A/N: Should warn you guys. Lame cliché ahead.
The plot is moving on.
It was a regular Sunday afternoon, and Sakura was minding (babysitting) Naruto and Gaara, who were currently in the park, the former of which was currently demonstrating to the latter the unproven fact that if you held a duck upside down in the pond for long enough, poop will come out through the other end.
Cruelty to animals aside, Sakura really couldn't care less. She'd grown tired of explaining to Naruto that the first time it happened was pure coincidence, that the poor duck was probably in dire need of emptying its bowels in the first place, and when it did, was simply a sort of panic reflex that generally happens when one finds oneself inverted with one's head in the water. Of course, he didn't listen.
Besides, mused Sakura as she watched Naruto being attacked by a flock of very angry ducks, it seemed as though the birds had the matter well in hand.
"Oi! Gerroff me, stupid birds! Gaara! Someone! Help!!"
There was a loud splash as he fell into the pond, arms flailing around.
Sakura heaved a sigh. The two had gotten into all sorts of trouble the past couple of days, and had developed quite a reputation. The good citizens of Konoha had given them – her included- a wide berth.
This was not fair at all.
She'd been lucky, considering the fact that Naruto was the most mischievous prankster of all time, and Gaara generally followed him around with a politely blank look on his face, Icha Icha Paradise- surely he hadn't read it. God forbid.- tucked under one arm. Although her presence had not been enough- in most cases- to prevent a disaster, it at least stopped matters from worsening.
Like, she thought dully, the time Naruto tried to get Gaara to wear that bikini.
She didn't want to talk about it.
Matters on the Ino-Sakura front weren't faring any better. Ino floated around calling herself Oni, and it was with a tinge of exasperation when Sakura pointed out to her that it was a really transparent disguise, seeing as her alias was only her real name spelled backwards. Naruto wasn't any better, forgetting to not call her by her real name half the time, and spending the other half starting out with her name and then abruptly switching it to Ino.
And some others, such as, say, Kiba, did not even bother. They just called her by her name right to her face. Occasions when that happened generally prompted a blush on Sakura's part, and the Kazekage to stare politely- but pointedly- in her direction.
In fact, by the way things are going, it was a miracle that Gaara had not just turned up on her doorstep and Sabaku Sousou-ed her into the next existence.
Sakura sighed deeply as Naruto clambered out of the pond dripping wet, sporting a considerable number of beak marks, while Gaara looked on, mildly amused.
They walked over to her, Naruto scowling as he messed with his hair.
"Fucking ducks. If it hadn't been for the pond, I would have beat the crap outta them! Believe it!"
Sakura snorted , giving him a great whack on the head. "You moron. If you'd listened to me in the first place…"
"Oww, that hurt. Anyway," he grinned, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "I'm hungry. How bout if you treat me to some ramen?"
Sakura groaned, and hit him again. "No, Naruto. Didn't I buy your ramen yesterday? And the day before that? And the day before that? I'm dead broke. Pay it yourself."
He resorted to his wheedling voice. "Aww c'mon, Saku- Ino. I haven't had a mission in quite a while… and I'm broke too! See?" He demonstrated his poverty by turning his purse inside out.
"No means no, dumbass. Find someone else to treat you."
Naruto grinned suddenly, and turned to the Kazekage. "Hey, Gaara," Naruto went. "How bout you treat us to some ramen? I mean, you must make a lot, you being the Kage and all. Right? Aww c'mon, pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasewithcherriesontop?"
"Kazekage-sama has better things to do than treat you to dinner, Naruto," Sakura reprimanded hastily. "I mean, he must have loads of meetings and stuff."
Oh, God. I do not want another dining experience with him. It might spark his memory, or something… Or he might just try to look up my dress. Well, more fool him, I'm wearing my shorts.
"I'm okay with it," said Gaara warily.
Omigod! Save me, somebody!! I'm too young to die!!
Naruto brightened. "Now that's something I wanna hear! What are we waiting for, let's go!! Sa- Ino, you coming?"
Sakura jumped. "Uhh, yeah, sure," she stuttered out, and followed them.
It was with an expression of horrified fascination as she watched Naruto gulp down his fifth bowl of ramen. She had finished hers a long time ago, and Gaara had not deigned to eat at all. She privately wondered if the Kage could afford the bill.
She shot a furtive look at him. He was looking at Naruto impassively, green eyes wide with curiosity.
You know, she thought, once you get past the shock of seeing him, he really is kinda hot… That wild mane of red hair, those mysterious eyes, that dangerous smirk, those gorgeous lips- okay, eww, what am I thinking? She mentally slapped herself. Eww! You're talking about Sabaku no Gaara, demonic killing machine, murderer, perv, asshole, dickhead, jerk and everything else in between…
But you gotta admit, those are some sexy abs…
His eyes flicked upwards, away from the disgusting spectacle that was Naruto and his ramen. She could just drown in those icy green depths…
Wait. He was looking… straight at her!
Sakura started, and fumbled with her dress, looking at anywhere else but him. Her heart began beating hard and fast, and she felt a blush creep slowly up her face.
Damn it. He can't have made the connection, could he? Between me and, umm, the other me?
She sneaked another look at him. His eyes were still on her. She looked back down at her knees, fidgeting nervously.
He's seriously making me uncomfortable… Wait. What if that was what he wanted to do all along?
Furious, she looked back up into his jade eyes.
Two can play at that game.
What followed after that was a prolonged period of silence, where the two of them conducted a little staring match of sorts above the happily oblivious Naruto, Sakura glaring furiously while trying not to blink, Gaara watching.
A minute later, she gave up. Eyes watering, she blinked several times before demanding, "Well, fuck, what are you looking at?"
Naruto jolted at the sound of his best friend swearing. "Huh? What're you saying, S-Ino?"
Gaara gave her a blank stare.
"Well?!" she shrilled. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
He spoke slowly. "You were looking at me."
"Is that an accusation? That sounded pretty much like an accusation to me! For your information, I was not looking at you! Trying to make me uncomfortable, huh? Trying to push me, so I'll divulge my secret!!"
Naruto blinked. "Whoa, Sakura. I mean, Ino," he added hastily. "Calm down. Gaara doesn't mean anything by staring at you."
"Doesn't he? DOESN'T HE?! Trying to look up the front of my dress again like last time, you perv!!"
Oops. She probably shouldn't have said that last bit.
Sakura's hand flew to her mouth. "Umm, I mean…"
If Gaara had eyebrows, he would have raised them. Instead, he opted for staring at her with a politely curious expression.
She flushed red. "Umm, what I meant was, umm…" She could practically feel the wheels in her brains turning, turning… She brightened. "What I meant was, my twin and I, you know, Sakura, haha, we happen to, well, occasionally, share, umm, experiences! Yeah! Which is, like, when something happens to her, I sorta can, you know, see it from her point-of-view, so yeah, we can sorta share visions…haha…"
She gave a pathetic little laugh that would have been listed as No. 1 in the history of pathetic little laughs.
Then an idea struck her.
It was pure, absolute, genius.
Shikamaru should just bow at her feet right now.
She grinned. "Well, eh, what I meant was, truly, in fact, umm, my twin and I, we sorta… share bodies! It's actually this sort of really really really rare syndrome called the, umm, Dual Personality Syndrome…" She laughed weakly. "AndI'llappreciateifyoukeepthisasecret,Idon'twantanyoneelsetoknowaboutthis…" she said the last part in a rush.
Naruto's mouth fell open.
Which was actually, if you think about it, not a sight for the faint-hearted, what with all those half-chewed noodles hanging in there screaming to be rescued.
Gaara coughed politely. "I'll take your word for it."
Sakura groaned inwardly. Someone shut her big fat mouth.
She wanted to get things straight.
She never intended it to happen like that.
She never intended it to happen, period.
Oh, the embarassment… She would never hear the end of it.
Well, okay. It was Monday morning, Picture Haruno Sakura, bright and pink and beautiful. Picture Naruto, Kiba, Lee, Shikamaru, Choji and a disinterested Neji huddled together, talking in whispers.
Picture the oh-so-hot-Sabaku no Gaara, standing a certain distance away from them, his Icha Icha Paradise book tucked under one arm.
Well, she had to go over to them. Because when the boys are huddled together like that, it's obvious that they were up to no good. Especially when Naruto was involved.
It set her lady sensors tingling, and she walked up to them.
Stupid, stupid choice.
Well, anyway. She tapped on Naruto's shoulder and went casually, "Hey. What up, guys?"
Everyone jumped, which definitely proved her theory on them being up to no good. Practically everyone –except Neji, who looked even more forbidding- developed an extremely guilty look upon their faces, and she distinctly saw Kiba tuck something into his jacket.
"Well?" she asked sweetly. "What're you guys up to?"
They glanced shiftily at each other. Naruto replied, "Uhh… nothing, Sa-Ino-chan! We were, umm, just discussing!"
"Right," she drawled, drawing out the syllable to show that she did not believe him one iota. "About what, may I ask?"
Shikamaru sighed. "What a pain."
Lee grinned, and gave her a thumbs-up. "Oh, the power of youth! We, the youthful ones, are planning to-"
Kiba elbowed him, and he went silent. "What we guys do, Sakura," he drawled. "is, I believe, none of your business."
Sakura snorted, but casted a nervous glance over her shoulder at where Gaara stood, looking indifferently at the Icha Icha Paradise he was currently holding, before turning back to shoot Kiba a nasty look.
"God," she went. "Whatev. I personally think that-"
However, no one got to know what exactly it was that she thought, for at that moment, there was a small, but infinitely disturbing, explosion.
Everyone stood, stunned.
Then everyone caught a whiff of the pungent odor that wafted past their noses, and began to run madly away at the highest possible speed, most of them shouting at Naruto.
"Ughh… ramen-flavoured fart!"
"Naruto, you dickhead!"
"What, you saying that I'm the only one here with an ass hole, huh?"
"No, but you're the only one whose flatulence smells like that!"
Sakura, who was rooted to the spot, raised a hand and placed it delicately over her nose.
And ran.
And who did she have to run right into, but Sabaku no Gaara.
Sakura gasped as she tripped, and placed her hands on his chest in a vain attempt to steady herself, which effectively caused him to fall, too-
Ohnoohnoohno…
In the few miliseconds that passed as they fell together, she saw his eyes widen with astonishment.
And then…
"Holy crap."
The boys had come back from wherever they'd escaped from, and were gathering around the two of them.
"Dude." Kiba's voice. "Do us a favour and mack where others don't see, okay? Jesus."
Sakura's eyes fluttered open, and she found herself staring into another pair of very wide, very startled eyes.
She flung herself upright. "Oh my god!" She gasped. "Y-you… you…" she pointed at Gaara, her eyes wide with horror. She stuttered for a while, trying to pronouce a crime to horrible to contemplate.
"Sasuke-kun was supposed to be my first kiss!! And you STOLE it! I HATE YOU!!" Sakura burst into tears, before striding away furiously.
Gaara stared at her, confusion in his eyes.
There was a moment of silence.
"Way to go, mate."
Lightning Blade: Yep, I tried it. Only once, though. It tasted sour. And I decided to revert back to the original.
elemental heiress: Laksa is a local dish. Umm... it's spicy. Yeah. With noodles in it.
Andrea Nefisto: Hmm. Makes sense. Would probably explain why I like fish eggs- they're the only part of the fish which tastes nice to me, and if I don't eat it, I'll starve.
A/N: Yeah, I know. Awful, horrible, and absolutely OLD cliché- Accidental Kiss. I hope you'll forgive me. The way things were going, this was the only way to get them together…
And Sakura was more right about the Dual Personality Syndrome than she knew.
And yeah, probable sequel. I know, I should seriously make up my mind once and for all, but I'm a smart ass author who never burns her bridges.
Reviews will be greatly appreciated. (I think I'm improving, ne?)