Sorry this took so long to come out! I've been spending the past few days with family down-state, so I couldn't get to my documents. Please enjoy the last part of the Great Bah-Humbug! (I kinda got lazy near the end, I'm sure you can tell.)

*'The Three Phantoms'*

They three completely confused and dazed captives rubbed their heads wearily as they stared into the barrels of decorated guns.

"… Oh… shit…" Devit was sweating. He had landed, somewhat fortunately, on top of his twin. However, the impact had jarred the poor blond boy's head in the wrong direction and he was out cold. A tiny trickle of unconscious drool had absorbed into Devit's coat.

"No duh," Kanda retorted as he looked at one of the angry elves so closely that his eyes crossed.

The ground rumbled violently. The little elves were so startled by the all-too-familiar sound that they bumbled around stupidly to get out of the path of the monsters. Kanda and Devit (and not really Jasdero) stared up blankly and with nervousness into the eyes of three horrible giants. The shadows of unseen demons were cast over the trio, chilling them deep in their spines. They were terrified. Traumatized. Scarred for life.

And totally disappointed.

The alleged giants turned out to be three floating, see-through elves who were overweight and wearing the cheap nametags that say "Hello! My name is" and then you write your name on the line under those words.

Truly, they had wished there was something worth-while to fear.

"Are you kidding me?!" Devit was actually brave enough to stand up and flail his arms around in protest. "What the hell are you freaks supposed to be?!"

"We are the three ghosts of Christmas~! OOOOOO~!" They all spoke in unison and attempted to amp up their Scare-Factor.

"… Right…" The samurai was now about as frightened of the three dead buffoons as he would be a small rabbit. That is, if Lavi wasn't involved. If the red-head was anywhere near said rabbit, it would have been cause for concern. But, as that was not the case, the ghosts were clearly not scary at all.

"Oh, come on! Aren't you even a little scared?!"

"No."

One flew next to Kanda's right ear. On his nametag was "Past". "We're all dead! That has to count for something!"

"Look moron, I deal with Akuma all the time. Dead things are NOT scary." He ducked under the ghost and put his interest towards poking Jasdero with the toe of his shoe.

"Oh! COME ON!!" The ghost labeled "Present" floated next to Devit. The dark-haired Noah twin was staring at his brother with fixed attention. "BOO! Look! I'm TERRIFYING!!!"

"Move out of the way moron, you're blocking my view." Devit swatted the phantom away with his hand, though it did no more than pass through without obstacle. "Is he going to be all right?"

Kanda coughed and shrugged, continuing to entertain himself by kicking Jasdero's stomach.

For a second, Devit turned around and faced the last of the apparitions, who was wearing a nametag that greatly bamboozled the boy. "I think you spelled your name wrong."

"Hey twit, I think I KNOW how to spell my own damned name!" His face got twisted up in irritation.

"Hey, I'm no genius..."

"Clearly," Kanda interrupted with a whisper. Devit did not notice, or if he did, he did not care.

"… but I don't think you spell future with a 'ph' at the beginning."

"Oh shut up! Present and Past both start with the same letter! I didn't want to be left out! 'F's just aren't cool anymore!"

Nobody commented on that, though the spirit was awarded by two sideways glances filled with confusion and lack of care. Devit grabbed up his brother and the trio who were being badgered the entire way with unsatisfied ghosts, went in search of two firearms and a katana.

After a good three or four hours of enduring endless and obnoxious chat from the floating pests behind them while having to check every room in every hall of every wing or every tower of every section of the jail the three prisoners were getting ticked. Even the usually light-hearted and joyful Jasdero was attempting to clog his ears with two bandaged fingers.

However, it was Yu to break first. "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!!" And, without warning, he took off down the corridor at top speed, narrowly dodging the wreaths that had been knocked to the floor by excited elves. Devit and Dero tried their very hardest to chase after, but fell over one-another's feet.

Kanda rushed into a janitor's closet and shut the door with such force that he could feel the concrete under his feet shutter. He sank to the ground, back pressed firmly against the exit. His chest ached and he looked wide-eyes into the darkness he had placed himself in.

"Oh thank God!" he thought to himself. His hands fumbled at his side, searching for the blade that was not there. "Dammit! I really wish I could kill those freaks!" His head banged against the door with force; though after the night he'd had, there was no way something so insignificant would give him a headache.

And then, like a message from God himself, a box fell right on his cranium. That seemed plenty capable of causing pain. "Son of a—"

Out of that box tumbled a sword and two crude firearms. It was lucky for the samurai that he was well-concealed in the closet, for the squeal that came out of his mouth might have been used as blackmail for the rest of his life.

Kanda tore right out of the closet when he collected himself, tossing the guns in the general direction of Jasdevi, and fleeing blindly to the Launch Bay, the twins on his heels, and very confused.

And so, the three tortured, insane, and mentally scarred boys hijacked a spare sleigh, flew home, and that was that. The end. Sort of…

"We never speak of this again, understood?!" Devit was making it VERY clear that Kanda was not to tell anybody of the event. Many hand gestures had come from both directions.

"No freaking duh." He jumped, sailing down from the sky and landing very gracefully right outside of the HQ. He walked in and pretended everything was completely normal.

He had, however, completely forgotten that there was a party.

Completely shocked by the appearance of the resident scrooge, every face in the Order was directed right at Yu, who was having just a hard enough time trying to get back to his room without drawing questions. On his way up the stairs, he was unfortunate enough to look up and see the terrifying face of an all-too-familiar elf that held a grudge. The gruff man flashed an "I'm-watching-you" sign, and Kanda lost his will to be in solitude.

"Hey Kanda!" A wonderful excuse managed to materialize. Allen walked up next to the stairs and shouted up to the stressed and bemused samurai exorcist. "Merry Christmas!"

Mumbles of things around the basic line of "Holy Shit! He did NOT just say hat to Kanda, did he?!" Gasp.

"Yeah… whatever." And there Kanda sat on the stairs, right there for the rest of the party.

And not one person was thrown out of a window that night.

The End

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! Next project- a far more serious DGM fanfiction where I'll try to really show off how well I can write. Merry Belated Christmas and a Happy New Year! ;P