"Jacob I was thinking about what you said, about you and Renesme."
"You've finally accepted it?"
"No, nor do I comprehend it."
"That sucks, I thought you were really smart."
"The smartest man alive couldn't figure that out."
"Well, then I guess it doesn't damage your rep, since you're not really a man or alive."
"Anyway, I was wondering-"
"Wait, you're asking me a question that isn't to make fun of me?"
"Sort of, I guess. So anyway-"
"Dude that's so cool, I knew you thought I was smart."
"No, not really, I was just curious, can I go on now?"
"Just one second."
"Why?"
"I really want to savor this moment."
"Anyway, were you telling the truth about telling each other everything?"
"Yeah why?"
"I just wanted to know how you told her about making-out with her mother?"
"Oh, that."
"What, you told her, right?"
"Well not really."
"Well, then this should be fun."
"What?"
"Hay Nessy?"
"Oh, God no. Ed, don't"
"Nessy?"
"Yeah, daddy?"
"Can you come here for a second?"
"What do you need?"
"Jacob needs to tell you something."
"Yeah, Jake?"
"Um, yeah, well your father thinks that it's important I tell you about your mom and me."
"Jacob, first, may I tell you I will enjoy this completely?"
"Yeah, so Ness, once upon a time."
(laughing from Edward)
"Well before you were born, I kinda had this thing with your mom."
"What."
"Yeah, I really liked her, she was really hot."
"Oh my god."
-Edward "Go on Jacob"
"I may have kissed her a couple of times."
"WHAT! YOU MADE OUT WITH MY MOM?"
"Yeah, but then I imprinted, so it's okay now."
"So you mean, if I wasn't born, you'd still try to make out with her?"
"Yeah probably, so?
"Jacob, get out."
-Edward "See Jacob, I knew if you told her the truth, she'd agree with the rest of us."
"Ed, I really hate you."
"You too buddy, you too."
"A lot."
"You heard the lady, you, can leave now."
"Fine, but you know you'll miss me."
"Just as much as I miss James."