Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^

The race is over and the lot of us head back home to Bowser's castle. Though some are not happy with how things turned out when that last kart crossed the finish line.

"I can't believe ya really did that, sugar."

"You make it sound like I did something nobody saw coming."

"This is a travesty! I demand a do-over!"

"Oh my god! Will you give it a rest already, Iggy?"

"I will not! This is insanity!"

"Calm down. It's not like you came in dead last."

"I should've been first, dang it!"

"So you came in second, big whoop. Stop crying about it."

"I'm not crying! A three-way tie is just unheard of!"

"Just because no one's ever done it before, doesn't mean it can't happen."

"Morton like the sound of that logic."

"And really, are you mad about coming in second place when you normally would've been in fourth?"

"..."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. You're only mad because of Spiny Rage. Give it some time and you'll feel better. And if not, I'll make you something sweet to turn that frown back around."

"What? No fair! If Iggy gets treats, then I want some too, Mama."

"Same here."

"Us too."

"Fine. What do you guys want?"

"Cookies!"

"What kind?"

"Like the ones made by Zess T.!"

"No! Make them like Tayce T. does!"

"No! Like Saffron and Dyllis!"

"How about I make them all. That sound fair? Just a big platter of cookies for everyone."

"Yay!"

Ah, these kids. It's moments like that which remind me of just how young they are despite their age and size. I really need to keep reminding myself that these are kids and not just mean that because they're younger than me. These are children...His children...I must maintain a level of professionalism. I can't let this affect me more than it already has. I like Bowser. I like his kids. I consider them to be my closest friends that border on family-ish. But I can't deny the facts of the matter. Bowser has a thing for me. Some of his children have a thing for me. Yet he's getting married to Princess Peach and I am unsure of the whole thing.

Do I have feelings for Bowser that are as strong as the ones he's expressed for me? I mean, sure, I kissed him. And I can't lie, he's an amazing kisser. Like, oh my god my legs are melting, kind of kisser. Like, not only would he be able to wake Sleeping Beauty with his level of tenderness but could easily get her to agree to make a baby with him. Wait...Can Koopas and Humans even make kids? What would that make? How would intimacy even work? Uh...Aaah! Mental images I can't unimagine! I need brain bleach!

"Mama be careful!"

Snapping out of my less than ideal thoughts, I manage to narrowly avoid driving into a ditch that goes more off-road than this kart or I can handle.

"You okay, Lynn mom?"

"I'm okay. Thanks for the heads up."

"Lost in thought again?"

"Yeah."

"I think you might have a problem."

"Nah, sugar doesn't have a problem. She just needs to choose better times to be thinkin' about me~."

"At this point, I think you're the one with the problem, Roy."

On and on it goes. I swear, these kids argue more about my relationship status than people on MushSpace or Koopabook. And they keep talking all the way back home, which as you might guess, makes it really hard to think when your brain is trying to keep attention on multiple voices at once.

At least this sort of drama and nuttiness will end when we step inside.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU HIRE THOSE TWO?!"

Or I could be wrong and things will only get more insane.

"*ahem*"

Coughing loudly manages to get attention on the eight of us, thus causing Bowser to pause in his yelling at what looks like Kamek while Kammy watches.

"Did we come back at a bad time?"

The mad King huffs through his nose a few times and runs a calming hand through his hair.

"No. This is nothing. Just stupid stuff. Why don't you and the kids relax or something? I'll join you shortly."

Now, I know better than to believe a bold face lie like that. There are too many obvious red flags pointing to something has happened. But I also know when and where the right time is to poke this proverbial bear with my question stick. And now is not that time or place.

"As you wish, my King."

I direct the kids to follow me out of the room. Whatever it is that they're fighting about, we don't need to get in the middle of it. Besides...I now have tons of cookies to make. I don't need more distractions.

Sadly for Kamek, a distraction would be a welcoming thing to what was going on right now.

"Now where were we...Oh yes...Explain to me why you thought hiring those two would help me?"

"Sire, please...They're just to run interference. Heck, if they actually succeed then what's the problem?"

"The problem is, I DON'T LIKE THEM!"

"But, my lord..."

"*heavy snarling*"

"Can I speak here?"

Kammy chimes in.

"The way I see it is...Bowser, you should appreciate the support Kamek is trying to do so you can be victorious."

"I am."

"And Kamek, you should've respected Bowser enough to have consulted with him before hiring on Wario and Waluigi."

"I know."

"...Then what is the big ding dong deal?"

"The big deal is, the enemies of my enemy are a huge pain in the shell. That farting bus thinks he's so tough that I'd allow him to destroy MY nemesis. Every time we manage to get on the same team, he thinks he can do whatever he wants. Only I am allowed to defeat Mario! Me! Not him! And I'll be damned if somehow that purple stick bug steals away what is rightfully mine! Bad enough I'm resorting to calling on their old foes. The last thing I wanted was to actually have them join in all this."

"I just figured, since we hired her, you'd be more okay with some extra muscle."

"She's a different matter. I can actually list the times she's never failed on one hand. Care to guess the number? Twice! Wario can't even best her and Waluigi...*scoff* I doubt he'd even blip on her radar."

"Who are you two talking about?"

"The most feared treasure hunting pirate to roam the sea."

"The woman that once she sets her eyes on something, won't rest till it's hers."

"The self-made queen of Kitchen Island."

"The one, the only, the Boss of the Black Sugar Gang...Captain..."

[Meanwhile: In the Kitchen]

"Maple Syrup...Where the heck is the Maple Syrup?"

I dig through several cabinets, finally finding a large jug of syrup hidden behind some flour bags.

"Geez, these cookies are such a pain. This had better earn me some serious brownie points."

If I were making a single type of cookie, this would be no big deal. But making multiple verities at once is crazy. The Zess Cookie can be made by cooking some Cake Mix with Gradual Syrup, Maple Syrup, and a Mystic Egg. The food heals fifteen HP and fifteen FP, making it superior to the original Big Cookie, which restores twenty FP. The Big Cookie is made with Cake Mix and a Blue Berry, Red Berry, or Yellow Berry, a Goomnut, plus an Egg. The Big Cookie can be used to replenish twenty FP if used. This can be considered an improvement, as the various ingredients heal either 0, 3 or 5FP. However, some of the ingredients heal HP as well, and this bonus is lost when creating a Big Cookie. The Kooky Cookie is made with Cake Mix, a Koopa Leaf, a Stinky Herb, and Maple Syrup. It restores fifteen FP and will cause one of three status effects: Invisibility, Electrified, or Sleeping. The Sweet Cookie Snack is made simply by cooking a Cake Mix. The Sweet Cookie Snack restores ten HP and cures Poison. The Yoshi Cookie is a weird one, being made with Cake Mix and a Melon. A Yoshi Cookie restores fifteen HP and fifteen FP.

Doing all this, the cooks are less than happy with me. While I try not to make a mess, working with or around the bunch causes its fair share of issues when navigating each of our own dishes and oven use.

"Did you really have to bake cookies now?"

"I know, but it was either do it when I came back or have the kids yell 'we want cookies' for hours."

"True, but we'll get it worse if the King doesn't get his food on time."

"Didn't he get a cart of food like a couple of hours ago?"

"Doesn't matter. We are tasked with making meals on time regardless of anything eaten in the meantime."

"Understood. At least I'm almost done. Just ten minutes left."

"That's good."

"Can I ask what's on the menu tonight?"

"No, but I can let you in on tomorrow's little surprise...Peachy Peaches."

I cock my head confused.

"Every dish will contain Peachy Peaches. Fresh Juice, Fruit Parfait, Fruity Cake, Fruity Hamburger, Fruity Punch, Fruity Shroom, Heartful Cake, Peach Juice, Peach Tart, and a Zess Dinner."

"But...There are no peaches in Fruity Hamburger. It is made from a Power Steak and a Keel Mango."

"That's just one way of doing it. A Hamburger may replace the Power Steak and a Peachy Peach can also be used instead of the Mango."

"Oh...Cool. Yet...Why all the Peach stuff? Did her royal pain make demands?"

"Yes, but no. The menu is what his lordship requested."

"Bowser wanted this? Why?"

"For the party, silly."

The dead stare I give alerts him that I haven't a clue what he's talking about.

"*sigh* The King is planning to woo the Princess with a rather, how shall I say this...Sickeningly sweet display of romantic affection to gain her favor into a willing marriage."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Huh?"

"You sounded off. Disappointed even."

"Did I?"

Am I really disappointed by this? I knew this was his plan from day one. So why is there a small part of me that feels pissed off?

"Well, it is a known thing I that disapprove of him settling for her. But if he's that desperate for her things, then who am I to object."

*ding*

"Oh! The cookies are done!"

Wow, that was a faster 180° than what the kids and I did on the racetrack. Maybe I am upset. I mean, don't I have a good reason to be? That hot head came on to me, tells me his feelings, kisses me, and what is he doing now? Planning some big show to get some messed up bitch to marry him. That coldblooded son of a...!

*yelp and clang*

The cooks look over at me as I now hold my right hand tightly in my left.

"What happened?!"

I'm gritting my teeth to keep from yelling.

"*sharp wince* Skin on oven contact!"

One cook is kind enough to help get my stiff form over to the sink so I can soak my hand in cold water. OH MY GOD THIS STINGS! Sure, it's only a minor flesh wound and it won't take long to heal if taken care of properly, but that's not the point right now!

"You should see the medic and make sure that doesn't become infected."

"Fine. But can you make sure the kids..."

"Yes, we'll make sure the children get their cookies. Now go. We can handle things from here."

I do as told only after wrapping a wet cloth around my hand. Next time, I'll remember to use the oven mitts and not the potholders. Here's hoping the medic can make sure this doesn't end up leaving a scar.

[Meanwhile: In Castle Four]

The door leading out of the castle opens, being partly submerged, water rushes in till it levels out. Soon, two forms step out into the soft glow coming from the rising full moon above that is casting onto the glistening watery land around them. There they stand. Mario and Luigi. Tall and proud, with a strange white ball under their arms that seem to have long floppy ears.

"I'm-a little surprised."

"Oh yeah. By what?"

"They put up more fight than I gave them credit for."

"You're always underestimating your opponents. One day, you're gonna run into someone that you can't beat and you'll be too stubborn to retreat when you should."

"*scoff* Uh, hello, it's-a me we're talking about. I'm-a the hero. No big bad boss can beat me."

"Mark my words, bro. Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."

"...You big nerd."

"There is nothing wrong with taking time to read good literature."

"Whatever. You think we should really be bringing these two with us?"

Mario spins his white ball on his finger. The face of Dunk glaring in the spinning.

"They wouldn't last long in there, what with all those predators. Least we can do is drop them off at the next village."

"It's weird, right? That they can go from being rabbits to balls?"

Luigi holds out his ball and looks it over. The face of Shoot appears to be sleeping or just unconscious.

"Yeah, it is weird. But also very convenient."

"True. Can you imagine having to lug them both?"

"Well..."

"I am not fat!"

"You're over 200 pounds! For crying out loud, bro. The average weight someone of your height should be is around 100 to 130 pounds."

"Don't start this again. And what do you mean 'someone of my height'? I'm not short!"

"You're so short, Peach fully bends down to kiss you."

"You're one to talk. How much do you weigh, Mr. 5'9''?"

"150 pounds. Perfectly fine."

"...Why are you so on my case about this! Wario is 308 pounds and I don't see you barking at him!"

"That's because he's not my brother!"

Luigi's shout rattles Mario and the two pause. Slowly, the brothers continue on. Silence being their new companion. This journey to save the Princess was starting to become more of a therapy session than either of the two ever thought could happen on such an adventure. Their only hope, they didn't kill each other by the time they reached the Koopa Kingdom. But it made them wonder, was Peach doing okay? How could their dear sweet Princess be handling being in the claws of their most wicked of enemies?

[Meanwhile: In a rather pink room at Castle Koopa]

Princess Peach sits at her vanity in her nightgown and brushes her hair a total of a hundred times per-side. She may be stuck in her room, but she'd be damned if she didn't stick to her regiment of maintaining her looks. Water does wonders for the skin. It keeps skin hydrated and healthy. So she starts her beauty routine first thing in the morning by getting out of bed and drinking a full glass of water. Throughout the day, she will continue to consume clean clear water but not overdo it. The latest medical research suggests that you drink 0.5 ounces to 1 ounce of water per pound of body weight. If you weigh 130 pounds, you should consume between 65 and 130 ounces of water every day. To put that in a more familiar measurement, 8 ounces is equivalent to 1 measuring cup. So for our 130-pound example above, you would need to drink between 8 and 16 measuring cups of water every day.

Another step in her daily care is instead of using a low-quality facial cleanser in the morning, she simply rinses her face with warm water. If properly washed before bed, the skin will still be clean in the morning. Therefore, there's no need to wash with a cleanser again. In fact, overusing facial cleansers can dry the skin, which can lead to an increased production of oil.

The human body continuously produces new skin cells. The old ones are sloughed off over the course of the day. Those dead skin cells sometimes don't slough off as quickly as we'd like and can actually clog pores and leave the skin looking older than it actually is. In order to maintain healthy, youthful, glowing skin, one needs to remove old, dead skin cells and encourage proper cellular turn over. Exfoliating both removes the old dead skin cells and speeds up cell renewal enabling new healthy skin cells to grow. As important as exfoliation is, it's easy to overdo it. Exfoliation, by nature, removes the top layer of dead skin cells and exposes the more delicate, sensitive skin underneath. This can be good for the skin's appearance but can also make it more susceptible to sun damage. So instead of exfoliating every day, she restricts this step to once a week to protect her skin from the ravages of the sun and to keep it looking smooth and healthy.

Regardless of age and skin type, skin needs moisture to look and feel healthy. That's why a moisturizer is the next step in her daily beauty routine. She uses a moisturizer every day after washing or rinsing. So after a morning warm-water rinse, she applies a moisturizer to help keep her skin looking young. In her youth when battling acne or oily skin, she chose a moisturizer that was lightweight and oil-free. And never does she forget to moisturize her décolleté (neck and chest). These parts of the female body are just as susceptible to wrinkles that can make a lady look years older.

When not adorning her face in the finest of makeup that highlights her gorgeousness so that others can gaze at her in marvelous splendor, she removes it all so as to be all natural. To get rid of the dirt and makeup on her face, she washes with a cleanser or gentle soap before bed. By washing with a cleanser once a day, she can avoid over-washing which causes dry skin. That said, if she exercises during the day, it's a good idea to wash her face immediately after so that the sweat doesn't clog her pores and cause acne. Oh, the horror! It's also important not to neglect her neck and chest during this part of her beauty routine. The skin of the neck and chest responds to makeup, sweat, and sun just like the face does.

Then again, nothing really compares to a nice long steam bath to soothe away all woes and one's self ready for a full night's rest. And what better way to drift off to dreamland than to be wafted in one's most delightful of aromas? Nothing but the best for the lovely Princess. Pink Flower, her absolute favorite, is described as a chypre. A floral fragrance that begins with fruity notes of mandarin, orange, and raspberry, along with spicy hints of black pepper. Rose is mixed with delicate white flowers including jasmine sambac in the heart of the composition, which ends with the base of patchouli and vanilla.

"*sigh* Funny...I don't think I've ever had such a peaceful stay at Bowser's Castle before. Even if I am confined to this room. Though I must admit, I'm rather surprised he finally took this seriously. I can't so much as sneeze without someone knowing. But it's not like it matters. Mario will come. He always does. I mean, it's not like that fool possibly said anything that was true. Mario saves me because he loves me. And Luigi..."

That has her give pause. Luigi is but a friend. Besides, he's with Daisy. Such a foolish idea it would be to even consider, nay, entertain the remote possibility that he would bare feelings that match that of his brother.

"Luigi...Loving me...How absurd. *chuckles*"

And yet...a small part of her wish it to be true.

Her chortles were short-lived, as the sound of her food tray hatch opened a little and an envelope slid in. Curious, she stops her brushing and goes to check it out. The black envelope was bordered in red and sealed with a wax emblem of Bowser's face.

"Oooh. Fancy. Didn't think the beast was capable of such finery."

Tearing the side she freed the parchment that was secured inside.

"Dear Princess, you are cordially invited to join me, his supreme awesomeness...God that's tacky...To join me at a show in your honor. There will be live entertainment, the freshest of foods, and only the finest of finery. I do hope you agree to grace my home further with your presence. Your smile alone will shine a new light on this world. All the gold in my treasure trove fails in comparison to your lovely locks. The sea itself envies your eyes for being a blue that it can never hope to be. And roses themselves wilt in shame, for none that bloom can ever wish to be as perfect as you. ...No way Bowser wrote this. It can't be. This is like a million times better than anything any guy has ever written me. Heck, the most romantic thing Mario's ever wrote me was a poem that compared me to spaghetti. ...I understand if you say no. Our interactions have been less than civil. But I feel we, as two adults, can put our differences aside and converse properly like the royals we are. So do not think of this as a forced order by an abductor to a hostage. You can refuse this if you so choose to. But do think of this as a humble King meekly requesting the company of a wonderful Princess for a short time so that the two can enjoy each other's company and exchange pleasantries. A servant will arrive at your door around noon and will await your answer. Till then, I thank you for taking the time to bother even reading this. Honestly, I'm betting you tore this to shreds or burned it or even flushed it down the drain without even opening it. Lord knows if I hated me as much as I think you hate me, I'd probably do that. Wait! Don't write that down! Why are you still writing this?! *laughs* Okay, now I know he made this."

Wiping a stray tear of amusement from her eye, Peach places the letter down and returns to her hair brushing.

"I suppose I can humor the guy. Plus it would get me out of this room for a little bit. And I guess he said some pretty nice things. Heh...I wonder...Can I possibly milk this?"

Thus the gears in her mind began to turn, beginning to formulate a very wicked scheme of the heart.

[In another room of the castle]

The Koopalings and Jr. partake in many cookies as they await the return of their surrogate human mom.

"Do you think she'll get a scar?"

"I hope not."

"I dunno. Scars are pretty epic. Sugar with a scar sounds hot~."

"As always, you're view on the flower is less than appealing, brother."

Ludwig had finally managed to wash off all the marker scribbles his siblings had marred him with and has been with them since the aroma of fresh baked goods caught his attention.

"Haters gonna hate."

"Mama already has a scar."

Jr. states rather calmly while eating, causing the others to look at him questionably.

"What?"

"No, she doesn't."

"I never saw any on her."

"You don't look...*burp* hard enough. Excuse me."

"You're excused."

"Oh yeah? Then do tell, little expert, where is this scar that none of us has seen?"

"On her forehead. It's really light and it hides in her paleness."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah-huh...But that's just the main one."

"Main one?"

"You know what I mean. It's the biggest one. Mama has a few tiny ones too. Some on her legs, I think a few on her back, but most are on or around her hands. Very easy to miss."

"...Why?"

"Yeah. Did you ever ask how she got those?"

"Morton would very much like to know the same."

Jr. scarfs down a mouthful of cookie.

"*muffled*"

"What?"

"*gulp* I said...*sigh* Just ask her."

"Why ya little..."

"No! All you do is try to force on her. Stop and ask yourselves. What do you really know about her?"

Even Roy, who had been seconds away from throwing a punch, had to pause in something as blatant as that. What did they really know about the girl that had come into their lives and was now someone they wanted all to themselves? No sooner did questions start to form in their minds did a door open and in walks in the woman herself. She smiles, as she always does, only now a decent size bandage covers the back of her right hand.

"Mama!"

The young Prince bounds to her and for once she didn't fall over in the collision.

"Hi, sweetie. Sorry to make you wait and worry."

"Does it hurt?"

She picks him up and cradles the boy in her left arm.

"Nah. It's not the first time I've been burned. This gal has a high pain tolerance. Plus the doc gave me some numbing stuff that is amazing. I can't feel a thing from the elbow down. Heheh...Tingly."

The woman dangles her hand and the boy messes with it like it were some strange toy. But the other, older children, are now taking Jr.'s words for more worth. She's been hurt before? Burned even. She did tell them she had nearly died in her younger years. Just what is the story behind this human?

"So...Do any of you know about the little shindig Bowser's throwing tomorrow?"

And just like that, the feeling in the room changed dramatically. Maybe if they gently steer this away...

"King Dad is going to ask Peach to marry him!"

Or Lemmy can blurt out the bluntest response next to getting smacked by a mallet.

"Oh. And here I was thinking he was just going to flaunt his power like a showy peacock."

Something seemed off. Sure, it was something she'd say, but the sound...It just felt different somehow.

"You're not upset, are you, Mama?"

"Upset? Why would I be upset? So what if he wants to marry that harpy of a woman. It's not my place to tell him no, I'm just the caretaker. It's his life, he's King, he can do what he wants. Even if what he wants is something we all know is not worth putting a ring on that shrew's finger."

Okay, something really isn't right. Jr. climbs up her and sits on her shoulders, his little arms hug her head almost as if he was comforting her for some reason that is unknown to the others. Some of the Koopalings begin to grow suspicious of such odd signs, while the others are without a clue. The girl, however, merely joins them and acts as if the young Prince is a living hat.

"So with Lemmy confirming you guys are in the know about this for, what I'll guess is way longer than the hour or two that I've been aware of it for...What role is it you'll be playing for big bad Bowser?"

Wendy is the first to speak up.

"Well, we're kind of suppose to put on a show."

Lynsie tilts her head a little in question.

"A show?"

Ludwig's turn.

"Milady...My siblings are to perform the songs I've been working on."

That made her chuckle.

"Heh...I didn't see that one coming. I assume you've all been practicing when not in my line of sight?"

"Eh...Not really."

"Oh?"

"Tomorrow's just a rehearsal for the real deal."

"King Daddy plans to do it the day after."

"Hmmm...Doesn't give you all much time to get ready."

"Rush work is something of a specialty of ours."

"We do our best when we know something is on the line."

"Like when Wendy exercises!"

That has them all looking at Lemmy.

"What did you say?"

"You know...When you get on that treadmill thing, you stick a picture of a guy you like on a string and chase it."

Wendy's face turns as red and Jr.'s hair as snickering starts to threaten to become laughter.

"Lemmy...Run."

The tiny young man is confused until Wendy leaps at him.

"I'm going to get you!"

"What did I do?"

Lemmy's innocence is going to be the end of him one day, just not now.

"And what about you, Jr.? You going to be on stage with the rest of the family?"

"Nope. I get to host."

"Can I get a sneak peek?"

Iggy shakes his head.

"It won't be as fun to spoil the surprise now, would it?"

She pouts.

"You tease."

Larry snickers.

"You know us, Lynn Mom. We just love being mean."

She frowns but then smirks.

"That's true. And since I'm part of this wackiness, maybe I can try being mean too. For example...Maybe I should take the rest of the cookies away."

"No!"

"That's just cruel."

"Yeah...Keep the cookies. I can't be mean to you cuties."

"Yay!"

"Though I will have to spoil things for you..."

She stands up, being mindful of Jr. upon her shoulders, and grins.

"If my sense of time is right, which I reckon it might not be, but it should be supper time. It would be best to save the rest for later and not ruin your appetite."

The room fills with the whines of the young ones.

"Now don't give me that. I can always make more if you want. But tomorrow's a busy day for you all and tummy aches would be rather troublesome. So no more groaning. Let's go eat, wash up, then hit the sheets for some sweet dreams. Sound like a plan?"

"On one condition."

Morton smirks and she sighs.

"And would that be, dear?"

The biggest of the children approached her, his height showing of his maturing stage in puberty while his age does not. Morton smiles and hugs the human tight, earning him some hearty giggles.

"Morton misses Lynn lady's hugs."

"You can have all the hugs you want, Morton dear. You just have to ask."

"Can we have hugs too?"

"You all can have huggies. But then it's off to dinner, okay?"

"Okay, Mama."

Once Morton released his hold, one by one, the others took their turns getting affection before taking off to get the last meal for the day...All but Roy that is. The big bad bully hung back as his brethren obeyed Lynsie's request till it was only the two of them in the room.

"You okay there, tough guy?"

"Ya, I'm fine."

"You sure? Normally you wouldn't miss a shot to get some sugar from your sweetheart."

That makes him smirk.

"So ya admit to being my girl?"

"I admit nothing but concern."

"Oh yeah?"

Roy moves over to her and she stands strong, something he finds charming.

"Ya know ya like me. Ya can put on that pretty brave face of yours all ya like. Ya can say no and deny it in front of the others too, but deep down..."

He trails his claws along her arm playfully.

"Ya can't help that feelin' that is whisperin' in my voice...Makin' me feel like ya want me so badly is one of the sexiest, most flatterin' things you can do to me~."

She half smiles.

"I can't feel that."

"Denial doesn't work on ya, sugar."

"No, I mean, I really can't feel that. You're touching my numb arm."

Roy's cool breaks and he gives a nervous laugh before rubbing the back of his head with a faint blush.

"Heh...My bad."

"Look Roy...This thing we do, I...I think we should..."

"Wait, before ya say it, I totally agree."

"...You do?"

"Yep. We should come out as official. That way, the old man will back off and stick to his pink ball & chain."

She frowns.

"Roy..."

"By the way, did ya ever ask the old man about our date?"

"I did. But..."

"He tell ya no?"

"He didn't really say yes or no. But..."

"Alright. I'll take it as a yes. So pack a bag, sugar. After pop's little weddin' mess, I'm takin' ya out to Bubblaine. It'll just me and you~."

"Roy, I'm trying to...!"

His sudden kiss silenced her. His hands move up to hold her face in his palms and her hands came to hold his wrists. Her touch made him stop, yet he didn't move away, only lean his forehead against hers.

"Roy..."

"Sugar...It's hard to wait for somethin' ya know might not happen. But it's even harder to give up when ya know it's everythin' ya ever wanted. So, please...Don't tell me so stop lovin' ya. Because I can't and I won't. I refuse to. Not till you're mine, Lynsie."

Her eyes began to moisten and a sad look was fighting to take over her face.

"I...I don't understand why you're doing this, Roy."

"What's there to understand? I like ya. A lot. Ya make me happy. Ya make me laugh. You're smart. You're different. You're lovingly sweet. You're a little crazy and awkward. But your smile alone makes my day. If I can be honest..."

He pulls back a bit to remove his shades, making it all the more serious in nature with pure eye contact.

"I don't know much about ya. I don't know where I stand with ya. I don't know what I mean to ya either. Yet what I do know is this...Every time I think of you, I want to be with you."

"I do like you, Roy. You're the kind of guy that a girl can only dream of. Never has a guy paid me more attention or fought so hard to make sure he's near me. You are the first to be so many things I've never had before."

"Then let me continue to be that person. I can do things for ya like no one else in this world."

"I'm sure you're right about that."

"Then why does it feel like you're about to say somethin' bad?"

"I'm not, or I'm not trying to. *sigh* It's hard to say this. ...I don't think there's a way this would work."

"Why? Is it 'cause you're older than me? I don't care."

"No, it's not that. But the age thing is a part of it."

"How? It's a four-year difference."

"You're forgetting I'm not a Koopa. Human years are different than yours. Our ages are as different as a cat and a dog."

"I don't care. That doesn't change how I feel about ya."

"Roy, you are a teenager in your species's age. That thought pops up every time you flirt with me and it makes me uncomfortable. I can't get involved romantically with a kid."

"Hey! I ain't no kid! I am Roy Koopa. Master of Sky Zone. Toughest of the tough. No kid can ever do what I can."

"I know you're not a kid...You're a teen."

His brow frowns hard in a glare.

"Did the others put ya up to this? Was it Jr.?"

"What?"

"I bet it was Ludwig. That pompous snob thinks he can screw up my girl's head and break us up so he can have a shot, well no dice! I won't let anybody mess this up. You are my girl. Mine! No one else's."

"You're blowing this out of proportion. There's no conspiracy to break us up. We're not even together to be broken up in the first place."

His glare gets more intense and she returned it back to him with a weaker one of her own.

"Answer me this...Is there someone else?"

"Huh?"

"Is there someone else?"

"That likes me or that I like?"

"That ya like."

"I like everybody."

"I mean like like. Like the kinda like that makes ya want to smooch."

"Oooh. Got it."

She looked off in thought.

"I don't know."

That answer didn't work for him.

"Ya don't know?"

"I don't know. Since being here, I haven't been trying to find love. Yet, all of you...For the first time, I've found others I want to be around. I've found others I can't get enough of. I found others that accept me for who I am and don't tell me to change. I don't know if I will fall in love with any of you. But I do know I can fall in love with all of you. Just...Let me understand my feelings and at the same time, you can learn more about me. Is that a fair trade for you?"

He folds his arms in annoyance but does give her words some thought. She made a simple request. The least he could do is go with it. After a moment or two, he placed his shades back on and nodded coolly.

"Fine."

"Are you mad at me?"

The tough guy bully melted at her worried puppy eyes.

"Nah, sugar. I ain't mad at ya. Sorry if I came off like that. I just care about ya so much."

"I know. I care about you too, Roy."

She pulls him into a warm hug and he smiles kindly.

"So, tough guy, may I escort you to dinner?"

"Heh...Please, do me the honor, sweetheart."

He slides his hand in hers and she clumsily grasped it due to the sedative. That contact, that willingness to be with him and not push away, that is what his heart knew to mean she was his or at least choosing him to focus on.

But as they headed toward the dining hall, her thoughts were on other matters. She knew Roy's affection was playful, but since Bowser gave the kids "The Talk", the play became serious. Letting him down now will be even more challenging. And speaking of Bowser...His feelings in all this are even more of a pain. He admits his feelings for her, he says he wants her, and yet all his attention is being poured into Princess Peach. What would his plan be after the wedding anyway? Make Lynsie his woman on the side? Not cool. Not even a possibility. That ain't how Lynsie rolls. It's either full commitment or nothing at all. Maybe Roy isn't such a non-option than first thought. Sure, he'll look like he's 20 or 30 by the time she's in her golden years, but that's not really a big thing that bothers her. For that matter, if Bowser looks like he's 30-something, how old does that make him really?

"Hey, sugar..."

"Yeah?"

"Jr. told us that ya have scars. Is that true?"

"Yeah. I got a couple here and there."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"So there is one on your forehead?"

"I thought you knew about it. You always have the closest contact with me besides Jr.."

"I had no clue. Where is it?"

"Look dead center for a sec. It's small and very faint."

"...Whoa! How'd ya get that?"

"Metal baseball bat."

"Who hit ya?"

"It was an accident. I was coming back home when my brother and his friend were starting to play some ball. I was cutting my way through the bushes to get there quicker and just as I popped my head out, the bat was swung, and...That's when this happened."

"Was that the thing that almost killed ya?"

"Oh no. Far from it. I didn't even see a doctor for this thing. The thing that I almost died from was falling from a tree."

"...For real?"

"I know. It's super lame. But hey, it was high enough that the fall damage was that bad."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Landed my spine on an exposed tree root."

"Super ouch."

"Knocked the wind out of me and I couldn't exhale, only inhale. Almost died from the inability to breathe until I drank some water and reopened my windpipe."

"Okay, mega ouch."

"It's fine. I don't climb trees anymore. ...I do miss doing it though."

"No way. After hearin' that story, I'm keepin' ya grounded."

"Awe man. *snicker*"

"So minus the head scar, what are the others from?"

She looks at her hands.

"Random junk. Some are from accidents, others from animal interactions, very few are from fights."

"Ya fight?"

"If I have to."

"What's bad enough to make a sweetheart like ya fight?"

She pauses for a bit.

"Sugar?"

"Let's just say, other's aren't as accepting of humans as you are and leave it at that."

Roy frowns with concern but chooses not to pry. It's true that humans aren't the most liked kind in most kingdoms. But who or what would dare try to harm his sugar? Maybe that was why she can be prone to striking back if pushed enough. There's only so many times you can let things slide before enough is enough. But Lynsie? Really? Just what is the story behind her? What mystery is hidden behind that smile? That was something he planned on finding out and keeping to himself. His girl's secrets are his and his alone. No need to let any of the competition know more than necessary. Where's the fun in that?

Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.
If there are any questions, feel free to ask.