Prompt # 14: Fifteen
Summary: "It had been fifteen years since he last kissed her, but the memory of it was still enough to get him through the worst of anything."
Spoilers: Nope.
Rating: PG
Warning: Character death.
Disclaimer: Lol, I've been forgetting these. xD I OWN NOTHING! D: Also, that last bit is based on some book I read once, that I cannot for the life of me remember the title of. Dx So, um, yeah.
He'd only kissed her once.
It hadn't mattered for those brief seconds that Miranda was so much older than Lavi, that Lavi wasn't real anyway, that they were in the middle of a war.
It had just been a few seconds in the hallways at night, caused by the fact they neither of them could sleep. One quick kiss, a moment of weakness, because at night when Miranda was so tired that her eyes could barely stay open, and Lavi walked in a daze, feeling like a ghost, the two of them hardly knew what they were doing.
So, they kissed. And Lavi was able to fall asleep after he'd finally wandered back into his room, in a cheerful haze. For the first time in years, he didn't have a nightmare that night. When he woke Lavi knew he should feel awful about it, but he didn't. Kissing Miranda had somehow been so sweet, that the memory of it carried him through the day.
The thought of it brought him through the akuma battles, through Bookman's death, through his inevitable ascent to the role of Bookman. He was forced to leave the Order, and to go back to witnessing and recording all of the inhumane acts that humanity was capable of.
Miranda created his heart, and he left it with her, but he took with him the thoughts of their kiss. It was a warm, well kept secret, that stayed inside of him, fuzzy and heartbreaking at the same time. When things were horrible, he could tell himself remind himself of the kiss, and tell himself that if he ever needed to, he could go and kiss Miranda again. It encouraged him like nothing else did.
He knew that she had probably moved on, that he should have moved on, that it had been years, that the Order was sure to have moved by now. As a Bookman, he was aware of all of these facts, but it didn't matter.
Then, fifteen years later, he ended up recording in an area that was infested by akuma, which of course meant exorcists. Lavi hoped desperately that Miranda would come, but it was Lenalee who finally showed up.
The two of them started talking. Lavi, having already decided that he had failed as a Bookman and might as well admit it, asked how Miranda was doing.
Lenalee got abruptly quiet. Lavi, so good at reading emotions, felt a sudden ache where his heart would've been, if he had one. After the silence ended, Lenalee explained that Miranda had been killed by a Noah over a year ago.
Miranda was dead. She'd been dead for a long time. He would never kiss her again. There would never be another perfect few seconds. Lavi felt like he was hurting all over, and yet was strangely numb at the same time. His encouragement was gone. His warm light was gone. His Miranda was gone. Forever.
At first he wasn't sure what to think. The months after that were nothing, and each moment passed slowly like each second was at least a day.
And then Lavi came to a decision. There was nothing he could do at the moment, but once he died... If he made it to heaven, (when he did, he would get there for Miranda, who was certainly there) first he would say hello to Bookman, and apologize to him for being such an awful apprentice. Then, he was talk to Allen and Komui, and the rest of the Order members that he knew to be dead. Finally, he would find Miranda, and he would kiss her.
Then he would know for sure that somehow he'd made it to heaven.