A/N: Wow, I'm so sorry for taking so long
A/N: Thanks, everyone, for being so patient with me! Junior year was hell! I had 4 AP Exams and all of the SAT prep. Plus, my mom had 4 operations so I had to take care of the kids! UGH!!
Anyway, I'm back to writing since I have most of the summer to do so. I hope ya'll are still reading!
Your reviews are my nutrients!
Chapter Three
For the next five months, Erik and I kept writing to each other, and every letter got more and more personal. Sometimes, my face would go red at some of the things he said. They weren't bad or anything, but I felt as if he were there, starring me down with those intense eyes of his. I constantly felt them on the back of my neck every once in a while. One time during work, I could have sworn I saw him at the corner of my eye, but I reminded myself it was impossible, seeing as he was half way across the world right now.
Something new happened, though. By the fifth letter, he didn't feel like a stranger anymore. In fact, I started to have romantic feelings for him. I mean I had always had a crush on him, but it seemed much more serious and urgent somehow.
I know it sounds so immature to be talking like this, but I can't help it. I received my twenty-fifth letter three days ago and I just couldn't deny what was in my heart anymore.
Dear Christine,
For all these months, the only thing motivating me to keep fighting is the anticipation of another letter from you. Last week my unit got attacked in the jungle by a few guerillas. Don't worry, I'm fine now, but out there, I wasn't.
Three men died and it was five more of our men against ten Vietnamese. I crouched behind a log and shut my eyes to block the sound, smell, and sight of death. I had been feeling its cool hands on my shoulders since I started fighting and I started to expect it to consume me any minute. But while I kept cover, trying to regain some strength, I looked at the blackness of my eyelids and your sweet face appeared to me in the midst of terror. I can't describe what happened to me at that moment. The only word I can come up with is serenity, like nothing else but getting back to you mattered. And just that memory of the pier pushed me to fight back. Christine, you helped me save lives; you don't know it, but you did.
For Christ's sake! I can't stop thinking about you! Your image never leaves my head. It still surprises me that I can remember what you look like after all these months.
Damn this war! All I want to do is come home, take you in my arms and kiss you! I can't hide anymore, Christine. I like you, I like you a lot, and I don't want to just be a pen pal anymore. When I come home, I'm going to take you on a real date and we can have all the burgers and shakes we want! Geez, I can't believe I'm asking you out over a letter, but I'm too anxious. The guys are starting to think I'm crazy 'cause I always have this goofy look slapped across my face whenever I get another letter. Okay, now I'm starting to babble, sorry. But I really do want to take you out; hopefully you feel the same, because I may just die if you don't have a shake with me.
Maybe I'll be home by Christmas time. I heard they're looking to finally settle this waste of men. I swear we shouldn't have gotten ourselves messed up in this business in the first place. But despite what I think, I've gotta keep fighting 'til the signing of a treaty. Until that day, I'll cherish every word you write, even if it's in a scolding tone telling me to back off, I'll still love it.
I miss you and I can't wait to see you.
Love,
Erik
Do you see what I mean? I knew I always liked him, but this just pushed me off the cliff. I didn't really know what love was, but I knew I'd never seen it. My parents said they loved each other, but all they did was fight and nag. I only saw love in the movies and even then, it was all complete cheese. What I was feeling now wasn't just a crush and it wasn't just friendly feelings; I'd never experienced it before in my life. It made my stomach drop every time I heard the word 'letter' and made my heart stop when I saw his elegant scrawl. Either I was in love with the paper, or Erik. Personally, I think it's the latter.
It was hard, though, to fall for someone in the war; they could be taken at any moment, and you'd never have the chance to say goodbye. The most closure you'd get was a soldier at your front door with a face that said it all. My neighbor received one of those messages. She and her husband were newlyweds and a month after he left, a man in uniform came with a flag. She didn't come out of the house for weeks.
I pray to God everyday that doesn't happen to us. We're not even going steady, but if he never came back I don't know what I would do with myself. I would probably do what my neighbor did, and then my mom would drag me out of the house and try to marry me off to some random guy she 'knew' from somewhere. I'd never let that happen though. I was waiting for Erik and I would wait for years if that were what it took.
I should probably write him back now. That letter came to me three days ago and I had spent those days trying to sort out my feelings and what the hell I was going to say! I tried to write a letter as magnificent as his, but it never came. I managed to accept his invitation to a date and I expressed my feelings for him too.
Dear Erik,
Of course I would go out with you! I won't scold you or anything, I think what you said was perfect.
No! That's stupid! I scratched it out and got another sheet of paper.
Dear Erik,
I can't write the words to express how happy I was to hear you're safe. It does scare me to know what kind of stuff you have to do everyday, though. Hopefully this will be over soon and fighting will be something in your past. I can't wait to see you safe and sound!
To answer your request, I would love to go on a date with you. To tell you the truth, I've always felt that way toward you. I really like you too, Erik, and I hope I can show you that once you're home.
Please come back in one piece!
Love,
Christine
It was short but I got my point across.
Ring ring…
I looked up from my desk before I could put my letter in its envelope hearing the sound of my phone. Before I could answer it, however, my mother got to it first.
"Christine! Cindy's on the phone! Keep it short!"
Ugh! I hate it when she does that!
"Hey, Cindy," I said after I picked up the receiver.
"Hi Christine! You busy?" Her voice was extra bubbly so I knew she was up to something.
"No, not really. I'm about to send a letter."
"Ohhh! How is that handsome soldier of yours anyway?"
"He's safe; it's all I can ask for." I knew my voice slipped and my solemn tone was noticeable.
"Well, I have something that will cheer you up just perfectly!" she squealed.
"And that would be…"
"The football game!" Oh great.
Cindy still hadn't got gotten over her obsession with Todd Knight and the football game would be a perfect time to see him. Being the starter quarterback, all eyes would be on him and he was play in all his glory. It honestly sickened me the way everyone worshiped him.
"Do I have to?" I wined.
"Yes! You've been moping around for the past few months and it's about time you go out and socialize!" She was right; I was being antisocial.
"Fine," I huffed, giving in.
"Okie doke! I'll pick you up at 6:30!" Cindy was the only one with a car. My mom figured if I had one, then I'd run away with all her possessions. Sometimes I didn't get how her brain worked.
I hung up the phone and went back to preparing my letter for sending.
"Christine?! What did Cindy want?!" my dad yelled from the next room.
"She invited me to the football game!" I shouted back.
"Sounds good!" My dad never really cared where I went, just as long as I didn't get pregnant.
"No it doesn't!" my mom yelled back.
"Just let her go, Marge!"
"No! You know, you're so apathetic!"
"And that automatically makes me a bad father?!"
Perfect! This was my chance! They'd be too concerned with their own argument in the front and wait for Cindy. It was 6 already so I could do it without my parents noticing.
I quickly tied my curls in my infamous ribbon bow. There wasn't a story behind my daily hairstyle, I just liked the look. It definitely wasn't in style, as Cindy kept telling me. Finally, I grabbed my jacket and walked out the door.
I walked a few blocks and saw the mailbox. Before I placed my letter in there, I gave it a kiss and hoped the lipstick I left on it didn't ware away too much. I hoped he saw my kiss. Sending the letter was kind of like sending a piece of my heart and it hurt a little each time. I never knew if it would get to Erik and all I could do was pray.
Lost in my thoughts, I didn't hear the approaching car. Beep beep!
The honk scared me a little, but I saw Cindy in the driver's seat of her convertible so my heart slowed to a normal pace.
"You scared me to death, Cindy!" I teased her while clutching my chest.
"Well maybe if you got your head outta the clouds, you woulda heard me!" Her hair was straightened and the thin strands almost covered her entire face. I really didn't understand the style. That's why I always pulled mine up.
I jumped in her car and we drove to the game.
OUCH! Now I remember why I hated football so much! Everyone's spirit was so high that all the jumping around and excitement caused multiple people to push and shove me around. Now I was pretty athletic, but me against a crowd did not win in my favor.
"Cindy! Where are you?!" I had lost her in one of the mosh pits, and the wrestling team was squishing me.
"Over here! I got us some seats!"
I looked up and there she was, in the stands, but it took me forever to finally reach her. After a while of waiting, the announcer told everyone to take off his or her hats and listen to the National Anthem.
The kid singing was from the freshman class with a surprisingly big voice. I always loved listening to beautiful voices, so I closed my eyes and relished the deep sound. I smiled feeling a sort of peace sweep over my body.
When it was over, a tall man in a black suit stepped up to the microphone.
"Folks, would you bow your heads for a list of the local Vietnam dead."
I sinking feeling settled in my chest and my ears stretched to hear every name he called.
"Geoffrey Abram, James Addison, Tom Bennett, Joe Bradley, Timmy Brown, Chris Conway…" My heart thumped in my ears. "Ben Day, Joseph Depp, Erik Devereux…"
My heart was breaking
My tears were flowing
My body was trembling
My legs were shaking
My mind was wasting
My ears were clogging
My heart was racing
My teeth were shattering
My world was falling
My walls were crushing
My pain was increasing
My hands were trembling
My love was leaving
My life was crumbling.
Once I was alone under that stands, my eyes burst waterfalls and my lungs sucked in all the air they could. I began to hyperventilate, but my tears never stopped. I remember collapsing on the ground, shaking as I heard a piccolo start the band. It was the last sound I heard before I fainted.
A/N: Dun Dun Dun Duuuuuuuun!! Haha, my first big cliffy!! Wow, that feels good.
Stay tuned in.
Enjoy!
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