Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in my story. All of it belongs to J.K. Rowling. The plot just popped into my head while I was reading DH.

Chapter 4

Over a month had passed since the start of term, and for the most part, everything was the same as always. The only difference was that teachers tried too hard to mix the houses and that points weren't given anymore.

Hermione woke up to another gloomy day as the end of October chill settled over the grounds. Slowly, she got up and made her bed and got ready for the day. Stepping into the Head's adjoining common room, she spotted Draco asleep on the sofa.

Curious, since he was always up before her, she walked over to him. He looked troubled, a slight sheen of sweat upon his brow. She poked his shoulder to wake him, but as soon as she touched him, his eyes snapped open.

His eyes looked crazed, his pupils were dilated and the bit of his irises that you could see were a ghostly silver.

"What?" he asked, hoarse. "Mother? Are you alright? Did he hurt you?"

Hermione was worried now, he didn't seem to be in the right stated of mind.

"Draco? Its me, Hermione." he blinked a bit and shook his head.

"Hermione? Oh… it was only a dream," he got up and steadied himself on the sofa rubbing his eyes.

"Are you alright? Would you like to see madam Pompfrey?"

"No, no, I'm fine, just a dream…" he started walking toward the other side of the room and Hermione stared at him for a seond before heading back toward the entrace to the common room.

"Hermione?" she turned around to face him

"Yes?"

He hesitated for a second, "Thank you," he shut his door, leaving Hermione thoughtful.

"Hey, Mione," Harry and Ginny said as she sat down. She nodded at them before taking one her text books out. Finding an empty jug, she leaned her book on it and started eating a muffin as she read. Two chapters later, Harry tapped her on the shoulder.

"Yeah?" she asked, marking her page.

"Mione, you know that were your friends right? Friends that would help you no matter what?" his tone was serious and Hermione looked over to Ginny who was trapped in conversation with Lavender, then Ron who was sitting a few seats away.

"Yes, I think so," she felt the air around her become heavy with unspoken sadness.

"Then can you please tell me what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"Mione, you're not answering questions in class, you practically live in the library now, you never really talk to us anymore, and your losing weight. Now if you're going to tell me everything is just daisies and sunshine- don't. You know as much as I that its not," her heart had sped up as he had been talking but she ignored it.

"Daisies and sunshine? Really Harry, nothing's wrong, a bit stress out, but what can you expect with being Head girl? And don't forget I'm taking more classes than everyone, well except for Draco." she gave him one of her fake smiles that were as perfect as porcelain. He raised his eyebrows at the mention of Draco, but sill looked doubtful.

"Hermione, just make sure you tell me when you're ready okay?"

"Nothing's wrong Harry, but fine, I'll tell you if something is wrong in the future. Alright?"

"Alright," Hermione got up, packing her things. "I'm going to go to potions now, were going to be brewing Faux Tears, remember?" she walked out of the great hall, ignoring another curious pair of eyes.

"Today class, we will be brewing Faux Tears! Can anyone tell me what the this potion does?" Prof. Slughorn looked around the class, hopeful. There were only eight students in the class and no one was very inclined to participate.

"No one? Well, how about you miss Granger?"

"The Faux Tears," she said quietly, "Is used to help people who have a suppressed memory. Mostly those in therapy. It loosens the mind so that the person can 'cleanse' themselves of mental pain. However, if too much is given mental pain can turn physical, making them die from internal bleeding." Most of the students looked queasy but Prof. Slughorn didn't seem to notice.

"Well said miss Granger!" he said. "Now since it is very dangerous I want us all to be working in pairs. When you have finished, you will show me your work, then I will give the ones with the best potion one dose each." Hermione could see the people around her shift, looking for a partner. "Alright, everyone, get started."

Someone tapped her shoulder softly, and Hermione turned around.

"Can I be your partner?" Draco asked her, to everyone's shock. They had gotten along slightly, on an unspoken truce, but she had never thought he would try to actually approach her.

"Yeah, of course," she said. "I'll just get the ingredients, can you start the fire?" he nodded to her and started to light one of the glass bottom cauldrons.

"So you're working with Malfoy?" Harry asked her as they waited in line so they could collect ingredients.

"Yeah," she replied, trying to stop the curious stares she getting.

"Oh, okay. Just wanted to know when you two started getting along," he said, trying to sound offhand, but Hermione could tell he was mad with not being able to be her partner.

"Draco isn't all bad, Harry. I thought you'd know that by now,"

The process was slow and delicate, and Hermione was glad to have Draco as a partner. He was quiet but he knew what to do.

About one hour into the brewing, Hermione saw sparks come off Harry and Ernie McMallin's cauldron, and then after another half, she saw a pair of Ravenclaws' boil over.

"Time's up!" Prof. Slughorn boomed. Hermione set down the ladle, satisfied as Draco took it off the fire to cool. "let's see here…hmm, boiled over I see, you must've added too much licorice sap…sparks? That means you never added the crushed sunflower petals…this one looks passable, a bit more blue than opaque really- Oh what do we have here?" he had finally reached Hermione and Draco's potion and a yell of delight issued from him. "A perfect potion! Really!- you even got that sheen in it, well done you two!" Hermione smiled politely and Draco nodded. "As promised, you both get one dose of Faux Tears, now be cautioned. It really only helps with things like a little heartache or bad dreams." The bell rang, and Slughorn magicked away the potions, except for the two phials he had. "Have a nice day everyone!" he called to their backs.

"Well, that was fun," Harry commented as they headed off to charms. Hermione gave him a shrug in response because Draco was just a few feet ahead. "I mean, I just never would have thought to see you two get along," Harry persisted.

"I told you Harry," she sighed, "we've been getting along pretty well since the start of term. Why don't you try to, too?" Harry laughed and shook his head.

"As long as were in the same room and not fighting is progress enough," he told her.

"Fine, be that way," she huffed.

"Awe, Hermione you know that's true,"

"What's true?" Ron asked, startling Hermione. Ron had the least classes of the three so they only really spent time together in charms, transfiguration, and DADA.

"Nothing," Hermione said, and sped up a little.

The day passed quickly after the incident in potions and soon it was already midnight. Hermione, though, was still up completing a charms essay due in two weeks. When the clock stuck the half-past she set her quill down, stretching. Looking out the common room window, she could see the start of rain. It was soft and calming but she knew from past experience it would turn into a storm in less than an hour. Turning away, she gathered her things.

"So are you finally finished?" Hermione turned around with her arms full, looking at Draco.

"Hello to you too," she said, then yawned.

"You know you work too much," he told her. Hermione stared at his eyes, trying to determine if she should take him seriously. They were as clear as when they were in the train.

"Well you work too little,"

"No, if I'm passing then I'm working just right."

"So you're fine with going through life with an Acceptable and nothing more?"

"If it means I'm living to my satisfaction then yes, but your not doing that." he pointed an accusatory finger at her, to her slight amusement.

"Oh really? Then what exactly am I doing? I like work, there's nothing wrong with that,"

"Its wrong when you use it like a drug," he said, whispering. Hermione thought he was acting a bit drunk but the clarity of his eyes seemed intent on drilling holes into her. "Its wrong when you use it to avoid sleep. I hear you sometimes you know?"

"Know what?" her heart was beating faster and she was sure he could hear it as well as she could.

"At first I thought it was me…only after a while I'd realize I was already awake and my mouth was closed so how could I be the one screaming? Then there was that one time… You know when don't you?" he had gotten closer and was only a few feet in front of her now, his gaze fierce.

"No," she said defiantly. But she did, it was one of her only memories she had of the school year so far.

The bathroom looked so pristine with its glossy white marble and silver accents. The only thing that marred the beauty of the room was a little figure, huddled next to the sink, and the little puddle of blood in front of her.

She was leaning in front of the sink, her forehead resting against the window as she breathed deeply. She was staring at her arms, her face showing the tortured feelings she would never voice. On her arms were small faded white lines and two, rather large, open wounds, they had stopped bleeding a few minutes and was now already repairing itself, one of the human body's many miracles.

Ron's hand on her wrist kept coming back to her. it had been earlier that day and they everyone waned to know why she was acting so left out.

"I'm just a bit tired," she told them, time after time again, but Ron had noticed something on her arm and was trying to push her sleeves up.

"Stop it Ronald!" she screeched.

"Whats that thing on your arm?" he asked her, worried. But she didnt noticed his worry, just the way her fear had spiked when he touched her

"My arm was hurting from writing a lot last night, its probably the trace of the healing ointment." Her lies had been smooth and effortless, and it hurt her to acknowledge that.

"It looked more like you had some cuts there, like the line on your neck," he just wouldn't let it drop.

"Ron! that's disgusting! why would i be cutting myslef?"

"I didn't mean it to sound like that! i just meant is someone hurting you?"

"No one can hurt me, what reason could they ever have?"

"But I saw cuts! Are you saying you did them?"

"I already told you that's disgusting," she said and flounced off. The word disgusting still on her mind.

Slowly, she stood up and picked up a silver knife laying in the sink. She staggered to the door on the left and closed the door before collapsing on her bed.

"I think you do," Draco said, "I know for a fact you were thinking it, right now even," he waited for her to reply.

"What do you want?" she finally asked. He blinked in surprise.

"Me? Nothing, at least nothing for me. But I do want you to stop lying to yourself and admit your not as perfect as everyone believes, that in fact, you're as screwed up as the rest of us."

"I'm not pretending to be anything!" she protested. He squinted at her long and hard before he smirked that oh so familiar smirk.

"Oh, of course not. Your just being strong, is that it?" Hermione jerked back, as if he had slapped her. "Struck a nerve, did I? I know what your doing, Hermione,"

"And how would you know anything?" she asked furiously.

"Cause no one is never alone, and neither are you," he said.

"Are you saying…" she said, shocked.

"That I know what its like to want to hurt yourself, to relieve moments that seem too horrible to be real memories? I guess you could say that maybe were not two peas in a pod but were alike, you and me," he looked at her, searching. The reason why, lost on her. At last, he nodded to her and stepped back a bit.

"Just remember what I said," he told her, she backed toward her room, not entirely sure what to say.

"Thank you?" she said.

"For what?" he countered. "Sweet dreams, Hermione,"

"Good night," she said, he nodded and retreated into his room.

Hermione stared at her window as the furious bullets of rain soothed her to a dreamless sleep.

A/N: well i hope you liked it.

i know my dialogue sucks and i'm really sorry.

tell me what you think! (that means please review =)

-A

PS: I'll be out of town and busy for a few days so my next update will be sometime next week.

11-19-08