A/N: I know, I know. I haven't posted since like… Saturday/Sunday, but school comes first and I've been super busy in English class since we began studying Shakespeare. This is my third time reading a Shakespearean play, and it still manages to confuse me with those poetic and often metaphorical lines.

Next week, I definitely won't be updating till… maybe Thursday or Friday since from Monday to Wednesday, I have several tests; math, physics, English… my only class which I don't have to write anything for is careers, and that's because I wrote the test today. I hate studying…

Enough about my life. I hope you guys like this chapter since it's chalk full of DRAMA!!!

On with Chapter FOURTEEN!!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, which totally sucks.

I ignored his quiet comment for the third time that night and continued to watch the movie. Chatting lightly to Edward. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that feeling so comfortable and being to friendly with him was wrong, but my feelings for him wouldn't allow me to stop.

Sometime late into the night - or was it the early morning? - We fell asleep side by side, but not touching, thank goodness, on the floor of his dorm room. It felt good to be so close to Edward, even if we weren't exactly in any physical contact.

That was the first night in a long time that I didn't have any nightmares.

Chapter 14: Dirty Little Secret

I woke up to see green.

Not what I usually saw first thing in the morning, but okay.

It took me a second to realize that the green was Edward, or more precisely, Edward's eyes. Staring at me. Me. As I slept. Right beside him. On the floor.

It took me all of two seconds to become suddenly self-conscious.

I blushed pink before bringing my hands to my eyes and rubbing them with my fists. Sun was pouring through the un-curtained window, slightly blinding me. When I was able to open my eyes fully and take in my surroundings, I noticed I was still in Edward's dorm room from my little movie night with Edward. My cheeks flooded with pink again when I remembered that we fell asleep side by side. This wouldn't have been awkward in the old days with Edward, but it sure was now.

But Edward didn't seem to notice. When I finally looked back to him, he simply smiled at me, his eyes shining with amusement at my probably kitten-like awakening.

"Good morning", he said softly, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. I suppressed the shiver that wanted to run down my spine at the contact. I was unable to stop the skin on my cheek from tingling though.

"Morning", I croaked back, my voice crackly and laced with sleep. You'd think it would be hoarse with the lack of use while I slept, but that wasn't so. I frequently talked in my sleep. It was a nightly occurrence for me and Renee used to tease me about it.

But that just made another thought come to me.

What did I say last night? Oh my God, did I let something slip? No, I couldn't have since Edward wouldn't have looked so calm when I woke up. Did I thrash around and scream through my nightmares like every other night?

I scanned any memories from my dreams and surprisingly, I didn't find anything… morbid. What had happened? Didn't I have my nightmare? How come I didn't remember waking up from it? Didn't Edward hear me?

But then I realized why I couldn't remember any of those things; it was because I didn't have any nightmares last night.

That was… strange and different. Ever since I had left Arizona, my nightmares had become more vivid and came much more frequently; every single night. It was a pattern that I had almost become used to over the past weeks of lost sleep.

Why all of the sudden, did the pattern break?

Was there something different from last night? Well, I did fall asleep in a different room beside a different person…

Did something about Edward's room make the bad dreams disappear? That kind of sounded stupid.

Edward's voice suddenly brought me out of my thoughts.

"Are you alright, Bella? You look sort of troubled." He looked at me with genuine concern in his green eyes. He was being sweeter to me than I probably deserved considering the way I had been treating him the past weeks. "Is something bothering you?"

I shook my head and scrambled to my feet. Edward got up too. I smoothed the wrinkled end of my shirt while keeping my eyes oddly fascinated with a loose thread from the seams. My cheeks were once again pink.

"Um…" I started, "I'm sorry for crashing here last night. I guess I was more tired than I thought. Still, I should have gone back to my own room. I'm sorry, especially if you didn't want me to stay and was only being polite by not waking me up and tell me to go back to my dorm…" I realized I was rambling and shut up.

I heard Edward give a little chuckle before I felt his cool, white hand reach under my chin and gently coax my face up to look at him. When I looked up, he had that amusement in his eyes again. So nice to know that he thought my embarrassment funny.

"It's fine, Bella", he laughed. "Don't be embarrassed."

I just blushed again. Damn these cheeks.

"Did you want to go out for breakfast?" he asked.

Umm… did I? Well, of course I did. This was Edward Cullen, my best friend/guy-I-might-have-feelings-for-all-over-again. Of course I wanted to have breakfast with him, more than anything. But…

Did I really have to explain the whole distance/avoiding Edward thing again?

Seeing my hesitation, Edward hastily added, "Only if you want to, of course. If you have other plans, then please don't cancel them because you feel obligated to me."

He sounded so vulnerable and afraid of rejection, I couldn't say no. It was a stupid and foolish decision, but Edward had always been so kind to me and I guess I kind of owed him for letting me crash at his place last night. It was only breakfast, it wasn't like we were going to run away together and become kindred spirits. It was only breakfast.

Just keep telling yourself that, Bells.

I simply shook my head at his words and said, "Don't worry about it Edward. I'd love to go to breakfast with you." Hmm, that made me sound too eager. Not a good thing when trying to avoid said person. But then again, I shouldn't have agreed to breakfast with him in the first place. I felt like my will power was crumbling more and more. It kept getting harder to stay away from him. He had a pull to him. He was the magnet and I was attracted.

Edward smiled brilliantly and told me to meet him by his car in half an hour.

I went back to my dorm room to clean up my sloppy self and change into proper breakfast diner attire, whatever that was.

To her word, Alice left me an outfit for the two days she wouldn't have been there to order me how to dress. I grabbed the clothes labeled "Saturday" (yeah, she was that controlling) and slipped into them, not really looking at the clothes until they were already on. It was a solid blue daphne blouse with a pretty lace tank top underneath, a pair of dark skinny jeans, and black boots. For once, Alice didn't try to dress me in something more "out there" as she put it.

I brushed my hair and teeth, washed my face, grabbed my purse, and threw on my pea coat before skipping out the door to meet Edward. Okay, I wasn't really skipping. That's just weird.

Edward was waiting for me, looking as handsome as ever, as he leant against the driver's side of his Volvo. When he saw me, he smiled breathtakingly, making my heart rate speed up. I tried my best to look indifferent as I approached him, but it got more and more difficult with every step. By the time I reached him, the corners of my mouth were twitching upward. Around Edward, I couldn't seem to find my self control anymore.

Like the gentleman he had always been, Edward opened the passenger door for me, closing it after I slipped in. He then climbed into the driver's seat to drive us to wherever we were going.

We sat in comfortable silence for the entire ride. For some weird reason, I felt perfectly at ease when I was with Edward. With anyone else I was all jumpy and paranoid, but with Edward, I felt comfortable and safe. In reality, I was the least safe around him.

Oh the irony.

Edward pulled into a small diner only 5 minutes away from campus. Odd how in my several weeks in Seattle I hadn't happened upon this cute little restaurant. I wondered if Edward came here often.

I soon got my answer. As soon as we entered the diner, the hostess's eyes lit up, glued on Edward. Yup. He had been there before and she was attracted to him. I could see the spark of familiarity in her eyes.

"Table for two, please", Edward said politely.

The hostess batted her eyelashes in what I guess was supposed to be a flirtatious sexy manner, but came more across like a weird muscle twitch. To me anyway.

What did Edward think?

I could feel the annoyance building up in me as we followed the hostess, her looking back every second to practically undress Edward with her eyes. It was disgusting. She was disgusting. I felt like suddenly jumping on her and ripping her hair out.

I knew where this rage came from. I had felt it before two years ago and I felt it now.

I was jealous. This could have only meant one thing. I wasn't completely over Edward yet. Fabulous.

I guess I always knew I would forever hold feelings for him, but after I had let most of these feelings go, I never knew upon seeing him again that I would begin to fall all over again. The resolve that took me years to build was crumbling slowly. And this was a very bad thing.

But as bad as the situation was, I couldn't bring myself to tear myself away from him. I knew that I needed to avoid him at all costs, but as I said before, it was getting more and more difficult to be apart from him.

I was so screwed.

The hostess sat us down at a booth table near the window. Trying to sound as seductive as possible, she told us, actually Edward, that our server would be with us right away. I couldn't deny the relief I felt when the waiter was a guy. The hostess probably purposely sent him over since a girl might've tried to steal Edward. I didn't miss the cut eye that aggravating hostess gave me as she walked away unsatisfied since Edward paid her absolutely no mind.

After placing our orders, Edward noticeably stiffened, his eyes narrowing.

"What is it?" I asked. I soon got my answer, but it didn't come from Edward.

"Bella?" I heard a deep husky voice say from behind me. I turned around to see Jacob Black looking down at me.

"Hey, Jacob." I said, giving him a friendly smile. I hadn't seen him around since that day he visited about a week and a half ago while I was at Charlie's for the holidays. He was a nice guy, a good buddy.

"Hey, Bella. How are you? Feeling better?" he asked. It warmed me a little to know that he remembered how melancholy I was the last time we spoke. I also didn't miss the little glance he gave to Edward, his eyes narrowing in the slightest when he recognized him.

It was sort of ironic how whenever we came across each other, Edward was always around and none of my other friends were.

"I've been great. Have you eaten yet?" I asked him.

"Nope. Haven't even ordered."

"Then do you want to eat with us?" I asked politely. Jacob really was a good guy and I enjoyed talking with him. But then I remembered how Edward didn't like him very much for whatever reason. He was, after all, the beginning of our holiday fight. Maybe I should have asked Edward first… "Do you mind, Edward?"

"No, not at all." He replied, his voice oddly tense, not looking away from Jacob. From the way they were staring at each other, it looked like they had some kind of staring contest going on. Neither one wanted to break the glaring thing they had going on between them first. Jeez. Men and their need to be macho. Testosterone, anyone?

I cleared my throat a bit, breaking both of them out of their contest.

"Um, why don't you sit down, Jacob. Do you have anyone with you or did you come here by yourself?" I asked.

Jacob slid into the bench seat beside me, making Edward's eyes narrow even more. Seriously, what the hell was his problem?!

"Nope, I'm not by myself." He turned around and waved for someone behind us to come over. In a second, a boy who looked maybe around sixteen or seventeen years old came over. "Bella, this is Seth Clearwater. He's my cousin, visiting from La Push. Do you mind if he eats with here too?"

"No, of course not."

Seth, who was also tall and Aboriginal, slid into the seat next to Edward. Edward politely shook his hand and looked at him like a normal human being should. Suuuure, be all chummy with him. Go ahead and reserve your freakish slits-for-eyes for Jacob.

The waiter come over and took both Jacob and Seth's orders before we started chatting. It was pretty much just me and Jacob talking or me and Edward. I didn't get much chance to speak one-on-one with Seth since that meant Jacob and Edward were left with each other, refusing to make more than the occasional polite comment to each other. It was quite childish, really. I hated the silent tension going on between them for absolutely no reason at all, so I took it upon myself to distract them from each other. Sometimes, I was such a saint.

"What do you plan to do after you graduate?" Jacob asked me.

"Um, I'm not entirely sure." I said, taking a sip of my orange juice. " Probably just become an English teacher or something. I also hope to write and publish a novel one day."

"That sounds cool. I'm sure you'll get several novels published, Bells. You're a great writer."

"You haven't even read my work."

"Yeah, well, I'm still positive you're awesome."

"Thanks. What about you? What do you plan to do once you graduate?"

"I want to open my own auto shop. I love cars. Fixing them, making them, driving them. If it has to do with a car, I'm in." he said, his dark eyes sparkling as if he were talking about some long lost treasure he just found.

"Wow, you're really into cars." I said.

"Yeah. I can really do a good check under the hood." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. I just laughed in response and swatted his chest.

Edward's head snapped away from his conversation with Seth and looked to me and Jacob. I immediately felt guilty. Thinking of our argument. It pained to know that what Edward had said was true. I hadn't known Jacob for nearly as long as I had known Edward, and yet I was being a lot more carefree and friendly with him. To the point of suggestive teasing! I knew Edward must have been feeling betrayed in a way, and with good reason. But the reason I was being so much less aloof with Jake was because I wasn't trying to protect him. At least not in the way I tried to protect Edward.

I knew that my current casual friendship with Jake wouldn't go anywhere, so I didn't need to feel the need to keep him safe. If I was as carefree with Edward, I was almost certain it would progress. At least it would on my side, and that was a very dangerous thing given the present circumstances.

We finally left the diner an hour and a half later. The guys split the bill, not letting me pay a single cent, no matter how much I argued and pouted. Once again, what was with men and their need to be macho? Why couldn't they at least let me pay my share?

Edward and I separated ways with Jacob and Seth in the parking lot, going to our separate cars. I noticed that once away from them, Edward was still stiff and his eyes hard.

"What's wrong?" I asked once we were in the car.

"Nothing." He answered. His voice was too cold, it wasn't right.

"Nothing my ass," I said, rolling my eyes, "Tell me."

He was silent.

"Tell me, Edward." I didn't know why I cared so much. It was better if he wouldn't tell me. It meant he didn't trust me enough, which was good. But I still wanted to know.

"Bella, why are you so friendly and warm towards Jacob, but you are so guarded when with me?" he asked, an edge to his voice.

Not this again.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said stubbornly.

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about."

"No I don't." I knew I was being immature, but it was the only way. Either be mean to him or spill the truth. I knew which one I would choose.

"Bella…" he said warningly as he turned into the campus parking lot. I stupidly didn't take his warning.

"Why does it even matter to you?"

His hands tightened on the steering wheel as he accelerated, making the tires screech and causing me to jerk forward when the car came to an abrupt stop in a parking space.

"Damn it, Bella!" he said exasperated as he ran a hand through his disheveled bronze hair. "What the hell am I doing wrong? I'm trying to be your friend but you keep pushing me away. You always look so hesitant to talk to me or to do something with me. After Christmas you practically ignored me!"

"I hung out with you yesterday and today, didn't I?" I said, equally angry, although I didn't really have a right to my anger. He was right. It was me who was being unfair.

"You didn't want to though, I could tell. Again, you were hesitant. Why? What am I doing to you that is so horrible that you don't want to spend time with me? Are you still mad about two years ago?"

"No."

"Then what is it? What am I doing?!"

Being perfect, being kind, being comforting. Basically making me fall in love with you all over again.

But I couldn't tell him that.

"I'm not doing this again." I said angrily, getting out of the car and striding towards the dorms.

I heard Edward get out of his car and follow me, running to catch up. I ignored him and kept walking. Across the lot, into the building, and into the elevator. Once inside the elevator, he grabbed my arm, keeping a firm grip.

"Let go, Edward." I hissed.

"No, not until you tell me what's wrong."

"No."

"Why not? I'm your friend, Bella."

The elevator doors opened to my floor. I stepped out, Edward, who as till gripping my arm, followed. I turned around to face him. His eyes were determined and full of frustration, anger, and genuine concern. He was worried about me, but not as worried as I was about him.

There was no other choice. He wasn't backing down. I had already gone too far with this friend thing. He had gotten too attached and… so had I.

It was now or never. Cut and dry.

"I think it's better if we're not friends." I said, putting as much venom as I could into my voice. My heart though, was crying out in protest. I desperately wanted to take the words back, but I couldn't let myself do it. This needed to be done.

His face went from angry to shocked to hurt in a matter of less than a second. It broke my heart knowing I hurt him, but it was for his own good.

"Is that want you really want?" he asked, his vice quiet. A contrast to it's cold hard tone of a minute ago.

"Yes."

He grimaced before releasing my arm and turning around, walking back into the elevator and closing the doors.

Just like that, we weren't friends anymore.

I felt the tears sting my eyes as I turned around and quickly walked to my dorm room. Although it hurt me so much to do that to him, I wasn't going to take it back. He didn't understand. He would have done the same to me if he were in my spot I was sure.

I rushed into my room, closing but not locking the door. I practically threw my purse and coat onto a chair. I sat down on the couch and put my face in my hands, my elbows resting on my knees. I hated life right then and there. I wanted Edward to hug me and to laugh with me. I wanted to go over and apologize, to be friends again. But it was out of the option.

Call me stupid or stubborn, I didn't care. I called myself smart.

But is the smart choice always the right choice?

I peeked through my fingers to see the little light on the phone flashing, signaling a message. Good. I needed a distraction. I walked over and pressed the play button. Apparently I had two messages waiting.

The first message was just Alice and Rose, telling me that they were having a great time with the guys and that they missed me. Alice told me that I had better been wearing the clothes she left for me or she'd be very angry when they got back. The corners of my mouth twitched at that.

The next message though not nearly as light hearted.

"Hello, Isabella Swan. This is Officer George Carlton of the Phoenix Police force and investigators working on the investigation of the homicide of your mother, Renee Swan." (Renee never got married to Phil, so her last name can't be Dwyer. So, I decided to have made her keep her married name despite being divorced. Some women do keep the last name of their ex-husbands for convenience, just changing the 'Mrs.' to a 'Ms')

My heart stopped. Had they found anything? What happened so that they would call me at school?

"We're contacting you to let you know about the recent advancements of the investigation, since your father, Chief Swan, told us that you, as a victim, are entitled to some information . The suspect, Liam Griffiths, has been rendered innocent for now, having no proof other than an anonymous caller tipping us off. He is no longer being questioned for now. I'm afraid that is all I am allowed to release to you at the present time. I am aware that you have no recollection of the incident, but if you can think of anyone who would have a motive for doing this, please contact us. Thank you for your time and I will contact you right away if another suspect is found and you are needed for confirmation. Perhaps seeing whoever did this again could bring back your memory. Thank you again." (Sorry if this doesn't seem like a real police guy call. I have no idea on how to do this)

I stood there in silence, my eyes frozen on the phone. They let Liam Griffiths go? This brought on both relief and fear. Relief since an innocent man was no longer being blamed for what happened. Fear since this only mean Phil wasn't in the clear anymore, therefore he was more dangerous than ever. He had to make sure I would say nothing.

"Bella?" I froze at the sound of that velvety voice.

I slowly turned around and saw Edward standing at my doorway, his eyes wide with shock as they stared at the phone. Oh no.

He heard the message. He heard everything.

"W-what are you doing here?" I whispered.

His eyes snapped to me, as if brought out of a daze. "I came here to apologize and talk to you. You left the door unlocked and I heard…" his eyes slowly turned back to the phone. Then, something flashed across his face. As if he suddenly remembered something.

"Bella? Your mother was… murdered?" he asked quietly.

I could only nod. No point in hiding it now. He had heard it confirmed from Officer George Carlton.

"And you were there, but you don't remember?"

I looked away from his eyes as I nodded again. When I looked back he gave me a knowing look. I shouldn't had looked away. It only confirmed the lie.

But that wasn't the worst part…

Edward paused as if in indecision. He finally said very gently, "Did… did Phil kill Renee?"

H-how did he… how did he know?! How did he know it was Phil?! When did I tell him this? When could he have…

"According to Phil, I'm worthless! I'm stupid and worthless! And he made sure to not only tell me that, but to show me every single day until he decided to 'off' my mother!"

Oh God. My slip up. Because of my slip up he knew. He knew.

Edward knew it was Phil. He also knew I didn't lose my memory. He knew I remembered.

Crap.

Edward took my silence and completely panicked look as confirmation. He took a step forward into the room. I took one back. I was screwed. I messed up. And now Edward knew. It was only a matter of time until Phil figured out that someone besides myself knew it was him.

It was only a matter of time.

Edward Cullen had pretty much figured out my secret. Was he going to tell the police. God, no!

But then another thought came to me and I prayed to God he wouldn't ask.

"Why did you tell the police you lost your memory?"

God hates me.

A/N: Hit or Miss?

Hope it was worth the 5-day wait. I'll probably update again sometime this weekend depending on how busy I am studying for the many tests I have next week. So if I'm absent all of next week, do not be alarmed. I am only sitting at my desk, not on the computer, but buried in my school books. Damn school.

So, my lovelies, REVIEW!!!!!!!!! REVIEWS are LOVE!!!

Peace out.