Rated M

New Beginning: The Same Refrain

Chapter 8

Severus looked at the vial he held in his hand seething with anger. Minerva's hand still rested on his arm and he felt its weight like an anchor holding him down. He looked up at Albus then turned to Minerva.

"This is foolishness." He started to refuse but stopped as he looked at her face.

"Severus," she said softly, "this is your only chance. You must do this."

"Fine," he spat at her and lifted the vial to pour down his throat. A flash of a girl in white taking her confirmation flashed to his mind. Wondering about the meaning of drinking the blood of her Christ, he stared at the now empty vial. Then looking up and locking eyes with his Headmaster he stood and began to pace.

"Ah, so the tea has arrived." Albus waved to a small coffee table across his office. "Minerva, please play mother."

As Albus and Minerva crossed to the tea service, he felt calmness come over him and lifted his hands to see they had stopped shaking. He quickly went to the window and squeezed his eyes shut to make sure he could still see her.

"Severus, are you quite alright?" Minerva had crossed over and was standing behind him concern evident on her face. "You have been standing here for several minutes. Did you not hear me call?"

"No, I did not." He glanced around then grabbed her hand. "Professor, Professor McGonagall, is she here? Is Molly Prewett here? I think it is Molly Weasley now."

"No, I did not think it wise for you to speak to her yet." Minerva frowned at him.

"I need to see her first." He looked at Albus, and then turned back to Minerva. "He said you spoke to her of me. I must see her. She must understand before I can do this."

"Albus?" Minerva looked at Albus not sure of what to do.

"You may floo her, if she agrees, ask her to step though." Albus scowled at Severus. "If you hurt her you will answer to me."

Severus stood with his legs apart and arms crossed as Minerva went down on her knees, put her head in the floo and called to Molly. In a few minutes, she stood and stepped back as Molly stepped into the office still holding a cleaning rag in her hand.

Severus moved at once. In only a few strides, he had her by the arms and pulled her to face him.

Raising his wand to her forehead, he hesitated seeing the sudden fear in her eyes. Albus was on his feet, wand pulled. Only Minerva watched quietly understanding what he intended to do.

"This will not hurt Miss Prewett," he whispered, pulling her soft body into his. "This will not hurt I can promise this."

He held her in one arm, while his other held the wand that he tapped to her forehead. He whispered a short incantation as Molly's mind flew into his. He softly guided her to a grassy field. It was just twilight, the sun not fully set, the sky not yet dark. She smelled salt water in the air, and felt the dampness of the ground. There was a fire in the middle of a circle of men. Severus pointed to where she should watch as her bothers apparated in.

Molly gasped, and stared to fall, when Severus held her and tenderly helped her down to the ground. He kept his arms around her as she watched the battle unfurl. She saw the flashes and heard the curses; she knew watching that is was hopeless. Her brothers had come with unseasoned fighters most had already fled, those that did not lie dead or huddled in fear on the ground.

He wanted to show her how deserted they had been, and how bravely they had fought. She watched and wept as a shield covered them and as she searched for the source, she felt Severus pulling her away. Slapping his hands away, he searched until she saw him. Standing in the middle of the open field Severus had cast the spell, and then turned to leave.

Severus pulled on her roughly and closed his mind to her, feeling her push him away even as they landed back on Albus's floor. Molly was on her feet in a rage. However, she turned her rage to Albus.

"You sent them out with children," she yelled at the Headmaster. "That was their support? Young wizards that did not know how to shield? That was the support you sent?"

"Miss Prewett." Severus stepped between the two. "I did not show you this to place blame, nor did I intend you to see the end. I let you see this only to give you some peace, some knowledge of them. I hope you do not speak of what you have seen."

To Albus's shock, and Minerva's delight the witch stood on her tiptoes, and grabbing hold of Severus's robes pulled him down for a kiss. First one cheek and the other, then she patted his face before letting him go.

"I have sorely misjudged you Mr. Snape." She looked up at him then turned to Albus and glared at him.

"We will talk Molly," Albus said looking Severus. "We will talk."

"Master Snape," Albus said after Molly had left, "you must be pleased with yourself."

"I found the revisiting of that memory disgusting," he said sitting down and putting his head in his hands.

"Gideon had once sat with me in a pub, did you know that?" Severus stood up to pace. "It was crowded, and the only empty chair was at my table, but he stayed and talked an hour. He was a good wizard, I thought he deserved better."

"What of the young Hogwarts girl, what did she deserve?" Albus started.

"Voldemort had brought her. I still do not know who managed to kidnap her from here. Your wards were ridiculously easy to break. I do hope you have corrected that minor problem." He said with a smirk.

"She was already bloody when I got there. Then Nott climbed on her." He closed his eyes to stop the memory but saw Lily shake her head at him in disgust. "I couldn't do it so Voldemort gave me a potion and I had to do it, I raped her. I can hear her screams sometimes. She sounds like the wind coming around the North Tower in January. Do you know that sound?" He looked up innocently until Albus nodded.

"She recognized me, and asked me to help." He felt his stomach sour, and bile raise in his throat. "I was raping her and she said please. Then someone yelled at me to hurry up, that he wanted a turn, and she looked up at me. Right in my eyes, she looked at me. She said please. I put my hands around her neck and kissed her as it broke. Her neck broke in my hands while I was still in her."

Minerva gasped and put her hand around her own neck, looking at Severus with tears in her eyes.

"It wasn't until later I realized I had killed her. I just thought to stop them from raping her again." Severus looked down and was surprised to see a tiny splash of water on his shoe. Reaching down he rubbed it away with his finger, then he looked up at Albus. "I need to go old man." Severus rose unsteadily to his feet. "I think I need to go."

"No, we have begun." Albus nodded to Minerva who stood and left the room. "Do you need more potions?"

Severus closed his eyes.

"Yes, please Headmaster she is still here." He said softer than a whisper. "She will not leave me alone. She looks at me and keeps laughing."

"Who will not leave you?" Albus leaned closer, seeing madness on his face.

"Narcissa, she holds her baby and the other one is there as well." Severus jumped up and looked wildly around. "I need her to go. I need to be left alone."

"Where is Hannah?" Severus demanded. "She did not come as often when Hannah was there."

Albus stood and reached into his pocket and took out a second bottle of calming potion, and placed it to Severus lips.

"Drink this then sit, and we will finish this." Albus said firmly.

"Can we finish later, I am having difficulties." Severus could not explain, he could not think. "I can't do this."

"No, it finishes now," Albus, said pointing again to the chair. "You will not be given a second chance."

"Are these the worse things you have done?" Albus asked his simple question.

"I gave away my soul old man. I did not sell it as you think." Severus looked into Albus eyes to see if he understood. "I gave it away willingly, completely, with no hesitation and have gained nothing in return."

"Do you know that Narcissa has lost four children?" He suddenly changed topics, so Albus thought. "She can not carry to term. Only one, only Draco lives. She managed to have one sickly child. Lucius's finds the fault in her, but I should tell him that the fault is his."

"How is this his fault?" Albus asked perplexed at the suddenness of the discussion going to Narcissa.

"He has no soul," Severus said as if the explanation was simple. "A child needs a soul, and gets one half from each parent. No wonder he doubts the child is his. I took half from a witch who had less than a whole, and then half from the drunk that beat her. Why would I hesitate to give away that soul?"

"A soul can be mended." Albus said quietly knowing that they had to finish what they had come here to do.

"Can I have children without a soul or must I be like Lucius?" Severus said with the look of questioning innocence again on his face. "Will my wife to turn to another?"

"Severus," the head master used his first name. "We need you to find your soul, and attempt to heal it. It will not be easy. I cannot trust you yet, for that, I am sorry. I cannot promise you much in exchange, what I can promise you, is that if you return here, to Hogwarts, and take and oath to me you will always have a home."

Severus sat there not believing he had heard correctly.

"You do not trust me, nor like me," he said blankly. "However you offer me redemption and a home?"

"Redemption is not something to be given, it must be earned," Albus said coldly. "I offer you the opportunity to earn it."

"I am going quite mad you know." Severus locked his eyes on Albus's eyes. "I can't live like this much longer. If it gets worse I fear for anyone around me."

"I believe that is what caused your Muggle friend to contact me in the first place." Albus said looking for a reaction.

"Hannah?" Severus jumped up running his hand through his hair. "Did I hurt her? Tell me I need to know. No, I think I would remember if I did. I have difficulty remembering."

"No Master Snape, you did not," Albus said. "However it is your concern for her and those that will be near to you in the castle that make me think you will cause no harm."

"Do not trust me too far old man," Severus said with a bitter laugh.

"I shall not." Albus pulled out his wand and sent his Patronus to collect Minerva. "We have an oath for you to take."

Severus nodded looking at the floor.

"Are you not curious as to the specifics?" Albus asked with a slight smirk.

"No, just get on with it." Severus sat.

Minerva walked in and raised her eyebrow. Seeing Albus nod she walked over and collected the wands from both wizards. Severus went down on one knee to take Albus's oath.

"You will oath to me a simple oath," Albus said and Minerva touched her wand to Albus's and then to Severus's. Albus fell to his knees next to Severus on the floor and grasped his right hand in both his own.

"Give me a complete Superus Fidelity." Albus demanded.

Severus's head snapped up at the oath. He looked into Albus eyes knowing that if he uttered this oath his will would be forever tied to his. He would be declaring Albus his superior in all things and declaring his loyalty to him forever. He looked up over Albus's shoulder to see Minerva looking down at him, her eyes filling with tears.

Looking at Albus, he then ground out the words that would ever seal his fate with this stern old man and trap him forever in a role he did not want.

Superus - superior

Fidelity -Loyalty

Superus Fidelity ..Loyalty to ones superior.