A/N: I love this pairing. -contented sigh- (Lolwhat I like a logical and semi popular pairing?) I don't love this chapter though. Dx I don't even really like it.

Prompt # 3: Something that Lasts
Summary: "It was so loud in his head and he wished desperately that Lenalee was with him."
Spoilers: Spoilers for episode 88-89(ish?) in the anime.
Rating: PG

Ever since the ark, when Road had awakened the darker side of Lavi, he could feel like living in the recesses of his mind, almost biding it's time until Lavi was weak enough to give up control again. It scared him, having this thing waiting in the wings. Sometimes, in the moments between sleeping and waking, it would talk, tell Lavi just what it thought about whatever it was it Lavi had done wrong. Mostly, it was about a certain female exorcist.

It could see the way Lavi reacted to Lenalee. The way his nonexistent heart swelled and beat faster, how his pulse was louder than ever in his ears.

And the darker side of him laughed. Lavi hated how it was there in the darker parts of him, making him feel so ashamed. It would remind him that even if Lenalee wasn't so in love with Allen, then it wasn't like she really knew him. She knew Lavi, a personality, a name, a fallacy, a facade. The Bookman side of him was the real side, it told him, the side that had been more than willing to let Lenalee sob out the facade's name, while their body punched Allen. This was the side that wouldn't die off when the 49th name was destroyed. "Lavi" wasn't somebody that lasted or mattered.

Bookmen do not feel for those that they record, they do not interfere more than necessary, and above all they do not become attached. Can't you do that, Lavi?

His darker side told in a singsong voice, one night, reminding Lavi what he already knew. As the 49th name, he knew that he was a part of Bookman, and he was eventually going to be absorbed back into the mass of "dead" personalities. In the meantime he shouldn't be thinking of Lenalee the way he did.

He hated it. He hated himself, he hated his other side that just wouldn't leave him alone, and the hatred filled his head so noisily that he found himself wishing Lenalee was with him, because it only when she was around that his head was truly quiet.

His darker companion laughed at those sorts of thoughts. I'm only quiet because I'm enjoying the show. You're such a mess around her!

Lavi was getting weaker, and the Bookman part of him was getting stronger. Lavi knew it was only a matter of time before he was deleted, and that thought scared him the most. It would be worse than if an Akuma or Noah killed him, because the body that Lenalee associated with "Lavi" would still be around, but Lavi wouldn't be there anymore, and she wouldn't know it. It killed him to think that he could disappear and she wouldn't even notice. He was dispensable and it hurt.

One mission, Lenalee pulled him aside from the group, and smiled at him. The heart Lavi didn't have hammered loudly in his chest.

"Um, Lavi. I'm worried about you," Lenalee began, pulling on the edges of her short hair. Lavi, his keen eyes staring at Lenalee like they did most of the time, noticed her anxiety and nervousness. She was scared of something. "You seem...quieter than normal. And, more sad." She continued.

He grinned at her. "I'm fine, Lenalee. You're such a worrywart."

She frowned, and Lavi hated himself. She shouldn't be frowning and worrying about him. "You're lying." Lenalee accused him. Then she opened her mouth a few times, struggling for words. "I've been wanting to talk to you for ages, but Bookman keeps you so busy now. Lavi..."

He said something, but he already couldn't remember it at all, or even what his name was right now, because Lenalee was suddenly kissing him. Her lips were on his, and they were insistent. He got the feeling that this was something Lenalee had been thinking about for a while, the way he had been thinking about Lenalee since he first arrived at the Order.

"Lavi," She finally pulled her lips away, and whispered in his ear. "Lavi..."

That was his name. He was Lavi, and Lavi was suddenly in control of his mind in a way he hadn't been since before the ark. He leaned in and kissed Lenalee again, and using the strength she gave him, he filled his head with as much light as he could.

The darker side of him swore loudly, and then again, quieter, and it disappeared.

His head was quiet again, as only Lenalee could make it.

A/N: Uh...that was confusing. Sowwy. Leave a review if you didn't understand. Dx Well, leave me a review if you understood it, too! Reviewers get cookies. ;)