Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^
Morning came once more to one side of the globe. The Angry Sun, not to be confused with the real one, seemed to be in a better mood as it rose up to join its celestial counterpart. There was something in the air this day. Something uplifting. Something that, despite one Kingdom missing its ruler, had nearly everyone looking forward to the day ahead. At least, this was the feeling for those that had woken up.
Over in the Koopa Kingdom, a human girl was just beginning to stir and the one in pink. Lynsie let out a small yawn. Sleep was amazing. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept so soundly. She had to thank this wonderful bed for giving her such rest. Wait a second...Where did she sleep last night? She tries to look around, but her vision is too blurry. Come to think of it, her head is all dizzy too. Did she sleep too long? And the bed, who's ever it is, why is it...Is it moving?! Slowly her sight came back.
"Uh...Oh my..."
How in the hell did I end up like this? I have no memory beyond some point where I was drinking with Bowser. But this...Bowser is laying on his back, no shell on him, his mouth open and exhaling heated breath like a slumbering boiler furnace. Somehow, I've found myself laying atop his hulking body and one of his hands is draped over my back, slight twitching makes him clutch me a little as if making sure I'm still there.
"*hushed* What the heck happened last night?"
I'm still clothed, that's a good sign. My hair is undone, not bad. So far, this is okay. He's shell-less, normal for a sleeping Koopa. Is he...Oh thank the stars, he's wearing boxers. Wait, are those hearts? Now that's freaking adorable! All in all, not so bad. I mean, it could've been way worse. But this, this is fine. This was no different than when she snuggles Jr. or any of the other kids. This is just Bowser. Yeah! So what if he's my boss? Or that he's in love with that dumb bitch. He needed me and I was here for him. Yeah. Silly Koopa. He's this big bad guy and right now he looks more like a big cuddle bear.
"Heh...Funny. You're cute when like this. Thank god you didn't hear that."
"*snorts*"
"...!"
When he doesn't do anything after a while I sigh a long-held breath. I think I've stayed on for him long enough.
"Okay, big guy. Let me up."
I try to push myself up but his hand is heavy dead weight, I can barely make it on my elbows.
"Geez...Even when you're sleeping you're strong."
I fail to notice a faint smile curve the corners of his maw. I need to get up. If he rolls over I don't even want to think that I might be squashed. Maybe I should try a different approach. Shaking might work if he'd even notice my puny attempts that is. But I must try none the less. So, I put my hand on his chest and try to shake him.
"Rise and shine, big guy."
I do this for a while but to no avail. So much for that plan.
"Why'd you stop?"
I pale at the sound of his voice. The hand on my back begins moving up and down in small circles. His free arm moves to be behind his head and now he's looking right at me.
"That felt nice."
He smiles softly and I blink a few times in uncertainty.
"It...It did?"
"Oh yeah. A little chest massage is a perfect way to wake up. Thanks."
He...He thinks I was massaging him? Oh my god, I'm so weak compared to him that my shaking was nothing more than rubbing!
"Sleep well?"
I'm not really sure how to handle this moment anymore.
"I...Yeah. I slept well. You?"
"Best night I had in years. You are a great sleep aid."
Okay, this feels normal again.
"I think Jr. would agree with you there."
He stretches out with a big yawn and I feel so tiny.
"*yawn* You were amazing last night."
And just like that, it's not normal anymore. What did that mean?! Did something happen? Did I do something? Did he? Did we?! I have so many questions! Apparently, this conflict of questions can be seen playing out on my face and Bowser isn't sure whether it's funny or not.
"Uh...You okay?"
I snap out of this trance and make eye contact with him, causing him to flinch.
"Bowser...What happened last night?"
His cheeks tint in color and he takes the hand from my back off to rub the top of his head as if calming himself down from such a question right off the bat after waking up.
"How much do you remember exactly?"
I sit up on him, straddling his belly and rubbing my temples to relieve the pressure that comes with trying to recall things that are for some reason missing from my brain's archive. Though doing so has me forgetting what this must look like to him. A woman on top of him in such a position. Scandalous!
"I...I remember you brought me here. You weren't feeling good. I wasn't feeling good either. We...We started drinking."
I look over at the floor, the chalice I'd been drinking from is still there and the chair I sat in is spun farther back. Kind of like I got out of it in a hurry.
"Anything else?"
"I think...I think we were talking. About...*groans*"
"Don't try too hard. You'll hurt yourself."
"The kids...I think we said something about the kids."
He nods.
"We did. I plan on talking to them about, um, certain things."
"And...You spoke about the champagne."
"You found my knowledge impressive."
"Then...Then I think we mentioned Peach. *groan* It hurts...It's all blank after that."
My head is throbbing in places I didn't know could hurt. My whimpering gets to him. Now he moves, the hand that once held my back returns and holds me to his chest as he sits up then moves out of bed. I don't question this as he puts me down in the adjacent desk chair.
"Don't move and don't try to remember anything else. I've got what you need."
His wording today is really making me paranoid in all the wrong ways. He goes to his nightstand, opens a drawer and I hear a few things rattle around before he finds what he's looking for, then comes back to me.
"Open your hand."
I do as told. He pops open an orange bottle and drops two pills in my palm.
"It's aspirin. Extra strength."
He bends down and collects the chalice. He gives it a look before offering it to me and I tilt my head.
"Are you serious?"
"Just take a small sip to down the pills. Trust me, you don't want to take them dry."
The need to stop the pain overrides my reluctance to drink. I take the cup and put a small amount in my mouth. The pills go in next and are swallowed in a loud gulp. He was right about not wanting them dry. I shudder at the taste of them and stick my tongue out in disapproval.
"Give it about twenty minutes for it to kick in. You'll feel better soon."
"Thanks."
"Hey, it's what friends are for. Right?"
He pets my head and it earns him my smile. Too bad I'm about to ruin this.
"So...What else happened last night?"
He sighs and steps away to get his shell.
"Nothing happened between us if that's what's bugging you. We drank, we talked, we made each other feel a lot better than when we started. You passed out in the chair and I put you in bed with me because...well..."
He pauses to put his shell on.
"It's nice feeling someone else beside you. Know what I mean?"
Now I feel bad. Poor guy. He's so lonely. I get out of the chair, put the cup on his desk, and go to him. He watches me as I hesitate, I'm so nervous about this, I keep my eyes down and take his hand in both of mine.
"L-Lynsie?"
"Whenever you need someone, it doesn't matter why or for what reason, I just want you to know..."
I shyly look up at his slightly blushing face.
"I'm here for you."
His blush increases and he bites his bottom lip. I don't help matters as I give his arm a supportive hug. He starts trembling and now I'm confused.
"Bowser?"
He opens his mouth but doesn't get the chance to speak as there's a sudden knock on his door.
*knock-knock-knock*
"My Lord? Are you awake yet?"
Kamek's voice hits our ears and Bowser pulls his arm from me before he goes to the door. I use this moment to find my hair tie and get my wild mess of hair back under control as he opens the door.
"Yeah, what is it?"
"Ah, good morning, my Lord. I trust you slept...well...?"
Kamek notices me and is understandably confused.
"Slept like a log. Now get the point."
"Um...My Lord...Why is she...?"
Well, this is going to be awkward as hell. Best not stick around to see where this goes. I walk out, slipping right by the two and pat Bowser's arm with a smile.
"I'll see you later, my King. If I don't hurry, Jr. will wake up and go nuts. And no one wants that."
"O-Oh. Sure. You do that."
I continue on my merry way and wave while heading towards the Prince's room. Kamek's jaw is wanting to fall off while another part of him wanted to blast the girl that just innocently left the bedroom of his King.
"You were saying, Kamek?"
"Bowser..."
Uh oh. Kamek dropped the formalities. He only ever did that when upset.
"Twice...This is twice now that she's been in your chamber alone with you."
"It's not like that."
"Why the heck was that girl in there then?!"
Bowser respects Kamek, the guy raised him after all. But no one gives King Koopa attitude.
"I don't have to explain myself or the things I choose to do."
"Bowser, this is serious! It's one thing to go after Princess Peach. At least that one has something to offer that the Kingdom can gain. But her?! That girl is nothing. She doesn't offer the Kingdom anything. She's the only one able to gain anything from fooling around with you! She..."
"Kamek!"
Bowser grabs his father-figure/adviser and brings him inside the room, shutting the door before pinning Kamek to it up at eye level. This causes the old Magikoopa to sweat nervously.
"M-My Lord...?"
"I know you can't stand humans. I can overlook this. They haven't given you a good reason to trust them. But she...Lynsie is different. She's not like Pauline. She's not like Rosalina. She's not like Daisy. And she sure as hell isn't like Peach."
"How do you know?! How can you defend her?!"
"Because she actually cares about me!"
Bowser's voice trembled and Kamek could see his eyes beginning to shine more as water comes to them.
"I...I had my doubts...My suspicions...And last night...Last night I was able to get the truth. She has feelings for me. Me. Of all people. And the worst part is, she doesn't even realize it."
Seeing this emotional pain, Kamek sets aside his pride and goes into fatherhood mode.
"What do you mean, she doesn't realize it? Bowser...Tell me what happened."
The King of the Koopa sighs and lets the Magikoopa down.
"I wanted to know if all her kindness was real. I'm not proud of my method. But I got her to drink some of my champagne."
"You got her drunk?!"
Bowser blushes in embarrassment.
"No! Maybe? Fine, yes, but just enough so that she'd be honest with me."
"So what happened?"
"We got to talking. She was so nice with the things she said. Even I got a little kind towards her. Next thing that happens is she runs into my arms and kisses me."
Kamek smacks his face with his palm.
"Bowser, you can't believe her actions while intoxicated were real. It's the bubbles, not her."
"You don't understand..."
He drops to his knees and covers his face with his hands.
"It wasn't the bubbles. The way she kissed me...It was so sincere. All the bubbles did was give her the courage to do it. And you know what? I have no regrets about kissing her back either."
"You kissed her back?!"
Bowser uncovers his face, his eye swollen with tears ready to pour.
"Kamek...What happened last night made me feel the most love I've felt since Jr. was hatched."
Kamek is unsure how to take this news. His mind conflicted about whether or not to be supportive or upset. Bowser's happiness is his main goal, it's why he follows even his most unreasonable orders. Still, this was a human his pseudo-son was falling to pieces over. Which he did have to admit, this was far from the way Bowser gets for Peach.
"Should...Should I tell her what happened?"
Kamek's thoughts are broken by that question and Bowser's guilt filled eyes.
"Do you think she'll be mad? Ah man, why didn't I just tell her before she left?!"
"Don't tell her!"
Bowser looks at Kamek confused.
"But..."
Kamek puts his hand on Bowser's shoulder reassuringly.
"It's okay. As much as I really, and I mean REALLY, don't approve of this...I don't like seeing you like this. So...*sigh* Here's my advice."
Bowser looked hopeful.
"Don't tell her about the kiss. She doesn't remember it happening, right?"
"Yeah. She doesn't remember any of it."
"Okay. She doesn't know that she has feelings for you. If anything, that silly girl feels affection for you as simple care."
"Why?"
"Isn't it obvious, my Lord? She knows you have love for Princess Peach. Even if she does harbor feelings for you, we all know she respects you too much to stop you from going after Peach. Huh, it appears I owe that girl more credit than I give her."
"Then when do I tell her?"
"Never."
"What?!"
"If she does have feelings for you, then let her come to the realization of them. Don't make it feel forced because you tell her she did something that she can't remember."
Bowser growls to himself before sighing.
"I guess you're right. But what should I do then?"
"Let me ask this first...How do you feel about her?"
"Well...Before last night, she'd always make me feel warm. Like, I could look at her and see in those eyes a fire that has me forget she's human. But after last night...*coos* I want to feel that spark again and again nonstop."
Kamek groans at the mushy look that comes to Bowser. But as sickeningly sweet as it is, it did tell the old Magikoopa that his King did appear to have a thing for the children's caretaker.
"And what do you feel about Princess Peach?"
To that, Bowser's expression hardens.
"I love Peach. I have always loved her. I want her to love me...But I know this a pipe dream at best. Peach will never have feelings for me. It's not in her to love anyone but herself. I know that now."
"...Then, what about the marriage?"
"Oh, I'm still marrying her."
"R-Really? What about Lynsie?"
"She'll understand. She knows why I'm doing this. If anything, she might get laugh out of it. Me, marrying Peach only to ruin the fair Princess's reputation by engaging another woman with affection. Ah, to see the look on her pretty face when she realizes her perfect life is destroyed...Absolutely priceless."
Bowser stands up.
"Oh yes...I will be marrying her in spite, solely to take everything from her. If she has the nerve to string me along in her little pity game, then I'll show her the real meaning of a sore loser. No one makes a fool out of me or my family! Once we're made official, that woman is never seeing the light of day again!"
The fire in his heart reigniting.
"All of the Mushroom Kingdom will be mine! The land, the people, everything! There will be no stone left unturned that won't belong to me! And no one, not Peach or Mario, will be able to stop me!"
"Yes! That's the spirit! There's our King we know and love!"
"Bwah hah hah! Thanks, Kamek. I really do enjoy our talks."
"It's a pleasure, my Lord."
"Oh! Uh...Kamek...Can I ask you to help me with a favor?"
"Of course, my King. What is it?"
"Well...Can you help me to talk to the kids about them, uh, maturing into adults?"
Kamek is about to answer but then pauses.
"I beg your pardon?"
Bowser rubs the back of his head nervously.
[Meanwhile: with Lynsie and Jr.]
"Mama, what's this one?"
"No outside help!"
Kammy whacks her wand on Jr.'s desk, making the boy jump in surprise.
"Easy there, Kam-Kam. He's a kid, not a prisoner."
"*mumbles* Sure doesn't feel different on my end."
Kammy glares at the boy as I approach the desk. Today is Jr.'s monthly exam. If he get's a good enough grade, then he is given a reward that reflects it. I know he's hoping for an A. Getting an A allows him to pick the prize while grades lower than A have preselected rewards.
"What's the problem, sweetie?"
"Don't give him the answer."
"I'm not. Geez...Jr.?"
"What's this word mean?"
I look at the paper.
"A Gobblegut resembles a giant serpentine dragon with a row of numerous Bellyache Bulges, these are large pink swellings growing from its body. Its scales have swirl designs, though its underside lacks scales, thus exposing its pink skin. Gobblegut has a few jagged crystals protruding from its head, and it has a large bulbous chin that has numerous scars on it. It also has orange eyes with a demented look to them. A Fiery Gobblegut has several changes to his body from his normal form. First, his skin color is now lava red instead of spring green. Also, the body now radiates lava, burning any that touch it and creating pools of lava when it bites. It is only hurt when his bulges are spun, though the bulges are protected by surrounding fire. Describe in detail the metamorphic process of a Gobblegut transforming into a Fiery Gobblegut."
"Ah, now I get it. Thanks, Mama."
"Heh. No problem, sweetie."
I step back and return to my seat. Kammy circles Jr. a few times to make sure he doesn't cheat before taking a seat near me.
"You coddle that boy too much."
I fold my arms and smirk.
"I prefer to think of it as teaching through tenderness."
"Ever hear of spare the rod and spoil the child? Discipline is necessary for a good upbringing."
"I don't doubt that method. I'm sure it's worked for ages. But it's not something that is always needed."
"Till you have children of your own, let me deal with their disciplinary issues."
"As the caretaker, all matters involving the children are my business."
She gives me a look and I match it.
"You have spunk, girl."
"Thanks. But please don't think I mean to step on your toes. I respect that this is your area of things. I'm only asking to be included in the input, you know? Let my voice be heard even if it falls on deaf ears."
"Fair enough."
She eyes my back.
"Is that the shell Wendy made?"
"It is. I find myself rather attached to it."
"Huh...Looks good."
"Thanks."
She gets up to check on Jr. again.
"You're alright...For a human."
I chuckle.
"You aren't so bad yourself, Kam-Kam."
She cracks a smile and returns to the Prince. This goes on for some time. I occasionally have to help Jr. understand the questions and when Kammy isn't looking for some reason, I point out answers much to Jr.'s delight. Yet once Jr. is done taking his test, Kammy is the one that is to go over it while Jr. and I leave to do other things.
"Do you think I did well on the test?"
"Did you study?"
"Yes."
"Did you remember everything we went over?"
"Yeah."
"Did you remember not to draw mean doodles of Kammy?"
"I...I think so?"
"Then I say you did well."
"Yay!"
Jr. kicks his legs on my shoulders and I laugh as his little hands tickle my neck. The kid really enjoys piggyback rides.
"What did you want for your victory against the test of doom?"
"*snickers* It's a surprise."
I play pout up at him.
"Ah come on. You can't even tell me?"
"Nope. It's a super duper secret."
"You big tease."
He giggles as we come to the rec-room. Larry's been trying to get me to play video games with him, so why not play a couple rounds with the kids and buy Bowser some more free time to try smoothing out Princess Peach's many nasty wrinkles.
Lucky for the two of us, Larry is there to accept this challenge to his reigning title of King of Games. Onlookers include the other Koopalings, minus Ludwig, Wendy, and Roy. Iggy informs us that Wendy always stays out of the room when he plays games because they are "not to her standards". Ludwig is in his room and is finishing off his musical works that Bowser commissioned, apparently, he tends to get lost in his work when he hits "the zone". And Roy...No one could really say where he was or why he was absent from his normal hangout areas.
That worries me, but not too much. Roy is a big boy. He's close to hitting the next stage of maturity for his kind. He can be alone without needing watch. Still...It is odd not having him around. Yet Morton seems to fill in his normal role in the meantime. He delightfully snuggles me from the side as I am locked on the TV screen and using all my nerdy gaming skills to outplay Larry as Jr. cheers on.
The game in question...Super Koopa. What is it like? Think of a Mario video game in reverse. You play as Super Koopa, that is so Bowser in a red cape with a "K" on his chest, and play through levels beating up Marios and Luigis to get the Princess. In the newer versions, the multiplayer allows you to play as Bowser, Jr., any of the Koopalings, or Kamek and Kammy. It's honestly not bad.
Larry plays as himself, no brainer there. I first play as Bowser, just to get a feel for the game, but then I play as Lemmy because nothing is more of a power play than to win with the runt of your family members.
"*grunting* How are you doing that?"
"*giggles* What's wrong, Larry? Can't keep up?"
"Why are you so fast?!"
"Dude, it's not a secret. Every gamer knows to pick characters their good with."
"But you just started!"
"And did you ever check out Lemmy's stats? His speed is maxed out."
Larry growls as I grab the checkpoint again while he's about ten seconds behind me.
"Go, Mama, go!"
"Morton know you can do it."
"Guys, zip it! You're screwing my concentration up!"
"Calm down, Larry. It's just a game."
"And I don't like losing!"
I reach the castle and capture it before Larry this round. This doesn't go well with him as he fumes and rage-quits the game, shutting it off before storming to a chair in the corner to brood.
"Well, that was anticlimactic."
"You were awesome, Mama!"
"Morton knew you would win."
"I don't like winning like that. It's cheap. I demand a rematch!"
Larry answers this by picking up his chair and smashing it against the wall before looking at me.
"Okay...Rematch later? *nervous laugh*"
He glares but nods with a small grin. Note to self, always let Larry win...Always! Larry now sits on the floor and returns to his brooding, his knees bouncing in frustrated annoyance while trying to calm down.
"I thought you played well."
Iggy chimes in.
"Thanks. I just feel bad that I made him so upset."
"Don't take it too personally. He's the youngest of us and still in that stage where testosterone is going nuts in his system. I just fear what things will be like when Lemmy hits that stage."
I picture such a thing and pale.
"Good lord, no. Promise to lock me up if that happens. I don't think I could handle it."
He snickers and Lemmy slowly stealth crawls over before pouncing on me, taking me by surprise.
"Haha! Got you, Lynn mom!"
"*giggles* Oh no! I've been captured! Whatever shall I do? Who will save me from your devious clutches?"
I take the tiny Koopaling in my grasp and toss him up a couple times, making him laugh with glee.
"Hehe...Again! Again!"
"Mama, don't forget me!"
"I'm not, sweetie. Just let Lemmy have a few more, then it's your turn. I only have two hands."
Jr. pouts but nods. I toss Lemmy up higher and higher, earning more excited giggles that make even the iciest of hearts melt. I toss him up one more time and expect to catch him, only to be left hanging as Lemmy is caught in the hand of Roy.
"Hey there, sugar."
"There you are. I was wondering where you disappeared to."
"Awww...Glad to know ya care enough to worry about me."
"Of course, silly boy."
Roy, smooth as ever, puts Lemmy down while Jr. scowls and Morton's grip tightens.
"So, sweetheart, seein' as I've saved ya from little bro's devious clutches...What's my reward gonna be?"
Oh, how I enjoy these little games of ours. They're most enjoyable.
"Why, Roy, my noble tough guy, whatever could you want as a reward for such a harrowing ordeal?"
He grins and kneels down to look me in the eye. Putting a single claw up under my chin to hold my face in place.
"Heh...I know you're teasin' me, sweetheart."
"And what if I am?"
"I like it~."
"Roy..."
Jr. growls, but one hard look and rumble from Roy makes him flinch.
"Just...Don't be so gross with Mama."
Roy merely pats Jr.'s head and looks back at me though now I'm confused. Did I miss something that happened between them?
Since their last encounter, Roy and Jr. have a closer respect for each other, though for Jr. some of that is fear due to underestimating Roy's power. Roy is the kind of guy you have to earn his respect, and while he wouldn't admit it out loud, Jr. had done so by standing up to him plus putting up a pretty decent fight. Jr. had always looked up to the Koopalings, they were older and been his father's favorite kids before he hatched onto the scene. But after some time, Bowser's favoritism towards Jr. had given the boy an "I can do anything because he is MY dad" type of ego and it made him in need of a shell kicking to humble him. He just didn't expect to get a whooping from Roy, Bowser yes, Roy not so much.
"So, tough guy, where were you hiding at?"
"Around."
"Not going to tell me?"
"I might be persuaded to tell ya if ya do a little somethin' for me."
"Like what?"
"Come to my room and I'll show ya~."
He winks and I giggle till Morton shoves Roy back.
"Yo! Ya got somethin' to say, bro?"
Morton snarls and I rub his arm to calm him down.
"Relax, big boy. It's okay. Roy likes to tease. You know that, right?"
Morton rumbles low and keeps eye contact with Roy. Sparks can be felt between them as this stare off intensifies. Morton makes the first move and nuzzles a quick kiss on my cheek before grinning at a very ticked off Roy.
"You cocky little...!"
"Morton not little. Morton big. Very big~."
Oh my god, suppress the laughter. Whatever you do, Lynsie, suppress the laughter! I don't know if Morton meant to make an innuendo or not, but that didn't matter to Roy. Roy tackles Morton as I bust a gut unable to hold it in my giggles and end up getting stuck on my back.
"I don't get it. Do you, Lemmy?"
"Nope. Iggy?"
"I haven't a clue."
I'm too adult for these kids! I know too much! I know too much adult stuff to be around these kids!
*buzz-buzz*
Jr.'s phone vibrates and he looks at it funny.
"Papa?"
That makes everyone stop and stare as he answers the cell phone.
"Hi, Papa. Huh? Yes, I finished my homework. Well...most of it. B-But I did complete my exam! Yes, I took out the garbage. Uh-huh...Um...Alright. Okay, Papa. I'll tell them."
He hangs up and we wait for him to say whatever it is he was told.
"Papa said he wants all of us to go to his study."
"Did he say why?"
"Just that we'll find out when we get there."
"Typical."
I try to get up but can't...I'm turtling.
"Um...A little help?"
Jr. rolls me over and I shake off my embarrassed blush.
"Thanks, dear. Now then...*deep breath* Koopalings, assemble!"
The kids line up and the three that were in their rooms join the fray.
"Bowser is calling us over to his study. We don't know why, but it is safe to guess that it must be important. What with Peach being here and all that. So let's go see what he wants and show him that we can do whatever he asks because we are epic!"
They cheer in hype and we march ourselves over to Bowser's study. I say march, but what it really is me trying to keep up as they run down the halls like they know someone is about to put out some cake. We make it to the study and when I catch up to them we are all sharing the same odd expression. Bowser is sitting awkwardly in his chair, a thick book on his lap, and Kamek standing just as awkwardly beside him.
"Please, come in and shut the door, hu-...I mean, Lynsie."
Oh shit, Kamek used my name! I don't know whether to take that as a good thing or a super bad thing. The kids enter and take a seat at Bowser's feet as I shut the door. I opt for staying by the door. This doesn't really feel like the kind of thing I should stick around for if it gets a certain way. Best be close to the exit just in case. There's an unsettling stillness for a bit till Kamek elbows Bowser's side and he speaks.
"Um...Lynsie?"
"Yes?"
"Could you, I don't know...Wait outside for a bit? This is something more meant for them. You understand, right?"
I bow and sigh with relief.
"Of course. As you wish, my King."
"It's nothing personal! I mean, it is for them. But you..."
"No need to explain, I get it. Family time is family time."
I can't leave the room fast enough and don't see Bowser attempt to say something else to me. I so called it for going to be weird! But now what? Who knows how long they'll be in there. So what shall I do while I wait? Hmmm...Oh! I know! I think I'll visit Princess Peach. Yeah. Nothing can go wrong with this idea. I mean, what's the worst that can happen?
[Meanwhile: in Castle Two]
Mario and Luigi have continued their journey to the Koopa Kingdom. They managed to get through Castle One and defeat the Axem Rangers, even if it was a taxing battle. That castle hit them hard. No items. No power-ups. No remorse. The trek for this castle would've probably been their end had they not ran into Nabbit.
This underhanded little rascal likes to steal items from the Toad Houses and runs away with them. If caught, the Toads might repay them with a nice present. But after being foiled in his acts, he's had a slight change of heart...Some of the times anyway. He still stole, but now he stole from those he saw with more than what they needed and if caught, will share the prize. From burglar to hero in the blink of an eye. Not bad work, all things considered.
Luigi managed to snag the bunny bandit and as per his code, the sticky-fingered rabbit offered them the items in his seemingly bottomless bag. This gave the brother the chance to fully heal and properly stock themselves on things they were sure they'll need for the future fights ahead. Still...They did make Nabbit an offer to shadow them and meet up at the end of each castle so they can restock if needed. Why would Nabbit agree to this? Well, it helps that they may have tempted him with stealing whatever he wanted from the defeated castles. With a deal like that, he'd be crazy not to take it.
Now with power-ups, they made their way through Castle Two with more ease than they had with Castle One. This castle seemed less diverse than the other castle, only having three enemy types. Cobrats slither out of tiny spaces and leap from vases. Blow Hards hide in corners and fire Needlenoses at them. Drool Hards hang from the ceiling and drop an unlimited supply of Needlenoses, which bounce around before eventually turning green to yellow to red then explode. Mad Pokeys, Poison Pokeys, and Skellokeys guard different doors that lead to rooms or traps. Big Pokeys and Tryclydes defend the path leading to the main chamber. All the while Fuzzies come and go just to cause annoying trouble.
But all in all, the skills of the brothers and power-ups allowed them to get through with minor scrapes.
"Alright! Now this-a is how it should be. Go in a castle, beat up some minions, enjoy a challenge, then bask in the great victory of a boss being bested."
"Don't-a you think this was a little easy?"
"What do you mean?"
"That-a last castle nearly had us done for. And this-a one...It just...It doesn't feel right."
"You worry too much, Luigi. We're just-a super strong since we got all these items."
"True. But..."
Luigi rubs the back of his head a little.
"Relax, bro. No matter what's behind this-a door, it won't stand a chance against us."
"Yeah...I guess you're right."
Mario tilts his head in puzzlement.
"Why do you sound so down? You're not doubting us, are you?"
"N-No! I know we can do anything if we try hard enough. It's...Well..."
"Luigi, if something's the matter, you can tell me. I'm you're brother. I have your back no matter what."
"Well...Do you ever, I don't-a know...Feel guilty for beating them up?"
Mario is silent.
"Mario?"
But then Mario is quite loud.
"*hearty laughter* Good one bro. That was funny."
This wasn't the response Luigi was hoping to get, so he decided not to push it further and let it end.
"*nervous* Y-Yeah. Thanks, Mario."
They push open the door and enter the seemingly empty room before the door closes behind them. The dead torches come alive and reveal the floor to be deep sand. In fact, they begin to notice that the longer they stay still, the more they start to sink into it. This is not good.
"What is this? Quicksand? Some boss."
"All we have to do is not stay still too long. That's not so bad. Heh...It could be worse. "
"Oh yeah? How?"
As if on cue, there's a rumbling from the walls and ceiling. Out from high up ventilation shafts, numerous different fuzz balls begin pouring in and litter the floor, though due to their light weight they fail to even dent the sand despite their decent size. These balls of furry fluff begin to writhe and group up into collective masses that tether themselves to the walls and ceiling to avoid the sand. Once these amalgamations form, Mario recognizes them and gives a look.
"What?"
"You just had to get me to say it, didn't you?"
"Can we not do this-a right now?"
"Fine, but I won't forget this-a."
"What are those things?"
Mario points to the darker one on the left.
"That-a one is a Fuzzy Horde. It's a group made by a large number of Fuzzies."
"That's a Fuzzy Horde?! Look at 'em all! What a mob scene! It's crazy!"
"Yeah, but it's fine. The Fuzzies come at you all at once and attack in order. No need to freak out about it though, they're pretty weak. If you use good timing to defend, you won't take much damage."
"And that other one?"
Mario points to the right.
"That-a one is Smorg. Smorg is made up of massive hordes of smaller, individual grey Smorgs, and the base is made up of a cluster of magenta Smorg. They're like Fuzzies, but a little tougher."
"It's crazy how those tiny things can create these huge monsters."
"It's all about teamwork with them, something we are very good at. It will attack with weird tentacles. Defeating the tentacles will drop the body's defense, making it easier to attack. The tentacles will regenerate, but use that-a time to deal a ton of damage, okay? It may also take other forms with higher attack powers, so be careful."
"Got it. Will do, bro."
The two masses of creatures lurch into striking position.
"SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORG!"
"If you hit us, we divide! Multiply! Meeeeork! Meork! Multiply! Divide! Repeat! Destroy! We are legion! Come and get it if you can! Nyeah, nyeah!"
The Fuzzy Horde rolls at them like a dark tsunami as the Smorg lashes out with wild tentacle strikes. The castle might have been a walk in the park, but the boss fight appears to be more like a charge into hell. Good thing they stocked up on items with Nabbit because they're so going to need them and more.
Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.
If there are any questions, feel free to ask.