Rated M
New Beginning: The Same Refrain
Chapter 27
Albus had a second set of chambers added to the dungeons, affording Hannah and her son their own entrance for modesty's sake. Her chambers consisted of only a small kitchen and two bedrooms, and a bath, a disappearing doorway connecting her chambers to Severus. All magical objects in Severus' side were set up high on shelves to keep out of the small hands that would now be free to roam.
"I never thought I would live to see this." Minerva looked around the dungeon as Poppy cast wards against the darker books on Severus' bookcase. "I must say it is about time he found some happiness."
"That remains to be seen Minerva," Poppy said. "You know as well as I do how he takes failure, and this relationship will not last."
"Well, at least for now we can be happy for him." Minerva sniffed. "We should be gone before he gets here, I am sure he does not want an audience."
"You are quite right, however late," Severus smirked as he walked in carrying Tobias in one arm while holding the door open for Hannah with the other.
"Minerva," Hannah said, "You look just the same, it is good to see you again. And Poppy, I am glad it is you that will be caring for Chunk, I feel better just knowing you are still here."
"Chunk?" Poppy looked at the boy as Severus scowled down at Hannah.
"Severus does not like his nick name," Hannah tried to smile as she looked nervously around.
Poppy looked up at Severus and glared. "Until he puts his name behind the child's first he has no say in it. Now give me Chunk so I can start his chart."
"Poppy," Severus said as a warning.
"I need to unpack." Hannah left the room quickly reddening at Poppy's statement and Severus' quick response.
"Poppy, I will not stand for your treating Hannah with anything other than respect." He crossed his arms and staring at her.
"I can not pretend to sanction this arrangement," Poppy said taking the boy from him. "I will be professional and do the best I can, but do not ask me to give my approval."
"We do not need your approval," he spoke with a slow, low voice. "I would not expect this from you. I did not ask for her quarters to be connected to mine, nor did I indicate that this was anything other than an arrangement for the child's medical needs."
"I am sorry Severus," she said looking down at the boy that was struggling to get away from her. "Perhaps his mother should join us until he gets used to me."
"I will bring them to you in the morning. In the mean time, consider what I said. I am willing to leave Hogwarts if this becomes a problem."
Poppy turned and walked out muttering something under her breath that Severus understood to be a reflection of his personality traits. He smirked and shook his head watching her leave.
"Severus, you will do no such thing," Minerva said flatly. "Hannah is more than welcome here. You knew that you would face kind of attitude. Poppy will give the boy her best care regardless of her feelings toward this."
"I did not expect this from her." Severus ran hand through his hair. "Hannah is not here two minutes and she is treated to this. This arrangement, as you call it, is for the boy's sake."
"Master," Severus looked down to see Millie hopping from one foot to the other. "Is this for me?"
Severus looked at the elf and then at Tobias who sat on his hip smiling down at the elf and clapping his hands.
"Well," Minerva looked at the clapping boy. "No fear in that one."
"No Millie, he is not for you. However you may help Hannah with him." Severus looked down at Tobias and then bent over and set the boy on the floor in front of Millie.
Millie smiled warmly and clapped her hands much to Tobias' amusement who smiled and clapped in return.
"I will takes care of young Chunk Snape." Millie smiled as Severus rolled his eyes.
"Well," Minerva swallowed her smile. "There you have it . Mr Chunk Snape, another one in Poppy's camp."
"Minerva?" Again, Severus took the tone of the adult figure in the situation.
"Talk to Millie then," Minerva said turning to leave. "Good luck, she has been yours since your birth and you have yet to win an argument with her."
"Millie," Severus scowled. "His name is Tobias, not Chunk, and it is not Snape."
"Yes, Master," Millie said, lowering her ears and nodding.
"His last name is Haywood," Severus said pleased that Millie seemed to understand.
"Yes, Sir," Mille said blinking and looking up to Severus.
"Now, take him and show him where his room is." Severus looked around, not sure where the room was himself.
"Come that name that I call Chunk," Millie said, reaching for the lad's hand. "I shows the new Snape his room, Haywood no good for wizards."
"Good Merlin," Severus said shaking his head. He had lost again.
He went into Hannah's side of the joined chambers. He needed to talk to her and make sure she understood the arrangement was not his doing. He found her in her bedchamber standing at her bed, unpacking her suitcase while Tobias' small case still sat on the floor.
"Hannah?"
She spun around and looked at him as her face crumbled and she sat down heavily on the side of the bed.
"She looks at me like I am…" She could not finish the sentence as she lowered her head into her hands and cried.
Severus went over to her and pulled her to her feet and bringing her face up to look at him. "Hannah, she said that more for my benefit than yours. Do not let her upset you."
"She makes me feel like a tart. Like I am only here because I want to …"
"No, Hannah."
"I really thought his father loved me. I thought that this time it was different. She makes me feel like a whore or…"
"You don't need to do this." Severus let her go and stepped back. He did not want to hear about Tobias' father.
"I know, I just don't want you to think … I am not the same as I was before. Since I left here, I only had him. He told me that he…,"
"I told you that does not matter." He raked his hand through his hair and looked away from her.
"Yes, yes it does. You need to understand." She went to him and rested her hand on his back. "I was lonely. He was there and seemed so nice. He said all the right things, and I think he really meant to try. But when I was pregnant he just couldn't handle it."
She lowered her hand and went back to unpacking, keeping her face away from him. "He wanted me to get rid of it. He said later, when we could afford a child, we would have a family. But all I could think about was the child we lost. I kept thinking about him."
She sat down on the bed again and looked up at him. "Sometimes when things get rough and I can't afford everything I want for him, and I see him like he is now I wish he was yours. Then maybe he would have someone else to love him. Someone that would be around for him."
"We were too young." Severus closed his eyes and tipped his chin up to the ceiling, unable to turn to her.
"I know, and you scared me."
He spun around to look at her. "Scared?"
"The whiskey and how you made me feel when I smelled it on you." She looked at her lap and twisted her hands together. "That's how my step father smelled when he…"
He was to her in a few quick strides and pulled her up to his arms. Holding her close he rested his chin in her hair and felt how she leaned into him.
"I am sorry Hannah, I never knew."
"Severus?" She pulled back and looked up at him. "Do you drink as much as …"
"No, not for a long time." He smirked down at her. "Now go check on your son. Millie has a fondness of feeding little boys disgusting treats."
"Treats?" She started for the door glancing back over her shoulder.
"Don't ask." He laughed as she quickened her pace as he thought of cake and clotted cream.
.
.
.
Severus worked in his lab while not holding lessons. He would return late at night, long after Hannah and Tobias were asleep to fall asleep in his chair by the fire. His dreams had stopped. He no longer saw whispers of the past on his eyelids, or turned to see a shadow watching him from around a corner. He was at ease and content in his quarters for the first time since he had come to Albus and asked for redemption.
He left the rooms long before they woke, leaning over books at a table in the restricted area of the library, or reading over his notes in the lab. He hurried through his lessons only to return to his private work, standing over the caldron for long hours, broken only by the nights he had patrol. His weekends were taken up with trips to St Mungo's, and visits to Muggle Doctors familiar with this world.
"Severus?" Hannah stood behind him in the library one morning. "I thought I would find you here."
"What do you want?" He did not look up from the book.
"I am sorry to bother you." She turned and began to leave.
"Hannah."
"Yes, Severus?" She stopped and turned back to see him scowling at her.
"I did not mean it like it sounded." He stood, casting a look back at the text on the table. "I get rather one minded when I read."
"It is Tobias' Birthday. I told him you would be there." She worried her lip. "I shouldn't have told him that, but … well, he keeps asking for you."
"If you tell Millie she can arrange of a cake or what ever he wants from the kitchen," he scowled at her.
"I know that, she had already promised him his favourites, and a chocolate cake. I was just hoping you could join us for dinner."
"I will try, I have to see Poppy about his records after dinner."
"She will be there. She and Minerva promised to come." She looked more hopeful. "It is hard for him you know, living in the dungeons. He does not ask for much any more."
"I saw his chart last week. He is not losing weight." He glanced back at the book. "I assume the potions Poppy has are helping him."
"As far as eating," she looked down. "She said the bruising is normal for his condition."
"Hannah." He walked over to her and lifted her chin. "I know this is hard on you, but I never promised. I never said this would be easy."
"I know."
"Hannah?" He brought her face up higher to look into her eyes.
"He just wants to be three." Her eyes filled, as she fought not to cry. "All he has been talking about is three. I don't have a present for him, but if you come he won't care."
"I will be there. Send Millie if I get wrapped up and loose time."
"Thank you." She reached up and kissed his cheek before hurrying away.
Severus watched after her, and then returned to the table where he took up the book and began taking notes again. He felt no closer now than he had when he started his quest. Each time he thought he was near, he found his mistake, or the mistake in the previous research and started over. He was once again at the beginning and knew that if he were diverted again he would not have the time he needed. By his time frame, he only had three months left.
He only had two lessons that day, the first years and then a double in advanced potions. He prepared to head down to the classroom but at the last minute turned to the infirmary to speak to Poppy. Not finding her in her office, he picked up Tobias' file that she kept in a hanging rack next to her door. Taking the file to a chair near the window in her office, he sat down and began it read.
He had gone over the daily logs of the past week when Poppy came in to find him.
"Couldn't wait?" She seemed upset to see him in her office.
"You were not here. I needed to bring my self up to date," he spoke to her stiffly as he stood and placed the file back in the rack.
"If you were to see him you would not have to read his file." She crossed her arms and glared at him.
"I do not have time to play children's games. I am busy."
"When was the last time you saw the boy?"
Severus looked at her without answering, trying to remember. "You should be happy I am not in the quarters. You are the one that seemed to disapprove of the relationship."
"Severus, I am sorry. It was a normal reaction." She shook her head at him and hung her cloak by the door. "I guess I am old fashioned, but bringing her to your quarters, during term, with students about, it is not right."
"I am not the one who chose her rooms. I brought her here only to help her with her son. It was you and Minerva I found redecorating my quarters when I returned."
"Are you saying that she is nothing to you?"
"I am telling you to mind your own business." He stood and walked to the door. "The boy is weakening. What have you told Hannah?"
"She doesn't listen." Poppy took the file from the rack. "She wants to believe he is getting better."
"You have not led her to believe that I hope."
"Of course not, but he is sleeping better, he keeps his food down, and until lately has been full of energy." She looked up at him sadly. "How is the research going?"
"Not well. I am no closer now than I was before." He turned and headed back to his classroom to prepare for the first lesson, only to stop again and turn to the owlery. He sent a short missive then hurried to his lesson.
By the time Millie was pestering him to return to his Chambers for dinner he was still pacing outside by the main gates. Shortly a pop came behind him and he spun to see Molly Weasley.
"Madam," he greeted her with a bow. "I hope you forgive my forwardness. However, I am not experienced in this."
"Oh my goodness," she smiled warmly at him. "It's no problem at all. If anyone should know what to buy for a three year old, it would be me. Your owl gave me quite a start."
"I again thank you." He took the packages she held out for him.
"How are the twins doing?" She worried her lip and looked at him.
"They are, shall I say spirited?" he smirked seeing her face.
"Now really Professor." She narrowed her eyes.
"You should talk to Minerva. She is their head of house." He tried to be diplomatic.
"That bad, yeah?" She shook her head then smiled warmly. "Ronald will be starting next year, and then little Ginny."
"Wonderful," he intoned with a sneer.
"Seven in all." She beamed. "Minerva said you have fit in very nicely here."
"She is being kind." He clenched his teeth.
"Percy says you are a fine teacher."
"He is," he paused desperately thinking, "persistent."
"Well, how nice of you." She beamed again. "I have dinner on, so I shall just be popping off now."
"Again I thank you for this." He indicated the gaily-wrapped packages in his arms.
Molly smiled as she stepped back and spun back to the Burrow.
"One word out of you and you will be looking for a new Master," he glowered at Millie who stood looking up at him.
"Yes Master." Millie was hopping from foot to foot.
"Now what?" He sneered at her.
"Missus Master be angry." Millie looked around nervously.
"Angry?"
"She waits." Millie jerked her head toward the castle.
"Then I would suggest that we go." Severus started toward the castle carrying the packages, and then suddenly thrust them at Millie. "Here, take them to my chambers."
He continued walking hoping no one had seen his exchange with Molly. If Hannah and her son were to be kept out of sight it would not do to have him seen with a child's birthday presents in his arms. He reached the stairs as Albus stepped out.
"Professor," Albus said. "I am afraid that I must begin to call upon your oath shortly."
"My oath?" Severus stopped and frowned at Albus.
"I have evidence that the Dark Lord is planning a come back." Albus stepped closer to him. "It begins."