~~Fair Game~~

Kanda found that he had been stuffed into a tiny, freezing metal cell in the middle of God knows where awaiting a trial. And, that might not have seemed too incredibly insane if there weren't elves and the possibility of being killed for pulling Santa's beard hanging around the event. In actuality, Kanda wasn't all that sure of anything. All he knew was that he was stuffed in a little metal dog-crate inside of a walk-in freezer that had far too many brightly colored bows hanging about.

And he didn't have any warm clothes with him.

At last there was an interruption to the awful silence. However, Kanda might have been willing to give anything for a different kind of interruption. He peered out of the dog crate with edginess as ten elves dragged in two kicking and screaming characters that he really wished weren't there.

"Put us down you freaks!!! Get your hands off of me! Dero! Do something!!!"

"Devit!!!" Jasdero was positively bawling as he and his brother were shoved into two completely different crates, one on either side of Kanda.

"Oh dear God…"

"Come back here you midgets!!! I swear that I'll shoot all of you in the face!"

"Wahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Deviiiiii!!!!" Jasdero was soon taking to pounding his head against the plastic end of the carrier, nearly knocking Kanda over.

"Hey! WOULD YOU QUIT THAT?!!?"

"Oh God dammit!" cursed Devit as the elves disappeared. "It's bad enough we're here, but now I'm stuck with an exorcist too! SOMEBODY KILL ME!!!"

"Noooooooooooooo!" Jasdero went about his mindless wailing with more impact than before.

"I said quit!" Kanda sighed. He could tell already that he was going to have to spend an eternity with the two most obnoxious Noah he'd ever known.

"Shut up faggot!" Devit folded himself up tightly and growled with dissatisfaction. "What're you in for?"

"... I almost killed that man in red. You?"

"Ugh! Don't even get me started!" Kanda looked through the little holes in the side of his prison cell where he saw Devit's hand wave around with a flourish even in the cramped little space he had. "Dero and I were just minding our own business when we saw there were a ton of deer on the roof of the Earl's house. So, naturally, we thought that it would be nice to have some extra meat tomorrow and we shot. But, I mean, come on! How were we supposed to know they were reindeer! They were on our property, on our house, and that makes them fair game!"

Kanda made a very distinct "WTF" face. "Did you even think that maybe seeing a bunch of deer on your roof isn't normal and maybe you shouldn't be shooting at them?!"

"It was an easy mistake!"

"EASY?! How many deer do you know that can even GET on the roof of a mansion?!"

"… Shut up fag."

"DEVIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!" Jasdero sobbed.

"It's going to be fine Dero. Settle down!" The darker haired boy sighed and leaned back. "This blows. They confiscated our guns. You?"

"They took Mugen."

"Well damn. Hm… We've got to get out of here."

Kanda scoffed at him. "And you have a plan?"

"Shut up. I'm working on it." He hummed monotonously for a moment in an otherwise silent room. "Hey, Dero, tip the fag over."

"WHAT?!"

"Ok!!!" And just like that, Kanda found he was being tortured by the repeated onslaught of getting rammed in the side.

"What the hell is this for?!"

"Oh just bear with it." And, as if a sign from the heavens, the crate Yu was trapped in rolled over and the metal door was broken off. The samurai was very quick to crawl out and stretch out his legs. "Great! Now, LET US OUT!!!"

He turned around and faced the two pathetic Noah. It was so very tempting to just leave them there, run, and never have a second thought about it. And, God knows he'd never lose a wink of sleep. But, on the other hand, they seemed to have a great deal more escape techniques than he did, and should he be attacked by more elves, it would be nice to have something to throw at them to slow down the assault. He gave in and opened up both of their crates.

They leapt out in a very cartoony fashion, arms waving up in the air as if they'd been stuck in there five weeks more than they had (which would have been about five weeks and two minutes).

"So, where do we go now?" Kanda looked around. As the door was locked, it didn't seem like they'd be getting a whole lot farther.

Devit pounded on the exit as if it would open just because he asked it to. "Hm, this might be tricky."

Jasdero spun around uselessly as he looked up at the ceiling. Kanda decided to help with the progress best he knew how.

"You aren't kicking it hard enough!" He gave the strongest side kick he could to the stubborn door. A shockwave of pain crawled up his leg and made him yelp loudly.

"You were saying, fag?"

"I'd like to see you do better!"

"Fine then! Move aside!" Devit backed up all the way to the other side of the room, giving his attack a running start. "HYAAAAA!!" As his foot made contact with the completely solid object, his reaction was not too far from Kanda's. "SON OF A BITCH!!!" Tears leaked from his eyes as he tried to hold back even louder screams.

"Devit!" Jasdero was playfully calling for his brother.

"Not now Dero! We're trying to get out!"

"No! Look!" He pointed up at an air duct that was located conveniently in the room. The opening was on the ceiling, and provided a possible escape route.

"Great job bro!" The dark haired Noah ran and jumped up on Jasdero's shoulders, and then made a wave for Kanda to follow suit. Reluctantly, the exorcist obliged. He punched in the opening and crawled through. Though a tight squeeze, he was plenty capable of turning around, pulling up Devit, and then waiting for the blonde one to follow. "Now, we need to pick a way to go…"

Yu looked both in front of and behind himself. "They both look the same."

"That way!!!" Jasdero grinned broadly and pointed straight ahead.

Devit and Kanda looked at the overly decisive teammate with a tiny sweat drop of idiocy trickling down their foreheads. But, alas, as they had no better idea, they shrugged and went in the direction the likely brain-dead Noah had indicated. After all, it was better than going backwards.

As they inched on, the three of them came across an opening in the metal duct that looked down on what seemed to be a factory. Devit and Jasdero shoved Kanda out of the way to get a better look.

Hundreds of feet below, countless of people were emptily placing the heads on dolls and wheels on toy cars and various other things of the nature that were passed along endless streams of conveyor belts. The entire area was painted lifeless and gray; likely the only not-holiday-like place in the entire prison. Behind them paced a great deal of whip toting elves that bore snide smiles.

"Woah," Devit awed. "It's, like, Christmas of the Living Dead down there."

"Oooooo!!" Jasdero happily imitated his favorite zombie noises. Kanda scowled and continued looking upon the scene below from what little space he had been given.

But, of course they couldn't just escape without having to get in more trouble first. No. Not happening. Because, what kind of an adventure would that be?

One of the many guarding elves happened to look up in the direction of the air duct where he caught sight of a very annoying little light. In turn, he called for many of his peers to look as well. Soon enough, the entire prison was staring up at the three hiding escapees.

Devit was trying to figure out what had happened when he noticed that Jasdero hadn't turned off his head light. "OH SHIT!" He grabbed the light off of his brother's head as Kanda looked like he would have well liked to kill the both of them. It was, however, far too late. The elves shot a few rockets up at them, breaking the path and sending the exorcist and Noah tumbling from the air screaming.