Rated M

New Beginning: The Same Refrain

Chapter 17

Severus returned to Hannah's bed, sitting in the chair he just watched her sleep. He did not think of Malfoy, or the others that had attacked her, or the murder he had seen in her brother's mind, he just watched.

Well into the night Poppy came up behind him and crooking her finger at him indicated that she wanted to talk to him away from the patient.

"Moody came back from talking to the Headmaster and took the young man home," she began. "Now he is in the hallway demanding that he talk to you."

Severus rubbed his hands over his face and found only one days stubble, he was never sure any longer when he fell into his dreams how long he had been gone and had learned to check his face. He left Hannah's bedside and strode out to the hall.

Moody was waiting in the hall with his wand at his side. Anger rolled off him as he rounded on Severus slamming his walking stick to the ground and sending off a wave of magic large enough to push Severus to the wall. He was still regaining his footing as his wand flew into Moody's hand.

Alastair Moody was a bear of a wizard, large and hard. As he lowered his head and charged Severus Muggle style, he roared and shouted his intent. Severus waited as Moody came at him, and at the last moment stepped aside and let him crash into the wall. He stepped over the crumpled wizard who was sputtering curses and trying to untangle his feet from his robes, and picked up his wand. Glaring at the Auror on the floor Severus pushed the wand into the flesh at Moody's throat.

"To what do I owe your greeting," Severus hissed, drawing his head back and looking harshly at the wizard at the end of his wand. He felt the adrenalin rush as he had not felt it for a year. His blood rushed to his ears and his hand lovingly loosened its grip to read adjust its self to his natural hexing grasp.

Moody looked up and saw a different wizard than he had looked at only a moment ago. Severus looked older, harder, and unflinching. This was no twenty two year old playing grown up games. This was a seasoned Death Eater, one prepared to die in a fight without thinking about it. The only thing he moved was a hand, hidden under his robes, as he searched for his wand.

"ENOUGH!" A flash of light preceded Albus' voice, slamming Severus to the floor, and removing the wand from his hand again. He looked angrily at both of the wizards in front of him.

"Professor," he stormed at Severus, "you will return to the dungeons at once."

Severus was standing up as Albus spoke and turned to glare at him. Holding out his hand for his wand his eyes challenged the Headmaster to refuse his request. Severus heard Moody rising behind him and stepped to the side to shield his back from the Auror, knowing that not even Albus could stop the rage he felt in the old scared Auror.

"Alistair," Albus turned to the large wizard. "I told you that this was exactly what I feared. You may leave at once. Must I remind you that this is a school?"

Moody walked to Albus, his heavy boots pounding on the stones, grabbed his wand and turned back to Severus.

"I always suspected that you were with that scum," Moody said darkly. "Just because you have fooled the old man into believing your change of heart does not mean I believe you."

Severus's heart was pounding as he stared at Albus. He had thought the old wizard would hold his confessions close, and in sharing them with Moody, he was once again betrayed.

As Moody's foot falls echoed down the hall Severus had not moved, nor taken his eyes off Albus.

"He needed to know," Albus stated flatly. "He wanted to go after Lucius. To stop him I gave him the reason he was not to do so."

"Why would you have stopped him?" Severus hissed. "He saw Lucius in the act of a Death Eater attack. He should have gone after him."

Albus peered over his glasses. "Then, my Professor, You would lose your contact on the other side."

"What is her life worth old man?" Severus asked flatly.

"A means to gather information," Albus said honestly. "Without her, we could lose you."

"Is that all she is? A way to control me?"

"No, the Oath will control you." Albus raised his eyebrow, "the woman will make it easier for you."

"If I fall, will you still protect her?" Severus asked, feeling the truth of his second oath grow cold and slip down his back.

"No, I believe the Oath will no longer be binding." Albus looked at Severus evenly, seeing the colour drain from his already pallid face. "I think you should play your part well."

Severus walked up to Albus and snatched his wand out of his hand. He had not wanted to resort to Muggle fighting since living at Spinner's End, but he wanted to now. Instead of lashing out, he spun on his heel, and ignoring Albus's objections walked back into the infirmary and took his position at Hannah's bed.

He sat stonily looking at her, wondering what he had done. He had meant to protect her, to have her watched over in the event of his death either here or with the Death Eaters. He knew his time was limited. Death did not scare him, sometimes in his dreams he saw himself walking toward it, and felt a sense of calmness and peace. What scared him was another life on his hands, blood that he could have stopped, another soul to account for.

Hannah's eyes fluttered open as the sun was just rising. She was disorientated, and frowned at the ceiling before turning her head to see who was sitting next to her.

"Severus?" she whispered.

He sat forward on the edge of the chair and took up her hand. "You were injured. You are in a hospital room at Hogwarts, you are safe here."

"Jack, Jack was there too." She was struggling to sit up.

"He is fine." Severus nodded to her. "He is already home."

"I thought it was you, I ran right up to them and let them do this," she winced as she finally reached a sitting position.

Severus tucked her pillows behind her, and raising his wand called four more to cushion her back fully.

"It was not your fault," Severus said sternly. "If anyone is at fault it is me, I am the one that brought you into this."

"How did you do that?" She asked adjusting the blankets around her thighs as the gown rode up every time she moved.

"Hannah, just talking to you I have put you in danger. Anyone I care for will be in danger."

He pulled the chair closer and sat down holding her hand again.

"You remember what I told you of my life?" he questioned and was glad to see her nod. "I am not a nice person Hannah. The Death Eaters, the masks you saw, will want me dead if they find out I am working of the Headmaster."

"I am sure the Headmaster will help you," she said naively.

"No, Hannah." He shook his head letting his lank hair fall forward. "He can not. His own people do not want me here. They do not trust me, nor I them. Without the Headmasters protection they would curse me as readily as the Death Eaters would if they knew of my allegiance here."

"Can't you just tell them you no longer care?" She looked at him with her liquid eyes.

"No," he said, standing up suddenly.

"That night you came, and saw Jack." She looked away sadly. "I knew then that you didn't care."

"Why would you think that?"

"You didn't even want to talk, if you wanted to do more than just use me, you would have stayed and at least talked to me."

"Don't think that. I told you that is not all I wanted."

"You said you would send me an owl, that you would show me your world, and that you would come back for the holidays," her voice held her accusations as she laid her head back on the pillows stacked up behind her and closed her eyes.

"I can't do this Severus," she winced as her hand went to her side. "Not here, not now. This is all too much."

Severus gently pulled her forward against him as he removed the pillows and lowered her down again. Frowning when he heard her gasp in pain and saw blood on the front of her gown. He stood up quickly and hurried to find Poppy.

"My goodness." the Medi-Witch said, hurrying to the bed. "You have no business sitting up young lady."

"I need to go home," Hannah, said weakly. "I have work tomorrow."

"Work?" Poppy gave a short snort of laughter. "I should say not."

"I have to, you don't understand." She again tried to push up. "I will lose my job if I am not there."

"Then you will find another," Poppy chided her. "You will not leave this bed until I say you are ready."

"I feel fine, really I do." She pushed Poppy's hand away when the Medi-Witch tried to pull back the blankets.

"I will complete this examination." Poppy muttered and pulled out her wand letting it hover over Hannah's abdomen. "It appears you are in the habit of avoiding medical attention. If you had seen a healer months ago you would not be in this shape now."

"Leave me alone," Hannah, said trying to twist away as tears filled her eyes.

"Poppy?" Severus said the witches name as a question.

"She obviously miscarried and never had proper attention." Poppy shook her head. "Now she is bleeding from an old haemorrhage she never had properly healed, a weak spot I would guess."

Severus stepped back from the bed and looked at Poppy's back as she waved her wand over the witch in the bed. He then looked past her to Hannah's face. She was looking back at him fearfully and then turned her head away.

"I will leave you to your work." He nodded his leave taking to Poppy, then giving Hannah a cold look, left for the dungeons.

Two days later Poppy declared she was well enough to leave, and asked Albus how she was to return to her world.

"I am sure our Potions Master will be glad to take her." He raised his eyebrow confused that she would ask this.

"I don't think so." Poppy stood in the Headmasters office with her hand on her hips. "He has not even bothered to look in on her since her first night."

"Has he asked after her?" Albus stroked his long beard thoughtfully.

"He has not. Nor she or him."

"Was the child his?" Albus asked sadly.

"I don't know Albus," Poppy sighed and sat down across from the Headmaster. "She refuses to talk of it."

"Poppy, take some sober up potion down to our esteemed Professor. I am sure he is well beyond us by now. Once he is showered, tell him I have need to see him."

"Albus." Poppy shook her head and pointed her finger at him. "You can not force this issue. They need to do this on their own."

"How would you suggest we do that?" Albus raised his eyebrow at her.

"I will get him sobered up, and then it is up to him." Poppy stood and walked to the door.

"I can keep her here until they talk," Albus told her. "Tell her that, we can see what happens."

Poppy floo-ed into Severus's chambers and found him as Albus had thought. He was sitting in his chair, legs splayed out in front of him, and three days of beard on his face. Poppy could not rouse him to do more than grunt when she shook him.

She finally pushed his head back on the chair and holding his chin firmly, poured the first vial down in throat. He sputtered and began coughing, most of the potion landing on his chest and in Poppy's face. Taking out the second vial and pouring it down, Poppy saw his eyes flicker open briefly.

"You may as well give up Professor," Poppy fell back on his formal title. "Albus is on to you."

"Get out of here," Severus sat forward trying to push her out of his way.

"I will not move until you finish this." She held up a third vial.

Grabbing it from her, Severus uncapped the vial and drank it down. He grimaced and looked around for something to wash the taste from his mouth. His hand reached for the bottle laying on its side as Poppy's curse hit it and reduced the bottle to a lump of molten glass.

"If you are not showered and presentable in thirty minutes the Headmaster will be down here. I am sure you do not want him in here." She looked around at the mess and sniffed the smell of whiskey and bodily sweat.

Severus's head pounding, but at least he was sober. He squinted up at her, and saw she was holding a fourth vial. Severus tried to smirk as he held his hand out for the headache potion but found it to painful.

"Poppy?" he said in a whisper after drinking down the potion and placing his head in his hands. "When did she lose it?"

"Ah, Severus," Poppy said sadly. "I don't know, I really could not tell. I should have kept my silence, but I thought you knew."

He nodded and stood up, holding on to the chair until he got his balance, then he turned to the bathroom.

"Tell her I will see her later," he sighed. "Tell her we need to talk."

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