A/N: Okay, so I figured it would be torture if I didn't update soon, so please read and review. This is a cliffy chapter too, so I'm going to use that as leverage. Sorry to be mean, but I won't update unless I have at least 5 new reviews. I know, you should hate me. Read and review!!
XOXO
Chapter Four
"Christine!"
He was dead.
My Erik was dead.
No he wasn't! He can't be dead! He said he'd be home by Christmas!
"Christine!"
I was dreaming.
That's it; this was just a nightmare!
He's coming home soon.
"Christine!"
Maybe that's my mom waking me up.
Yes, she's going to make me go to work.
It's just my mom waking me up.
"Christine!"
I'm in my warm, cozy bed.
I'm slowly waking up to a beautiful day.
A day full of hope that he's coming home.
"Christine!"
My eyes fluttered open and my heart sunk with the reality of my surroundings.
Cindy was holding my head up screaming my name, people were surrounding my reclined form, and my love was dead.
"No no no no no no no no no noooooo!" I groaned out shaking. Cindy just held me still waiting for my voice to soften.
"I know, sweetie, I heard. I'm so sorry, Christine." Her apology just made the river of tears that much stronger.
"Please, no, please, no!" I knew I wasn't making any sense, but neither was my train of thought. Everything was jumbled. I couldn't think, just feel. And the feeling was ultimate despair, like half of my heart being ripped out of my chest. The hole in my body caused me so much pain that my mind could focus on nothing else.
"Let's get you home sweetie," Cindy whispered softly.
I could only shake in response. She tried to get me to stand, but I wouldn't budge. In the few minutes of my state, I had become paralyzed. All I wanted was to be left alone to die. I wanted to die with him, to see him in Heaven. The thought of death seemed welcoming in the moment.
"Brad! Did you call the ambulance yet?" Cindy shouted. It all sounded muffled, like she was under water.
"Yeah, they should be here any minute," said an unfamiliar voice.
Like the boy said, I could hear the sound of sirens getting closer.
"Thank God!"
Once the flashing truck came into my peripheral vision all I could think of was the chance that Erik was in there, only injured. They had made a mistake! Erik had to be in there! They were bringing him to me…
However, I saw an empty gurney. With that last hope shattered to pieces, everything went black and I prayed to God that He was taking me to my blissful end.
XOXO
"Is she waking up?"
"Look! Her hand just twitched!"
"And her eyes are fluttering!"
All I saw was white, but all I felt was discomfort. I hadn't died. God damn it!
"Christine, Sweetie, it's Cindy. Can you hear me?" Bless her soul, she's still here.
I was awake now and my head was fuzzy. I could tell I was on a bunch of drugs because my vision was blurry and everything was spinning.
"What happened?" I managed to croak out.
"You went into a state of shock," a nurse told me as she changed my IV.
"Why?"
"You don't remember?" Cindy's face looked small and horrified.
Then it all came rushing back: the game, the anthem, the roster, and Erik… dead.
"Nooooooo!!" I screamed, startling everyone. Then, my body went into convulsions, flailing around violently.
"Christine! Get a hold of yourself!" shouted my mother as she tried to pin down my left arm and leg.
"Calm down," added my father holding my right side.
Cindy just looked at me from the end of the bed, tears streaming down her face.
"Nooooooooo!!" I continued to scream. Suddenly, everything became numb and I saw the nurse inject a needle into my arm.
"This sedative should calm her down a bit," she said.
"What happened, Cindy?" my mother demanded my best friend in a threatening tone.
"We were at the football game," she began in a shaky voice, "and she just fainted." She was lying to protect me.
"Why did she faint?" my mother urged.
"I-I-I-I don't know," she stuttered unconvincingly.
"Liar! You tell me now why she suddenly fainted!"
My poor friend looked cornered so I mustered all of my energy to speak.
"Erik's gone." I gave Cindy the okay with my eyes and she began to tell our story.
"Erik was a soldier. Christine served him supper before he was shipped off." She seemed hesitant to continue, but I nodded my head.
"They've been sending letters to each other for the past few months."
"A soldier! You've been flirting with a man! You filthy girl!" my mother shouted at my relaxed body.
"At the football game, they listed the soldiers who died in battle. Erik was one of them." At her last statement, both our cheeks streaked with moisture.
"Serves him right for writing to an innocent young lady!"
Slap!
I lay shocked at what had just transpired right before my eyes: Cindy had slapped my mother.
"MRS. DARLING! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! NO RIGHT AT ALL! CHRISTINE LOVED THAT MAN AND HE LOVED HER! DON'T YOU DARE TRAMPLE ON SOMETHING SO PURE AND JUST! YOU ARE THE MOST FOUL, CRUEL, DEMEANING WOMAN TO EVER WALK THIS PLANET!"
To my surprise, the corner of my lips lifted some at the pride of Cindy's courage, but the moment of happiness soon diminished as I remembered my mother's words.
"Is there a problem?!" The man, who I assumed was my doctor, looked beat red as he tried to calm the room.
"Yes," I surprised myself by saying, "I don't want my parents here." It was the first time I fought against them and I felt strangely better.
"Christine! We are your guardians!"
"And that's all you are!" I screamed through my tears.
"Ma'am, sir, I believe it would be better if you left your daughter alone," the daoctor suggested in a firm tone, showing them the door.
"This isn't over, young lady!" hissed my mother.
After a slight verbal struggle between my doctor and my parents, they finally left. Relief relaxed my body, or was in the sedative? Whichever it was, I was glad to have some peace.
"Christine? Do you need anything?" Cindy asked me, squeezing my hand.
"Some time alone," I replied apologizing with my eyes.
"Okay, Sweetie. Just call me if you need me." She kissed my forehead and walked to the door.
"Cindy," I called before she reached the door, "Thank you. You know, for everything. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You'd probably fall off a cliff," she teased.
"You're the best."
"Get some rest, Christine." She hesitated before she spoke again. "He's watching over you, you know. He's up in Heaven being your own personal Guardian Angel."
Her words pierced through me like a knife through my already broken heart. It was salt on the wound, but I knew it would make me feel better later.
"Thanks, Cindy." She nodded and closed the door softly behind her.
XOXO
It had been a month now and Christmas was now Christmas Eve.
While I was in the hospital, Cindy told Tony, the café's manager, my situation, and he gave me three weeks off from work. I sent him a thank you letter, but in those three weeks, I rarely left the safety of my room. Of course, my mother tried to drag me out, but my father would interfere and that would start a fight. So I just sat in my room, raising the volume on my headphones while they screamed a few yards away.
I had become a zombie, the living dead, or at least I wanted to be. That was my wish that I'd just die of grief like I heard about in stories of lovers. I never got any sleep so my face was pale and my eyes were outlined in purple. I used a lot of makeup, but by the end of the day, it would be all gone: washed away.
My life seemed empty without those elegant letters during the week. One day, my mother stormed through my room and tried to find them, but I had already hid them. They were tucked safe under a loose floorboard in the corner of my closet. No one could take those away from me: the lasting proof of Erik's existence. I had reread each on over a hundred times. I was forced to stop reading because they were starting to fall apart around the edges
Well, after my three weeks, I returned to the café and started up my old shift.
Tony was a sweetheart as always. Every time he caught me frowning, he'd tell me a corny joke he found the other day or he'd give me a compassionate smile that always lifted my heart.
Cindy was great too. She acted like nothing had happened, which I was thankful for. If Erik was ever brought up, I knew I'd just burst out crying. No, Cindy knew me too well; acting normal was best for me.
"Christine, Sweetie, we need more ketchup in the booths!" she shouted in the back where I was washing my hands.
"Okay, I'll fill 'em up in a minute!" I shouted back. I got full containers of ketchup and got to work.
I started at one end and refilled every bottle until I ran out and then went and got more if I needed it. It was a messy job, so I had a rag if it spilled a bit. I was good at this, though. My first week working here, Tony put me through 'initiation' where I had to fill the ketchup bottles and clean the floors even though I was a waitress. It was a big joke for all the employees, but it was worth it; I was soon a part of the family.
I got to the last booth and my heart constricted. It was the booth where I sat with Erik.
Slowly, I approached it and sat down on the red cushion. I just sat there a moment letting a stray tear slide down my cheek. A loud bang from the kitchen struck me out of my reverie and I quickly wiped it away and got back to work.
This was pretty normal for me, to get emotional around this booth. One time, I almost scared customers away.
XOXO
Flashback…
A soldier, home for Christmas, sat down with his wife in our booth. The sight hurt to look at and Cindy noticed the situation.
"I can get their order, if you want me to," she offered.
"No, it's my assigned section, I'll do it," I whispered back.
"Really, Christine, I don't mind."
"I need to do this, Cindy." She understood. I needed closure.
"Okay."
I walked over to the loving couple. They couldn't take their eyes off of each other and their hands were intertwined on top of the table.
"Hi, my name is Christine, and I'll be your waitress tonight. Can I get you something to drink?" I found if I didn't look at them, it wouldn't hurt as much.
"One chocolate milkshake, please. One straw," the soldier said smiling at his wife.
That was it for me. That was supposed to be our milkshake!
I just stood there, crying right in front of the whole restaurant. The worst part was that the embarrassment only made me cry harder. Cindy and Tony both had to lead me to the back. They sent me home for the rest of my shift.
End Flashback…
XOXO
Ever since then I was given a different section, and I was grateful for it. If I ever had to go through that again, I would have fainted, causing even more horrific embarrassment.
Trying to distract myself, I glanced at the beautiful Christmas decorations. There was a tree in the center of the café and a beautiful angel on top. Lights surrounded the windows and there were green and red streamers everywhere. Tony even dressed up as Santa. I glanced down at my own attire and chuckled at my elf costume. I looked ridiculous, but the customers seemed to enjoy it. The sun had set already so the place was glowing with brilliant lights.
How I wished Erik could be home for Christmas. But he was probably at the heart of the Christmas spirit right now. I bet there's one hell of a party in Heaven at Christmas time.
Once I was done filling up the bottles, I left our booth and went to tend to the customers. It was pretty scarce tonight being Christmas Eve and all, but there were still those lonely regulars, like Old Dean. He had eaten here with his wife every evening since this place had opened up 30 years ago. Even when she died, he still came.
There he was, sitting at the counter. Just like every day.
"Merry Christmas, Dean," I said to him. "Can I get you anything else?"
"Why the long face, dear?" He asked me this every night, but I never answered him.
"So just the check then?" I asked, avoiding the question.
"Oh, come now. Don't skirt around my question. It feels much better to talk about it."
"I lost someone." I don't know why I told him. "He was supposed to be home by Christmas."
"Did you love him?" He smiled at me knowingly.
"Very much so." I let the millionth tear trail down my cheek that night.
"He's still here, I bet my life on it!" He slammed his hand on the counter to emphasize his point.
"Thanks, Dean," I replied with politeness.
"You don't believe me do you?" Why was it that everyone could see right through me?
I rolled my eyes in response.
"You may not believe it, but he's here. Loved one's never leave." I couldn't help the sob escape my lips.
"Don't worry, dear, God will bring you a Christmas gift. You deserve it." After he was done speaking, he set a few bills on the counter and turned to leave.
I didn't look up to watch him go, my eyes were transfixed on my fingers, hopeful that no one saw me crying. The door chime rang once and I heard Dean wish an incoming customer 'Merry Christmas.'
Knowing I'd have to start working any minute, I wiped the salty moisture on my sleeve and got ready to greet our new arrival.
When I looked up, my eyes met a white mask standing in the doorway.
XOXO
A/N: Read and Review!! I won't update unless I have at least 5 new reviews.