Yeah, yeah, I haven't updated in a while. Yeah, yeah, I don't own Harry Potter or Mean Girls. Yeah, yeah, on with the story.
It was the morning of the first official school day, and Hermione was in the Great Hall, eating breakfast with Ginny, Harry, and Ron. A few minutes after Hermione had spread her favorite blackberry jelly on her toast, she was Approached. Being Approached meant that Lavender Brown, Pansy Parkinson, and Cho Chang were about to talk to you with positive notes. They came up right as Hermione had stuffed her mouth, her hunger taking over her. Lavender tried to hide her disgust, but it was evident. Lavender looked at the other girls pleading to give Hermione a chance.
Pansy said rudely, "Give us your undivided attention Granger."
Hermione looked outraged, but Ginny stomped her foot. Hermione hurriedly swallowed and gave her attention.
"Yes?" she bit out.
"Well, Hermione. The three of us have contempted you, and we've decided to give you a chance."
Hermione looked confused, then realization dawned. "Oh! You mean, contemplated?"
The three looked confused and shared a look. Hermione mumbled a little 'Never mind.'
Lavender went on, "Of course, you're going to need a complete makeover and you'll need to know the rules, and behavior."
Cho continued, " Which calls for a Girl's Night. Tonight. At the Head Dorms. We'll be coming around seven."
It seemed to be the end of the discussion. But Hermione had objections, "Tonight's a school night! I absolutely refuse!"
Pansy narrowed her eyes. "We're coming. You're enjoying. Deal with it."
The three left with their heads held high and acting like they were royalty. Hermione groaned. She couldn't believe her bad luck. Tonight's going to be a disaster, the soon-to-be-popular thought.
Ginny, on the other hand, couldn't believe Hermione's good luck. She had thought Hermione was doomed since last night, but this was perfect! She and Hermione had loads of planning to do for their first sabotage.
As Ginny spoke enthusiastically to a depressed Hermione, Ron stared at the three girls that had recently just left the immediate area and Harry continued to shovel food into his mouth like there was no tomorrow.
Throughout classes, Ginny and Hermione used their bonds to speak to each other and smooth our the flaws in the first retaliation. Lunch flew by and so had dinner, finally it was 6:50, and the Populars were just meeting up to begin their travel to Hermione and Malfoy's dorm. In Hermione's mind, she could hear Ginny beginning to launch Plan L.
When Hermione answered the portrait tentatively to the knocks, she was almost trampled by the three frantic girls. Cho found the couch and made herself at home, looking like she just got over a near-death experience, while Lavender produced a glass of water from her wand, and Pansy fanned Cho with her hands. Hermione could care less what had happened, even if she didn't know. Lazily, Hermione walked over to the dramatic girls, out on a fake, but realistic, concerned face and asked what had happened.
Cho was too faint to speak, so Lavender sympathetically whispered, "Oh my God. Hermione, you will never guess what this one first year twerp just told Cho's beautiful face." Lavender stopped speaking, and Hermione guessed it was her cue to say some gushy, anticipating words. Hermione sighed quietly, and changed her tone, "Oh no! What could it possibly have been?!"
Lavender paused in a fashion that she supposed was dramatic. "The stupid crackhead said that Cho looked like she had lice!"
Hermione gasped, but inwardly rolled her eyes. How freggin lame. Then Hermione resembled the expression of having a great idea, just a she and Ginny rehearsed too many times. "Actually.. I just came across a spell that makes a potion that makes lice vanish! Oh Merlin, what great timing, right?!"
Cho's eyes got wide, and for a second, Hermione thought Cho might be suspecting her and Ginny's plan. "Please, please, please Hermione, make it for me?" Cho begged. Well, she's definitely thick, Hermione thought.
"Yeah, let me get my wand, you girls stay put, I'll whip it up real quick!"
Hermione received a chorus of thanks, then went upstairs to conjure up a bottle of hair potion. Hermione felt a bit guilty about giving Cho this bottle of turn-your-hair unmanageable and sickly-green colored in a day potion, but they had made others suffer for too long.
Hermione returned downstairs to see Malfoy with a pained expression on his face as Pansy gave him a bear hug and Cho and Lavender held dreamy expressions toward Draco. Hermione's told herself that 'they have the attention span of a squirrel in a rainbow nut land'. Hermione giggled to herself, boy, wouldn't that be quite the sight.
Hermione handed the solution to Cho and a towel, knowing that the girl would want to use it right away. Cho took it graciously and scampered off to find the shower. Draco excused himself from everyone and hurried off to his room, managing to give Hermione a dirty look first.
The night passed slowly, treacherously for Hermione. Cho felt much better after her shower, and Lavender and Pansy had gotten over the hot-ness of Malfoy. They played Truth-or-Dare, Would You Rather, Have You Ever, then settled with talking about the flaws and stupidity of other people. Then they went on and on.. and on about their perfect-ness. Lavender even showed off her talent of her beautiful singing voice. She sang a terrible impression of Fergie's Fergalicious, and even added a little dance number that was as slutty as can be. Hermione honestly believed her ears were bleeding, and even excused herself to the bathroom to check if they were. The night was finally over, and the words that led to Hermione's nightmares were the fact that 1) They were sleeping over (Pansy) and 2) get ready for morning (Cho).
Hermione was just ecstatic.
Hope you liked! And i hope you caught Hermione's ending sarcasm.