A/N: Okay, so honestly, I was not expecting this fast update. Teehee, but I wrote a math test today (it wasn't so bad) so I have one less subject in my work load for today. SO, on with my usually rambling author's notes… I'm glad so many of you loved how I got rid of Tanya (who didn't?), but be warned, just because Eddie is single now, DOES NOT mean he and Bella will hook up right away. That's unrealistic. Remember, Bella thought she got over him and now she's just really confused and a little in denial on how she feels, and Edward… well, we'll figure out how Edward feels in Chapter 10.
For those of you who thought Jacob's part was a weensy bit short, don't worry. I do not intend on making him a minor character. Jacob WILL appear again, maybe even sooner than you think…
So hopefully you are satisfied with this chapter. If not, I'm sorry, but keep in mind I am pushing back studying for a science test, an English assignment, and careers homework in order to get this to you. I'm kind of pressed for time here!
So, I won't hold you guys up any longer, here is Chapter EIGHT
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't attack my friends. This had nothing at all to do with Bella, so leave her alone." He said, his voice was evident with anger. I could tell he was trying very hard to control his temper at the moment.
He then turned his back on Tanya, put his hand on the small of my back, and swiftly led me away from the scene. Leaving Tanya and their mess of a relationship behind.
Chapter 8: I'll be home for Christmas
For the rest of the night Edward was pretty silent. I guess it was a mix of after shock from the "Tanya Affair" and anger over the same thing; the T-Affair, as I was now dubbing it in my mind. Yeah, I could bring on the gangsta when I needed to. Okay, ew, that sounded weird.
When we made it back to the main party room, we found Rose, Em, Alice, and Jasper sitting at a table drinking whatever-the-hell-was-in-their-glasses and munching on Christmas cookies. Actually, it was more Emmett doing the munching and Rosalie smacking the back of his head when crumbs would fly out of his mouth.
As we sat down, Alice immediately noticed Edward's moodiness and was about to say something when I shook my head ever so slightly at her. She shut her mouth but gave me the look that meant "You better spill when we get back or I shall dissect you". It was so heart warming, really.
The rest of the night was pretty dismal for Edward, and I suppose through extension, me. I didn't really know why, but whenever Edward was unhappy, I was unhappy. It must have been because we've known each other so long, we have some weird connection. I probably felt the same thing with Alice and Emmett anyway. Pft.
Finally, around midnight, the others called it quits since we needed to be up be up early tomorrow to start our drive home to Forks.
That was another thing I wasn't looking forward to.
I wanted to take my truck home, drive it by myself. I didn't want to be in another car riding with one of them, plastering fakes smiles on my face and having to listen to "Fergalicious" over and over again (no offense to "Fergalicious" fans, but I don't think it's the type of music Bella likes listening to). Nope. I wanted to be allowed a few nice hours in my truck, alone, able to be myself. When I was with them, I had to put up a guard. Make sure I don't let anything slip or get too close, and I was pretty sure Alice knew something was up. Regardless, driving in my truck wasn't too much to ask, right?
But, nooooo.
I would be wasting too much gas, my truck couldn't make it there on one tank of gas, the "big, red thing" didn't look safe enough to drive for long periods of time. What was it? Pick on Bella's Truck Day?
Finally, after stalking me after classes and bugging me to give in, I surrendered and agreed to ride in someone else's car. It looked like I will have to be guarded all trip.
But going back to the present, Edward and I were walking side by side back to the dorms. We usually branched off into pairs while walking and I would be left lagging behind, but this time, without Tanya, Edward and I walked together. Not like it made a difference. He didn't talk to me. I wasn't really sure whether I wanted him to or not.
The guys got off the elevator on their floor, Jasper and Emmett bid us ladies goodnight, Edward was silent.
As soon as Rose opened the door to our dorm, Alice took my hand and sat me down on my bed, plopping herself down next to me.
"Spill!" she demanded.
I shrugged, "Edward and Tanya broke up."
Rose rolled her eyes as she sat down too. "We already figured that out when she didn't walk back with us. We mean how."
"Um… Edward saw Tanya cheating on him with Mike Newton…"
"EW! Gross! Mike Newton?! I may already have a boyfriend, but I'm not ashamed to say that Edward is waaaaay better than Mike. Why the hell would she be with Mike when she already had Edward?" Rosalie said, obviously disgusted.
I shrugged again. "Beats me. She is pretty much dumped and now Edward is free to date someone way more bearable than Tanya."
There was silence for a few seconds.
"Like… you?" Alice piped up.
"What? No! When did I say me?" I asked, shocked at Alice's bluntness. Then again, she never did have a thing for subtlety.
"You never did say you, but… well I thought you loved my brother."
"Key word there Alice, I loved him. I'm over him now. I thought I already told you that."
"Yeah, but… never mind. So that's the whole story, then?"
"Yup."
"Okay, then. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Good night." And with that last parting comment, Alice sprung off the bed and off to her own dorm room across the hall.
I was a bit surprised though. It wasn't like Alice to leave so abruptly when gossiping. She usually stayed until she got every single juicy detail out of you, right down to what kind of mascara whoever was using, or whether or not I thought the guy in question used Tresemmé on his hair.
With her sudden silence, something told me that little pixie was up to her little schemes… again.
* * *
The next morning, after another nightmare filled night, I slumped as I leant by my truck, watching Alice and Rosalie ordering the boys about. Telling them which bags to be careful with and whatnot. I swear, with the amount of luggage Alice was taking for a two-week trip, she might as well been moving back home. I took another sip of my cappuccino, looking up to the sky. The nightmares had gotten to the point where I was afraid to go to sleep. I knew I had to eventually, it was inevitable, but it didn't stop it from scaring the crap out of me.
I was thinking about asking for sleeping pills, the kind that zonk you out so bad, you are pretty much blacked out for the whole night. But then decided against it. I needed a valid medical reason for those, and if I told the doctor I had horrifying nightmares about a psychotic killer… well, let's just say he'd be giving me the number to a psychiatrist.
"Bellaaaaaaa! Ready to hit the open road?" Alice said, waving her little hands in my face.
"No, now go away." I grumbled, taking another swig of my coffee.
"That's nice. Now I'm going to tag along with Rose and Emmett in Em's car okay?" Emmett usually drove a jeep, but he left it in Forks for a more practical car to use here. Jazz already left for the airport two hours before to fly down south. Alice saw him off.
"Fine." I said, getting up to follow her to Emmett's car.
"No, silly. You're going to ride with Edward in his car."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes."
"Do I even get a choice?"
"No."
"Why are you so insistent I ride with Edward?"
"So he won't be lonely."
"So why don't you ride with him?'
"Oh Bella," she laughed. "You will thank me for all of this in the future. Trust me. Now stop arguing with me and get into Edward's car. He's waiting for you."
Defeated, I slowly walked over to Edward's silver Volvo. He still hadn't changed it since I left for Phoenix two years ago. The thing was like his precious baby. He hardly let anyone else but himself touch it, let alone drive it. I felt that if left him alone with it, he would start saying "Preciouuuuussss…" like Golem from the Lord of the Rings.
I opened the door and slipped into the soft, black leather passenger seat.
"Morning Edward." I greeted him glumly.
"Morning," he chuckled, obviously amused by my grumpy state. Why wasn't he feeling better… I ignored him and pulled out my iPod.
We drove in silence, neither one of us willing to start a conversation. I took the quiet time to not only listen to my music but to also take a look around the familiar space. Most everything was the same. Piles of CDs both in the CD compartment and out. There were a couple of new things, such as the one or two medical books which I guess he studied since he wanted to become a doctor like his father. The cab still held his sweet scent perfectly.
"So…" Edward said, breaking the silence. He quickly glanced at me. "Alice told me you're majoring in English Lit. Planning on becoming an author?"
"I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. Maybe." I replied, staring out the window instead of looking at him. Another thing that hasn't changed about him I thought as I watched the scenery whiz past, he still drives like a maniac.
We made occasional light conversation for the rest of the ride, but for the most part, we were silent. It was a little awkward. Kind of like our first "conversation" the first time we met again after a two year's absence. What was that about me thanking Alice again?
"Bye Bella! We're gonna drop Rose off and then we'll stop by later, okay?" Alice called from her open car window when we stopped at my house, hours later.
I nodded in response then watched as they drove away. I could hear Emmett booming in song as the car drove out of sight. Shaking my head, I chuckled to myself.
"Thanks for the ride Edward." I said, taking my suitcases from the trunk of the Volvo.
"Let me help you." He offered, taking my bags from me.
"I can carry them you know."
"I know."
He stubbornly started walking towards the front door. Huffing, I grudgingly followed him. I wasn't that helpless was I? He always had to be the gentleman.
The house had a holly wreath on the door and Christmas lights strewn along the edge of the roof. It was clumsily done, but nice. That's when I saw an unfamiliar car in the driveway parked next to Charlie's police cruiser. I didn't know Charlie would be having someone over…
I took my key and opened the front door, stepping aside to let Edward in with my bags.
"Dad! I'm home!" I called into the house. I could hear the football game playing on the TV.
"Bells? You're home?" I saw Charlie's brown, curly head appear around the corner of the hall. "Bella!"
My father came forward and hugged me tight. Well, this was the second time he had greeted me so warmly and it was still a tad awkward. He backed away and smiled at me.
"Hey, Dad," I said, smiling a bit in response. "How are you?"
"I'm good, Bella." He then just noticed Edward. "Edward? That you? It's good to see you again. I haven't seen you much since you left for college."
Edward just put on his adult-charming smile that just screamed Good Boy, and replied, "No, sir. It's good to see you again too."
"Charlie? Is that your daughter?" I heard another voice say behind Charlie.
I looked around him to see a middle-aged man, a little older than Charlie, in a wheel chair. He had long black hair, russet skin, and an Aboriginal-made looking blanket draped over his lap. I was guessing he was Native American.
"Yep" Charlie said, sounding proud. "Bella, this is Billy Black. An old friend of mine I got back in touch with recently. He used to live on that reservation, La Push, and moved back there a few months ago."
"I shook his hand politely and was about to excuse myself to put my bags in my room, when a very familiar face came around the corner.
"Jacob?" I asked, surprised.
"Hey, Bella! What a coincidence. I just got home an hour ago to see a note from my dad to meet him hear. I never knew Charlie Swan is your father."
"Wow, small world." I muttered, more to myself.
"You two already know each other?" Charlie asked, puzzled.
"Sort of," I said. "We met briefly at a Campus Christmas party last night."
"I was hoping I would get to see you again," Jacob said. "But this soon? That's just a bonus." He laughed and I found myself chuckling a bit with him. He was a very likeable guy. Down to earth, nice.
"Oh, hi again, Edward." Jacob said, noticing Edward who was still behind me. Jeez, even I had forgotten he was there. He had been so quiet all this time.
I turned around to look at Edward and noticed he was quite stiff, kind of like last night when he didn't say a word to me after the T-Affair. He only nodded and sort of grunted in response. Since when did Edward become so rude to new people? I didn't remember him being like this before.
"We better go now, Charlie. You should be given a little catch-up time with your daughter." Billy said, checking the clock on the wall.
"Are you sure? You could stay longer if you like." Charlie said.
"No, it's fine. Jacob?" Jacob nodded at his father and started to push him out of the door. As they went by me, Billy grasped my hands saying a goodbye and, to my utter surprise, Jacob gave me a hug. Not a tight, big hug, for that would have been a little awkward coming from someone you just met, but a light, friendly hug. Sort of a "Happy Holidays" hug.
I found myself not feeling awkward in his embrace. It was strange because ever since the incident, I found myself preferring to avoid physical contact. I'm not saying that Jacob's hug was a monumental turning point in my life, but it was, for a lack of a better word… nice.
I gave him a very light hug back before he let go of me.
"I'll see you around, Bella." He said.
"Sure thing, Jacob." I replied.
Once the door was closed, I turned around about to gather my bags to bring up to my room when Edward quickly picked them up instead. I looked up to his face to see a very hard, closed off look on it. One that made it seem as if he were trying to hide what he was feeling from me. I didn't like it. But most concerning of all, I had no idea where it could have come from.
"Let me" he said shortly, and started walking towards and up the stairs.
Charlie had gone back into the living room, not wanting to miss anymore of the game. He was such a typical guy, my father.
I followed Edward as he walked stiffly up the stairs. I wondered if he needed a reminder as to where my room was, but it seemed he didn't. Without hesitation, he walked into my room and dropped my bags on the floor near the end of my bed. He looked around, as if revisiting a childhood memory. Actually, that already was a pretty accurate description.
"Are you gonna stick around, or are you going to go see your parents?" I asked.
"Do you want me to leave?"
"Of course not." I said, but of course, the lie told itself out. In truth, I did want him to leave. I was still avoiding him and the others, or at least trying to. But I also wanted to ask Charlie some more stuff about the investigation on Renee's… well you know. And I couldn't do it right away with Edward hanging around.
Of course Edward caught the lie and his eyes narrowed. I knew what he was thinking. That I didn't want him around since I didn't enjoy his company or something like that, but that was only half true. I liked his company, when we weren't being all awkward like we were ever since last night. But that was definitely not the reason I wanted him to leave.
I just decided to let him believe the reason he set up in his mind because there was no way in hell I was going to tell him the truth.
"So you do want me to leave?" I didn't answer.
He stared hard into my dull, brown eyes.
"What is wrong with you, Bella?" he said quietly, as if more to himself. "Why have you been so distant lately? You're there, but not fully. Is something wrong?" His bright green eyes changed from irritation to concern.
"No, nothing's wrong." I lied.
"Lie. Something's wrong, Bella. Tell me. Maybe I can help."
"There's nothing to help."
"Are we going to have a repeat of movie night?" He asked, getting annoyed again.
"That depends on whether or not you push me too far." I replied coldly. I didn't like him bringing up that movie night. It wasn't fair and he knew it.
"Bella, what is the matter with you? Why do you keep pushing yourself away from me? I'm your friend, I want to help!"
"I don't need help!" we were very nearly shouting now.
"Would you tell Jacob?"
"What?" I said, surprised. Since when did Jacob have anything to do with this? Edward's eyes were angry and fed up with built up frustration. Something told me he had been frustrated on this topic of my distance for a while, but never had confronted me about it till now.
"Would you tell Jacob your problems? Because you seem a hell of a lot friendlier to him then the rest of us, and you just met him!"
"What does Jacob have to do with any of this? He's just some guy I met! I don't see why you're unnecessarily bringing him into all of this." I crossed my arms over my chest, out right angry now. I had no idea what his problem was with Jacob, but he needed to get over it.
"I'm saying you've been distant for no good reason! You've shown Jacob more closeness than you have me or Emmett in the past four weeks! You hugged the guy!"
"I don't see what the big deal is!"
"Of course you don't because you've been too obsessed with feeling sorry for yourself after Renee's death to notice anything! Why won't you talk to us? Why won't you open up to me anymore?! I've waited so long to talk with you again. Two years! And when I do meet you again, you're cold and far away. Why can't you just talk to me?"
I knew he was pleading to know what was wrong with me, he was worried. But that didn't justify his accusations against me. I was obsessed with feeling sorry for myself?! That wasn't anywhere near the truth! I was staying away to protect him! A murderer was on the loose, an abusive man who had my name next on his list and I couldn't afford to put anyone else in danger.
Even though I couldn't tell him all that, it still gave him no right to assume such things about me!
"I don't need this!" I said angrily. "I have my reasons. Just because you don't know every single one doesn't mean you can assume things about me."
"I'm not assuming, I know your reasons, Bella. You think you're perfect don't you! That because your mother died, you're special and deserve special treatment! Isn't that it? That's why you don't talk to Emmett, Alice, and I like you used to! We're not good enough for you anymore! Well, is Jacob worthy of you!?! Can you open up to him? I want you to open up to me! Tell me what's wrong!"
I stared at Edward is a mix of fury and shock. I kept trying to tell myself that he was only angry and didn't mean any of it. That he was still my friend Edward underneath, but I just found it hard to believe. I thought Edward would've known me better than that to say such things about me.
He's only angry, he doesn't mean it, he's only angry.
Edward was breathing heavily, still looking mad. "So, I'm right, aren't I? You're just too special that we are no longer worthy of your time. Well, sorry for trying to be your friend again, Bella. I should have known you would have been too different and cold."
I finally found my voice again, "You think that I think I'm special?! Perfect?!"
"I know you do."
Rage overtook my words that I no longer had a filter on what was coming out of my mouth. I knew I was probably yelling loud enough that Charlie could hear me, but the words would be too muffled for him to make out. Knowing him, he'd stay downstairs, away from the drama. Tears were streaming down my face as I jabbed my finger at Edward.
"Edward, you idiot! I am not perfect! I'm not special at all! According to Phil, I'm worthless! I'm stupid and worthless! And he made sure to not only tell me that, but to show me every single day until he decided to 'off' my mother!"
As soon as the words were out of my lips I regretted them. Slapping my hand over my mouth, I stared at Edward with wide eyes. He looked just as shocked, his own eyes were rounder than UFOs.
Okay, that was so stupid. So, so stupid.
I quickly turned around so Edward can no longer see my face. I just ruined it. Great. I said I wouldn't say anything to anyone, and now I've gone and ruined it. I held back the tears, but I knew they couldn't be restrained for long.
"Edward," I said quietly, "I think you'd better go."
"Bella…"
His voice was full of regret and remorse at his harsh words. Proof that he never really meant them in the first place, that he was only angry, but that didn't mean I wanted to be around him right then.
"Go, Edward."
"But Bella, I didn't mean…" he sounded so pathetic, I wanted to hug him. I would have if I wasn't so distracted over other matters…
"I said go."
"Bella, listen-"
"GO!" I yelled, still not facing him.
I heard him hesitate for a second or two, before turning around and quickly leaving my room. I listened to him as he went down the stairs and out the front door without saying anything to Charlie. When I finally heard the purr of his Volvo driving away, I sank down on the floor of my bedroom, and cried.
A/N: Phew! So, Hit or Miss?
So just to clear things up before I get reviews saying, "EDWARD WAS SO MEEEEAAAAAAN! WHY DID YOU MAKE HIM SUCH A MEEEEAAAAAAN POO HEAD?!"
Well, he was being mean, but you have to understand that he never actually meant any of what he said. It was all his pent up frustrations with Bella that made him lash out like that and say things he doesn't actually think. I don't know about you, but I've definitely had moments where I say things I don't mean, or even know where they come from, because of anger. So I hope this clears up the air.
The only thing I have left to say is REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, AND REVIEW SOME MORE!!!
Peace out.