Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^

Hours passed. So far the party seemed to be doing well without incident, except for when Wario nearly choked trying to prove he could fit a large decorative vase in his mouth. Other than that, all was well. Good. Everything was good. No fights. No yelling. No trouble what so ever. Not even from a certain hero that dared to cause the Koopa King much rage by charming his fake girlfriend's favor.

There was one thing that did have Bowser feeling uneasy. Throughout the entire time they've been here, aside from their first interaction, Lynsie and Princess Peach hadn't engaged one another at all. Sure, he figured Lynsie was avoiding Peach so she wouldn't screw up the plan and staying around the guys seemed to be her niche where she fit in. But he couldn't help but notice Peach was making no effort to go near her either and seemed to be deliberately avoiding any area of the room Lynsie was in. Even going so far as to turn around after approaching the buffet table as soon as Lynsie went over to it.

This was very odd. And no reasons for such behavior could come to his mind unless she saw her as a threat. But that's just silly. Lynsie is no threat. Hell, the girl is as gentle as they come. All bark and weak bite. So what's the deal? Of all the things that he could've brought, another human seemed the lease harming. Maybe this was all in his head. Maybe these weird things were just coincidences that only made it appear like there is this strange tension pushing the two away. Either way, the girls will have to interact sooner or later. I mean, two people just can't avoid each other in a room all night...can they?

"Oooooh! Higher, Wario!"

"Wah ha...If you insist."

"Are you sure that's-a good idea, Lynsie?"

"Relax, Weegee...I'm wearing shorts under this."

Wario grabs my waits and throws me up high, almost enough the touch the ceiling.

"Dang. Almost had it that time."

"Maybe I should I throw her? I am taller."

"If you can think about garbing me without blushing then you can, mister superstar. Otherwise, no go to throw yo."

"I...um...*groan* Never mind."

"How much power this time?"

"I'd bet a good 20% more will launch our dear friend up there."

"You got the coin to back that bet up, Pauline?"

"You know me. I don't go anywhere without my purse."

"Score!"

For a bit now, this is how things have been. Just hanging out with what I have dubbed the cool ones of the party. I count Rosalina as cool too, but she's been busy attending to Daisy for the longest and I don't want to really have her around the likes of the Wa-bros. I mean bros in a buddy way and not the brother kind, they made it very clear when I asked that they were not related. They're just two sometimes nice yet evil guys who found each other and grew to like each other as partners. Wario and Waluigi's true relationship can be summed up as just a couple of weird friends being weird together. That's something I can respect like crazy.

And from our initial meeting, I can say Wario is now a good friend. Aside from calling me hot once, he's made no further remark or gone as nuts as Waluigi has with flirts. Heck, any guy willing to smack Mario is a friend in my book. Waluigi is a hard guy to work with. I want to like, while at the same time, I want to slap him. If I can somehow get him to stop being flirty, I think we'd be good, just like I am with Wario. Luigi is a guy I can get along with easily, mostly because our shyness gives us a base to work from and everything else spawns from it. While on the Pick Me Up drink, he's more open, though less than myself, it shows a side to him that he has trouble bringing out on his own. Pauline is a girl I can see as a maybe friend. We started rocky but she doesn't seem that bad once you get to know her. Rosalina, like I've said, is a pretty cool chick. Daisy, as soon as she's sober I'll check back on her. I do like her attitude though, that much is true. Boss Bowser seems okay. He moves back and forth between the groups, making polite conversation. Honestly, he looks normal when like this. It's rather charming.

Mario, I am unsure about. He lingers around, not with us but just away from the group to not warrant attention. Occasionally I see him go to Peach's side. I don't know them personally, but they act really strange for a couple in my opinion. Mario tries being affectionate but Peach just responds with basic friendly gestures. Mario saves Princess Peach quite often and she usually rewards him with a kiss on the cheek of nose upon her rescue and often bakes him cakes as well. They share good chemistry in sports games and have been good friends since childhood. They appear to have "romantic entanglements" of some sorts, all be it limited as far as the stories I've read tell. A weird account in the Prophecy of the Pure Hearts adventure is that both Mario and Luigi deny a relationship when Luvbi asks if Peach was Mario's "lady friend", Luvbi also comments that the princess "looms large in his regard" and then wonders if Mario had a "one-sided crush". Many other sources, however, do portray Mario and Peach as having an ongoing romantic relationship, such as Kingdom news articles listing Peach as Mario's girlfriend and sporting events calling Peach and Mario's team "Cutest Couple".

However, Peach has always maintained a friendly attitude towards Mario, although the matter of their true relationship remains unclear. It does seem she has concern for him like when Mario disappears in the story of Luigi's Mansion, she sends Toad to help Luigi search for him. She herself rescues all three of them from Bowser in the tale of Super Princess Peach. They also share good chemistry together as "buddy players" in baseball and kart racing Peach and Mario playfully bump each other. Numerous stories depict Mario and Peach as having mutual romantic affection for each other as well as a friendship. Peach is said to be the apple of Mario's eye. In the first Paper Mario book, one of the Toads tells Mario to take Peach on a date to Shooting Star Summit, and Rosalina refers to Peach as Mario's "Special One" in Galaxy story, with the two seen holding hands in the ending picture. During Power Tennis, he even went as far as telling Peach of his love for her in Peach's victory moment, which she responded to with a smile and a blown kiss. Though in that same moment, Luigi was there too and also took the sign of affection meant for him as well as Peach didn't specifically say it was for Mario. Most confusing indeed. I wonder if Peach is aware of Mario's past interactions with other women and is holding back from commitment till he's proven faithful. A wise move if I'm right, but also bad as it could make Mario seek out others for the affection he's not getting from her. Curse catch-22 paradoxes.

*Cling-Cling-Cling-Cling*

Everything stops and all eyes lock on Princess Peach tapping on a glass.

"Everyone, may I have your attention. *ahem* This has been a wonderful evening and I am happy all of you were able to come spend your precious time in my home. This may be my birthday, but it is more than that. It is a day that brings us all together. Friends. Foes. And new faces we've yet to know. So, now that dear Daisy is better and we avoid the punch from now on, I propose a toast..."

She holds up her glass of what looks like strawberry milk.

"No matter the path we walk, may the friendships we forge last long past any hardships we have."

She drinks and we cheer to her words.

"Now then. The hour is growing late. I'm sure you all don't want to stay here all night. So let's just get some pleasantries out of way so we don't end up dreading them later. If everyone can gather round we can get the embarrassing song over and done with, then cut the cake."

She motions to Toadsworth who then summons more Toad stewards to carry in the very tasty looking cake. Toadsworth is a sixty years old Toad and Princess Peach's longtime adviser. He has a southern English accent and often utters old-fashioned English phrases like "Tally-ho!" and "Pip pip!". He cares deeply for the Princess very much in a fatherly manner and has taken care of her since she was a baby, similar to Kamek and Bowser's relationship. Toadsworth has a tan complexion and a beige cap with brown spots. He has a puffy, white mustache, although there is some talk that is implying that his facial hair is fake. Like other Toads, Toadsworth is short and stout standing at the same height as all Toads of 3'5''. Despite his age, he is quite energetic. Wearing a light purple vest with gold buttons that have Toad emblems on them. Layered on top of the vest is a purple, sleeveless jacket or vest that hangs down like a tuxedo with gold trim. Underneath he wears white bottoms and brown, padded booties. He also wears small, black glasses and a red bow-tie. He walks around using a stick-like cane that has a brown mushroom cap on top with beige spots on it.

Now this cake...Oh, my god...No doubt this has to be the rare to make double layered Special Strawberry Cake, the ingredients need to be combined in the right order and prepared in the correct process or else it will ruin the cake, decorated with cream and strawberries. The first layer says "HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEACH" in strawberries and the second top layer has an image of her head surrounded by a heart made of strawberries. Hmmm...I'm starting to sense a theme here.

"Alright, on the count of three all of you...And a one, and a two...One, two, three..."

The room is filled with a mix of on and off-key singing of the good old "Happy Birthday" song. In a weird way it works, even if some people end up cringing. Toadsworth presents a small candle then Mario lights it, holding it up for Peach to symbolically blow out the fire of the past year and making a wish to come true in the next. She then cuts the cake, making sure there are enough slices for all.

"*giggles* Judging by the faces some of you have, I won't prolong it anymore. Dig in."

I've heard this cake was good, but once the baked confection hits my tongue, my mind explodes out the back of my skull with euphoric flavor. What I don't seem to notice is the blissful faces it's giving me and just how red-faced Waluigi is from staring at me till Wario elbows his side.

"*hushed* Quit eyeballing her."

"*hushed* I can't help it. Look at her."

"*hushed* I'm not blind, I know she looks good. But even you should know that this isn't helping your chances."

"*hushed* Then help me out."

"*hushed* And get on the bad side of scale face? Nah. Not happening."

"*hushed* Please? You owe me one for getting that Bottomless Coin Sack back from Captain Syrup."

"*grumbles* Fine."

Waluigi mentally celebrated. He always did know how to get his way when it came to Wario, after all, he is the 'brains' to Wario's 'muscle'. And this time around, his self-pity won't get in the way. For once, everything will go right for him and not someone else. Wah ha ha! Waluigi, the purple superstar! Purple combines the stability of blue and the energy of red. Purple is associated with royalty. It symbolizes power, nobility, luxury, and ambition. It conveys wealth and extravagance. Purple is associated with wisdom, dignity, independence, creativity, mystery, and magic. It also has the odd effect of causing frustration. Waluigi's purple evokes romantic and nostalgic feelings, gloom and sad feelings. Yellow is the color of sunshine. It's associated with joy, happiness, intellect, and energy. Yellow produces a warming effect, arouses cheerfulness, stimulates mental activity, and generates muscle energy. Yellow is often associated with food. When overused, yellow may have a disturbing effect; it is known to make babies cry and to issue warning. In heraldry, yellow indicates honor and loyalty. Later the meaning of yellow was connected with cowardice. Yellow is an unstable and spontaneous color. Wario's yellow represents caution, decay, sickness, and jealousy.

"Lynsie..."

Bowser's voice breaks my yummy trance.

"Yeah?"

"Would you want this?"

Perched on the tip of his claw is the biggest strawberry I have ever seen.

"Seriously? You'd give that to me?"

"Well...Yeah. They're a little too sweet to me and you really seem to like them so..."

I fight the urge to cheer like a like kid on Koopmas morning.

"T-Thank you."

I aim to pick it off with my fork, only it slips. I then bounce it, hoping to knock it onto my cake, but it soars back. In a last resort move and instinct is one heck of a control, I move backwards to catch it. This results in me losing my footing and falling flat on my back as the strawberry comes down.

"Are you okay?"

Rosaline asks. My answer is to hold up my not spilled plate of cake and sit up to see the strawberry locked in my teeth.

"*muffled* I got it!"

This actually gets some applause for a few of them, though Bowser sighs and comes over to help me up.

"What am I going to do with you, foolish girl?"

I just giggle before enjoying the silly fruit.

"You know that was cool. You just don't want to admit it."

"I'm sure Jr. would give you a ten out of ten."

"Yeah. Because Jr. is awesome."

He pats my head playfully and I smile.

"*quietly* Hey, Luigi..."

"*quietly* Yeah bro?"

"*quietly* The new girl...What-a do you think about her?"

"*quietly* Lynsie? Oh, she's really nice."

"*quietly* Anything else?"

"*quietly* She's funny too. She told a joke earlier that-a made juice almost come out my nose."

"*quietly* Besides that. While you were palling around with her, did she really seem like she was into Bowser?"

"*quietly* Mario, why are you asking things like this?"

"*quietly* Just being curious. Can I not ask my bro his opinion about a girl?"

"*quietly* Then why are we whispering?"

"*quietly* Do you really want the girls to hear us talking about Bowser's girlfriend?"

"*quietly* N-No...I suppose not."

"*quietly* You don't-a want Daisy to get mad and think you're having feelings for another woman, do you?"

"*quietly* No! Never!"

"*quietly* Good. Because I don't-a want Peach mad either and ruin her party. So you'll tell me what-a you know?"

"*quietly* Yes, Mario."

"*quietly* Thanks, bro. I knew I could count on you."

Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is associated with energy, war, danger, strength, power, determination, as well as passion, desire, and love. Red is a very emotionally intense color. It enhances human metabolism, increases respiration rate, and raises blood pressure. In heraldry, red is used to indicate courage. Red is widely used to indicate danger. Mario's red is associated with vigor, willpower, rage, anger, leadership, courage, longing, malice, and wrath. This is the side not well known to the people of the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario's boldness easily manipulates Luigi's timidness, a skill learned over years since childhood.

"So Rosa, great party, right?"

"Indeed. Most excellent of occasions."

"And this cake...*coos* You can tell this is really good cake and not that package stuff."

"It really does dance on the tongue."

"You thinking of doing this sort of thing more often?"

"Maybe. But I mustn't diverge from my mission. To protect the cosmos and find the Lumas real mother."

"Then what?"

"I beg pardon?"

"After you find their mother, then what? You stay all by yourself on that spaceship?"

"I...I'm sure I'll have company of some kind."

"Girl, don't get all jumpy. You'll always have a home here and in the Metro Kingdom."

"R-Really?"

"Of course! I can fix you up with the absolute best suite in my building."

"Thank you, Pauline. I will remember this."

"No problem. What are friends for?"

The two share a friendly laugh. Red also applies to Pauline, though her's is a bit different. Her shade is associated with joy, sexuality, passion, sensitivity, and love. Blue is the color of the sky and sea. It is often associated with depth and stability. It symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence, faith, truth, and heaven. Blue is considered beneficial to the mind and body. It slows human metabolism and produces a calming effect. Blue is strongly associated with tranquility and calmness. In heraldry, blue is used to symbolize piety and sincerity. Rosalina's blue is associated with health, healing, tranquility, understanding, and softness.

On the other end of the room, the two royal woman go over to the buffet table for a quick drink. Orange combines the energy of red and the happiness of yellow. It is associated with joy, sunshine, and the tropics. Orange represents enthusiasm, fascination, happiness, creativity, determination, attraction, success, encouragement, and stimulation. To the human eye, orange is a very hot color, so it gives the sensation of heat. Nevertheless, orange is not as aggressive as red. Orange increases oxygen supply to the brain produces an invigorating effect and stimulates mental activity. It is highly accepted by young people. As a citrus color, orange is associated with healthy food and stimulates appetite. Orange is the color of fall and harvest. In heraldry, orange is symbolic of strength and endurance. Daisy's orange corresponds to desire, sexual passion, pleasure, domination, aggression, and thirst for action. Pink is also part of the red spectrum. Peach's pink signifies romance, love, friendship and denotes feminine qualities and passiveness.

"Feeling any better now, Daisy?"

"Yeah. But I'll be feeling that in the morning. Any idea who spiked the punch?"

"Not sure. I would've said Bowser, but he wasn't here when it happened."

"Speaking of old flame breath...This must be a huge relief for you."

"Huh?"

"You know. With Bowser having a girlfriend, he no longer needs to kidnap you. Talk about the best gift you could've gotten today, huh."

"Oh. Yes, I suppose so."

"What's the matter? If I were you, I'd be bouncing off the walls, throwing confetti, and shouting from the rooftops."

"It's nothing."

"Don't tell me you...You don't like him, do you?"

"What? No. I don't like Bowser."

"Then what's the big deal?"

"Daisy...Do you know how boring my life was before Bowser began kidnapping me?"

"Not really. But given I don't get as much attention as you, I can take a wild guess."

"At first, I hated it. I mean, look at him. He's a beast. I don't care how dolled up he gets, he's nothing more than an evil creature that only seeks power."

"Hush your voice...You don't want Lynsie to hear you, less you want the lashing Pauline got."

"Do you think she scares me? *scoff* Any woman on Bowser's arm must be as uncouth and veil as he is. This, what they're doing right now, this is all an act. A show they're putting on to make themselves seem normal. So tacky."

"Whoa, harsh. How can you say that when you haven't even talked to her yet?"

"I don't have to talk to her. If she is with Bowser than there is nothing further I need to know."

"Look, I know things with the Koopa have been crazy in your life. But you are mixing messages here. You're unhappy that Bowser's got a girlfriend and won't kidnap you, but then you bash on the girl without even trying to understand her. You can't have your cake and eat it too."

"I can and I will. And how can you expect to understand how I feel or the things I've been through. The only bad thing to happen to you was when Tatanga the space alien invaded Sarasaland in order to marry you and make you his queen. Oh sure, he kidnapped you and hypnotizes all the land's inhabitants, enslaving them into his army. But once Mario defeats him, everything is all sunshine again. Heck, we don't even see or hear from you again till Mario opened a golf tournament."

"That's not fair, Peach."

"Fair? You're one to talk. You know Mario and I were together when he rescued you. Hope that kiss was worth it."

"We've talked about this. When are you going to get over it?"

"Get over it?! You kissed my Mario!"

"I didn't know he was taken!"

They are shouting at this point and everyone is watching.

"Oh, so that's how it is? You'll just kiss any guy that comes by to be the hero."

"You're out of line!"

"Really? Have you ever kissed Luigi? Because I'm willing to bet my crown you haven't."

"Girls, calm down."

"You stay out of it, hussy!"

"Hussy?"

"You're not innocent, Pauline. I can get over the fact you were Mario's first, but if you think I'll stand by why you keep calling him over to 'work on a new toy' then you've got another thing coming."

"Peach, I'm just friends with him. I help run Super Mini Mario World. And of course, I'm going to call him. Because I need his input on rides and yes, toys."

"A likely story."

"I know it's your party and you can rage if you want to, but honey, you need to get over yourself."

"What?!"

"I am mayor of New Donk City and in my spare time, I manage your man's theme parks and toy companies. I don't have time to fool around. If I'm going to waste time, then I'm going to do it by listening to some jazz music and lounging by the pool. Not make up fake reasons to have Mario come over and hear him talk all about you."

That seems to get to Peach enough that Mario attempts to step in as peacemaker. I smirk knowing this is a bad move, hell, even Bowser is trying to fight the smile this is giving him. Meanwhile, Wario and Waluigi are making bets on whether or not a catfight is about to start.

"She's right, Peach. Pauline is very business-minded, but not so good at fixing machinery."

"Are you seriously taking her side?"

"N-No, of course not. I'm-a just saying you're finding clues to something that-a doesn't exist."

Peach is livid. Fists balled up, arms straight at her sides, and a raging scowl on her normally cheery face. Lucky for Mario's sake, Toadsworth intervenes.

"Princess, forgive my intrusion. But I believe this will help."

He taps his cane on the floor and a ?-Block appears just above her. Once she hits it, the block disappears and produces a gift box.

"Toadsworth..."

Opening the box, she finds a beautifully crafted music box. Winding it up, the lid opens and obscures whatever it is inside from us onlookers, but her reaction tells all. Her eyes swell with tears and the soft music in lullaby form only adds to it.

"I...I don't know what to say."

"My fair Princess, I have watched you grow into the lovely woman you are today. In this time, I can say this much is true...Your parents would be very proud of you."

Toadsworth offers her a handkerchief and she dries her eyes.

"Thank you. And I'm sorry. Sorry to all of you. I'm most ashamed of my behavior. I hope you can forgive me."

Damn, now I owe Wario twenty coins.

"Daisy...Pauline..."

"I don't know. What do you think?"

"Eh. I'm not one to hold grudges or stay mad."

"Daisy?"

Peach gives her a sad pleading look and at first, Daisy turns away...Only to then glomp the birthday girl with surprised glee.

"Of course I forgive you, you big silly! You're my best friend. I don't want to lose you. Especially over some silly misunderstanding."

They hug and giggle in such a way that it's making my stomach want to hurl.

"Peach dear..."

Rosalina approaches the pair, holding a large envelope before offering it to Peach.

"What's this?"

"It's my gift to you. Since Toadsworth gave you his, I felt it only right to do so now."

Confused, Peach opens the envelope and a large fancy certificate comes out.

"Congratulations. You are now the proud owner of object GJ 504-b with the celestial address of 13h 16m 47.0s and declination of +09° 25′ 27″ on the epoch of Apr 12, in the constellation Virgo. Henceforth named...*gasp* Planet Peach, the pink princess of the galaxy!"

"To the one star that shines so bright in my eyes, I give you this one from the heavens."

"Oh my god, Rosalina! Thank you!"

"Happy birthday and may the stars shine on you."

"*whisper* A planet? Way to set the bar."

"*whisper* I know right?"

"*whisper* Relax, I got this."

"*whisper* Really? You can beat that?"

"*whisper* This is-a me we're talkin' about. Waluigi, superstar. Just watch and see."

"*whisper* Dude, if you can beat that, I'll sprout wings and call you Lord."

"*whisper* Heheh...No need for all that. But very flattering, babydoll."

"*whisper* ...I take back being nice now."

"*whisper* Awww, don't be like that."

"*whisper* Quit while you can my traitor friend. She's not interested."

"*whisper* How about a bet then?"

"*whisper* Go on..."

"*whisper* If my gift to Peach is better, then you gotta give me a kiss."

"*whisper* And if I'm right that you're wrong, then you pay Wario my betting wages."

"*whisper* Wha! *grumbles* Fine."

Waluigi and I shake hands.

"*whisper* But when I win, you better pucker up."

"*whisper* And you better pay. I don't shirk on debts."

"*whisper* Is it wrong that I'm-a enjoying this so much? Eh, who cares. This is going to be fun."

Wario makes note of the bet as Waluigi confidently strolls over to Peach and the rest of us just watch.

"Oh. Hello Waluigi. Do you have a gift for me?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. If you'd be so kind to take a seat..."

He pulls up a chair and Peach awkwardly sits down, looking unsure about listening to him of all people.

"You two still betting?"

"Yes, my King."

"Want in?"

"I might make a wager."

"Do tell."

"Ten gold on his gift being a lap dance."

I bite my tongue holding in laughter and Wario writes it down.

"Are you for real?"

"Just reading the energy."

"Doesn't that tick you off?"

"I'm betting on being wrong about it. I'd rather pay some coin then crack some skulls right now."

"Fair enough."

Back to watching the scene unfold.

"Comfortable?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Good..."

He goes over behind one of the tables and produces a guitar. Moving back over to Peach, he strums a few times till he gets the tune and then...He sings.

" Doo, doo, doo...Doo. You be my princess and I'll be your toad. I'll follow behind you on rainbow road. Protect you from red shells, wherever we go. I promise... "

All jaws hit the floor. Waluigi's speaking voice is so much different from this angel's dulcet tones.

" No one will touch us if we pick up a star. And If you spin out you can ride in my car. When we slide together we generate sparks in our wheels and our hearts. And The finish line is just around the bend. I'll pause this game, so our love will never end. Let's go again. Oooooooh...Ladadadadaa...Ladadaaa... "

Bowser pays Wario without looking away and I know I lost this bet by the sheer amount of red lighting up Peach's cheeks.

" The blue shell is coming, so I'll go ahead. If you hang behind, it'll hit me instead. But never look back 'cause I'm down but not dead. I'll catch up to you. Don't worry about Bowser or DK. Just Eat this glowing mushroom and they'll all fade away. And The finish line is just around the bend. I'll pause this game, so our love will never end. Oh, and the finish line is just around the bend. I'll pause this game, so our love will never end. Let's go again... "

Waluigi throws in some impressively smooth moves for the ending.

" To the mushroom cup. And the flower cup. And the star cup. And the reverse cup. Ooooooooh...Walawalawalawaa...Walawalawala Waluigiiiiii! "

With the plucking of a few final cords, the song ends and I among others find ourselves clapping. He takes a bow, coming back up with a pink rose for the swooning Princess. Then he makes his proud way over to the other girls, giving them each a rose in their respected colors. Pauline with red, Rosalina with cyan, and Daisy with orange. That's when comes to stand in front of me, cocky grin smearing his victorious face, he offers me a rose unlike the others, a black rose. I'm already a blushing fool at this point, but even more so when I go to take it and he halts me, pointing to his face and expecting payment from our bet. I sigh in admitted defeat and he chuckles before going in for a kiss...Only to punched clear across the room by Bowser.

"Kiss my fist, you skinny twerp!"

Lucky me the rose stayed put when it's holder flew and I got it before it hit the ground. I clutch the flower with an innocent smile as the Koopa King puts his protectively possessive arm around me. Wario just looks at me funny.

"Uh...You can pay me that coin later."

"Really? But I have the coin."

"Nah, it's fine."

"Okay, if you say so."

I'm oblivious to the "I'll tear you to pieces" look on Bowser, though it softens when he looks at me.

"You okay?"

"It's so rare. Black is associated with power, elegance, formality, death, evil, and mystery. Black is a mysterious color associated with fear and the unknown. It usually has negative connotations for being dark. Black denotes strength and authority; it is considered to be a very formal, elegant, and prestigious color. In heraldry, black is the symbol of grief. Black gives the feeling of perspective and depth. Black contrasts well with bright colors. Combined with red or orange, other very powerful colors, black gives a very aggressive color scheme. A black rose itself in the Language of Flowers can also mean farewell, rejuvenation or rebirth, or the start of a drastic change. An alternate meaning is 'pure devotion' since a true black rose is near impossible to produce. It's anything but normal and I love it."

"Oh..."

I stick it on his jacket much to his confusion.

"What are you doing?"

"It looks better on you."

Bowser bashfully looks away and rubs the back of his head.

"T-Thanks."

And so the gift giving continues. Pauline presents Peach with a mini windup Tinkertoy version of the Princess, a prototype similar to the Mini Marios. That toy buried the hatchet for their quarrel earlier. Wario presents her a large Pink Diamond he got in Glittertown from the Shake Dimension. So shiny! So pink! Is there anything lovelier that you can pull from deep under the ground? Probably, but we won't tell her that or that Wario later mentions he plans to take it back. The guy can only part with his treasure for so long before his greed demands it back. Silly man. But it's the thought that counts...right?

Luigi presents Peach with something he's held onto for a long time, the Quartz Charm. This "Shining source of power" was given to Luigi by Mario after the events of fighting Smithy in the Legend of the Seven Stars. To get the charm, Mario and his team had to defeat Culex. Culex is a being from a different dimension who desired to do battle with warriors from our world. He appeared to be a type of demon, having dark purple skin, red twisted horns and wings, a red mark along his torso, a jagged tail, and several crystals surrounding his waist. He also emanated what appeared to be dark energy. After Mario's victory, Culex rewarded Mario with the Quartz Charm and the door to his void vanished.

Daisy is next to offer her gift to Peach. This gift is a hard to find item called the Life-Up Heart. This heart-shaped item raises your maximum life value like normal heart items but is much more powerful. The heart itself is a vibrant red framed in gold and topped with a gold crown. A most impressive gift indeed. Mario then follows up with a custom figure of Peach in pink gold. Pink Gold Peach is posed in a graceful manner made of pink gold while her earrings, brooch, and crown jewels are made of diamonds. Looks like someone is trying to show off and hoping for some kiss-kiss action.

Lastly, it's my King's turn to reveal his gift to his long sought after love interest. But for some reason, he looks disappointed after Mario gave his gift.

"Bowser, do you have something for me?"

"O-Oh. Yeah."

He steps over to her with box in hand. I don't think I've ever seen him so nervous. Peach slowly unwraps the box and reveals this charming colored glass statute of the Princess.

"I...I made it myself."

This touches Peach. While I feel a pang inside.

"Awww...Bowser...It's lovely. You really made this?"

"Yeah. Well...I blew the glass and sculpted it. Kammy was the one to help add the colors."

"That's amazing."

"Thank you. I'm so glad you like it. Nothing makes me happier than to see a smile from you."

"Who knew someone like you could make something so wonderful."

That right there pisses me off. What does she mean by that? The man's a father, he has kids, sure seven of them aren't really his, but they're all wonderful. Who does she think she is saying that to his face! I move to come closer but a recovered Waluigi grabs my arm.

"Let go, superstar."

"As cute as hearing you call me that-a is, I can't."

"Why not?"

"I see that-a look in your eyes. You're about to go off again."

"No, I'm not."

"Please...Don't cause a scene, babe."

"One, don't call me babe. And two, I'm just going to explain to her that she is being incredibly rude and needs to apologize."

"Then why are your fists balled up?"

"Because if you don't let go, I'm about to deck you harder than Bowser did. Now...*growl* Let go."

He throws his hands in the air.

"Good boy."

I trudge my way over yet stop because of Bowser's continuing conversation with her.

"Haha, good one Princess. Your wit is as refined as you are."

"Bowser, if I ask you a question, will you be completely honest?"

"Of course! Your wish is my command. Ask me anything."

"Will you still be trying to kidnap me now that you have her?"

Making her point even further, she even gestures at me so he knows I'm near.

"Lynsie? I mean, I suppose that wouldn't make much sense to take you when I have her."

That made me smirk. I mentally chalk that up as a win for me. Peach apparently saw this and was irked by it.

"So she's your new 'gold standard', huh? And not even a princess. I suppose beggars can't be choosers."

The hell is her issue?!

"I'm sorry...But do you have a stick up your butt?"

"Lynsie!"

"What did you say to me?"

"Forgive her, Peach. She's just hopped up on boosting drinks. She's not in her right mind."

Now I'm mad. I pull him to look at me.

"What are you doing? Why are you groveling to her like you did something wrong?"

"I am trying to fix this before you screw this up for me. Now zip your lip and go wait in the carriage."

I'm no longer mad...I'm furious.

"My King...*deep breath* I'm going to forgive the things you say and ignore everything else up to this point because I know you can't help yourself when it comes to Peach. But...Hehe...You're out of your mind if you think I'm going to leave you with this indelicate woman."

"You dare call me rude?!"

"Oh, you misunderstand me. I'm outright stating you are rude. This man didn't have to come here. He didn't have to put in so much effort just for you. He didn't have to make you that gift. But he did. And then you insult him? Rude doesn't even cover it. You're shallow and petty."

The hate in Peach's eyes makes everyone, even Bowser, back away as she comes to stand in my face.

"I don't think you understand how things work around here."

"Oh, I do. I'm just the only one that doesn't care."

"Then you know that it's very stupid to make me mad."

"*mocking* Oh no. The Princess is gonna be mad at me. Boohoo. Whatever shall I do? *scoff* Kiss my butt! I don't fear you."

There is a wave of gasps and her face is steaming red.

"Big mistake..."

A sudden stinging pain strikes my cheek and then I see she's mover her hand...Did she slap me?

"Don't mess with the Princess!"

Oh, you foolish girl...You know not who you're dealing with.

"Again."

"Huh?"

"Again. Slap me again. Do it. Show me and these others how superior you are by striking me again."

"Do not mock me."

"Why not? You're a joke. Everything about you is laughable. You put yourself on this all so perfect pedestal when you are far from it."

"I'm better than you, that's for sure."

"You've known me for maybe less than five minutes, even though I've been here for hours, and somehow you can see just how much better you are? Woman, are you trying to make me laugh?"

"You're not a Princess! You don't know the responsibility I have."

"Neither is Rosalina and Pauline. Are you saying you're better than them too?"

"N-No...This isn't about them!"

"You're right. It's about you. Everything is always about you. Because if Peach isn't happy, no one is, right? You're so sadly narcissistic it's pathetic."

"I am not..."

"Let me cut you off there by saying I'm not the one whose face is piratically plastered on everything."

"I'm the ruler. It's normal."

"No, you're not the ruler. You haven't 'ruled' anything in your life. Now your dad on the other hand..."

"Don't you talk about my father!"

Oh my, someone has daddy issues.

"Look at you. Such a child that all you see is the play and not the puppets on strings."

"I am widely respected in MY Kingdom and beyond. My Toads are very loyal, and my citizens adore me. Many people in the Mushroom Kingdom and beyond buy and even collect merchandise of me."

"I know. Heck, Bowser made a purchase from one of you 'loyal servants' about an hour ago for photos of you."

"*gasp* You creep!"

"Hey! Don't get mad at him. You're the one that wants him to go after you."

"I do not!"

"Please. You were yelling it at Daisy earlier. 'Do you know how boring it was before Bowser kidnaps me'? You're the creep getting a sick kick by toying with his heart!"

"You're just jealous because you know he loves me and not you."

"I know he loves you, you moron! I'd have to be dead not to know! But I still care enough not to be a complete witch to him! The man worships you and you spit in his face like he's dirt! He can do so much better than some fake Princess that can't even rule over a can of beans!"

Again I feel the sting of her slap and again I just take it. The room filling with this odd sense of chills and heat.

"My King..."

My voice is seething but he does answer me.

"Yeah?"

"Permission to retaliate?"

Peach glares at Bowser and he flinches.

"No."

That makes her smirk.

"Look at that. Your so-called king bends to my will."

"He doesn't do so because he fears you. He does so because he likes you. People do and say things all the time that makes them look better to those they like. Do you think I wanted to wear this dress? Heck no! But I am because he wanted me to so it would impress you."

"*huff* You're trash. A thought. Just some little gutter scamp he's taken pity on. You're..."

"Are you done? Because I can care less what you think about me. Your opinion is worth a jar of Poochy's poop to me. The only person here whose words matter to me is my King."

"Then you're as moronic as that beast you call king."

I snarl, showing a bit of teeth.

"I'm warning you now. You can talk trash about me all you want. But speak ill of my King, and you will live to regret it."

"Is that a threat."

"I don't make threats. I make promises. And I always am true to my word."

Mario elbows Bowser's side to get his attention.

"Aren't you going to do something?"

"Me? Why?"

"She's your girl, right? Make her stop."

"And give this up? Heck no. I'm living the dream, shorty. Those women are fighting over ME. And besides, why don't you stop Peach?"

"I'm-a not risking my neck getting between them."

"Neither am I, shorty."

Mario whacks his face with his palm and groans as the fight escalates.

"Heh, not so smart threatening a Princess. That's an arrestable offense."

"Sure, arrest me for defending my King. That makes so much sense. Oh, while we're at it, let's throw the cuffs on you for all the messed up stuff you've done."

"Me? I've done nothing..."

"Exactly. You've done nothing. You do nothing. That's reckless endangerment. For crying out loud, Toadsworth could run this Kingdom better. You stand around, your head full of hot air from your self-centered ego, and do nothing. You don't benefit the kingdom."

"And how would you know?!"

"I'm thirty years old. Your dad was ruling while I was growing up and I know stuff got done while he was in charge."

"I told you not to talk about him!"

"Where is he, Peach? Did Wart take him away? Did he die? Why do people think he's still here somewhere? What are you hiding?"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! My father will not be the soapbox you stand on!"

"Must have been hard growing up. Dad keeps getting taken away. And when he's home, he's not really home. Too busy to play with his little girl."

"Stop it!"

"But even if he was too busy, you managed to learn one lesson from him, didn't you Peachy? You learned that people will pay attention to you if you're in danger."

"Be quiet! Why won't you stop?!"

"All the attention you got that first time you were abducted...Must be some sort of rush for you to keep it going this long. So many kidnappings and attacks on the Kingdom, yet not a safety precaution is taken to prevent things from happening. I wonder why?"

"Silence!"

"Admit it. You like stringing these boys along just so you feel like you matter. Do you even really care for the ones you call friends? They risk their very lives to 'save' you, but really, you make them do it for your amusement."

"That's not true!"

"Is it? You're not a pushover, Peach. I can feel the power in your slaps. I've read the stories of your abilities. While not very strong physically, you make up for it in technique and skill, not to mention fast and agile as well. You have the unique ability to float in mid-air and have impressive healing abilities. You occasionally have telepathic powers and can turn your cursed Toads back to normal from being bricks. You can put opponents to sleep and hip-check opponents so that they're engulfed in an explosion. You can even use hearts and the power of love to combat your opponents. So explain to me how you, with all that power, can't free yourself from whatever happens?"

"I can't escape! He locks me in a room!"

"Lair! You have free roam of his castle while in his custody! And by the way, I've seen that room of yours. It's custom made for you. All pink and girly. Yeah, a real chamber of horrors."

"You know nothing!"

"I know you're playing these people and this land for suckers. But I'm not falling for it. When Bowser captured Mario, Luigi, and Toads, it was you that came to the rescue. You traveled to Vibe Island, where Bowser moved his operations in order to obtain the Vibe Scepter. Eventually, you fought your way through the island's many hazards and rescued them all. Face it, Peach...You can flee from Bowser at any point and even beat him up, but you don't. You can save yourself with ease, but you make Mario do it or Luigi. You invite the rivals of your loved ones over just to make them look better after humiliating them. You probably only hang out with these girls so you can flaunt all this so-called success in their face just to make yourself feel good."

"No..."

"You paint yourself as the damsel in distress, but in reality, you're just a sad little girl seeking the attention you never received from the ones who were supposed to give it to you."

I turn my back on her.

"May the stars have mercy on your weary soul."

I start to walk away when I'm shoved to the ground.

"You talk like a Koopa, dress like a Koopa, and obey the Koopa King. If you love Koopas so much, then you can walk with your face in the dirt like those shelled freaks."

I can feel my will to be a good girl being overpowered by my need to beat her up.

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me."

I stand up and keep my back to her. Fists clenching in restraint.

"My King...Permission to retaliate?"

I keep asking out of respect to Bowser's wishes. I will not do anything without his okay.

"Stand down, Lynsie."

"That's right. Leave. Go back to that dump of a land that you call home and those disgusting monsters you call children."

My heart stops dead and I look at Bowser. His face is mixed with hurt and parental anger. There is no need to ask this time.

"Permission granted."

I grin deviously and turn back to the now regretting her words Princess.

"Peach...Now you've done messed up."

"Y-You wouldn't dare!"

"Wanna bet?"

"Guards!"

"Heh...Wussy."

Toad guards can be heard coming down the hall.

"Guess the party's over, huh my King?"

"Yeah."

"Oh well. It was fun while it lasted. Let me just grab the goodie bag."

"What? I didn't make any goodie ba-aagh!"

I sucker punch Peach in her gut and knock the wind out of her.

"No goodie bags? You're cheap too, Princess."

I toss her over my shoulder and salute.

"Lovely meeting you all, hope we can still be friends, gotta go, bye!"

I make a run for the exit as others try to go after me. But Bowser's got me covered, stomping on the ground to shake things up and blasting a dividing wall of flame between us.

"I can't believe we're really doing this."

"I can't believe you actually waited for me before you hit her."

"Hey, I may have a temper but I respect you more."

"When we get back, you're so getting a reward."

"Less talk of things to come. We've got company."

The summoned Toad guards fill the entry room and point their spears at us.

"No biggie. I got this."

Bounding ahead of me, Bowser tucks into his shell and spins into them like bowling pins, sending Toads flying everywhere before he pops back out to break the castle door down.

"Come on, spitfire, move it!"

"I'm running as fast as I can. She's heavier than she looks."

"Hey!"

I purposely smack her into the door frame on the way out and she's out cold.

"Careful with the merchandise."

"It was an accident."

"My shell it was."

"Bowser!"

We hear Mario yell.

"Don't-a think I'm-a going to let you get away that easily!"

And by the sound of it, he's making his way towards us.

"Time to make like a Boo, and disappear."

"Agreed."

We cram into the carriage and startle the Chomp Bro driver.

"Don't just sit there, get this thing moving! NOW!"

With a harsh snap of the reins, the Chain Chomps take off with great speed. Fleeing the castle grounds just as Mario and the gang reach the front door. Bowser can't help but stick his head out the window.

"Bwa ha ha ha! Suck it, Mario! I win! The Princess is mine!"

"*distant* You won't get away with this!"

"I already have, loser!"

He sits down and shuts the window with a satisfied chuckle.

"Oh man...Aside from a few things, I think that was the best party ever. What about you?"

"Eh. It was okay. I can cross something off my bucket list though."

"Yeah? What?"

"I can now proudly say, I have knocked the wind out of a royal windbag."

I say confidently as I finish binding her arms and legs in one of the curtain's really long cords.

"Hey, that's my future windbag you're talking about. The soon to be WIFE of Lord Bowser."

"Yeah-yeah, I know..."

I plop down next to him and stare at her.

"I still think you can do better."

He exhales softly through his nose and rubs into my scalp gently, almost kneading it.

"You're a sweet girl, Lynsie."

"Thank you, my King."

My heart hurts and I don't know why. I could go for a hug right now, but I don't think he'd be willing to give me one at the moment. I miss the kids. They always know how to cheer me up. Why does this hurt so much?

"*sniffles*"

"Hey...Are you...Are you crying?"

"I don't know. *sobbing*"

This sudden urge to cry unloads and I can't stop it. I shove my face into a quilt to muffle the sound so it won't bother him. However, this is already super awkward for him.

"Ah geez...Come on, don't cry. You know I can't stand the sound. *groans* Please stop. Everything's fine. We're okay. You, me, we're both okay. So, please...Stop crying."

"*muffled* I wanna go home. *shaky gasps* I wanna be with the kids. *shaky gasps* I wanna...*sniffles* I wanna...*sobs*"

I curl in on myself. I want to hide this from him. Crying is normal but I feel ashamed for breaking down like this. I'm so out of it in this sadness that I don't feel him hold me and sit me on his lap. His head rests atop mine, his arms embrace my trembling form, and he speaks softly in hopes to calm me down. Slowly, over some unknown amount of time, the sounds of sobbing subside and I eventually show my makeup ruined face.

"You alright?"

I don't feel like talking, it might set the tears off again, so I simply nod.

"Are you sure?"

I shake my head.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head again.

"Do you want me to keep holding you?"

I nod and sniffle lightly.

"Now now, none of that. Just relax. Maybe take a nap. It's a long ride, but we'll be home soon. There, you can be with the kids and everything will be okay. Sound nice?"

I nod again and lean more into his hold.

"Good girl. Just take it easy. You did good, Lynsie. You don't have to talk. We can just do this till you feel better. Okay?"

I nod weakly and shut my eyes. His body's vast internal warmth lulling my messed up senses to sleep. After a while, the sound of soft breathing lets the Koopa King know his little spitfire's light is out and he carefully moves her off him to lay on the seat beside him.

"Hmmm...Wonder what got her so upset. I know women can be emotional, but that...I don't know."

Looking over at the bound unconscious Princess on the opposite seat, Bowser felt like the luckiest man alive. This was it. Things were finally coming up his way. He swore he'd keep kidnapping Peach OVER and OVER until he pulled it off. That no one would stop him. Losing was not an option and neither was giving up. And this was it. His relentless tenacity finally paid off. Nothing was going to ruin this for him. Not Mario. Not Luigi. Not even Peach's reluctance. He had won. And it felt amazing.

Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.
If there are any questions, feel free to ask.