Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^
The afternoon to evening is rather pleasant. I consider this to be the closest to family time as I've gotten with the Royals of the Koopa Kingdom. Just the ten of us, lounging in front of a TV, snacking from a huge thing of popcorn, and pointing things out in the movie that are too dumb or make no sense to how it plays out. Who would've guessed that Wendy hated forced romance? I thought I hated it, but she is on a whole other level.
"This movie is absolute garbage!"
"Wendy, calm down."
"Yeah, it's only a movie."
"Only a movie?! It's things like that that allow these types of things to happen! When a romantic subplot is tacked onto a work with little relation to the overall story, it ruins the flow of the entire story. Especially blatant when the setting or premise of the plot leaves little room for romance, such as after the Apocalypse or in the land of racing cars and guns. Hello? You're in the middle of some very dangerous stuff here, stop trying to hook up with that mildly attractive stranger, and make sure you don't get yourself killed!"
"Chill, dear. The reasons behind this are understandable. Love is often quoted to be universal, so directors and producers want to cater to the largest demographic possible. What better to draw females to theaters than with a few tender scenes inserted here and there in an action or disaster movie? Or to titillate the males in the audience with a Green-Skinned Space Babe hanging around the hero? Or vice versa? Meanwhile, more cynical voices will claim that the romance is merely there to make absolutely sure that audience knows what canon sexuality the given character has. Homo- and bisexuality still remain somewhat controversial subjects in this day and age, so establishing that a character is in a relationship with the opposite or same sex is sometimes used as a more roundabout way of enforcing certain demographics."
"No! That doesn't mean it works! The romance subplot itself is shallow and underdeveloped, existing only because the audience expects the hero to have a healthy love life. In fact, if the romance was removed entirely, it would barely leave a ripple in the overall plot quality. The love interest is nothing more than a bland, forgettable Satellite Character, and may even be ignored or replaced by another love interest in a sequel. I will admit that sometimes, and I mean that in the most microscopic way, sometimes it works, but even then, it'll still have the 'obligatory romance' stamped on it because the mere presence of a lone hero with the token female is enough for the audience to anticipate romantic tension. Stuff like this can become a Romantic Plot Tumor and it threatens to overwhelm the main plot. Often added in an adaptation by making a minor character promoted to Love Interest. It's just bad scripting."
She gets up and starts storming away.
"Where are you going, Wendy?"
"I'm going to my room! I can't sit there and watch that...that...Argh!"
She leaves and I make a mental note that she is scary when mad.
"Eh, she has a good point. Movies these days really shove love plots into movies that don't need them. One minute you're immersed in the story, the next, you're wondering why the heck these two strangers that barely know each other for longer than ten minutes suddenly want to make out and more."
"Weird. I thought ya girls like love stories."
"If it's done right, then it's okay. But for me personally, no, it's not really the reason why I watch a movie. I like action, mystery, horror, and comedy. Mostly, I like it best when the movie makes me think. If it gets my interest then I want to know more. That's the key to getting me to really like anything."
I try to ignore the few hushed mutterings of "Oh really?", partly because I walked right into that and I don't want to acknowledge it. Though there's a difference between me ignoring it and them totally using it against me to learn even more.
"So what kind of things do you like, fair maiden?"
"You know...stuff and junk."
Ah crap, I answered. Now the game of twenty questions begins...Make that, a ton of questions. Can't say I wasn't expecting it. I don't talk about myself. I'm just surprised it took this long for them to ask.
"What did you do before joining us, and how long were you doing it?"
"Not much. Kept to myself. Made coin doing odd jobs and favors. Pretty boring really."
"What's your favorite place in the entire world?"
"I've only ever been in the Mushroom Kingdom and here. Out of those two, I pick here.
"What really makes you laugh?"
"Um...Depends on the moment really."
This all feels awkward, so I try to keep my responses short and simple.
"Are there any foods you absolutely hate?"
"Sauerkraut."
"What's your favorite way to spend a weekend?"
"*snicker* Sleeping."
"What was your family like growing up?"
To that one I pause.
"...I don't want to talk about it."
That don't bode well for some, a touchy subject is best avoided. Unless you're all too innocent Lemmy.
"How come?"
"It's not the time to talk about that, Lemmy."
"Why?"
"Please, stop."
"But..."
Bowser taps on Lemmy's shoulder and the look given puts an end to the question...for now at least.
"What were you like as a kid?"
"Pretty much the same as now, only more active."
"What should we know about you that we would never think to ask about?"
"If you have to ask, you will never know. If you know, you need only to ask."
"What does that mean?"
"Suppose you have to ask a question or want a solution to your problem, then you will not know which person will be right to give you the useful solution. And, you will ask it to many people and all their suggestions could confuse you instead of giving right solution. But, when you know a solution to a problem, you will need someone to approach you with the problem, then only you can give him your best solution. Much like how a doctor can't treat a patient without knowing the illness."
"Makes sense."
"What type of music do you like?"
"Rock, classical, alternative, metal, instrumental, orchestra, punk, pop, electronic, dubstep, and techno."
"Are you more of a cat or a dog person?"
"I'm a all animal person."
"Yes!"
All eyes look up at a now very embarrassed Bowser.
"Um...I just...It's about that thing I asked you about from before. The thing I wanted to show you later."
"Oh. So it's about a type of animal? Neat!"
He breathes a sigh of relief and the questions keep coming.
"What is your absolute favorite food?"
"Not sure. There are a lot of foods I really like, but I can't pick a single one. Though I have never had a bad thing to say about seafood."
"What's your biggest pet peeve?"
"Blatant stupidity and having to repeat myself.
"What's your biggest pet peeve?"
I grab Roy and put him in a playful headlock before giving him a nuggie.
"Okay, okay! I take it back! I take it back!"
"Naughty boy, trying to mess with me."
"Ya know ya like it."
I chuckle and nuzzle his head before letting him go.
"Do you have any siblings?"
"I have an older brother and a younger sister."
"Does your family still live in your hometown?"
I pause again.
"...Honestly...I have no clue. I moved to Petal Meadows and pretty much dropped all contact. Originally, I come from Rose Town. A quaint little place where the places of interest are the shop and Inn. It is home to a Gardener that has a truly magical way with plants. The Toads of Rose Town all have striped mushroom caps with a large circle directly on top, making their caps appear like target boards. This is fitting, considering what happened to them during the attack by the Smithy Gang. Arrows were fired at the town by Bowyer. These arrows contain a toxin that paralyzed anyone unfortunate enough to be struck by one, and any inhabitants outside of a house were frozen in place."
"Why?"
"Reasons."
"What's something you've been really proud of lately?"
"Standing up for what I believe in."
"And what's that?"
"You guys."
"Awwwww...!"
I get so much love for that.
"What's something you're bad at?
"I can't color very well. And by that, I mean I can't keep inside the lines. I'm also not very good at drawing humans. Other things, yes. People, not so much."
"What fact about you would surprise us the most?"
"Hmmm...I've nearly died a couple times growing up."
That made things silent for a while, but then...
"Do you consider yourself spontaneous or a planner?"
"Planner."
"What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?"
"The first time I decided to ditch school."
"First?"
"I can't recall how many times I did it."
"Oooooh, Mama's a bad girl."
"That's hot~."
"Down boy."
Bowser nudges Roy with his foot.
"How would your best friends describe you?"
"I don't know. Jr, how would you describe me?"
Jr.'s eyes light up and he hugs me tight.
"Mama is awesome! *giggles*"
I snuggle the sweet boy and kiss his cheek.
"Do you prefer salty snacks or dessert?"
"Depends on the mood, but I think sweets win that battle."
"What are some words of wisdom you can give yourself or others?"
"I know who I am. I am happy with who I am. Nothing anyone else says about me matters. The only words about myself that matter are my own. So don't let someone else's hate try to stop you from doing what you want. Every time you go out there to do something, you may wonder if you can do it. There's never guaranteed success. There's always going to be someone out there that will try to stop you. But that doesn't mean you have to give up. If you fall, get back up, and keep trying. So never give up and never surrender."
"That...That was beautiful."
"I try."
"What has been your greatest achievement so far?"
"Making Mario look foolish by stealing his girl right in front of him."
"What is one skill you wish you could be better at?"
"I'm not sure. But if I picked one at random...Dancing. I've never danced, nor do I have a clue how."
"I'd be honored to help teach you, dear flower."
"Thanks."
"In one word, how would you describe yourself?"
"One word? Hmmm...Me."
"What quality for you is an automatic 'no way' when pursuing someone in a relationship?"
I give them a funny look.
"That's a rather oddly specific question."
"It's just a question. You don't have to answer it if you don't want to."
"But if you can answer it, that would be very cool of ya to do, sugar."
"Heh...Fine. Never had to actually think of such things before. But...I guess a bad personality. By that I mean, if they come off as fake or genuinely hurtful. Like, if the guy makes himself out to be all good in public but behind closed doors, he's a monster. That is my 'no way' quality."
"What do you most look for in a partner?"
"Personality. If I can't get along with the guy, there's no reason to try."
"What do you find most attractive in a potential partner?"
"Guys...This is starting to get really weird."
"Again, it's just a question and you don't have to answer."
"And again, I've never had to think about this sort of stuff. I guess...I'm not really sure. Any feelings I've had for someone never really went out of the 'friend zone', so I'm not entirely sure."
"But what makes you form a crush in the first place?"
I shrug.
"Like I said before, I like personality. If it's good enough to make me notice, I think that can make me interested more. Doesn't hurt if the guy looks good either. But I'm not one to judge based on looks."
"What would be a perfect day for you?"
"I'll let you know when that happens."
"For what in your life do you feel most grateful for?"
"Knowing all of you."
"Morton feels the same way!"
Morton pulls me into his arms and I giggle at him.
"Must be cuddle time, right big guy?"
He nods, nuzzling into my shoulder and Roy shoots him a look to which Morton counters with one of his own.
"Ya wanna fight, bro? 'Cause I'll beat the snot out of ya."
"Morton would like to see you try."
"Can you guys not fight over me? It's a real mood killer."
"I have to agree with the fair maiden."
"Thank you, Ludwig."
"Because clearly, her desire is for neither of you."
"Ludwig, no...Just...No."
"Worry not, young Jr, I mean no ill."
"Nope! Not dealing with this..."
I get out of all the holds and stand up.
"Mama?"
"No. This has gotten way too uncomfortable. I'm done for the day."
I aim to stroll out the room like Wendy did, but hands grab at my ankles.
"Sugar, hold up!"
"Lynn lady no go!"
My tolerance and patience are running thin for all this while in my current mood.
"Look...I can deal with all the affection. It's cute. But I'm drawing the line here. All these questions and the actions that have lead up to them, it's too much."
"But we don't mean to..."
"Kids..."
Now Bowser gets up and while part of me is grateful for him stepping in, the other part of me is annoyed that he thinks he needs to help me.
"Just because we talked about stuff, doesn't mean you have to focus solely on her. There are other girls in this big crazy world you can go after."
"Excuse me?"
I am now a very unhappy camper.
"What?"
"You. Me. Outside. Talk. Now."
My tone is less than pleasant as I storm out of the room, this time with no one attempting to stop me.
"Oooooh...You're in trouble."
"Shut it!"
Bowser straightens himself to regain composure before exiting the room. Of course, the children all rush to door and press their heads as close to it as possible. No way in heck were they missing this.
"Okay, I'll bite...What's wrong?"
"I know I said I wouldn't ask, but now, I'm asking. What did you talk about with the kids?"
"It's nothing you have to be concerned about."
"Damn it, Bowser, I'm being serious! Now tell me!"
He flinched. Her fiery temper was rare so he had yet to get used to when it flared up. But he was not one to be barked orders at, especially by no girl...even if he did find such strength in a woman appealing.
"You forget your place, little spitfire. I give orders, not take them."
"Heh...You forget something, my King."
"What's that?"
"I don't care who I have to yell at to get some darn answers if it's about the kids!"
He stands his ground but the look he has bothers me.
"Are you alright?"
I was expecting him to be angry, to lash me verbally and tear me down for daring to raise my voice. What I'm not expecting is this sudden concern. That's when I notice the shaking. My limbs are trembling. I hold myself and look away from him.
"Lynsie?"
"It's nothing. I'm fine."
"Don't lie to me. I know I'm not all that knowing about how you humans are, but I know when a woman is anything but fine. So tell me, what's wrong?"
My fingers start tapping on my arm and I refuse to look at him.
"It's stupid."
"What is?"
"All of this. I can't do this anymore."
"What does that mean?"
"That! Stop that! Why are you so concerned?"
"Why is it bad for me to be concerned about you?"
"Because you're in love with another woman!"
I can feel my eyes begin to water so I turn my back to him much to his confusion.
"Wha...What are you...?"
"Don't read into this like there's some hidden message of me saying I love you or something because that's not what's happening. *sigh* If you want me to be honest...I feel torn."
"Torn?"
He steps closer but I move away, standing face to the wall and leaning my forehead on it.
"When you had me start watching the kids, I didn't think I'd become so attached. I used to not have these feelings. Now...Now I wouldn't think twice about throwing myself in harm's way for them."
He smiles a little.
"There's nothing wrong with that. The kids adore you. They see you as a mother..."
"No, they don't!"
I'm shaking more and he pouts.
"They don't see me as a mother. Maybe Jr., Wendy, and Lemmy, but not the rest. Why should they when you have Peach to fill that role. To them, I'm just someone that takes care of them and they can hit on like lovesick teens."
"Lynsie..."
"You know, Roy wanted me to ask you permission for him to take me away to Bubblaine in the Seaside Kingdom for some 'alone time'. Ludwig wishes to totter me 'privately' in the ways of music. Oh! Iggy wants to conduct 'experiments' on me. And Morton...I think we've said enough about that one."
"Lynsie..."
"I mean, you marrying Peach makes her into their step-mother. Bad enough when Jr. calls her 'mama' I feel my heart shatter, but if the others start...*sniffles* Damn it, I'm so sick of crying. I can't take it anymore."
Those words touch a nerve in Bowser, triggering flashbacks to a time before the children and when someone he cared for broke his heart. It made him panic and grab me, spinning me around to face him.
"Don't say that! Don't ever think that!"
"Stop it. Stop acting like you care."
"I do!"
"No, you don't. You're just scared you'll lose a caretaker."
"Damn it, woman, stop thinking you know what I feel and listen to me!"
I'm stunned from that and he continues.
"Yes, I am marrying Peach. But it's for what she offers to give me for doing so. Land, power, wealth, all that jazz. Nothing else. I'm doing this out of spite."
My mind blanks out for a moment.
"Wha?"
"That's right. I'm marrying her out of spite. I'm going to force her hand, take all she has, and make her hate life in every way. And do you know why?"
I shake my head.
"Because you were right."
I cock my head in puzzlement.
"You were right about her. She's not the girl I fell for. She rude, disrespectful, and mean to the kids. I can't be happy with a girl like that. Hehe...So why not get a kick out of things by making her feel as bad as she's made us feel."
"I...I don't know how to respond."
"How about saying something like 'I'm happy for you' or 'good going' or..."
"Where are you going with this?"
Bowser opens his mouth, but no words escape him as if they died on his tongue before they could come out. This only adds to my confusion.
"Bowser?"
He's silent for a while before sighing and leaning on his hand on the wall over me.
"Why do you make things so difficult?"
"I'm not sure I understand."
"It's probably for the best that you don't."
This feels both okay yet awkward.
"...Are you mad at me?"
"No...Are you mad at me?"
"No...Can I ask what the talk with the kids was about?"
He's quite again. I feel like I'm overstepping. Then again, I also feel a little odd about the position I'm stuck in. Leaning towards someone, even though he's mostly towering over me, is a nonverbal way of telling them you are engaging them. Like if you are interested in a person, a way to show them is by leaning towards them, this subconsciously will pull them in your direction. Body language is kooky.
"...I gave them 'The Talk'."
Now I'm the quiet one.
"Lynsie?"
It takes a moment to process what he said before I start laughing much to his relief and confusion.
"Is that a good laugh or one I should be worried about?"
"*snickering* When I suggested you talk to the kids...I wasn't expecting THAT."
"They're in their twenties. It was the time sooner rather than later. After all, they have been a tad clingy to you, as you know all too well from those examples you told me."
"Yeah, that's true."
"Roy really said 'alone time'?"
"He did."
"Ludwig probably means he'll literally be teaching you music."
"You might be right, but he gives me these mixed signals that come off as flirty yet tame. I don't know."
"Iggy just might be curious about your body. N-Not in that way! I mean...You know how he is."
"You say that now, but I'll be saying 'I told you so' if one day I find myself strapped to an operating table and hooked up to unknown machines."
"If that happens, I'll buy you dinner."
"Deal."
"And Morton...Yeah...I got nothing for that one. Heh...At least Larry's okay...Right? Please tell me he hasn't tried anything."
"*giggles* Aside from the random times where he rides me like one of his horses, nothing too crazy. I think he's still a little young before his interest in girls kicks in."
"Oh thank the stars."
"Lemmy seems like the right age, but his innocence is a most invaluable thing and I'm grateful for it."
"No kidding. That plus his size, I can't tell you how many times I forget that Larry is the youngest of the original seven."
"I must admit, I am curious to see how he'll develop once he matures."
"Watch him turn out to be the biggest of the bunch."
"Heheh...I'd put some coin on that."
He chuckles.
"I think you have a problem."
"No, I don't. I only make bets on things that are statistically probable, such as Lemmy growing up from the runt of the litter to being the biggest macho man of the group. It's a bet I don't mind making."
"In that case, how much are you willing to bet the kids are listening in?"
"All the coin in the world."
"Want to make them squirm?"
He smiles down at me deviously and I can't help the wicked smirk that creeps across my lips.
"What do you have in mind?"
"I say we pretend to fight then leave. I can then show you that thing I told you about. And after that, we show the kids and surprise them. How does that sound?"
"Bowser, that is cruel and manipulative."
"So, no?"
"Oh heck yeah, we should do this."
"*snicker* Really?"
"They're big kids. Nothing wrong with giving them a little dose of reality sometimes. And in reality, sometimes good friends will fight."
"You want to start or should I?"
"Kings first. Just do me one favor."
"What's that?"
"Remember this is pretend...Please be gentle with me."
Maybe it's the way I said that. Maybe it's the way we're currently situated. Maybe it's this strange tension between us. But whatever the reason is, we both end up blushing fools that can't stop staring at each other.
"Uh...M-My bad?"
He blinks rapidly a few times before jerking back.
"Woman! You are so frustrating! Do what you're told and obey your King!"
I jump at the sudden roar from him, forgetting everything we just talked about. Only settling down once he winks at me and I recall he's only pretending to be pissed off.
"I don't have to take this!"
I fake walking away.
"Where do you think you're going?!"
"Away from you, you big baby!"
I wink and he fights the urge to snicker while offering me his arm.
"Oh no, you don't! Get back here, you brat!"
I have to cover my mouth with one hand to keep quiet as I take his arm with the other before we take our leave of the area. We quickly round a corner and spy on the rec-room door flying open, the kids all seem to be going nuts in some way or another.
"Do you think we're being too bad?"
"Do you really want to go back in that room with a bunch of hormone pumping boys that want to get you alone after I've given them the 'The Talk'?"
"...Let's get going."
"Smart girl."
We continue on our way, me following beside my King, him leading me to where I know not. After a little bit of time, he has me wait in one room while he gets something from another. My only clue to what is going on is it was about animals. Moments later he returns, only this time he is not the same Koopa that I know. In comes this huge Tiger-like hybrid of Bowser with a golden striped Super Bell dangling off his spiked collar and a bronze striped jingle Lucky Bell nestled in his paw. I'm made speechless.
"Well? What do you think? I got these weird items when I took over the Sprixie Kingdom for a time, but man are they useful and powerful too."
"...You...You're a cat?"
"Tiger Koopa."
"...You are freaking adorable!"
"Daww..."
He blushed faintly and rubbed the back of his head while thinking to himself that he was so right about how this moment was going to play out.
"Is it weird that I suddenly want to rub your belly?"
"N-No, but maybe petting behind my ears would be a better start."
I giggle sheepishly at my own silliness. He kneels down and I reach up, scratching under his chin with one hand while the other goes behind his ear, making his eyes flutter as his tail curls in delight.
"Mmmmmm...*purring* That's nice."
"I aim to please."
"Want to try this out for yourself?"
He offers the bell in his paw.
"How does this work exactly?"
"From what I know, if humans or humanoid things like Toads absorb the bell like a normal power-up, it will put you in a Cat Suit like how a Super Leaf gives you Tanooki Suit. But for me and other creatures and living object, it makes you transform into a type of cat."
"Ah man...So I can't go full kitty like you? That's such a bummer."
He snorts a laugh and I carefully take the bell.
"Okay, I just have two more questions about these things. First...What do they do?"
"Aside from normal cat stuff, you can run up walls, scratch things with sharp claws, flutter jump to float a little bit, dive bomb, and sprint quickly. Though with the Lucky Bell, it'll let you transform into a Lucky Cat Statue. This form looks like a golden Maneki-Neko statue holding a coin and is a similar trait kind of like the stone statue form of the Tanooki Suit. Except Lucky Cat gives you coins while moving and makes you invincible so long as you remain a statue, though you can't stay like that forever as there is a time limit of its power."
"Okay, that's epic. Heh...And my final question is...Can I pick the type of kitty I get a suit for?"
He shakes his head.
"That's not how it works, spitfire. Otherwise, I'd have picked a saber-toothed cat."
"Dude...That would be epic. Shame though...Oh! Should I take the shell off?"
"Nah. Besides, it looks good on you."
"Alright...Here goes nothing. It's kitty time!"
I squeeze the bell into an embrace and it glows as it enters my body, setting my entire form alight in its power. Bowser watches intently. He knows what the bell made his enemies look like.
Mario's suit is yellow and white, with dark marks on the tips of his ears, cheeks, back of his head, and spine. Luigi's is green and white, dark marks on the back of his rounded ears, the top of his head, spotted body, and the tip of his tail. Peach's is pink and white, with no marks on her flawless coat. Toad's is blue and white, with dark marks on his cheeks, back of his head, and spine. And lastly, Rosalina's is black and white, resembling a tuxedo cat with such a silky unmarked coat pattern.
So once the light fades, he is rather surprised by the Koopa shell wearing catsuited girl now sitting in front of him with a red collar that the Lucky Bell now connects to. She's a Calico with a spotted or particolored coat that is predominantly white with patches of brown and grey. This is probably because of her shell, as calico is a pattern more usually called tortoiseshell-and-white. The Lucky Bell itself could've picked this, as cats of this coloration are believed to bring good luck in the folklore of many cultures. Sometimes calicoes are referred to as money cats, the Maneki-Neko figures depict Calico cats, bringing good luck and great fortune.
"How do I look?"
"Like a cute ball of fluff that I might die from if I hear you meow."
"Don't tempt me right meow."
I blush and he snickers.
"I swear, that was not on purrpose."
He laughs and I'm both finding this funny and freaky.
"Is this really funny to mew?"
"*laughing* Stop...I can't...I can't take it..."
I decide to go with all this silliness and play the ultimate cat move. I move close, widen my eyes, and playfully paw him.
"Reow~."
He falls over onto his back holding his sides. He'd probably be stuck because of his shell if it weren't for him rocking in his laughter. I let him calm down before doing anything else that might set him off.
"Hehehe...Now that was not fair."
"Yeah, I probably should've warned you I'm good at puns and silly word games. My bad."
"Ready to show the kids our new looks?"
"Sure. But why do so in a normal way?"
"Koopa style?"
"Oh yeah."
"Cool. How do we do that?"
"I'll give you a twenty second head start to find out."
I am puzzled till I see the predatory gleam in his eyes match his cunning smirk.
"Oh...Um...Mreow?"
I can't think of anything smart or clever so I just take off on all fours while he counts to himself. Never have I figured that one day, I'd be a cat yet feel like a mouse that's being chased by a super big cat.
"Mreow!"
Was it really twenty seconds already?! I don't even have to look behind me to know he's closing the small gap my head start made. I push myself to run as fast as I can even though I know he's just playing around with me, but I also know that Bowser is a fast guy for his size and weight. As I begin to approach the rec-room I can hear two things, one is the voices of some of the children still inside the room and two is the heavy breathing of Bowser getting ever closer with each passing minute. Curse my crummy body and lack of decent cardio exercise! My lungs are already feeling the burn from all this!
"Reow!"
Bowser attempts a pouncing lunge and just barely get my tail out of his claws.
"*hiss*"
The resulting commotion gets the attention of the kids who check on the noise just as I run along a wall and Bowser comes plowing behind me in chase. This, of course, is very confusing to those that saw this.
"Uh...What was that?"
"I don't know, what did you think you saw?"
"Was that Mama?"
"Was that the old man?"
"Were they...cats?"
"Morton is very confused."
"You and us both, Morton."
Several hallways later and I'm losing the will to keep running. I've missed being caught two more times but I know my luck can't last forever. Though I will admit these cat powers are perfect for doing parkour and gymnastics.
"You can't run forever, spitfire!"
"I know that. But where's the fun in making it easy for you?"
He chuckles and I yelp at the sudden nip at my tail. How did he get so close?! I'm all out of moves now. I can't jump while he's this close, there's no room. I can't duck under him, I don't have time to avoid his paws. Wait...I could go statue...No, that's stupid. I don't want to hurt him. Damn it, what do I do?! Lost in my dumb thoughts, I fail to notice the passing Buzzy Bettle and it fails to notice me until it's too late.
Buzzy Beetles are turtles with hard, outer shells that are often deep dark blue. Buzzy Beetles will hide in their shells if jumped on, and, like a Koopa Shell, can be kicked to attack other things. The shell of the Buzzy Beetle is strong enough to resist fireballs, and as such, they cannot be defeated by fire. In a way, they are the polar opposite of the Spinies; enemies who are immune to jumps, but vulnerable to fireballs.
Once my paw touches the Buzzy's shell, it ducks inside its and goes shooting off behind me as I kiss the floor then poof into a statue while skidding for some time. Bowser worries, but then he too slips on the shell, sending it ricocheting off walls till it breaks out a window and comes to land beyond the castle walls. Bowser tumbles head over tail, collecting Lucky Cat made coins till he lands atop my statue form.
For a bit of time, Bowser is seeing stars in dizziness. His mind told him something wasn't right, but then again, this was the same part of him that was currently seeing objects move around on their own in wavy blurs. Suddenly there's a poof of smoke under him and realization kicks in when the feel of something uncomfortably hard becomes very soft. Quickly yet carefully, he lifts himself back onto all fours and begins blushing heavily at what he sees. Not only am I staring back at him with an equally red face, mostly due to smacking it on the floor and exhaustion, but I'm also on my back with my front paws covering my chest helplessly while I slowly pant out of breath.
"*tired* You caught me...my King...Now...what are you...going to...do to me?"
I'm too tired for my brain's filter to pick up the implications that question now has him thinking of. His whiskers twitch and his button nose begins to bleed ever so slightly. This gets to my weary mind.
"*tired* Bowser...Are you okay?"
He bites his lower lip and whimpers.
"*mumbling* Keep it together, Bowser. You can do this. She's not trying to do this to you. It's just a wacky accident that happened. Don't mess this up by going for it. Let her come to you."
"*tired* What? I didn't hear you...Are you alright?"
"Yeah...Yeah, I'm fine."
He snorts the blood back up his nose and rolls me over so I'm now on my stomach. This vexes me till I feel a light bite when I try to get up and I'm hosted off the ground. Much like a kitten, my body curls in Bowser's hold of the scruff of my neck and he starts walking us back toward the rec-room.
"Let's get back to the kids before they get too worked up. You can have your catnap then. Okay?"
I nod weakly and let this oddly cute thing happen, I'm too worn out to walk at this point anyway.
[Meanwhile: Desert Oasis Cantina]
The atmosphere in the cantina was a hustle and bustle of strange people all there for refreshments while getting out of the sun's blistering heat. In the back of said place, away from prying eyes or listening ears, sit Nabbit and Luigi who was already on his second glass of water.
"Thirsty much?"
"*gasp* Denim...Is not good to wear here."
Nabbit nods and looks around.
"I take it Mario is outside."
Luigi nods and refills the glass again.
"He's being stubborn. He'll come around once he sees he can't go it alone like he normally can. Bowser's being serious this time. Right?"
"He is."
"Did you find any information?"
Nabbit reaches into his bag and holds up a slip of paper.
"This is the information I managed to find out about Castle Three."
"Can I see it?"
Nabbit holds out a hand.
"This isn't my best work, I did have to rush on this. So for you, I'll ask for ten coins."
"But...But I'm already paying you!"
"You are. This is merely an advance I'm taking out of the main sum."
Luigi sighs and reaches into his pocket, giving Nabbit the coins in exchange for the paper. Looking at the paper, Luigi's eyes widen and he gives Nabbit a worried look.
"Are you sure this is right?"
"Do you not trust me?"
"I do but...Castle Three's boss is Wart? Seriously?"
"Yep. Word is the old croak owed the Koopa King a favor and now he's called him in to collect the debt. I'll need a bit more time to get you information on Castles Four through Seven and the big turtle's HQ itself. But you can count on me to get what you need."
"If this is right, then I'm-a gonna need all the help I can get."
"Think you can get Mario to suck it up and play ball?"
"I might be able to...If I can make him a deal."
"Like what?"
"*sigh* I may have to resort to blackmail."
"Oooh...You got dirt on your brother?"
"That's between me and him."
"Just remember the deal. Pay me half of the coin each of you makes for saving the Princess."
"I know...Thanks again for the help, Nabbit."
"Pleasure doing business, Luigi."
Luigi takes his leave with another deep drink of water. Nabbit makes his exit out a window without paying. Outside, Luigi finds Mario quenching his thirst by dunking his head in the village fountain and gulping water like a fish. He ends up nearly choking till Luigi slaps his back and he spits a coin out.
"You okay, bro?"
"*coughing* I was...I was fine...Thanks."
Luigi rolls his eyes and sits on the rim of the fountain as Mario settles down.
"So...*cough* What did the rabbit say?"
"*sigh* We can't do this separately."
Mario chuckles.
"Oh? What's the matter? Is little Weegee scared to go it alone?"
"Bro...Castle Three's boss is Wart."
That made Mario stop mid-laugh.
"You're joking, right?"
Luigi shakes his head and shows Mario the paper Nabbit gave him. Mario reads it, pacing as he does.
"How did Bowser manage to get Wart? I thought when we beat him that second time, he and Subcon vanished."
"Subcon is the land of dreams. One needs only to dream of it to find it."
"Smart move, posting him in the Frozen zone. No vegetable to hit him with. What's in Castle Four?"
"Don't know yet. Nabbit just got me that as a start."
"Does he still expect me to pay?"
"Yeah."
"*scoff* Good luck with that."
"Mario, be serious. This is not like the other times we save the Princess. This isn't going to be easy."
"I can handle this. Nothing that overgrown lizard can throw at me will keep me from being the hero."
"Mario!"
"You can go home if you want, but I'm-a gonna do this."
"I'm-a trying to say we need to do this together!"
"And I'm-a saying I don't need your help!"
"Koopmas party!"
That made Mario look at his brother funny.
"What?"
"Last Koopmas, you got drunk, remember?"
"So I had a few, big deal, it was a party after all."
"You woke up crammed in the chimney."
"What's your point?"
"Before that, you went all crazy and did so many embarrassing things...All of which I recorded in photos and video."
Mario glares.
"You're bluffing."
"I'll post all of it, unless...You stop trying to go it alone and do this together with me. I mean, are we not called the Super Mario Brothers? We're stronger as a team and you know it."
Mario gives his brother a stern look and Luigi returns it back.
"I don't know whether to shove you into this fountain or be impressed you-a finally stood your ground."
Luigi is surprised.
"S-So you'll do it?"
"Yes, I'll pay the darn rabbit. You've earned this one, bro."
Luigi leaps with joy and hugs Mario, a cute little display that passersby witness with mixed reactions.
"I'm-a so happy! Now nothing can stop us! Teamwork goes a long way when going up against Bowser."
"Stick with me, Bro, and we'll win this one together."
"You got it, Mario! We'll show Bowser and all the mid-bosses some real Mario Bros. teamwork!"
"Yeah, let's roast this frog!"
"Toad."
"Huh?"
"King Wart is a toad. Not a frog."
"Whatever. They both croak and go ribbit."
"Wow, Mario. Speciesism is something I didn't expect from you."
"I didn't mean it like that!"
"*snicker* Got ya!"
At his limit, Mario shoves Luigi into the fountain.
"Come on, Luigi. We got a Princess to rescue."
Luigi splashes and sloshes his way out of the fountain as Mario starts walking out of town, leaving wet footprints in the sand while catching up with his brother. Though miffed at being soaked for the moment, Luigi was pleased with himself. He managed to rope his stubborn brother in and fixed things so that the dynamic duo can again kick bad guy butt. Princess Peach is as good as theirs so long as they can maintain this balance of brotherly respect. He only hoped his clothes would dry out before they reached the zone of ice or he'd become a Super Mario Brosicle.
Mario himself felt a little bit of pride for his brother. Sure, he's normally the big hero but he knew there were times where Luigi out shinned him. Maybe the reason he was always so tough on Luigi was that he was scared. Scared that the spotlight might fade for himself. Scared his brother might be the one others will call on. Scared Luigi will get hurt dealing with the kind of madness he has to fight each time Peach ends up in danger. But his way of dealing with this was less than helpful. Being tough kept Luigi down, not made him stand up. It was crushing him. But this blackmail thing, this showed Mario that Luigi maybe the more sensitive brother, but he had thicker skin too. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to properly teach Luigi how to do the same things he does.
Only time would tell if it is time well used. Wart is not one to be taken lightly. Wart is a large green toad with a big white round belly, a general body shape resembling a frog, a vaguely crocodilian snout filled large white teeth, and large claws on his two-toed feet and four-fingered hands. He is typically depicted as wearing a blue cape. He also wears a crown, a large pendant on a gold necklace, and gold bracelets. Very little of his personality has been revealed beyond the fact that he is bad and is willing to cause mayhem and destruction in order to achieve his goal of ruling Subcon. However, he is cunning and patient enough to bide his time between attacks, and the fact that he stole all the Mario statues may indicate a spiteful side to his personality.
Wart is the leader of a gang known as the 8-bits and his major fame in villainy centers around his efforts to conquer Subcon, a land of dreams. He is the most mischievous of all in the world of dreams. He created monsters by playing with the dream machine. To attack, Wart can spit streams of bubbles or jets of water. Wart uses the hijacked Dream Machine and his army to conquer Subcon. The plot about the storybook is removed, however, and Wart is simply left undefeated. Instead of fighting him, the natives of Subcon make contact with Mario through one of his dreams, pleading for him to save them and telling him about Wart's weakness: a distaste for vegetables. Mario initially dismisses the message as a regular dream, but the next day he, Luigi, Princess Toadstool, and Toad discover a door to Subcon and decide to save the dream world from Wart. After his defeat, Wart is seen one last time during the victory celebrations, being crowd-surfed across land by the now-freed Subcons. As he disappears off into the distance, swirls and stars appear, implying that they serve him another beat-down for his actions.
After the victory celebrations, Mario and friends wake up in bed and are left to wonder if the events that transpired really happened or if they are no more than products of a dream, then continue sleeping. But this wasn't the case and Wart would not fade into memory so easily. After his defeat, Wart and his crew escaped to another dream and laid low for a while, eventually returning and attacking Subcon once more, forcing its king into hiding and moving him to summon Mario, Luigi, Toad and Princess Peach once more. This time, Wart also steals the golden statues that had been placed around the land as thanks for Mario's previous rescue. He possesses the same attacks and is defeated the same way as in his earlier appearances yet after his defeat, Subcon vanishes.
Now Wart is back and in the waking world under Bowser's employ. This is going to be hard in so many ways. But where's the fun in a challenge without a someone that wants to beat the snot out of you?
Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.
If there are any questions, feel free to ask.