"Yes officer, this man in front of me. He tried to molest me."
She points at Katsuki shamelessly without any guilt as she covers her face as if crying. Her shoulders are trembling as if traumatized.
"I am sorry, sir. But I'm going to have to take you to the police station."
The police officer placed a hand on Katsuki's shoulder and pushes him to a car, and putting handcuffs on his hands.
"Don't fuck with me!"
He felt wronged. He didn't do anything of the sort and now his bitch of a maid accused him of such atrocity! How can he not get angry about it! He didn't even know what he did wrong.
[At the police station]
Both Katsuki and Tsuyu are sitting on their own chairs while facing a police officer. Katsuki was glaring at Tsuyu for a while now while the latter is just sitting on the chair innocently.
"Now, there seems to be a huge misunderstanding here."
He stares at Tsuyu with pity. "We have a self-proclaimed molested impassive cosplayer as the victim and..." He then stared suspiciously at the nutcase who is about to explode any moment while steam escapes his ears. "A short-tempered accused vulgar maniac as the suspect..."
The police officer clasps his hands together and smiles at the two. "Tell me, you two..." The police officer points at the two kids furiously. "What the hell exactly happened!? Abusing the authority of the police just to do this! You two sure have guts to use the police as a form of amusement!"
"I am telling you! This bitch right here accused me for nothing!" Katsuki stood up on his seat, ready to hit Tsuyu but he still had handcuffs. "Just look at her sly expression! Look at her, she's obviously grinning at me right now as if all is according to her plan!"
The officer looked at Tsuyu who is just sitting on the chair innocently that her eyes are even shining in innocence. The officer quickly disregarded Katsuki's previous statement.
"Sir, we won't be able to make a compromise if you keep acting like that. Or do you want to be jailed for two days due to vulgar language and assault?" He stared coldly at Katsuki and so he sat down reluctantly. He looked at Tsuyu who's still quiet but he could tell she was already celebrating on her mind.
"You're lucky you're still young or else you'll get a heavier sentence." The officer sighed and turns his sight to the 'completely innocent' Tsuyu. "Now, tell me the whole story."
"Officer," Tsuyu stood up from her seat with a confident look on her face. "This man beside me kidnapped me, took me to his house, constrained me with a contract, coerced me to wear this disgusting and repulsive outfit, forced me to do 'certain' things and tried to molest me once. Also, you can examine this noticeable and irrefutably 'genuine' hickey that he inflicted at my neck." She points at a red mark at her neck.
Katsuki was so speechless because of how many points he like to retort to, especially about the 'hickey'. 'Are you kidding me, that's a fucking mosquito bite you-' He wants to retort but the officer is still listening at her.
The officer closed his eyes. "Alright, he seems to be guilty, take him to the cell." The officer signals the other police.
When the police are about to take him in, Katsuki intervenes. "Wait! You haven't heard my side of the story yet!"
The officer stares at him coldly. "What's there to explain? You have all the qualities of a guilty suspect. You're showing it to us carelessly right now."
"No, this is injustice! Where is this country's equity!? Equality to all people!" He complained as he struggles out of the policemen's' grasp. "Seriously, I'll file a complaint!"
The officer sighed again in resignation. "Fine, but if you don't have irrefutable evidence, we'll extend your confinement."
He was then pushed by the policemen back at his chair.
"First off, I'll tell you what exactly happened." He declared while still glaring at Tsuyu.
"Hey slave! What's my current schedule for the day!" Katsuki shouted.
"This maid's position has been degraded into a lowly slave." Tsuyu bowed. She states sarcastically. "This one is delighted to be called such."
"Now, regarding your today's schedule." She looks at a paper and reads it. "Other than your 'relieving session' that this 'lowly grubber' recommended to Master, which you've recently finished for the day. You still have to do... basically nothing." She threw the paper without concern.
"What? Seriously, I have nothing to do!? And what's with you degrading yourself into a different term?!"
"You think you're some kind of CEO of a company that has so many things to do that you'll even ask someone to tell you about your schedule? Are you delusional? Or did this 'maid thing' already broke your mind?" Tsuyu looked at him as if looking at looking at a madman.
"What do you expect me to do?" He slumped at the sofa. "I've been living like this for two months. I'm surprised I even lasted this long, even with you troubling my ass."
"This 'lowly laborer' admires Master's mental fortitude. Only special types of people like you can stand this much."
"Are you saying that I'm abnormal?" He was angry but was more concerned about her degrading herself. "Seriously, stop degrading yourself."
"Master, you seem to be misinterpreting this 'lowly peon's' statement yet again. This one apologizes for being indirect."
A vein popped out of Katsuki's head. 'She's doing this on purpose! Does she have a grudge on me or something!? And she's still doing it!'
"Fine!" He stood up from the sofa. "Guess I'm going to train to kill some time."
"What will this 'lowly slave' do while Master is on a workout." She emphasized the 'lowly slave' resentfully.
'She is bearing some grudge on me. Her murderous intent is showing.' Sweat beads are flowing down his forehead.
Katsuki coughs. "Well, I guess you can help me with my workout. Besides, you have nothing to do, right?"
"Master, this 'lowly drudge' works for a theoretical amount of twenty-four hours a day. I also do cleaning, that includes all the effluvium around this establishment."
"Then why did you ask me for work!?"
"Although this 'lowly trash' demands for work due to contract agreement, this is too much. To support Master on his workout and stare at Master's muscles for too long will only result for this 'lowly waste' to release foamy saliva and die of chronic heart failure. I hope Master understands my circumstances."
'This maid is pushing her luck. And she was also sarcastically degrading herself to a whole new level!' His face is red from anger.
"Can you at least refrain from degrading yourself? It's mentally tiring!"
"As Master instructs." She bowed. "This 'lowly litter' complies."
"Gaaaaah!"
"..." The officer awkwardly stares at the two idiots in front of him. He doesn't even know anymore who's saying the truth nor he cares. "So, based on your 'story', she was frustrated because you insulted her for one time?" He starts assessing the situation. Afterwards, he looks at Katsuki pitifully. "Bring him to the cell."
"Wait what? Why!?" Katsuki yells in confusion.
"Your story is too unbelievable. Who gets angry over an insult?! Did you plagiarized this bullshit from a show or something?!"
"I know right." Tsuyu stated while impassively grinning at Katsuki with her eyes, almost as if she won the battle.
"Wait a minute!" He intervenes for another time. "I never said I'm finished with the story yet! That'a only the tip of the iceberg!"
"Oh, is that so?" The officer smiles at him, seemingly getting impatient over this farce. "Why didn't you say so earlier. Seriously, stop with the cliff-hangers. Just get to the point already!"
"Okay!" Katsuki yelled. Even he is already impatient to get out of this cursed building and punish Tsuyu later.
"May I ask why Master is obsessed with training everyday?" Tsuyu asked to Katsuki who's doing push-ups.
"Can't even tell the obvious?" Katsuki responded back. "To be the greatest hero! Is your brain dead or something?"
"This one admits her inadequacy." She replied sincerely. "But this one thinks that Master's mentality is damaged beyond repair, even worse than this one. To even compare himself to the strongest hero is but a mistake that needs correction."
"Fuck, I know that!" He admitted reluctantly. "So fucking help me here! Aren't you my maid?"
"As my Master commands." She walked to him elegantly and slumped heavily on his back. Katsuki almost fainted from the sudden heavy weight slamming on his back.
"What are you doing, damn it!"
"I am but assisting Master on his training."
"What the heck!" He tried to push-up but was struggling from her weight. "How fucking heavy are you!?"
Without notice, the weight increased even more, as if she was increasing the weight intentionally.
"What is Master uttering? I am only fifty-three kilograms at most." She answered indifferently.
'Are you kidding!? Even I can tell that you weigh more than a hundred!' He retorted in his mind.
"But isn't this a good thing?" She continued. "With my 'really-light' weight that already makes you struggle, it makes the training more efficient, isn't it?"
Katsuki made a serious expression in realization. She was correct! Why is he berating her unnecessarily? Might as well take advantage of her frustrated counter-attack as a form of training. "Fine! But your pay is deducted due to intentionally assaulting your client."
After saying that, Tsuyu just sat on his back silently as if she doesn't care a single bit.
After half an hour of doing push-ups, he gave up and fell down to the ground. Regardless, Tsuyu is still unashamedly sitting on his back.
"Okay, you can get of me now..." He was too tired to retort that he just flat out stated his surrender.
He didn't get a reply so he stared at his side only to see Tsuyu reading a book while indifferent about his well-being.
"Hey!?" His eyes bulged out in anger. "You can't be serious right now."
Only then did Tsuyu noticed his existence, stood up and apologizes. "Oh, I seemed to have forgotten Master is currently my personalized seat at the moment. This one apologized for being unaware."
He angrily walks out of his room and went to the kitchen. "She's too much! One day, I'll get back to her a hundred fold."
Leisurely, he walked towards the refrigerator and opened it. Unfortunately, there seems to be nothing to eat except for the lonely plate of jelly at the back of the fridge. He was sure he didn't bought a plate of jelly before.
"Eh, what ever. I'm hungry so who cares." He shrugged it off and took the plate of jelly.
With a spoon on his hand, he went to the table and eats the plate of jelly.
Midway while he is eating, Tsuyu entered the kitchen holding a broom. "Master, the basement seems to be dusty. May I ask permission to-"
After she saw him, her grasps on the broom loosened and it fell down the ground with a loud thud.
"Huh, what's with you? Suddenly loosing grip of the broom." He was confused of her reaction. He couldn't fathom why she suddenly did that.
She was trembling for an unknown reason but this action could only be noticed if you used a magnifying glass, that's how much she is controlling herself right now.
"Master, perhaps that's the plate of jelly that I recently bought a the store?" She asks calmly.
"Oh, you bought this?" He stared at his food in realization but he still couldn't notice the current dark atmosphere. "Actually this is pretty tasty. Good job buying this for me."
"Yes, that was actually really expensive originally" Her voice was trembling in who knows what manner. "And it was limited too. Only about a hundred of it was available at the store."
"That's amazing, I wonder how hard you worked to buy this." Katsuki doesn't know but he was already rubbing salt to her wound unconsciously.
"I can narrate it to you if you want." She answered. "First, I didn't sleep at all and waited till morning. Then, went to the store at as early as four in the morning. I can even tell you how low the temperature was. It was negative two-point-nine degrees celsius even with a sweater on. I was almost forced to hibernate if I were one second slower going home." Tsuyu laughs impassively.
A sweat bead drops on Katsuki's temple as he already realize what's going on when Tsuyu's narrated her story sarcastically but she still continued. He laughs back nervously while avoiding her gaze. He already lost his appetite to eat the jelly on the plate.
"Then while I was still suffering from extreme temperature, there was still a few hundred people also buying the same limited product. I squeezed my way in that I almost suffocated to death. Ah, what a disaster it was." She closed her eyes as memories of her suffering resurface with an indescribable smile.
"But good thing I successfully bought one. Ah, how happy I was back then." She wipes the tears on her eyes with a handkerchief. "Being able to buy that product that was meant for 'Master' brought me bliss."
Katsuki was already shamed to the point that he want to disappear right now. It wasn't entirely his fault but the moment she narrated her tragic story, it already feels like everything was his fault.
"Uh, yeah. Achieving such great deed, I think you deserved extra pay. You can forget about the deduction that I told you before." He was already trying his best to remedy the situation.
She waved her hands in rejection. "No need. The 'satisfaction' of seeing my Master delighted from consuming the 'jelly' that this one 'painstakingly' bought was already enough for me."
Now Katsuki already wants to quickly get an airplane ticket and get the hell out of this place just to forget all of this.
"Yes, if you say so. I can just say my utmost gratitude for giving me this."
"You. Are. Welcome. Master." She stated with force while smiling at him. "If I may pardon, I'll just go for the telephone a little bit.
She walked away from the kitchen while holding the broom again.
"I'm so dead." He was already expecting it. Nothing he can do about it. But he never expected he will be branded as a molester
"..." The officer was silent for another time. He stood up from his seat and placed one of his hands on Katsuki's shoulder. "Sir, I am amazed. Rarely people nowadays make good storyline like yours. I am so moved right now. I believe you can even create your own novel and maybe sell some copies of it. I, myself, enjoy a lot of novels. I read romance, fantasy, adventure, horror and mystery, you name it. Just looking at the creativeness of the human mind gives me shivers and goosebumps. You have good potential, young man."
While talking, he was leading him to a cell. He then pushed him inside the cell and locked it. "But sorry, story-writing only works on publishing companies. The police station doesn't accept authors or novels, only policemen or criminals."
Tsuyu was amused by the humor of the police officer that her face was already on the table in front of her, while her body was trembling and holding her stomach.
"I'm telling you! She's lying!" Katsuki yelled.
"Sir, just accept the truth. You molested the poor impassive fella over there." He points to the trembling Tsuyu without looking at her. "Just think of it as a short two-day trip to the beach except there's no sunlight or the sea. I can tell you it's going to be over in a flash. I even disregarded what I said last time about increasing the days you'll stay here since I was moved by your story so just stay here."
"Just listen to my damn it! She's really getting revenge on me by doing all of this! You have to believe!" His pleads annoyed the police officer as he cleans his ears.
"Okay, fine. How about we asks the victim over there to make sure." The officer gave up and stares at Tsuyu. "Did you do all of this because he ate your precious plate of jelly?"
Tsuyu was composed when the officer stared at her while she stared coldly st Katsuki. "No way, I'm allergic to jelly. Did he hit his head or something?"
At this moment, Katsuki's world broke apart as his body powerlessly fell to the ground. He felt so wronged. It was like the world hates him or something.
"Well, there you have it. Case is closed." He went to his chair and sat on it. "Miss, I know that guy seems to be a real nutcase but do you think you could pull back the arrest? I'm not trying to be a saint or anything but I'm having this bad premonition where he will endlessly shout at night. It's not good for the station. Plus I really do believe he won't do such a thing if he was acting like this."
"I think it's already fine. That guy already got what he deserved by being arrested so I don't think he will do it again." She stated. "He had been shamed enough."
The officer sighed and looked st the cell where Katsuki is lifeless on the ground. "Alright, you can come out now. Even though it only has been a minute, the victim already pulled back the arrest." He opened the cell and took Katsuki out of it.
"Ah... I'm a human failure... A molester..." Katsuki muttered. Seems like his pride already shattered on the matter of one minute. "My existence is unnecessary...
"Yep, he's broken alright." The officer said. "You can take him already take him home."
"What?" She said in shock. "Why?"
"I already know what's happening here." He stated while laughing. "It's just a lover's quarrel, isn't it? You did this to him because you're angry. I just played with it. I don't think that guy could create a realistic story like that out of nowhere unless he's a genius but judging by his temperament, I don't think so. Have a long chat if you're angry to him that much."
Tsuyu wants to refute his thoughts but the officer only winked at her. She complied and took Katsuki's lifeless body back home.
After only entering his home did Katsuki came back to his senses.
"You're seriously excessive!" He's really angry.
"You're welcome." She said and went to another room.
Katsuki stomped his feet on the ground and went to his room.
Katsuki completely forgets about this matter a day later.
Another day to be bored. You guys still breathing there? Or your breathing pattern is just fine?