NEVER LET GO

Disclaimer: Do I look like owning Saiyuki?

A/N: Ok, I'm back. First I'd like to apologize for the lateness; so many things to be done plus I'm kinda unwell myself. Ok, enough with my babbling, now I bring you the chapter five. Hope you'll enjoy!

CHAPTER FIVE

THE SUN SETS

"Damn… fucking mountain!" Sanzo cursed under his breath as he made his way towards his sworn enemy's headquarters to rescue his 'precious' charge. Although he appeared as if he didn't care, he actually had undeniable concern deep down in his heart.

He had to suppress shudders as he remembered what Homura had done the last time he laid his hands on Goku. He remembered the half heretic's smirking face as he lifted his palm from Goku's tearful eyes; exposing the sight of those blank and expressionless eyes. Sanzo couldn't help but shudder at the memory of the brainwashed Goku, the one under Homura's spell, who stared at him with his cold eyes, and even raised his own hands to kill him… almost.

Sanzo shut his eyes regretfully at the vision of Goku's pained expression when he struggled to snap out from Homura's spell. The vision of Goku standing in front of him, his arms stretched out, with Homura's blade pierced through his body. The sight of Goku's tears, as the boy dropped his hand and breathed his last.

Sanzo opened his eyes again. He wouldn't let that happen again. He couldn't bear losing Goku a second time. He had vowed to protect the boy, at all costs.

"Wait for me, Goku. I'm coming…"

The monk continued his journey, determination filled his mind. He had no idea that was awaited him was nothing but pain.

Homura suppressed small chuckles, as he watched Goku stuff himself with everything his hands could reach. The War God couldn't help but wonder how the small boy could stay so slim with such a big appetite.

And yet, still so adorable the Toushin added.

Zenon and Shien sweatdropped at the display. They knew that Son Goku had a voracious appetite, but surely not THAT much. He could easily eat the whole Konran Tower up!

"Ano… Goku-san…" Shien tried to speak to the busily-eating boy, "Is it alright for you to eat that much? If you won't stop I'm afraid you might get a nasty stomachache soon…" the calm kami spoke rather nervously.

The young heretic finally averted his eyes from the food as he looked up to the kami, his golden gaze filled with uncovered confusion.

"I don't understand… you guys are acting so weird today, even the ero-kami," the boy spoke nonchalantly despite the irritated looks Zenon gave him, "I don't know… why you guys are treating me so special today? Speaking to me so formally… didn't get mad at me for eating too much… worrying about me… what's wrong with you guys? Did I do something wrong?" unclouded guilt and worry filled the luminous golden eyes.

Zenon and Shien instantly looked at Homura, unable to do or say anything. The said Toushin felt slight sorry for the boy. Having his memories altered, Goku now considered him and his comrades as his companions; the ones he had spent his days with, lived his life with.

Homura smiled softly as he approached Goku. Then he patted the boy's head.

"It's nothing. You did nothing wrong, don't worry about it," the half kami smiled as he ruffled the boy's smooth brown hair. The younger heretic looked up to him; certain concern filled his luminous golden eyes.

"But… you guys are acting strange…"

"That's because you're so special," Homura spoke before Goku could even finish his sentence. He stared longingly at the small brunette's surprised eyes before continuing, "Yes, you've been very special for me—I mean, for us. It's necessary to treat a special person special, isn't it?" the Toushin spoke softly, caressing Goku's delicate cheek as he brought his face closer to the boy's.

Goku couldn't help but blushing, "Homu…"

"HOMURA-SAMA!!"

The peaceful atmosphere within the room was suddenly interrupted by a panicked scream. Irritated for being interrupted while he was clearly having a good time, Homura turned his head to see the source of the disturbance.

"What is it? Can't you see that I'm busy right now??" he couldn't hide clear annoyance in his voice.

The intruder, who appeared to be one of the guards, spoke trembling before the glaring Toushin, "Fo… Forgive me Homura-sama, but… this is an emergency… a monk has just barged in and… and he brutally killed almost all of the guards… nobody can stop him… what should we do, Homura-sama…?" the terrified soldier looked hopefully to his lord.

Homura raised his eyebrows.

What a piece of unworthy junk, he thought to himself as he eyed the soldier disdainfully.

"Very well," he said as he stood and proceeded to leave the room.

"Homura? Where are you going?" Goku asked, clueless.

The Toushin turned, his eyes softened as he met eyes with the innocent boy, "I'm just going to clean this mess. You stay here with Zenon and Shien, okay?"

Goku's eyes widened at once, "No way! I'm not gonna let you go facing danger all by yourself!! I'm going with you!!" the boy jumped to his feet and grabbed Homura's robes, unwilling to let go.

Homura stared down at Goku, stunned. The feeling of being worried about was new for him. The Toushin smiled as he lowered himself to Goku's level and gently touched his cheek.

"No need to worry about me, I'll be alright. Stay here with Zenon and Shien, okay? I will come back, I promise."

"Promise?" the boy looked up at him and Homura could feel his heart melt from that innocent gaze.

"I promise. Trust me, will you?" The Toushin spoke softly as he caressed the small boy's cheek. Slowly being reassured, the boy nodded.

Homura smiled, "Good boy."

Then, he planted a small kiss on Goku's forehead. Leaving the slightly blushing boy, the mighty Toushin Taishi made his way out from the room, towards his sworn rival.

So… you are finally coming? Konzen…

Sanzo was furious. Surrounding him were a seemingly endless army of youkai-turned-kami troops, Homura's mindless puppets. Sanzo's eyebrows twitched. If not for Goku's sake, he would have given up the moment he saw that ridiculous amount of enemies.

"This is going to take forever," the monk murmured as he shot every single youkai that stood between him and Goku.

Sanzo couldn't bring himself to think about what might be happening to Goku while he was wasting his time here. He could almost see the image of Goku—chained, violated, scared…desperate.

Sanzo gritted his teeth. He would never ever forgive Homura if the fucking Toushin dared enough to hurt his charge, much less to touch him. He continued shooting mercilessly towards the endless enemies, eliminating those who stood between him and his charge.

"COME OUT YOU ASSHOLE!! STOP HIDING BEHIND YOUR PATHETIC GUARDS! COME HERE AND FACE ME!!" the monk finally bellowed out his frustration.

"I'm right here, Konzen," a cold voice echoed in the room.

The steaming monk turned his head to see his sworn enemy standing by a gigantic metal door. With their leader's appearance, the troops immediately retreated, clearing the way for a staring contest between amethyst and golden-sapphire.

The half heretic walked slowly towards the monk; his mismatched golden and sapphire eyes fixed on Sanzo's amethyst ones.

The monk narrowed his eyes as he spoke harshly, "Took you long enough to show up, you pathetic excuse of a coward," he sneered.

The half-god just stared back, "Sorry for the long wait. I was having my business with Son Goku."

Homura smirk grew when he saw Sanzo tense at the mention of his charge.

No, the Toushin repeated in his mind, ex-charge…

"What the fuck have you done with Goku, you bastard??" Sanzo's cold hiss snapped Homura from his thoughts.

The Toushin just smirked as he observed Sanzo's tensed form.

"Ah… why do you so care of him all of a sudden, Konzen? Why are you so… afraid? Are you afraid of me touching Son Goku?" Homura smirk grew even wider; he was so enjoying the look on Sanzo's face.

As soon as he found his voice, the monk snapped, "Touch him, you'll die and rot in hell."

Homura let out amused laugh as he unsheathed his sword, "Very well. Let's see who lives longer, Konzen…"

Sanzo pointed his gun at the Toushin, eyes narrowed and ready to fire his shots when…

"HOMURAA!!!"

Both men jerked and two heads turned at the source of the voice. Both amethyst and golden-sapphire locked eyes with a pair of the rarest golden orbs, Sanzo felt a sense of relief at the sight of his charge.

"Bakasaru! Where've you…"

"Goku! I told you to stay inside!" Homura's unexpectedly said, certain worry filled his voice.

Sanzo blinked at Homura's words. Since when did the fucking kami get so close with his saru?

Never mind, he thought, no matter what happens the saru will still choose me for sure…

"But I'm so worried about you! Homura, you're not hurt anywhere, right?" Goku spoke worriedly as he approached the Toushin.

"I'm so worried, I can't stand it! Even Shien and the ero-kami couldn't stop me from thinking about you!"

Sanzo froze. Did his eyes and ears just fool him or what? Did he just see Goku running towards Homura instead of him…? Moreover, completely ignoring him? Did he just hear Goku say that… that he was worried about… Homura?

What the fuck is this??!!

"Oi, bakasaru!! What the fuck has gotten into that stupid head of yours?? Can't you see that I'm standing here??" The monk can barely suppress his anger and yes, jealousy.

Goku finally averted his eyes from Homura and stared at Sanzo. Only then Sanzo realized that the boy's expression was filled with hatred and… disgust.

"Who do you think you are, Genjo Sanzo, calling me with such a name like that?! The only one who's allowed to call me that way is Homura! If you dare enough talk to me like that again, I'll make sure to completely tear your filthy mouth off!!" the teen spat harshly, anger and hate filling his usually cheerful voice.

Sanzo could feel as if the world stopped spinning. He stared unbelievingly at Goku's eyes, which stared back hatefully at him. Yes, he could definitely see hatred and disgust in those once innocent golden orbs. Gone was the light and adoration those orbs once possessed. Sanzo never imagined that Goku could actually stare at him with that expression.

What the fuck is happening??!

Goku snorted, before turning his eyes back to Homura and spoke tenderly, "Are you okay, Homura? Did he hurt you anywhere?"

The Toushin shook his head as he patted the boy's head and ruffled the smooth brown hair gently, "No, I'm perfectly fine. Thanks for worrying about me," his mismatched eyes softened at the sight of Goku's widened smile.

Ok, this is too much...

"Yokatta… I thought something had happened… I was so worried…" Goku scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

This isn't real…

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry," Homura bowed his head as he touched Goku's cheek gently.

Tell me this is only a dream…

"Naah… it's ok. I'm happy seeing you alright!"

Tell me this is only a nightmare…

"Thanks Goku… that's very nice of you… I can't believe that you were so worried about me…"

This is just one bloody fucking nightmare…

"Of course I am! I like you very much, Homura!!"

The words struck Sanzo like lightning. He couldn't think of anything. Goku's words rang inside his mind over and over again.

I like you very much, Homura!

I like you!

I like you!

I like you!

………

I HATE YOU SANZO!!

With hurt and rage swirling inside him, Sanzo pointed his gun towards Homura. He needed to vent his anger out on somebody. Scratch that, he DESPERATELY needed.

"What the fuck have you done to Goku, you sick bastard?!" he roared, his amethyst eyes blazed with rage as he stared hatefully at the half-heretic.

The said Toushin just smirked in satisfaction, "Nothing. It was Son Goku who chose to join me himself," his smirk grew in clear winning, "I've won him over you, Konzen."

Sanzo growled out in anger as he tightened his grip on his gun, "Quit joking! I know you brainwashed him again!! Remove whatever stupid spells you put on him, you bastard!!"

But then, to Sanzo's surprise, Goku dashed to him with superb speed. The boy stopped right in front of him and spoke threateningly, "Don't you DARE," his golden eyes blazed with hatred, "talk to Homura like THAT!!"

Sanzo's eyes widened as he felt a fist connect with his midsection…Goku's fist.

He crumpled to the floor, wincing in pain as he looked up to see Goku's eyes staring back at him, filled with hatred and disgust. But, those are really his eyes. It wasn't the same eyes when he was under Homura's spell. Those are the eyes of normal Goku. Only, those eyes were not staring at him with clear hatred.

"Go… ku…" Sanzo tried to call the boy, coughing as the pain in his stomach went back. He stared back at the boy's eyes, trying to make the boy to remember him, even if just the smallest piece. His heart slowly breaking as he looked helplessly at the sight of Goku as he turned his head to face Homura, smiling innocently, the smile that was supposed to be for him.

"Go… kuu…" Sanzo coughed again, as Goku started to walk away from him, directly towards Homura's waiting arms.

Don't go…

Homura smiled as he patted Goku's head gently. The boy looked up grinning at the older man, his innocent golden eyes filled with adoration.

The gaze that was supposed to be for Sanzo alone.

"Let's go home, Goku," Homura smiled tenderly as he held out his hand.

Don't leave…

The young heretic smiled back as he took the offering hands. Mismatched eyes softened. In contrary, amethyst ones darkened.

Don't leave me…

"Hai, let's go, Homura!" Goku spoke cheerfully.

Sanzo could feel his heart shatter as Goku took Homura's arms and disappeared with him, leaving the almost unconscious Sanzo alone.

I can't bear losing you again…

Before losing consciousness completely, Sanzo could swear that he saw something silvery glittering from Goku's forehead. But before he could think about it any further, his consciousness was forcefully ripped away from him. His last thought before blacked out completely was Goku's face filled with hatred staring at him.

Disgusting...

I hate you, Sanzo...

A/N: There you go. Hope this will fill your angst meter. For the fans of Sanzo-sama, please don't beat me up for torturing him a lot in this chapter (covers head)

And please tell me what do you think. Any comments will be appreciated. Looking forward to see you in the next chapter!

Ja ne!

-r&k