrings. Her crown is golden with four jewels: two rubies and two sapphires. She wears white evening gloves beyond elbow-length, deep pink high heels, and a white petticoat under her gown.
After a bit of talk with the guardian Toads, she approaches us and I can't help the lump forming in my throat from building nervousness.
"Bowser...Where did you get this invitation?"
"In the mail. Where else?"
He says that without missing a beat. I'm impressed by his cool under pressure.
"Oh really? Then do explain why you had this when Wario didn't and he was supposed to get it?"
"Hey, don't get all huffy with me because some mailman can't do their job right. What matters is that I'm here now. So after coming all this way, getting all fancy, making your gift, and promising my fair companion a good time, are you really going to make us leave?"
A tap on my hand gives me a signal and instinct has me making a sad disappointed look to further our chances of remaining. Luckily, this tactic works. Her face going from judging suspicion to soft acceptance.
"Very well. But you have to promise not to cause any trouble. Understand?"
Bowser holds up his right hand and bows his head.
"I promise I am here purely to celebrate this glorious day all about you, Princess."
He's good. This guy is so good it's scary.
"Thank you. So...Who's your friend? She's pretty."
My bashfulness beats me, making me look away while blushing.
"This is Lynsie. She's my consort and caretaker to my children. Say hello to the Princess, Lynsie."
I can't bring myself to speak for fear of my words coming out stupidly, so I do my best curtsy and bow my head while offering the box.
"Oh. Thank you."
She takes the box and Bowser pats my head.
"Forgive her. She's just nervous about being here."
"Awww...Please. Feel free to mingle and enjoy the party."
Okay, this is going well and she seems fine. Maybe this will be easier than I thought. Maybe I can relax. Peach leaves to place the box amongst the other gifts and Bowser leaves me to sample from the buffet spread. Now on my own, my wallflower tendencies start kicking my butt and I feel like hiding in a corner.
"Um...Hello?"
Luigi makes an attempt at being nice, though his shyness is as obvious as my own. He keeps his head low and his arms are behind his back while his feet rub against each other.
"H-Hi. Heh...Sorry I'm a bit nervous. I'm not used to this whole party scene."
"It's-a okey dokey. I don't-a get to come to many parties either."
That makes me smile.
"I'm Lynsie."
"I'm-a Luigi. Nice to meet you."
"Say, uh, I know we just met and all. But if it's okay with you, can I ask you a personal question?"
"Um...I guess. Nothing too personal please."
"Of course. I respect others need for some things to remain unknown. *ahem* What I was going to ask is, are you and Princess Daisy a legitimate couple? It's been hinted at for some time and gossip started portraying her as your answer to Mario's Peach."
He blushes big time and fiddles with his fingers.
"It's-a bit complicated. You see...I really like Daisy. Like...A lot. Awwww, she makes my heart go badda-bing badda-bum badda-bing badda-boom badda-boom-boom-boom. *lip pop* But I think she just sees me as a friend."
"Really? But I thought she was the one to make those giant golden statues of the two of you holding hands and dancing together, along with the other statues of you two as babies swinging each other on the Daisy Circuit race track."
"She did. And some-a times she calls me sweetie. I like to think I might be brave enough to propose to her someday. Awwww, boy I have to give her a lot of spaghetti meatballs and garlic before I ask her to that. One day, I'm going to get the nerve up and I'm going to do it. Yeah. I gotta say, 'Uh, hey Daisy, uhhhh, uhhhh, uhhhh, hah, oh, uhhhh, uhhh,' and she's gonna say, 'Are you trying to ask me if I marry you?' and I say, 'Oh, uhhhh yeah, I uh, woow, oh I uh, yeaaah.' And she's gonna go, 'Okey dokey'. At least I hope so. That would be nice, huh? But as of right now...I think she just wants to help me. You know? Build up my confidence. I've been Mario's sidekick for so long...I know a lot of people feel bad for me. N-Not that helping Mario is a bad thing. I love spending time with my bro. But I can never seem to come out from his shadow."
"Not true. You've saved him more times than he's saved you. You're faster than Mario, can jump higher than him, you can handle electricity, you're really agile, and you can summon the Negative Zone. Dude, you are so much cooler than Mario, I don't know why you can't see it. If anyone can be better than Mario, it's you. All you have to do is believe in yourself. Because if you think you can't do something, you won't actually be able to do it if you try. Think happy thoughts."
I take one of his trembling hands and poke the palm, making a little green ember sprout.
"See what I and others see. You are the hero in green. Green is the color of nature. It symbolizes growth, harmony, freshness, and safety. Green has great healing power. It is the most restful color for the human eye; it can improve vision. Green suggests stability and endurance. Sometimes green denotes lack of experience; for example, a 'greenhorn' is a novice. In heraldry, green indicates growth and hope. But your green, that is the traditional color of peace. Fire itself is a power of nature. Fire represents our passions, compulsion, zeal, creativity, and motivation. Fire has great power for forging will and determination. It is our inner light as well as a living symbol of the Divine fire that burns in every soul. It is a source of energy that requires careful moderation and control or you WILL get burned. Fire consumes but not without giving back warmth and light. It shines without remorse, sparking the darkness. So don't let the negative thoughts dim your fire, dear Luigi. Use it as fuel and allow your fire to burn as bright as you truly are."
My words stir within him, the little ember begins growing. From a tiny spark till it's a lovely ball of flame. And in its glow he smiles before closing his hands around it over his heart, smothering it out.
"Thank you."
I smile and give him a thumbs up.
"Anytime my new friend."
His eyes shine with hope.
"Friend? You mean...You'd really be my fr-waugh!"
Luigi is pushed aside by Waluigi.
"Wah, heh, heh, heh! My name is Waluigi."
"Nice to meet you too, mister tall, dark, and clearly needy for attention"
He just laughs.
"If I didn't know any better, I think you're sweet talking me."
Oh my god, I'm talking with the human equivalent of Roy.
"Why, my less than a good man, I do believe you're only hearing what you want to hear."
"Or maybe I can hear what you're really saying. Girls like to be all secretive and mysterious. Eh heh heh! Nobody pulls the wool over Waluigi's eyes. Waluigi knows everything. Waluigi already knows your little secret as well"
I look at him funny.
"What secret?"
"I'll tell you. But not here. I know of a secret room here. I'll tell you there."
"*snort* Sir, I think you're trying to lure me away with you."
"Maybe I am~."
Yep...I'm getting so many Roy vibes off Waluigi it's almost scary.
"It's a nice day for adventure. How about you and me go off on an adventure, hm?"
"I don't think Bowser would like this."
"That funny walking guy? He doesn't have to know. So what do ya say? You and me, Waluigi the superstar. Me, the best dancer in the world. And you, the finest looking girl here. What do you say bab-blblblblbl!"
As if karma knew to strike, Waluigi is bumped away by Wario and I am actually relieved by that.
"Wario here! No offense, but you are hot."
His boldness takes me by surprise.
"Uh...Thanks, I guess."
"You know, I ain't normal. And I don't mean that I'm stupid. I can do all kinds o' stuff that normal humans can't, you know what I mean? How 'bout that? Amazing, huh?"
"Oh yeah? Like what?"
"Oh, nothing much. Just that I'm filthy, dirty, gut-churningly rich! It's all thanks to WarioWare, Inc.'s success! That still hasn't stopped me from swiping stuff. Just the other day, I pilfered a couple of portable game systems! Well, then I fell and dropped them down a manhole. This old guy popped out and asked me if I'd dropped those two systems or this other system I'd never seen before. I lied and took them both! I know, my brain is amazing! It's full of wrinkles, and...Uh...Wait...What am I trying to say?"
"Dude. That is sneaky, cruel, and downright bad."
"Yeah. So?"
"I have one word for you...Cool."
It takes him a moment before that registers as a compliment and he rubs the back of his head bashfully.
"Yeah, well, you know. A guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do."
"Totally dude. So what brings you to this fancy place?"
"For real, this place is so crummy, if they didn't have free food and drinks, I wouldn't waste my time here. That and I know Peach, I don't want to be on her bad side."
Bad side? Peach has a bad side?
"Hello..."
Mario approaches.
"It's-a me, Mario."
"Hi."
"It's-a nice to meet someone new. We don't-a get many new faces around here."
"I've lived here for as long as I can remember. I just don't socialize like this."
"A pretty thing like you being here all this time? You must have been hiding really well to do that."
Waluigi teases and Wario shoves him as Mario coughs awkwardly.
"So...Um...If you don't-a mind me asking...You and Bowser?"
Wario slaps the back of Mario's head, knocking his hat off.
"Ow! My head."
"Geez Mario, you don't ask things like that to a lady."
Waluigi having regained himself, jumps on Wario, putting him in a headlock and the two now tussle. So I keep talking to the now re-hatted Mario and still shy Luigi.
"No, it's fine. I'm Bowser's companion. I work for him and take care of the kids. It's a sweet gig."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I know that seems hard to believe given the reputation of the Koopa and all. But honestly, I couldn't be happier."
"You know, you don't-a have to pretend around us. We know it must be hard for you to deal with that rascally reptile."
"I'm not pretending. Why would I need to pretend? I like Bowser and the kids. Is that really so weird."
"Well...Yeah."
"Look, I know you both have a history with the guy, but be for real right now. Why do plumbers have a beef with a King for?"
"Oh, we're not plumbers."
"Wha...?"
"I mean, we were plumbers. But that was many years ago. What was our slogan again?"
"We are the Mushroom Kingdom's plumbers extraordinaire! The Super Mario Brothers, what a pair! Do you have problems with your pipes? Is your water running right? Are all the fittings screwed down tight? If they aren't, don't despair! The super plumbers will be there! And there's no pipe we can't repair!"
"Ah, the good ol' days. We're mostly jacks of all trades types. We do the job that is needed and not stuck on only one thing for very long."
"Wait, wait, wait...Just how many jobs have you guys had over the years?"
"Well...Our core job total I believe is fifty-seven. But in total, I think...Luigi, what was it again?"
"One hundred and twenty was it last time I checked."
I'm stunned.
"Guys...Do you realize that's like over five or six lifetimes of work and yet you can't stick with anything?"
"Hey! We do a lot around here. Without us do you know how messed up the Kingdom would be?"
"I do. And I find that fact rather sad. Don't get me wrong, you two manage to pull off the impossible. But don't you think it's messed up that it IS only you two that have to do everything around here?"
Mario goes to speak again but the prove me wrong look I give has Luigi keep his brother quiet.
"If you'll excuse me, gentlemen. I wish to partake of what I'm hoping are some shrimp over there and maybe some...Oh snap! Is that a chocolate fountain?!"
I bolt past the boys to hit up the food.
"Glory be to the food gods!"
A giggle catches my ears as I grab a sandwich...It's Rosalina.
"I've heard a lot of things, but that was by far the most adorable."
"Thanks. I tend to say goofy stuff like that at random."
"My name is Rosalina."
"I'm Lynsie."
We shake hands.
"Forgive me for saying this, but I'm surprised you were able to make it to the party. The Comet Observatory sounds like it's a technical ship to run."
"You'd be amazed what one can do when you make a well thought out plan."
"That's true."
"So you take care of Bowser's children?"
"Yeah. I love those kids. They can be a handful at times, but I wouldn't change it for the world."
"I know what you mean. The Lumas are like my children. I'd do anything for them. They are my everything."
"Awww...Look at you two, bonding over your kids. That's so sweet."
Pauline steps over to refill her glass of champagne.
"You seem like a nice girl."
"I try."
"So...Big bad Bowser huh? Must've been one heck of a date to land that guy."
"I wouldn't say that exactly...We met when I was abducted, so, yeah. Not sure that counts as a date."
"Oh really?"
Princess Daisy comes over for some punch, but by the way she sounds, I get the feeling it's been spiked.
"Hi, I'm Daisy. And if I were you, I wouldn't take crud from that wannabe dragon turtle. You have to show that misfit who's really the boss. The moment he tries something, you slap him and send him flying into the sky without hesitation or regret."
"Daisy, my friend, how much punch have you had?"
"Not a bunch. This is only my fourth cup."
Pauline, Rosalina, and I all share a look of concern.
"I think she needs to be cut off."
"I'm fiiiiiine."
"Daisy, honey, you're sloshed."
"You don't know me."
"Come with me dear, I know a spot where you can sit down and relax. Do you want me to tell you a story?"
"*gasp* Yay! Storytime!"
Rosalina helps lead Daisy away, all while the Princess holds onto her and says all sorts of mushy things.
"Well, that was nuts."
"She'll be fine. The silly girl doesn't have much of a tolerance."
"Personally, I've never partaken of the tipsy sauce myself."
"Really? Good for you. You don't want to end up like Wario."
"That bad?"
"It's not that he has a problem. But more along the line of having no tolerance what-so-ever. Even a drop will mess him up."
"That's got to suck. If he's into drinking that is."
"Yeah. *sips* So...Are you and Bowser serious?"
"What?!"
That came out way louder than I wanted.
"I'm just saying, it's nice to see the guy moving on from Peach. I mean really...How long can you chase the same girl before you get the hint that she's just not into you? Am I right?"
And I'm uncomfortable again.
"There's my little spitfire..."
I'm suddenly hugged from behind by Bowser much to the amazement of Pauline and other onlookers.
"Coming out of your shell I see."
That can be a dirty innuendo in so many ways around him.
"I'm doing my best. How are you doing?"
"I'm having a blast. Heh heh...Oh! They got little cocktail weenies."
"Want one?"
Without giving any thought about it, I pick up a weenie by its toothpick and hold it up to his mouth, earning me some funny looks to add to Bowser's blush. Once it hits me that this is suggesting intimacy of romantic involvement, I am regretting so much that I let my guard down. I'm about to pull it away when he actually chomps on it.
"Mmmm...Tasty. Thanks."
That look he has. So sincere and kind...Why is my heart speeding up?
"You're welcome, dear."
Dear?! How many Courage Sodas did I drink?!
"Silly girl."
He lets me go and wanders off, leaving me rather befuddled.
"Wow...He really likes you."
"Please don't mess with me."
"No, I mean it. I've never seen, let alone heard of, him being that sweet with someone."
"That's probably because all the stories involving him paint him as a monster. He has flaws, but who doesn't? He's not as bad as everyone makes him out to be."
"I'm sure he isn't. Just like how Donkey Kong always taking me isn't traumatic."
That strikes a nerve.
"Don't give me that bull."
"Excuse me?"
"Donkey Kong, the original Kong, was Mario's pet and escaped because, let's be honest, Mario's not the best when it comes to animals. As revenge, Kong takes you and thus the adventure rescue happens. The original Donkey Kong's motive was revenge against Mario for not being a good pet owner, while the current Donkey Kong had three different variations of the kidnapping of you. In March of the Minis, it was due to his perceived rejection of his feelings in favor of Mario, and he took you away to shower her with gifts. In Minis March Again!, Donkey Kong appears to have kidnapped you due to theme park tickets being sold out. In Mini-Land Mayhem!, Donkey Kong just missed having the free Mini Pauline that was given to the first 100 guests of the theme park, so he takes the real you instead. Although the current Donkey Kong has ultimately proven to have harmless intentions, Mario still assumes the worst when the ape's brash temper acts up and causes him to take you away somewhere. Despite this, you and Donkey Kong remain on friendly terms and are stated to be 'close friends'. So don't go trashing Kong because you want to hate on Bowser."
"Geez, relax. This is a party after all. No need to get all crazy because I say a thing or two about your boyfriend."
Loyalty mode engaged!
"I disagree. I believe that entitles me to correct your mistakes."
"Oh please."
"Realistically, he's not a bad guy. A villain is a hero to those on the other side of the story. Some people will view him like he's wicked and that is how they come to see him. If his emotions get the better of him and he overreacts, that's the kind of person they think he is always. But that's not him. He may not always be the best, but he always does his best. You all judge him without even bothering to really know him. You only know the guy based on his actions. You don't know what that does to a person. The sadness. The anger. The feelings of being utterly alone even when with others. The feeling of just giving up on it all. But deep down, he knows only people like you see him that way. As a monster. It's those who are closest to him, the ones that care, we know who he really is. He's not the bad guy!"
A clawed hand on my shoulder draws me back into reality, allowing me to realize how loud I was shouting at Pauline and the number of eyes just gawking at the scene.
"You're letting the flame burn too bright, little spitfire. Breathe, and let the smoke die down."
Now I feel bad. I sigh and put my hand over Bowser's.
"Forgive me. I got hot under the collar and boiled over with steamy angst."
Pauline looks me over, then Bowser, then back to me and takes a long drink of her champagne.
"You're very passionate. You speak from the heart. I respect that."
"T-Thanks. Still, I'm sorry about going off like that. It's just..."
She shushes me.
"It's fine, I get it. You're sticking up for your man. I'd do the same thing if I were you."
That...That makes me feel so weird that it makes my head and heart hurt. I try to speak but Bowser beats me to it.
"Yeah, she's a real sweetheart, my little spitfire. Couldn't ask for a better gal."
I know this is all just a show of his, but damn it if it doesn't feel nice to hear such things.
"Come Lynsie...I wish to have a word with you, in private."
His hand on my shoulder squeezes with decent force and I nod.
"As you wish."
Pulling me aside and out of earshot, Bowser gets in my face with a look of puzzlement.
"As much as I want to thank you for saying all that, I have to ask...What the heck was that all about?"
"She was talking smack about you. I will not let some broad bad mouth my King when I know you are the greatest person in this room and beyond."
"As right as you are about that, you can't just blow up."
"I know. I feel like such a huge dork! I'm sorry. *groan* I knew I'd screw this up."
"Calm down. Look at me..."
He holds my shoulders.
"I have faith in you."
And just like that, I feel all sorts of stress leave my body as if fleeing into the air to ruin someone else.
"Thank you."
"Better?"
I nod.
"Good. But just in case..."
He grabs a red bottle with a picture of a rainbow star off a passing Toad server's tray and hands it to me.
"Drink this Pick Me Up."
"I said I'm fine. I don't need a booster."
"Just drink it, you courteous pain in my tail."
"Fine!"
Feeling my fire returning, I swipe it from him and drink with a daring glare.
"What? What's with that look?"
"*swig* I'm gonna woe the shell off of you."
My bluntness stuns him.
"W-What?"
"You heard me. This pain of a girl is going to sweep you off your feet and make all these dorks jealous. And do you know why? Because I just realized something...I don't care about any of these chumps. You're the only person here I give a Mouser's butt about, so why bother trying to fit some dumb image they assume from me? I'm gonna be me and do what I always do best when others look down...Not give a flying flip! So now, heheh...Now the real spitfire is loose, my King. I hope you can handle it."
Blush coats his cheeks before I see the fire burn in his eyes. I made a challenge and if one thing in this world is true, it's that Bowser Koopa never backs down from a challenge.
"Bring it on, spitfire! And don't you dare come at me with weak heat. I only want 100% raging inferno!"
"Yeah!"
I grab his smug mug and plant a big lipstick staining smooch his lips then pull away from the goofy Koopa with a grin.
"Whoooo! Let's get this party started! Yo, Luigi! You need to try this stuff!"
I grab another Pick Me Up and head over to the awkward Luigi while Bowser watches. Slowly the gears start turning in his head and realization hits. Feeling where the kiss was and looking at her, a new color of red burns his scales in mixed feelings.
"What have I done?"
"Mama mia, seems you're in over your head with that one."
Mario now standing near Bowser.
"Not now, Mario."
"Hey, what's-a wrong? The new girl too much for you?"
That made Bowser's eye twitch. What did that mean? Mario's been a player with women for years, any idiot knows that. The portly Italian has bounced from Pauline to Peach, then Pauline again, then back to Peach, then tried and failed with Daisy, back again to Peach, then back to Pauline, back to Peach, back to Pauline, then Peach, Pauline again, then Peach again, Pauline, Peach, Pauline, Peach, Pauline, Peach, failed with Rosalina, then returned to Peach, back to Pauline, then Peach, failed again with Rosalina, then back to Pauline, then again to Peach, Pauline, Peach, Pauline once more, then has stayed with Peach so far as of now. Why Peach? Why do you stay with this creep that's using you?
"What are you blabbering about down there, shorty?"
Ha! Take that, Mario!
"I'm-a just saying...She seems, I don't know, can't really put my finger on it. Um...Not your type, I guess?"
"And how would you know what my 'type' is? Lynsie's amazing. Heh...Way out of your league, that's for sure."
"I don't-a know. The girls, they seem to flock to me. I bet by the end of the party, even she'd swoon at the Mario charm."
If it weren't for promising Peach earlier, Bowser would so be pounding Mario into the floor till he was messy pulp.
"Mario...I'm going to say this as nice as I possibly can. If you mess with Lynsie is any way, I will personally go to your house, burn it to the ground, and make Luigi watch. Do you understand?"
"Oh, I understand..."
Mario steps away with a smirk.
"I understand you're scared I can do it."
The gall Mario has knows no bounds.
"You cocky son of a Birdo."
"Hey, it's-a me we're talking about. Mario. I'm-a always the hero. I'm-a always the winner. And you know what else?"
Mario looks Bowser square in the eye and smirks.
"I always get the girl in the end."
With that Mario leaves the now boiling Koopa who is holding himself back with every fiber of his being so he doesn't look bad in front of Peach. But this now calls for a change of plans.
"*muttering* You're a dead man walking, Mario. Your hat is going to be mounted on my trophy wall."
With that vow made under his fiery breath, Bowser returns to the party. Only now he had to be more mindful. On one side he was watching Princess Peach, his heart's desire, tending to a sobering up Princess Daisy with the help of the Lady of the Shooting Stars, Rosalina. Yet on the other side, he is eying Lynsie as she plays a game of "Feed Wario" with Luigi and Waluigi, taking turns tossing randomly dared items at Wario's big mouth while Pauline keeps score. She seems to be handling those guys well enough on her own. Mario on the other hand, like always, is the thorn in his side that threatens to undo everything.
This party was going to be the beginning of something bigger than anyone could have imagined.
Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.
If there are any questions, feel free to ask.