Chapter Five

A CHOICE

Edward's Point of View

It saddened me to think of how little I paid attention to Bella when Frankie was around. That's why I didn't sit with my family at lunch. I didn't want Frankie to hear my thoughts of her, to hear me thinking that perhaps Frankie might feel the same way.

When she let her barrier down, I could glimpse Frankie's true feelings, and hope that there might be a space in her life for me. I supposed she barely thought of me. Wasn't she, after all, only sat with us because she was instructed to do so? Wasn't the only reason she spoke to us all in the first place because she was Bella's friend?

Bella. I never thought I could ever possibly love anyone as much as I loved Bella. The love for her had never lessened, but now I had found a greater love in Frankie, and she didn't even return it like I knew Bella did.

That's how I ended up sitting in my car at lunchtimes, watching the pupils go in and out of the school, scuttling about, worried only about their lives and their friends, never having to think for a minute about true love.

I'm alone for hundreds of years, and suddenly two girls have arrived that I adore?

It's wrong for a monster like myself to even have a choice between two amazing young women like Bella and Frankie. They should go for people like Mike, people of their own kind. Even Frankie, the part-vampire, could still blush and sleep and eat like the others. She could rush into school and tell everyone about her dreams if she wanted to, because she could dream. And I could not.

The melody I was playing on the piano had turned into a depressing mash of angry chords without my realising it. I stopped playing and sat back on my piano stool, still thinking.

Would Frankie be awake?

Would she be thinking of me?

I knew she could go without sleep, she'd told me as much. Sleep to her was like breathing to me; just a habit, something she liked doing to pass the time.

I could go and see her. Just for a bit.

Even if she was asleep, I could sit beside her and watch her dreaming. Read her mind and for the first time in years, I could dream too.

Surely that would be a breach of privacy, something perverted. To watch someone else's dreams would be like reading someone else's diary.

Still, you could say the same about reading minds, couldn't you?

I began to play a lullaby I'd composed for Bella. It was sweet, but somehow it just didn't work for Frankie. It didn't even begin to explain Frankie, how complicated my feelings for her were.

I tried out a few complex melodies, and I could hear Esme's delight as she listened to the piano.

What's wrong, Edward?

I could see why she was concerned. The melodies were jarring, like my feelings. It was as if my left hand was Frankie and my right hand was Bella, and instead of going in harmony, they were arguing.

Perhaps I would go and see Bella, and watch her dream, even though I could never read her mind. She was still beautiful to me, her odd face and her enormous brown eyes.

Of course, she would be asleep, and her eyes would be closed.

But Frankie.

Frankie might be awake.

I was filled with possibility, and excitement at the prospect of seeing Frankie again. She was like my oxygen, and I needed her just to live. I remembered, sadly, how Bella made me feel like that. Now I took her for granted.

Frankie was awake. I could hear her thoughts a mile away. She wasn't thinking of me. She was thinking of Bella.

Of course she was thinking of Bella, her best friend since moving to Forks. Of course she was thinking about others, selflessly. That was what I had admired about Bella, her selflessness unlike any other human's. Now I was obsessing over Frankie. I felt disgusted with myself as I clambered through her window, and watched her brush her hair in her mirror.

From where I crouched in the window pane, she was perfect. Every inch of her. Her hair was copper-coloured, not quite flame-red but almost. Her eyes were enormous and blue, her lips curled up in a constant careless smile. I smiled too.

Frankie's Point of View

I could feel something moving, but I ignored it. Possibly a cat outside, or the wind shifting a few leaves outside my window. Nothing to worry about.

I carried on brushing my hair, thinking about Edward and Bella. Poor Bella. I bet the vampires never even touched her or hugged her. The girl who was loved so much never saw any of it.

Suddenly, I felt ice-cold hands slip around my waist.

"Boo," Edward whispered in my ear.

I would have jumped, but I was almost expecting it. Still, I jumped off of my stool, concealing my pleasure that he'd wrapped his arms around my waist. Mine.

"Edward!" I hissed. "What're you doing here?"

I saw him deliberate, unsure of what to tell me, even though he knew I could read his mind.

I needed to watch you sleep? What kind of answer is that? Can't you remembered when that's why you sat in Bella's room night after night, Edward? Think. I needed a friend. A conversation. No. Too pathetic.

"I think I need those lessons in how to close off my mind," Edward gave his crooked grin, bedazzling me in the moonlight.

"Oh," I said, "Well, OK. But keep your voice down, you'll wake my family,"

"Right," Edward grinned, "Your human family,"

Say something clever, Edward. I heard him think to himself, Look at her. She's amazing. Fight for her, Edward. Fight for her.

"I don't really know where to start," I began, distracted by his flattering thoughts.

You've got Bella already, Edward. You shouldn't be here, you know that. Even if she is even more perfect than Bella, already part-vampire and unbreakable…

"Well, start where you started," Edward flopped onto my bed.

"I started by thinking of…nothing," I sat beside him. "Close your eyes and think of nothing, Edward,"

"Alright," Edward closed his eyes, smirking to himself.

Go back to Bella, Edward. What will the others say? Will Alice tell her? What would happen if she did? What would I do without Bella?

"You're not doing it right, Edward!" I said, exasperated by his blatant guilt, "I said think of nothing!"

This time, Edward concentrated, and I couldn't read his mind, because he wasn't thinking of anything.

"OK." I said. "Now you do that, but… like… think at the same time,"

Edward shot me a look that told me I wasn't making any sense, but then he smiled.

"I think I get it," he closed his eyes, "Try and read me now,"

I couldn't.

"Close your eyes, and try really, really hard to read my mind," he instructed me.

"Edward, I don't think that's really –"

"Just do it. For me?"

I closed my eyes obediently, and listened intently.

"I don't hear any -"

That's when I felt Edward's lips touch mine.