Forever Black and Blue

Ok, this is my first ever fanfic so don't be too critical. As soon as I saw PMK and then some of the other fanfics I just had to write this! I tweaked history slightly, as the real Okita Souji died at the age of 25 from tuberculosis so I thought 'what if Souji survived and came back to the Shinsengumi?' so here it is! Please enjoy... ^_^

(The title 'forever black and blue' is meant to show Hijikata and Okita as sort of bruises...if that makes sense :-S because, as Souji got ill and had to go to hospital, their relationship was damaged = bruising. :-D)

Hijikata stood beneath the sakura tree, his katana poised in front of him. He was in the middle of his morning exercise, which consisted of standing in the same place in the same stance, thrusting his katana up and down. Okita sat, watching him, his pet piglet Saizo dozing on his lap. The morning was crisp and warm, the sun's rays beating pleasantly on Okita's pale face, his blue kimono sitting lightly on his thin shoulders

"Hey, Toshi, Souji! Breakfast is ready!" called Ayu from the mess hall.

"OK! We'll be there in a minute!" Okita called back then turned back to Hijikata. "Toshi, you heard her! I don't know about you but I'm starved."

At this, Hijikata looked up, a huge smile on his usually stone face

"Really? Are you really hungry, Souji?" Okita thought for a moment then, as if prompting him, his stomach growled for nourishment. He nodded

"Yes, I am!" Okita grinned and got up. As his legs were still not quite able to support him, he stumbled slightly. He rested his hand on the support beam of the raising-deck and caught his breath – which he found much easier than it had been.

"Do you need me to carry you, Souji?" asked Hijikata, placing a hand on his friend's bony shoulder. Okita shook his head with a gentle smile

"I can manage, I think. Thank you." The two men walked slowly towards to the smell of fresh rice, fish and tea. They had to stop several times for Souji to catch his breath. Hijikata allowed his friend to lean against him in order to keep himself from falling.

It had been almost a week since Souji had returned from Edo Hospital and he was already more or less back to his old self. Shinpachi and Sano had practically tackled him as soon as he and Hijikata had stepped out of their Rikshasa but, to everyone's surprise, he seemed almost unfazed. He had coughed slightly but that was all. He was still incredibly thin and had only just got his appetite back.

Hijikata was glad to see Okita happy once again. In the two years he'd spent in the hospital, he had halved in both size and spirit. Now the constant cheery smile he had worn before his sickness was back and never left his pale face. At breakfast, he had three helpings and four cups of herbal tea. Ayu was glad to see him so hungry and didn't mind at all about the extra work.

"Glad to have you back, Okita-san." She said refilling his cup for the fifth time.

"Thank you. I must say I have missed your cooking the most, Ayu, the food at the hospital is so dreadfully dull." He grinned and took a sip of his tea "Your tea is better than ever too!" Ayu laughed, her cheeks flushing scarlet, at the flattery and gave him an extra rice ball that he ate with gratification. When he had finished and was nicely filled, he and Hijikata went to sit beneath Okita's favourite sakura tree.

Okita lay in the sun, much to Hijikata's disagreement. Hijikata sat beside him, running his fingers through his friend's dark plum hair. They stayed there in silence for several moments, Hijikata watching Okita's content face as he enjoyed to comfort of the glossy grass beneath him and the warming sun's rays from above. Finally he spoke

"I'm so glad to be home…" he said, opening his orb-like violet eyes to look up at Hijikata. They met his browns and the vice-commanders stony face softened into a small smile.

"I'm glad you're here, Souji." he allowed Souji to rest his head on his lap as he continued to stroke his hair. The smile didn't leave his face as the two talked through the morning. They spoke softly to each other, never once being interrupted. It was mostly Hijikata that spoke, Souji listening intently as he played with the grass. He only spoke when Hijikata asked him a question or for his opinion on something. Souji was just glad to hear his commanding officer speak so kindly and gently to him again.

"Souji, how are you?" Hijikata asked, quite suddenly. Souji sighed - he knew it would come to him sooner or later

"Fine. I feel a lot better now I'm back here and even Susumu says I'm a lot stronger. I'm still quite tired but I'm not as sleepy as I was."

"Have you been coughing much?" Hijikata asked, stringing a few strands of Okita's hair into a long thin plait.

"Well - yes but they aren't nearly as bad as they were. And I haven't coughed up blood in almost a month." at this Hijikata's smile became a beam as Souji looked up him, his huge eyes full of happiness, the previuosly dark rings beneath the violet were gone, making the soft skin flawless once more."I'm getting better, Hijikata."

Souji sighed in contentment as he closed his eyes once again. Hijikata stroked his hair, combing it with his fingers only to stop suddenly

"Why did have to taint you?" Hijikata whispered. Okita's eyes snapped open

"What?"

"Why did I make you a demon, Souji?" He asked. Okita sat up slowly, his confused gaze never leaving Hijikata's crumpled face. Okita, in the 15 years he had known the vice-commander, he had never once seen him cry - even when he, Okita, was in the hospital and close to death. He made to put a hand on the older man's arm but hesitated.

"Why - why are you saying this now?" he asked, his voice shaking. Hijikata looked up at him, tears spilling over onto his cheeks.

"You were nine. Nine years old. I took your childhood away and --"

"Toshi? Toshi, its ok. I didn't care about that, please don't blame yourself. I was the one who asked you to train me. You were just--"

Hijikata grabbed Okita's thin wrist, gripping it tightly as he stared into his now slightly frightened purple eyes.

"How can you not be angry at me? I took away your humanity - your life! Why are you so calm about that?" his grip tightened on Okita's bone-thin wrist, making him wince.

"I-I'm not angry because I'm happy here - with you." replied Okita calmly. Hijikata relaxed his hand, releasing Okita and sat back, his eyes shut

"I'm...sorry. I'm just so frustrated! You still not being strong and everything - I just don't know what to do..." He felt a soft, cold hand on his cheek and he looked up to see Okita's gentle eyes, fixed reassuringly onto his.

"Its ok." he whispered, a thin smile appearing on his face. "I'm here." Hijikata felt more tears welling up and, not bothering to wipe them so they spilled over once more. Suddenly, to Okita's alarm, the vice-commander darted his upper body forwards, embracing his thin frame in a big, warm hug. From a passer-by it would have looked like a great black bear holding the petite captain "Toshi...?"

"Souji, thank you..."

End.