NEVER LET GO

Disclaimer: Do I look like owning Saiyuki?

A/N: Hi! I updated ultra-fast! Thanks to my amazing beta, Peeps17! Now, this chapter might be kinda boring... after all, I plotted it in the middle of accounting lesson ;p

Nevertheless, I hope you'll enjoy!

Chapter Seven

A Price to Pay

Why am I… feeling so troubled?

Mismatched eyes opened wide and stared into the darkness. The raven haired man sighed as he turned around trying to drift back to sleep. It was proving futile as strands of dreams kept slipping into his mind. Homura sighed as he had no choice but to continue staring at the darkness.

What does this mean? I should be happy… finally I've got what I want… but…

Homura put his hand on his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat beneath his skin.

What's with this feeling…?

Finally giving up on sleeping, Homura sat up and proceeded his way out from the darkness of his room.

Maybe I will be able to calm down if I see his sleeping face…

Slightly smiling to himself, the Toushin made his way towards Son Goku's room.

Opening the boy's door, Homura's eyes softened as he stared at the silhouette in the bed. Smiling softly, he walked soundlessly towards the bed, and then sat quietly next to it, looking at the sleeping figure. He could see Goku's chest rise and fall in rhythm with his breath. The boy's face looked somehow more innocent in his sleep.

So adorable…

Homura whispered to himself as he moved his hand to Goku's face to brush a few strands of brown hair from the boy's forehead. He froze as he felt the boy was burning up. Frowning, he eyed the sleeping boy more closely only to notice the boy's cheeks were slightly flushed and sweaty. By that time, he realized that Goku's breathing was starting to become heavy and labored. The boy had a fever.

Homura could feel panic rise inside him as he touched Goku's flushed cheek gently, feeling increasing concern with the boy's high temperature.

Son Goku…?

"Son Goku is in danger."

Kougaiji's fiery eyes stared meaningfully at Sanzo's amethyst ones. The monk in question just stared back; his pale face gave no expression at the youkai prince's exclamation.

Seeing no reaction from Sanzo, Kougaiji frowned, "What kind of reaction is that? I know you're an unfeeling bastard, but I assumed you would at least show some concern, especially when it comes to your faithful charge…"

"Goku is no longer my charge," Sanzo snapped, rage and hurt still swirling in his eyes, "He belongs to someone else now. I have no reason to give a damn about him."

Suddenly, Kougaiji's fist connected with Sanzo's jaw. Sanzo backed away a few steps in surprise before standing again, spitting blood out of his mouth. Angrily, he stared at the challenging eyes of Kougaiji.

"You better have a good explanation for that," the monk hissed as he wiped his bruised lips.

Kougaiji just glared at him, "Oh yeah, and a good one. I know that you're an unfeeling bastard, but I never knew that the mighty Genjo Sanzo," the youkai prince drew his face closer to the monk as he emphasized his words, "is actually nothing more than a pathetic coward."

Boiling with anger, Sanzo grabbed the youkai prince by the collar and hissed, "Say that again, you asshole!!"

Kougaiji just smirked, "With pleasure. You are a PATHETIC COWARD." He pressed his face towards the monk, hissing back, "You're pathetic because you just easily let go of your most precious thing, and you're pathetic enough to deny it! And you're a coward because you refused to admit your defeat and even tried to run away from your responsibility, from your life!" Fiery eyes blazed with rage at the monk's stunned eyes, "You are a pathetic coward, you're not even worthy to be Son Goku's guardian!!" the youkai prince roared.

Sanzo looked as if he has been slapped across the face. Kougaiji's words struck him right into his heart, shattering his pride. But what was more piercing was that he knew that the youkai prince spoke the truth.

I'm so useless… I can't even protect the ones I cared the most about…

Sanzo saw flashes of his sad memories appear before his eyes. The remembrance of Goku walking away from him filled his mind. Then, the image changed into the vision of Goku dying in his arms, covered with blood, whispering,

"Sanzo… I'm sorry…"

Sanzo could almost feel as if his hands held onto the cold body once again. Goku's lifeless body. The monk could barely suppress shudder. The nightmare was coming back.

"I… won't let it…" Sanzo murmured as he slowly released his grip on Kougaiji.

The youkai prince narrowed his eyes, "Pardon?"

The monk closed his eyes, his expression, solemn

"I will never let that happen again. I can't bear the nightmare twice. I know that… that I can't bear losing him a second time…"

Sanzo opened his eyes and stared at Kougaiji.

"You have my thanks, for knocking some sense into me. However, I still have to pay you back for a punch in the face," the monk said.

The youkai prince let a rare smile play on his lips before responding.

"I'm afraid you have to owe me one more moment before you can pay me back. I believe you have noticed the change of Son Goku's diadem?" Kougaiji spoke, his voice serious.

Sanzo's eyebrows knitted as he tried to remember the details. He recalled seeing something silver glittering from Goku's forehead before the boy disappeared with Homura.

"Yeah, I think I saw his diadem glittering silver instead of gold," the monk's eyes widened as sudden realization struck him, "you don't mean…?

Kougaiji nodded, "Yes. The silver limiter is the problem. It messed up with Goku's memories and assured him that Homura and his comrades are his companions, whereas you and your companions are his sworn enemies. He believed it was you who spread the calamity all over Tougenkyou and caused all the youkai to go crazy. And thus, it's Homura's job as the War God to stop you all. And Goku will be more than willing to help Homura because of this." The youkai prince explained.

The Sanzo-ikkou's eyes widened at this piece of information. They were used of youkai attacks, assassins, and even stalkers. But this kind of threat was new for them. They were now facing their very own companion. Moreover, they knew exactly Goku's abilities. They knew that the golden-eyed boy could easily bring them down to their knees in a single blow.

Gojyo's eyebrows twitched.

"Soo… your telling us that the bakasaru's somehow got brainwashed again? Well, mind explaining to us how could that was done? Despite his looks, the bakasaru's not stupid enough to get himself being brainwashed like that y'know," the red head spoke.

Dokugakuji stared at his half-brother's scarlet eyes and spoke, "We know that Goku wouldn't let himself be controlled without a fight. We, as well as you, are well aware and respect his strength. However, when it comes to a certain crazy scientist," Dokugakuji bit his lower lip, "I'm afraid there's nothing we can do." The dark haired youkai ended his statement.

Hakkai frowned, "Scientist? What does a scientist have to do with Goku?"

Kougaiji turned to face the human-turned-youkai, "Everything. That scientist is the source of this entire problem. He's the very one who created the silver limiter for Son Goku. Though he's a human, he's very dangerous. He's working with us to revive Gyuumaou at my headquarters. Which is an advantage since," the youkai prince smirked as he pulled out a scroll of paper, "it gives us access to take this." He handed the paper to the astonished Hakkai.

The green-eyed youkai took the paper and examined it, emerald eyes widened at once.

"This… this is…"

Kougaiji nodded, "Yes, the design on the silver limiter," he exclaimed, instantly drawing attention from the remaining members of the ikkou as he added, "Luckily, the scientist 'accidentally' left it behind when he went out, so we took the chance to take it. We thought it might be useful for you."

Sanzo narrowed his eyes, "There must be something to this, right? There's no way you guys will ever help us without payment," the monk spoke coldly.

This time the youkai prince's eyes narrowed, "You really are a cold bastard. Well it's up to you to believe it or not. We're just offering help, it's your decision to accept it or not. One things for sure," Kougaiji spoke solemnly, "I view Son Goku as a worthy rival. For my pride and his, I won't let his strength to be used for something like that." He spoke with a low voice.

The monk just stared at the youkai prince's fiery eyes for a brief moment. He couldn't help but notice the ring of truth in Kougaiji's eyes and words. Deciding, Sanzo opened his mouth to speak when Hakkai's voice suddenly stole his attention.

"Sanzo… this is terrible…" the green eyed spoke, his voice trembling, as he observed the paper Kougaiji gave him.

Turning to face the healer, Sanzo asked curiously, "What is it, Hakkai?"

It took a whole minute for the man-turned-youkai to answer the question. Without averting his eyes from the paper, he spoke with a low tone, "This design tells me everything… it's so terrible… Sanzo, Kougaiji was right; Goku is in danger."

Sanzo's eyebrows knitted as he spoke, trying his best to control his concerns, "I know that. Can't you just tell me what's so fucking dangerous instead of repeating what Kougaiji has already said?" he hissed in a cold tone.

Hakkai's eyes finally left the paper as he stared squarely at Sanzo's eyes. Only then, Sanzo realized that Hakkai's eyes were filled with unclouded fear.

Sighing, the healer started to explain, "The silver limiter is designed not only to seal Goku's true form as the original golden one does, but also to alter his memories as we all know. It makes him think that he's on Homura's side. If we want to get Goku back, the only way to do it is by removing the limiter. In other words, releasing the Seiten Taisei. This is a pretty smart move from the scientist, I must admit." Hakkai stopped, allowing Sanzo and Gojyo to absorb the information before continuing, "Removing the limiter itself is problematic enough, but what I found more terrible is, that we're racing against time." The green eyed youkai said heavily.

Both amethyst and crimson eyes widened as they waited for the green eyed youkai to continue his explanation. When nothing came, the red head of the group decided to push on, "Well, can you just stop with the dramatic pausing, 'Kai? Just tell us whatever that stupid paper tells you!" the red head spoke.

Hakkai just stared squarely at Sanzo and Gojyo's eyes before speaking sharply, "Alright. The paper tells us that if we do not get rid of that silver limiter in a few days' time, we can never get Goku back to normal. Is that clear enough for you, Gojyo-san?" the healer put one of his deadly smiles on, causing the red-head to sweatdrop.

"Er… actually I'm getting more lost?" the half-breed answered sheepishly.

Hakkai looked really close to whacking Gojyo when Sanzo's voice took his attention.

"Mind explaining that, Hakkai? Why can't we get him back after a certain limit of time?" the monk asked curiously.

The green eyed demon turned and faced the monk; emerald met amethyst. Sighing, the healer began, "Basically, Goku had lived with his golden limiter for quite a long period of time. It should not be replaced that easily, otherwise Goku's body won't be able to take it." Hakkai took a deep breath before continuing, "But, the scientist has somehow managed to replace the limiter with the new silver one. Normally, Goku's body would refuse any other limiters except the original one, but I'm afraid that the silver limiter is specially created. It will force Goku's body to adapt itself to the silver limiter, until it reaches the point of being irreplaceable like the original golden one. And after that stage will be completed, not even his original golden limiter will be able to seal his true power afterwards; his body and mind are forever under the effect of the silver limiter." Hakkai ended his explanation, causing a heavy silence to fall within them.

Gojyo swallowed hard, "You mean… if we don't get rid of the fucking silver limiter, the saru will never come back to us? He'll stay forever by that fucking kami's side?"

Hakkai nodded, "Hai, unless we managed to release him from the silver limiter's effect before his fever breaks." The healer added.

"Fever?" Sanzo asked sharply.

Turning his attention back to the monk, Hakkai answered, "I forgot to tell you guys; the silver limiter has a terrible side effect. Before Goku's body can fully adapt itself with the limiter, it will cause Goku to have high fevers and nightmares every night."

Hakkai's statement was followed with gasps from Yaone and Lirin, and widening eyes from Sanzo and Gojyo.

"Your kidding me!" Gojyo stuttered, eyes wide in disbelief.

Sanzo, on other hand, was speechless. The thought of Goku suffering every night was more than enough to make him shudder.

Whoever that fucking scientist is, I'll make him pay dearly for causing Goku to suffer like that…

The monk gritted his teeth, anger blazing within his eyes.

"Is there any way to stop Goku-san from suffering the fever?" Yaone asked worriedly with a motherly tone.

This time, Hakkai shook his head, "I'm afraid not. The fever is a sign of Goku's body fighting against the limiter's effect. If it stops, it means Goku's body has lost the fight and at this point," Hakkai's eyes darkened, "his body and soul will completely belong to Homura, by his own will. There will be no chance for us to get him back." The green eyed youkai said in a low voice.

Not a single voice was heard after Hakkai's statement, before Sanzo's cold hiss finally broke the silence, "When will the limiter take a full effect on him?"

Again, Hakkai shook his head, "I'm afraid I can't give an accurate answer. It depends on Goku. But I assume it will be three days at the most."

Gojyo let out a string of curses.

"So, we have only three days to snap the saru's mind back?" the red head confirmed, groaning as Hakkai just gave him a quiet nod as the answer.

Silence fell once again.

Suddenly to everybody's surprise, Sanzo started to walk away from them; and towards the metal door they knew leading to Homura's tower.

"Oi bouzu! Where do you think you're going?" the red head of the group asked.

Without looking at his caller, the high priest answered coldly, "Moron. That bastard also took my sutra, and like hell I'll continue this fucking journey without my sutra. I'm only doing what's needed to be done."

Another voice joined Gojyo's, "You're not thinking about going in there alone and rescuing Son Goku all by yourself aren't you?" Kougaiji spoke with low voice.

Sanzo just grunted as he kept walking, "I don't remember saying that I'm going in there to that baka saru. I need to get my sutra back and I'll make sure that no one will stand in my way, even if it means I have to snap the saru's mind back," the monk spoke.

Kougaiji almost smiled at Sanzo's words. It was clear that the monk was trying to hide his worry for his charge. Ok, he got the hints. It seemed that even the unfeeling bastard hadsoft spot then.

"Very well. You're not thinking about going in there all alone and fetch the sutra all by yourself, are you?" the youkai prince asked again, grinning teasingly.

Sanzo's eyebrows twitched as he realized that Kougaiji was making fun on him.

"So what if I am? It's not like you guys are going to help either," the monk spoke sarcastically, as expected.

But what was unexpected was Kougaiji's answer.

"So what if we are?" the youkai prince answered calmly.

Sanzo stopped in mid-step and turned to face Kougaiji;

"There must be something to this, right? This is my mess; I don't need any of your help. You have nothing to do with this." Sanzo spoke coldly.

"You've already used our help," Kougaiji said, his tone was just as cold as Sanzo's, "Where do you think you got the information about the silver limiter from? And I believe I've said that I don't want to lose my rival this way. I'll be the one to beat Son Goku." The youkai prince spoke, his tone solemn and determined.

Sanzo was left speechless by Kougaiji's words. Nevertheless, still with his mountainous pride, he broke the eye contact with the youkai prince and snorted, "Tch. Do as you please. But I'm warning you, if you get in my way, I'll kill you."

Kougaiji smirked, "To tell the truth, I'm about to do just that. I want to tell you that it isn't a good idea to storm the tower right now, being the careless monk that you are."

"And since you are a damned-mind-your-own-business youkai, should I warn you about the possibility of losing your head any minute now?" Sanzo hissed sarcastically with barely suppressed anger. No one ordered the High Priest Genjo Sanzo around!

Kougaiji just spoke calmly as if he wasn't interrupted, "You're in no condition to fight the Toushin, let alone to rescue your saru. Not without a plan. Besides," the youkai prince added, "I believe Cho Hakkai is still in no condition to storm the tower either." He spoke nonchalantly eyeing the green eyed youkai who immediately retorted,

"No, I'm…"

Without warning, Gojyo pinched Hakkai's left arm, hard. The green eyed youkai inhaled sharply, wincing in agony.

"What was that for, Gojyo?" he asked, rubbing his left arm.

The said red head frowned, "Isn't that clear enough 'Kai? You're definitely in no condition to fight that fucking kami! You couldn't even scratch him when you were in perfect condition, let alone now when you're still healing from your wounds!" Gojyo spoke, worry clear in his voice.

Hakkai just stared at his best friend, his expression unchanged as he spoke, "Well, I am in perfect condition, Gojyo."

This time, Gojyo looked really close to whacking Hakkai as he hissed, "Quit joking, Hakkai."

Hakkai stared at squarely at Gojyo's scarlet eyes for a brief moment.

"I am not, Gojyo. This time, it's entirely my fault," the green eyed youkai spoke, his voice dark and serious.

"You guys trusted Goku to me, yet I failed to protect him. I felt so pathetic; I could only stare as Homura grabbed Goku and disappeared. I couldn't even sense Homura's presence near us, despite the fact that Goku had been telling me that he felt we're being stalked…" he bowed his head, regret filled his features, "The last time I also failed him. If only I didn't fall unconscious at that time, I would've been able to fix Sanzo's wound, then Goku wouldn't have lost control and the whole event would not have been happened."

He closed his eyes in solemn, "I've failed Goku, again. I failed you guys. And I failed myself. I couldn't save Kanan, and now I couldn't protect my own friend…"

The green eyed youkai finally raised his head, determination in his eyes, "But things are different now. I won't let it happen again. I've lost Kanan, and we've nearly lost Goku once. I promise this time, I'll do whatever it takes to save Goku. Even if it means losing myself." His fingers slowly trailed over his left ear, touching the metal cuffs gently.

Sanzo and Gojyo could feel a cold shudder run down their spines at the healer's words. They already have to deal with a berserk Goku; they don't have slightest intention of dealing with berserk Hakkai as well!

"Er… I think, you're getting ahead of yourself, 'Kai. This isn't only your fault you know. Remember what I said the last time? This is our mess; we're going to fix it together." Again, wise words uncommonly came from Gojyo's usually swearing mouth.

Hakkai smiled weakly towards his red-haired friend. Sanzo, on other hand, turned and faced Kougaiji instead.

"Alright Kougaiji. Now spit out whatever plan you have for us."

A/N: There you go. This is getting tougher than I expected. If my schoolwork doesn't decrease, I'll be needing months to update.

Anyway, please tell me what you think. Any comments will be appreciated.

By the way, can you guess who I 'plan' to kill in this fic? If you manage to guess it right I 'might' change my mind and let him/her alive XD I'm planning to kill at least two persons. Can you guess who and who?

Up to the challenge!

Ja ne!

-r&k