Fantasy

by Lois Fogg

Revised version of my old AU fic. Serena and Mamoru find love in an alternate universe about to be destroyed by a tyrannical wizard. Chickens, sword fights and Mamo-chan au natural!

6. Why I Hated Chiba Mamoru Part II

Author's Note: And here's part II. Thanks for the comments! (And who wouldn't comment on Mamo-chan's ass if they had the pleasure of crawling behind him, hmm?) Public service reminder that you can find out about my novel and read the first three chapters if you follow the links on my profile.

Book Four: Why I Hated Chiba Mamoru (Part II)

While the issue of my riding sidesaddle was by no means closed, it was some time before I had an opportunity to bring it up again. Although the Setsuna hills lay almost directly north of us, the first part of our journey led us due east. We blended easily with the many other travelers as we clomped along the Eastern road.

"We are from the village of Han," he said after we had put a good distance between ourselves and Mirror. "It's a small village south of Mirror that was almost destroyed by the plague. No one will question our motives for traveling."

I nodded, and we lapsed into silence again. According to Jinsei, the Eastern road was one of the few safe roads left in Umeru. The Daimyo lords of Mirror and Yase had taken it upon themselves to fortify it after the Kojin's first attacks, a little over a year ago. Along the sides of the busy road countless vendors had set up temporary food stalls and roadside taverns, and were relentlessly hawking their wares to travelers.

"Mamoru, what's that?" I asked, pointing to a strange little stall that had bones hanging from the awning and rows upon rows of jars stuffed with unidentifiable objects in back.

"An apothecary from Cho'u. Probably doing a good business, too, with this plague."

"You mean he sells medicines," I said, eyeing the bones incredulously. "Like, what kinds of medicines?"

"I don't really know. Cho'u apothecaries are above the means of an ordinary villager. I've heard that dried centipede legs are quite popular for the plague, though. For the joints."

I suppressed the urge to vomit. "Why is the Kojin doing this? What possible reason is there?"

Mamoru stared straight ahead. "The Princess," he said softly.

"The Princess?"

He sighed. "Well, I'll try to explain it--as far as anyone understands, anyway. It won't make much sense to you unless you can understand what the Kojin is--or was--to this country. The Emperor's power, and therefore Umeru's safety, rested with the Kojin. The Kojin has been with the emperor's family for centuries. He and the Lady are the only two known practitioners of magic in the world, and his presence has always been the final arm of the emperor's power."

"What about the Lady?" I asked.

"She has always been a far less reliable presence, and never allied herself with one family like the Kojin. Without the Kojin, the daimyo lords would destroy us with their wars, and even with him their ambition was barely restrained. The emperor Nakatomi Ashitaka had one child, the Princess Minako, whom everyone expected would rule after him. I suppose she takes her coloring from her mother, a Hokusai, although I never saw the empress. As the story goes--and I don't know how true this is--the Kojin fell desperately in love with her. But the princess is...flighty, shall we say. She wanted nothing to do with him. In fact, they say that she laughed in his face when he proposed to her. You must understand that he is not regarded as precisely human. He has supported the Nakatomi clan as emperors for centuries, and his ability to wield magic and live forever sets him apart...she probably regarded his suit as ludicrous. He pursued her for years until one day she impressed upon him how little a chance he had with her. The Kojin flew into a jealous rage. He delivered the Emperor an ultimatum: either give his daughter over to him, or suffer the consequences.

"The emperor believed the Kojin's sincerity as little as the rest of the palace. I suppose they thought that his loyalty could not be lost over such a small matter. The emperor instead offered him a number of riches and beautiful women, but he withheld his daughter. The Kojin...was deadly serious, apparently. That night he left the palace. According to the emperor, he tried to steal the princess, but he discovered when he broke into her bedroom that she was already gone. The Lady had come and spirited her away, and nothing in the Kojin's magic could find her again. In a complete rage, he left the palace and hid himself somewhere. And then, he sent the plague. He tried to make the royal family tell him where the princess was, but they knew as little as he, and Lady was nowhere to be found. The plague infected the court first...and when he realized that he was dying as well, the emperor came to find me. The rest I believe you know. The hidden princess and I, the Emperor's bastard son, are the only two surviving members of the royal family. The Kojin's forces are everywhere, and people are disappearing without a trace. His desire for the princess is boundless, apparently."

"Oh god," I said. "That's terrible. I hope he never gets her."

"He won't if we can stop him first," Mamoru said and spurred his horse forward.

---------------------

An hour later, I was beginning to wonder if I would ever feel my butt again.

"Mamoru," I said, "you had better stop this horse." He brought it to a halt slowly, and turned to look at me.

"What is it now?"

"I absolutely cannot ride like this for the next three weeks."

"Is that it?" He turned around again and urged the horse into a walk.

"Did you hear me?" I pounded on his back for emphasis. He ignored me. "I cannot ride like this! And don't tell me you don't care."

"Too bad, I don't," he said.

"There's got to be another way for me to ride on this thing!"

"Serena, stop whining. We've got to get to Asuka by nightfall."

"Fine, have it your way," I muttered. Since it appeared that he was not going to stop the horse again, I carefully raised my left leg while gripping Mamoru's waist tightly.

"What are you doing?" he asked, squirming under my tight grip.

"None of your business," I said, swinging my leg over. Of course, kimonos had not been designed for such use, and in order to avoid exposing my more private areas, I had to hike the skirts to my knees.

"You didn't do what I think you just did, did you?" Mamoru asked, finally stopping the horse.

"What do you think I did?" I asked sweetly.

He turned around. "Didn't I tell you that you couldn't ride like that?"

"Why the hell not?"

He balled his fists in frustration. "Serena, I really don't have time to explain everything to you. As I believe I have mentioned, we are endeavoring to appear inconspicuous. I do not believe that a woman riding astride while showing an obscene amount of skin counts as inconspicuous!"

"Obscene amounts of skin?" I cringed under his verbal onslaught.

"Well, I'm sure it's just child's play to an exhibitionist of your caliber but, simply put, to most people showing that much of your leg would mark you as a prostitute. Do you want that? Now will you please sit on this horse properly so we can get on our way?"

Raising my chin with as much dignity as I could muster, I slid off the horse and allowed him to lift me up again. I bore his uncomfortably fast pace with what I hoped was stoic acceptance, but after an hour it had grown unbearable.

"Um...Mamoru?" I said.

"Yes?" His voice sounded resigned.

"Think you could slow down?" Now that I thought about it, we were passing everyone else on the road.

After a moment he obeyed, chuckling softly. I lay my head on his back, forgetting my stoicism and my anger. I enjoyed the way he shook when he laughed, and his smell. He was warm, as well, which was nice in the fall weather. The temperature had been fine during the day, but the sun was beginning to set and it was getting chilly.

"We're almost there," he said softly, not objecting to my position. "Just about one more hour." I did notice that the number of people on the road had increased, as had the clusters of small villages often found on the outskirts of cities. The hour passed quickly, for once not because we were arguing. In fact, I dozed off while leaning against him. I only surfaced when he pulled me gently from the horse after we had arrived at the inn. Night had fallen, I noticed when I opened my eyes. I allowed myself to lean against him a little longer than necessary while he instructed the stable boy to take care of our horse. He removed the saddlebags and we walked the door of the inn.

---------------------

It was a fairly small one-story building, with two beautifully made statues of seated monkeys flanking the doors. The curved roof and the small wooden porch were typical of most architecture that I had seen in this world. The hostess opened the large wooden doors as we neared, bowing her welcome.

"My wife and I would like some quiet rooms and food for the night," Mamoru said, and I felt a peculiar mix of frustration and pleasure at being called his wife.

"Of course," she said, bowing again. "Would you please come this way?" she asked, directing us towards the common room.

"Don't say anything out of character until we're by ourselves," Mamoru whispered to me as we walked inside. I nodded. The room contained two long tables, low to the ground with pillows underneath. Several people sat and conversed around them both. In the corner of a room, a beautiful girl, perhaps a bit younger than myself, played a curious looking instrument that resembled a small harp, laid on its side. She plucked the notes of a song delicately, accompanying her beautiful voice. I had never heard music similar to that before, and I stared, entranced. The scale was completely unfamiliar to me, and yet it had the same inexplicable charm that this entire world held. Mamoru had to jog my elbow gently before I realized that we should sit. We sat across from each other, at the end of the table closest to the door. I glanced all around me in a state of keen excitement.

"What are you smiling about?" Mamoru asked.

"Everything is so different here. Beautiful."

"You're easily pleased, aren't you?" His smile seemed gentler in the flickering lamplight. How could he look like that, I wondered, and then open his mouth and ruin the entire image?

"It depends on what's pleasing me," I said, smiling suggestively.

He laughed. "Like food?"

"Of course!" I said with mock indignation. "What did you think I was talking about?"

---------------------

After dining on miso soup and a dish of fried fish and vegetables, a serving girl led us to our rooms. The room was small, with a minimum amount of furnishings. A small circular window opened onto an inner courtyard. There was a low stool with a basin of water and a cloth next to a small mirror. Only rice mats covered the floor, and in the center of the room was a metal pan filled with ashes and coals with two large metal chopsticks beside it.

"Where are we supposed to sleep?" I asked.

Mamoru put the saddlebags on the floor and then untied a large white roll of cloth. As he unrolled it, I realized that this must be our bedding, like the mat I had slept on at the temple.

"Um...Mamoru," I said, looking around, "where is the other mat?"

He glanced at me with raised eyebrows and then continued making the bed. "There isn't one."

"There isn't..." I trailed off. Somehow I had forgotten that masquerading as husband and wife would mean sleeping in the same bed. I groaned and sat down on the floor near the metal pan. I picked up one of the chopsticks and idly pushed around the coals, hoping to encourage a little more warmth.

"We have blankets, right?" I asked, looking up at Mamoru.

I didn't register that he was changing out of his clothes until he pulled his shirt over his head.

"Wait, what are you doing?" My intensity wasn't due so much to prudish indignation as an upsurge of hormones. Then I realized that his midsection was covered in bandages.

"Oh my god," I breathed, "What happened to you?"

He gave me his most withering expression. Despite that, I moved closer, overcome with an insane desire to take care of him.

"I believe that you can answer that question yourself," he said.

"What are you talking about? You can't possibly say that I..." I trailed off, my momentary indignation giving way to horror. "You can't mean...that time in the dungeon...when I kicked...oh my god..."

He nodded.

"Why didn't you just say something?"

"You didn't ask. Really, though, we were in a hurry. It wasn't worth mentioning."

"You swam across that river..."

He winced. "Yes, well, that was a little difficult, I'll admit. Listen Serena, Ushiro and the others had done most of the job before you...greeted me in your inimitable fashion."

I stared at him in surprise before I remembered that he had mentioned his cracked ribs in the journal. "I just made it worse, you mean." Why did he have to look so gorgeous sitting there, smiling at me? Why was this new information giving him a proverbial halo? I desperately wanted him to say something mean so I wouldn't have to see him this way.

"It's all right, Serena. I'll survive," he said and his sardonic air reassured me that he still hadn't changed. I knew, however, that I would have to come to terms with this eventually. Preferably when I was far away from the man in question. That particular smile of his was probably illegal in several countries.

"Tell you what," he said, "I'll forgive everything if you'll just do one little favor?"

"What do you want?" I asked, backing away slightly.

"I just want you to change the bandages...what did you think I was going to ask?"

"I don't know, Mamo-chan. With you, anything is possible." He opened his mouth but I ignored him. "I know, I know, don't call you that."

---------------------

My hands shook. I wasn't very squeamish about this sort of thing. In fact, I had volunteered at a hospital for several years, but you would have thought I spent my whole life in a convent from the way I reacted to Mamoru. There was just something about him that magnified all of my emotions, my reactions, my tendencies. I was like four of my normal selves around him--a super-concentrated Serena, if that makes any sense. I was breathing heavily when I finished, my entire body trembling. I tried to pass it off, standing up nonchalantly to take off my kimono, but as soon as I stood I fell against the wall. I knew that Mamoru noticed, but for once he had the tact not to say anything. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I hated myself for showing any weakness in front of Mamoru. With the aid of the small mirror, I carefully removed the combs and braided my hair, while he unrolled and studied Jinsei's map. I took off the top kimono and the under kimono and folded them carefully. Wearing only the white linen jiban that I supposed counted as underwear here, I crawled into bed.

"You coming?" I asked after I had regained some of my composure. Mamoru glanced up from the map and nodded.

He climbed in next to me, still wearing his pants. I wondered--idly, I hoped--what real married couples wore to bed here. Nothing? It occurred to me that as many times as Mamoru had seen me naked, I had never seen him. That the thought even occurred to me was disturbing, that I found it disappointing did not bear contemplating. He blew out the lamp and we lay together for a moment, bathed by moonlight. He pulled the covers up further.

"Good night, Serena," he said softly. After a moment, he leaned over to kiss me on the forehead.

I lay there frozen long into the night.

---------------------

After a quick breakfast taken a mere hour after dawn, I was hauled back upon the horse and we continued our journey. While I had been too excited to really notice the day before, it struck me that several people on the road were looking at us, and myself in particular, rather strangely. At first I was afraid that the Kojin might have discovered us, but their curiosity did not seem malicious, only surprised.

"Um, Mamoru... I think everybody is staring at me," I said towards afternoon.

"Why would they stare at us?"

"Not us, me. I don't know why they're staring at me, but it's scary!"

"Serena, don't be vain."

"I am not being vain! Everyone's looking at me! See," I said, pointing to yet another culprit. "He's staring!"

Mamoru forced my arm down and turned to face me. "He's staring because you're shouting and pointing at him."

"That is not why!"

"Then why would he be staring at you?"

"I don't know! That's the point. People have been staring at me since we left the inn."

"Somehow I really find this a little hard to believe."

"Okay, fine, if we get captured, no one can say it is my fault. Though my body may be mangled and tortured, I can be safe in the knowledge that it is all because of one certain cocky bastard called Mamo-chan!"

"Serena, stop that. I already told you that I won't let anything happen to you."

"Oh, sure, that's what you say, but here my life is in danger, and you won't even believe me!"

"Your life is in danger because a few guys are staring at you?"

"Well...why else would they be staring at me unless the Kojin sent them?" How did he do this to me? Here I was going back on my logic of a mere moment ago.

"There are tons of other reasons, Serena. I don't know, maybe they just think you're pretty."

My retort stuck in my throat, and I gazed at his innocent looking back in shock. Did he just say that?

"Did you just say that?"

"Say what?"

"About my being pretty."

"Well..." He coughed. "Sure...I mean...you wouldn't start a war, but it's not like you're bad to look at..."

I grimaced. "I'll take that as a compliment."

He stilled the horse. "Are you hungry? This looks like as good a place as any to eat." He dismounted, helped me off and then led the horse into the tall grass on the side of the road.

Most of the landscape in this area was a grassy plain, and I enjoyed the appearance of the rolling hills, covered in waist high grass. Mamoru allowed the horse to graze, and then spread out a blanket for us to sit on. I sat down while he took some food from our bags.

"Where did you get this?" I said, staring at the expensive array of sushi and wheat cakes.

"A food stall this morning," he said, looking sideways at me with a hopeful smile. Inwardly I begged him to stop being so nice, to stop smiling like that. "So, do you think you can handle the chopsticks this time?"

"Despite your none-too-subtle hints otherwise, I'm sure that I'll manage."

Mamoru just looked at me as I picked up my chopsticks, and smiled as I proceeded to make a mess of myself.

---------------------

On the road again, I grew aware of a pressing bodily urge that I been endeavoring to ignore.

"Um...Mamoru," I said, squashing my legs together.

"Hmmm?" he said, trying to avoid getting too close to a richly appointed ox-drawn carriage that was passing us.

"Is there a place that I can um...you know..."

"You're still hungry? We just ate lunch!"

"While I know you seem to think I bear distinct similarities to a barnyard animal, everything I say to you is not a request for food!"

He sighed, but I could tell he was smiling. It was strange how some of our arguments were like this, angry on the surface, but underneath we were enjoying ourselves. "In the name of peace, I will refrain from comment. What did you want to know?"

"I...um...need to pee." I said, squeezing my legs together again.

He laughed. "You certainly are blunt, aren't you? Well, there's a small stream a little ways off if you're really desperate..."

"I assure you that this is a dire situation."

Without another word he turned the horse off the road toward more of the open plain, occasionally dotted with patches of trees. He must have been following some invisible trail, or maybe I was just too preoccupied to notice, but we arrived, none too soon, at the bottom of a hill surrounded by some low foliage. In front of us lay the stream. I leaped off the horse, unmindful of decorum this far away from prying eyes.

"Turn around," I said. Peeing on the side of the road was the kind of thing my mother had threatened me with when I didn't want to go before we left the house. Now, here I was, and I didn't care at all.

When I finished I carefully replaced the kimono, and allowed myself a fleeting wish for the luxuries of toilet paper.

"You done yet?" Mamoru asked, leaning over the saddle.

"Yes." I walked next to him. He smiled at me in that funny way of his.

"Your turn, then," he said, handing me the reins. At first I obediently turned around while he went to the stream, taking a moment to be amazed at how open our relationship had become. We still fought like cats, but we were incredibly comfortable around each other. This kind of scenario would have been terribly embarrassing with anybody else, but with Mamoru, I just felt amused.

Speaking of amusement, I thought, slowly turning my head around. I dropped the reins softly, my breath frozen inside of my chest. With the greatest of ease, I tiptoed behind and pushed him with judicious force. He landed with what was, I must say, quite a satisfying splash.

---------------------

I arrived at the inn of the small village with a bedraggled Mamoru, who was still refusing to speak to me. I knew he wasn't mad, though. The tilt of his head, the quirk of his lips when he thought I wasn't looking and the way his eyebrows kept inching up his face belied his best efforts. It should have scared me that I could read him so well, but I was too saddle sore to bother.

This inn was a little shoddier as the last one, but we both barely noticed it. I fetched the food while Mamoru changed his clothes. He had been shivering when we arrived. I told the innkeeper that we preferred to eat alone and waited for a serving girl to bring me a tray.

Silence greeted my appearance in the common room. I waited nervously for the food. Why wouldn't Mamoru believe me when I told him people stared at me? It had become worse as we neared the capital. I knew that it wasn't my coloring that made me so conspicuous. While blonde hair was rare in the south, Mamoru had told me it was fairly common among the Hokusai people up north. I had certainly seen more than a few people with it on the road. I practically grabbed the tray out of the serving girl's hands when she finally returned and hurried back to our room.

After we ate, I fished a comb from our saddlebag and began combing out the day's tangles.

"Is there any place to take a bath around here?" I asked, running my comb through my hair. It would be so nice to wash away some of that road dust.

"I could always push you into a river," he said, kneeling behind me in the mirror. He rested his hands on my shoulders. I shuddered, but made no move to displace him.

"You know," he said, "you remind me of someone..." His eyes traced the path of my hand as it combed the gleaming strands of blonde hair.

"Who?" I asked softly.

He shook his head. "I have no idea...you just seem familiar somehow."

The situation had suddenly grown too strange. His intense gaze and my erratically beating heart belonged in a romance novel, not my real life.

"Well," I said, trying to clear the air, "I've always thought you were crazy, but now you've definitely gone over the edge."

"If I've gone crazy, it's only because of a certain blonde exhibitionist," he said as he stood up again. I breathed a sigh of relief and finished braiding my hair.

I moved to the bed and lay down, feeling strangely alert although my body was exhausted. Mamoru looked at me, and then blew out the oil lamps. Moonlight bathed us then, and he lay beside me silently. He closed his eyes, but I knew he was awake--his body was far too tense. I stared at his profile, unable to tear my eyes away, but feeling as though I was somehow intruding. He looked beautiful in the moonlight too. Too soon, sleep caught up with me and I drifted away, my hand gently upon Mamoru's own.

---------------------

I woke up gradually, feeling as though something were missing. Cracking my eyes open, I saw that it was still dark outside. I rolled over, preparing to fall asleep again when I realized that Mamoru wasn't there. I sat straight up in alarm before I saw him, standing in front of the window, staring up at the moon.

"Mamoru," I said, my voice still rough with sleep, "what are you doing?" I probably shouldn't have said anything, should have left him alone, but he looked too sad for me to ignore. There were so many things I didn't know about him. The façade he presented to me was one of total nonchalance and fearless competence. Yet, here I saw a completely different man, one who was vulnerable, and didn't want to show it to anyone.

At first I thought that he hadn't heard me. He hadn't moved at all. I was about to lie down again, when his voice, soft and low, startled me again.

"It's a night of two moons," he said. "Legends say that two moons deaden magic as much as no moon awakens it. Tonight, the horse moon gives its power to the rabbit moon. If I were a diviner, I'd say that means to be careful. Of course...I'm not." I remained silent as if by compulsion after this strange speech. His voice had the tone of one recalling a painful memory.

"My mom first told me about the moons. I was...eight I think. She was the village diviner, but others called her a priestess. Everyone respected her, but it made me a bit of an outcast. I never cared though," and I detected a ghost of a smile in his voice, "she was my mother, she was beautiful, and I loved her. She told me how the moons gave our world life. Not magic, she said, but something different. Power. She said that within the waxing and waning of the moons was the key to the power of the earth itself. I loved it when she said things like that, even if I never understood her. The seventh moon, she told me, was the most powerful and the most elusive. Umeru has six guardian moons--the Serpent, the Quetzal, the Goat, the Monkey, the Horse and the Rabbit--but none of them can equal the power of the faceless, unseen seventh moon. Or so she told me." He shrugged his shoulders. "As I said, I never really understood.

"We weren't originally from the village. She never told me where we came from...only that she had come to live her life as she wanted. I don't blame her for not telling me about my father. After all, she never would have suspected he would ever want to find me. I hated him for doing that to her, though..."

My heart was in my throat and my eyes ached from my unblinking attention. I had never known, never so much as suspected such a confession from Mamoru.

"Sometimes I wonder why I'm even here, why I agreed to the Emperor's request. I admit that I wanted him to die...but this is not about revenge. It's my duty. My mother could have lived in the palace, with all of its luxuries, but she chose to live in a village and have her freedom. I couldn't...desecrate her memory and refuse the emperor."

"And the amulet?" I asked in a quavering voice, gripping it tightly.

"She had been making it since almost the moment we arrived in the village. She finished when I was sixteen. And then...the neighboring lord's troops invaded our district. We were right on the border...almost everything was destroyed before the Emperor could suppress it. My mother...died protecting me. She hid me under the floorboards. I remember--I could hear the screams and the clash of swords. I wanted to go out there and fight, but she wouldn't let me. I almost hated her for that...later. I thought, if I had been there, I could have saved her. She said that she was going to get help...now, I think she meant the Emperor. At the last minute, she shoved the amulet into my hand, and told me to keep it safe. 'It contains a mother's love,' she said, 'It will protect you when you need it most.'

"That was the last I saw of her. She died just beyond the village...shot clean through the heart."

His voice was disturbingly flat as he said this, and I felt sick with horror. He had only been sixteen. When I was sixteen my only worries had been boys and books. Now I understood the kind of gulf that lay between us, but I also saw how desperately I wanted to cross it. However unemotional he may have sounded, I knew that this still hurt him deeply.

"Why...why am I still wearing your amulet then?" I asked, and my voice was so quiet that I could barely hear it.

He had no difficulty, however, and turned towards me. I was shocked at the stark pain on his face, in sharp contrast to his emotionally controlled voice. "It seemed like the kind of thing my mom would want," he said. "And...I messed up one time. I refuse to fail again, but, if I do, perhaps the amulet will do the job for me."

"Fail to do what?" I asked, afraid that I already knew the answer.

"Protect you," he said simply.

He climbed into bed again, while I stared at him in forced silence. What he had told me completely changed my view of him, and I was too shocked to even care. I wanted to hold his hand, but I wondered if that would be too intrusive. I thought about pretending I had heard nothing out of the ordinary, but that didn't feel right either.

"Thank you," I finally said, softly.

But, by that time, he had already fallen asleep. It took me much longer.

---------------------

Despite the revelations of the night before, the next day turned out to be rather uneventful. We argued over breakfast as though nothing strange had happened the night before. I was secretly relieved; I didn't know how long I could handle the Mamoru I glimpsed last night. I called him Mamo-chan perhaps more often than normal, just as an easy way to start a fight. As long as we were fighting, I realized, I didn't have to worry about any strange new emotions.

Our roadside lunch that day was considerably less impressive than it had been the day before.

"Mamo-chan," I said, wrinkling my nose at the pungent smell of dried fish and the fermented soybean goop they called natto, "you couldn't do better than this? Ugh, I hate natto!"

He glowered at me. "Pardon me, Princess, but we don't precisely have the funds to dine on sushi every day. Are you going to eat or not? Because if you aren't, I'll be perfectly happy to finish this on my own."

"You ought to let me deal with the food next time. I promise I'll come up with something better."

He leaned over me. "Do you know how annoying you are?"

I raised my eyebrows at his angry bulk and jokingly reached for Petunia's Barbie doll. I held it in front of me to ward him off.

"Hey, don't make me use this!" I said, smiling.

Mamoru looked upon the naked doll with an expression resembling horror.

"Dear gods," he said, sitting back on his heels in amazement, "what kind of perversion is that?"

I blinked at him a few times before breaking out in helpless giggles.

"Oh, Mamo-chan!" I said between gasps of laughter. "If only all guys thought like you!"

---------------------

That evening we slept in someone's barn, since we were miles away from any town large enough for an inn. Our route had finally angled us in the general direction of the Setsuna hills, but that meant traveling through sparsely populated countryside. People still stared at me, and I knew that Mamoru had begun to notice it. I could only hope that we would remain unmolested. Mamoru had given the family who owned the farm some money for our accommodations, but they had also fed us, and I flattered myself into thinking that I hadn't made that big of a fool of myself. Mamoru had refrained from comment, which I took at face value. Actually, I was rather excited about the prospect of sleeping in a barn; it had a romantic air to it. The straw turned out to be itchy, but that didn't stop me from playing in it like I was five.

"Okay, Serena-chan," Mamoru said, "will you stop that? We need to talk."

I tossed some hay at him and started giggling again. I rolled around in the loft, uncaring of what got caught in my hair. It's not every day that you get your own personal hayloft, after all.

"I always knew you weren't the most mature person of my acquaintance, Serena, but really, this is ridiculous."

I couldn't get angry with him since I knew it wasn't really an insult, so I just tossed more straw at him.

"Serena!" he shouted as he plucked straw out of his hair.

"All right, all right, Mr. Responsibility." I sat up in the hay. "What is it?"

He sat next to me. "Are you aware," he said, plucking hay from my hair, "of how you look?"

"Didn't you say that you wanted to talk to me about something? Was it my appearance?"

Still plucking the hay from my hair absentmindedly, he said, "Well, aside from the fact that you look like a straw monster, I have no complaints."

"Thanks," I said, ignoring the shudders that ran through me as he touched my hair.

"So, did you hear what that lady said about the Kojin's hideout?" he said.

"Sure, but I've also heard that he is living in a subterranean city with minions of the dead. I'm not sure how credible these people are."

Mamoru shrugged. "Well, this one seems slightly more likely, I think."

"Maybe. So where is this island of Yonde?" I asked.

"It's a smaller one to the north of here. The winters there are brutal, and if he is living in a mountain fortress, as she claims, it gives him a considerable amount of natural protection. Add that to the extensive magical and physical guard that he is sure to put around him..."

"But you know," I said, "I think there could be a way for me to verify where he is."

"How?"

"Maybe the same way I found out you were in trouble before. That time all I did was open myself...it might be possible." I shrugged my shoulders, "Well, it won't hurt to try, at least."

Mamoru's brows were furrowed, but he nodded. "This isn't dangerous, is it? It would be useful, but it's not worth you risking yourself."

I smiled a little. "Don't worry about me. Now just be quiet for a bit while I try."

I crossed my legs in the hay and closed my eyes. I dismissed Mamoru's concern from my mind as I sought the same kind of open state I had achieved once before in Petunia's foyer. Gradually, I could feel that strange power enfolding me as the meditation deepened. I focused on the idea of the Kojin and the frozen island of Yonde. With a sense of almost physical dislocation, I felt myself floating in what seemed to be a night sky littered with stars. Below me, I saw a large, ancient building of cold gray stone. I wondered if this was the Kojin's fortress, and then decided to move closer, to see if I could discover anything more. It was strangely difficult getting close, however, like I was swimming through molasses. Suddenly I found that I couldn't move at all, and I could sense a presence, terrifyingly strong, all around me. I shrieked and then I heard laughter.

"Who is this?" I heard, and then a face appeared before me--a middle aged man with thinning curly brown hair and sharp violet eyes. Those violet eyes widened as he looked at me. I could feel a sudden blast of anger augment his power.

"Minako?" he said quietly. And then he roared the name, a sound of vicious triumph.

"No!" I shouted, desperately trying to break away. "I'm not! Let me go!"

And then a sharp, burning pain startled me, dragged my consciousness out of his grip and straight back to my body, still shaking on the hay in the loft of the barn.

Mamoru was holding me by my shoulders, his eyes terrified. He was screaming my name and there was a knife, the blade red with blood in the straw at his feet. My eyes were watering. I tried to stop the tears but they continued despite me.

"I'm...alright," I said. "It's okay, Mamoru. I'm alright."

His eyes closed and he hugged me for a long moment, so tightly I could hardly breathe. When he let go, his hand brushed my upper arm and I gasped. I saw a gash, still bleeding, and I remembered the sharp, burning pain that had released me from the Kojin's grip.

"I'm sorry," he said, his eyes miserable, "it was the only way I could think to release you. You didn't respond when I shook you or yelled your name. What happened?"

I shuddered. "You probably saved my life. I shouldn't have done that...I found the Kojin's stronghold...I also found the Kojin. He screamed at me, I thought he would destroy me...thank you."

Mamoru shook his head. "Not now. You're still bleeding." He took a cloth, some bandages and water out of our bags. Avoiding my eyes, he wet the cloth and wiped the cut, which did not look so serious once he cleaned away the blood. I wondered if his hands were really trembling as he wound the bandage around my arm, or if that was just my imagination. When he finished, he sat next to me and lay back in the hay, closing his eyes.

"How are we ever supposed to stop him?" I asked.

"I don't know...when we find the Lady..." he opened his eyes again and looked at me, "we have to find the Lady."

And I knew he was right.

---------------------

The next day we continued down a road that was, Mamoru informed me, notorious for its bandits. They had been especially dangerous lately, which accounted for the conspicuous lack of fellow travelers without an armed guard.

"Mamoru," I said, when an ox-driven cart followed by mounted sentries passed us. "How are we supposed to survive if bandits attack us?"

His eyes scanned the sides of the road and up ahead. "Don't worry," he said.

"Don't start with me, Mamoru! I don't care how good you are, you still can't overcome a troupe of trained bandits."

"Hopefully, I won't have to, but if I do, I promise you'll be safe."

"Brilliant," I said.

After another hour of riding in silence, we had an opportunity to test his assurance. In the distance I could see a group of bandits raiding an entourage of sumptuous ox-driven carriages. Their sheer numbers and ruthless fighting skills were quickly overwhelming the travelers. Mamoru quickly reined the horse to a stop and moved us to the side of the road. Unfortunately, the plain gave us little cover, and we both knew that the bandits were sure to see us once their initial quarry had been subdued. We did not dare ride further into the plain or back down the road, because we would only call attention to ourselves. So we hunched in the waist-high grass and prayed. Too soon the fighting was finished, and hard though I hoped they would take their loot and move on, they remained on the road.

"Go see if anyone else is around," one man barked, and we heard the approaching footsteps of two men. Mamoru was looking at me now, his hand on his sword hilt. I restrained him; fighting was the surest way to get ourselves killed.

"Serena," he whispered, his eyes locked on my face. He seemed desperately confused by something. Suddenly, his eyes grew wide in what appeared to be disbelief.

"I know," he whispered again, and then the men were upon us and there was no place left for us to go. I turned my eyes to face them, ready to accept my fate with dignity--

And Mamoru kissed me.

---------------------

Positioning himself so he fully blocked me from the view of the men, his lips met mine and I felt like exploding. I gripped him convulsively, my back arching slightly. I had never dreamed that anything could feel like this, or if I had, I never believed that it would happen to me. I didn't know why he was kissing me, why he seemed to have disregarded our imminent danger, but I didn't care. What I suspected had begun as a matter of expediency quickly descended into passion on both sides. My lips, my whole body was on fire. I had never been kissed like this before, and it made me wonder what sex would be like with him. His arms were wrapped protectively around my lower back, supporting me as much as embracing. In that moment, as our tongues met in what was at once paradoxically gentle and savage, I could have thrown out all of my inhibitions, declared my love to the world, admitted to myself what was becoming increasingly hard to ignore over the course of our journey...but I didn't. Perhaps I was just stubborn, or perhaps my protective emotions were still too strong. I felt far too exposed declaring this to Mamoru, and it was safer just to deny it to myself as well.

The men, a few feet away from us, began to talk. The kiss continued, but its intensity lessened as we both disengaged our minds enough to make sense of the conversation.

"What did you two find over there?" the leader asked.

"Just two lovebirds in the grass," one answered.

"Maybe we can join in on the fun..." the other one suggested with a lecherous grunt, and I shuddered involuntarily.

"Jisho, on your own time!" the leader said, somehow hearing the man from several yards away. "Are they the ones?"

"Nah, I don't think so," said the first speaker, even as they walked away. "Honestly, Jisho, don't you think you can wait until evening?" the man muttered under his breath. "You're going to get us in trouble..."

In the tense moments that followed, we heard the sounds of the men moving out, the confiscated ox-driven carriages between them. There were sounds of women weeping from within, and in a moment of horror I realized why Jisho only needed to wait until evening. I wanted to get up, crusade, and do something to save them, but I knew that I couldn't. If I revealed myself, our entire journey was over. We had to find the Lady. If we didn't save these people, at least we would help others in this world. The thought did not relieve my feelings of guilt.

We still hadn't broken off our kiss. In fact, we were doing rather well considering that half of our attention was focused elsewhere. After the sounds of the bandit gang grew even more distant, the kiss deepened for a few heady moments. It was as though Mamoru was trying to suck the last few drops of pleasure from my lips before he released me. I stared at him for a shocked moment, still lying limp in his arms.

"Serena," he said and his voice was rough and his breathing was hard. Now that we had stopped, I could barely believe what we had just done. He placed me down gently on the grass.

"Serena," he began again, and this time his voice was slightly steadier. "I think...perhaps...perhaps we should forget about this..."

I nodded, swallowing hard. "I think...I think we just were...carried away." God, but I enjoyed it.

He nodded nervously, running his hand through his hair. His eyes began to trace my figure, and then I saw him force himself to stop. What was going on through his mind now? How many girls had he kissed to learn to do it like that? And why did I care, anyway?

"Mamoru," I said, my voice cracking, "why...why...did you..." I couldn't get it out.

"They would have seen, otherwise," he said. His gaze was more direct this time.

"Seen what?"

"Your hair."

---------------------

Which was how I discovered why everyone had been staring at me for the past five days. Apparently, my hair made me a dead-ringer for the princess.

"Why didn't you notice before?" I asked, when we had made it to an inn.

"I grew up in a small village, on the edge of nowhere. The only place I've seen the princess is in picture scrolls...between that and descriptions of her, it's understandable that it took me a while."

"Isn't she your sister?"

He looked away suddenly, and I regretted my tactlessness. "Yes. Of course, I didn't know that at the time."

I also realized something that Mamoru had not mentioned, probably because he didn't want to alarm me. Those had not been ordinary bandits. The fact that they had attacked such an obviously defended entourage and won, but didn't attack us was particularly notable. They were looking for someone, and I was afraid that I knew who.

I sat in front of the mirror, looking at my hair helplessly. We had decided that it would be a good idea for me to change my hairstyle, but with my hair type, changing it drastically enough to look different would be difficult.

"You know," I said, fiddling idly with my hair, "I've been thinking about the story you told me, about the Kojin and the Princess. Don't you think it's strange that the Kojin would go through this much trouble just because he wanted the Princess in his bed? I mean, he's lived for centuries, hasn't he? Why would one girl put him out so much?"

"As far as I can tell, even the Emperor didn't know much more than what I told you. I admit it's a little strange, but if there is another reason, only the Princess, the Kojin and the Lady know about it."

I sighed. "Which doesn't help us, does it? I keep thinking about how angry the Kojin was he saw me looking at his fortress. Minako...that's the princess' name, isn't it?"

"Yes. Did he call you that?"

I nodded. "I guess he thought I was the Princess, too. And his reaction to me was...not one I would expect from a thwarted lover."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know what to tell you. I mean, he's probably insane, Serena. Even if we did give the Princess to him--if we could convince the Lady to--he probably wouldn't stop this terror. In fact, it might even get worse."

I shuddered. "You're right. But you know," I said, an amusing thought having occurred to me, "you were wrong about one thing."

"What?"

"I could start a war, after all."

---------------------

More than one, as it turned out. With a few inspired twists and hairpins, I had transformed my appearance. I'd gathered up my hair into balls on both sides of my head, letting most of it flow free down my back: sort of like a cross between Princess Leia, Minnie Mouse and Lady Lovely Locks. I looked very different, and in a strange sort of way, I liked it. Mamoru was evidently not a fan, however. As soon as he saw me, he started to laugh until his eyes watered.

"You look like you have two dumplings on a stick," he said.

"Oh, very mature, Mamo-chan," I said.

"I told you not to call me that... Lady Dumpling Head!"

I choked with indignation. "Lady Dumpling Head...Lady Dumpling Head? What did you just call me?"

Which marked the beginning of the Mamo-chan vs. Lady Dumpling Head wars. At least it passed the time.

---------------------

The next day I underwent the most awful, hideous and harrowing event of what had already become a journey worth remembering.

I got my period.

I suppose, in the back of my mind, I had known that it had to happen sometime. But I had seen no calendars here, and even if I had, their months didn't even roughly correspond to mine. My stomach began its initial tremors while we were still on the road. Trying to ignore the pain, I leaned on Mamoru's back and stared listlessly at the ground. I longed for an aspirin, but I hadn't seen anything resembling painkillers on our journey--unless you counted the centipede legs. I began to breathe heavily.

"Are you all right, Serena?" Mamoru asked, looking back at me.

"Yes," I lied through gritted teeth.

He paused, but then continued without saying anything more. About half an hour later, I told him to stop the horse. I slid off quickly and stumbled to the side of the road where I proceeded to discard what looked to be every meal I had eaten that week from my stomach. I knelt there, shaking, unable to think coherently. I felt Mamoru's hands on my shoulders, and I leaned against him gratefully. While I had never exactly looked forward to that time of the month, my period had never been this bad.

"Serena," Mamoru said, "what's wrong with you?"

I couldn't seem to focus on what he was saying. What if I bleed through my kimono? But Mamoru's worried look compelled me to try to respond.

"I really need to get to the inn...I think," I said as I clutched my stomach. Even my back ached, but I felt too weak to sit up straight. He helped to my feet, and half carried me back to the horse. He mounted and then pulled me up in front of him. This way, I was in no danger of sliding off the horse, although it was harder for him to ride.

"Don't worry, Serena," he said gently, and I was amazed at how scared he seemed. "We'll be there in moment."

I nodded, since I knew if I opened my mouth it would be to scream. I rested my head against his chest, and prayed that it would soon be over. We did, in fact, make it to the town far sooner than I had expected. He traversed the streets quickly, inquiring for directions to the inn in a curt, controlled voice. He carried me from the horse to the inn, which would have felt nice had I been in any sort of mood to appreciate it.

"My wife is very sick...is there a priestess here who can see her?"

The innkeeper looked alarmed. "Is it the plague?" he asked.

"No," Mamoru said. "Check for yourself," he added, when the man looked dubious. Still eyeing Mamoru warily, he reached over gingerly and moved my arm back and forth at the elbow, then my knee. Apparently this satisfied him.

"Of course, we'll send for one immediately."

I tuned out the ensuing confusion, content to let Mamoru handle everything. He took me to the room and lay me on the futon with an aching gentleness. I saw him watching in helpless concern as I wrestled with another attack. It occurred to me that some women dealt with stress by missing their periods. I dealt with stress by nearly killing myself. Well, this probably wasn't life threatening, but it was doing a fair imitation. Soon after he put me down, the priestess entered the room. She was elderly, with gray hair and a simple kimono.

She looked at Mamoru appraisingly. "Perhaps you could leave for a time?" she asked.

Mamoru looked at her like he wanted to refuse, but left after a moment's pause. The woman closed the screen door, but I saw his shadow pacing just behind it, and smiled a little.

The priestess knelt next to the bed and untied a large green silk sack that she had tied just above her obi. She studied me for a moment and then placed her slightly veined hands on my stomach.

"Women's illness," she said finally. "It attacks some of us more than others. You appear to be among the unfortunate."

I looked at the door, where Mamoru's pacing shadow had paused. Well, he would have found out eventually, I thought.

---------------------

After she had finished, I lay on the mat in a clean jiban, feeling light headed but pain free. Whatever she had given me felt like a combination of pot and codeine, which made for a happy Serena. The priestess had explained to me how women dealt with these things, and while not exactly pleasant, it was livable. After leaving me a liberal amount of the miracle herb, the priestess left, passing Mamoru on his way in.

"Are you all right?" he asked, sitting beside the bed. I looked at him, faintly surprised. Most guys I knew fled at the thought of a girl's period, but Mamoru didn't seem to care. Maybe it was a product of growing up with a single mother.

I smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you."

He barely nodded, still staring at me intently. "The priestess said that we should stay here for at least another day."

"Another day? You know we can't afford to stay in one place for too long. What if the Kojin and Ushiro find us?"

"You were really sick today, Serena," he said, almost as though he were pleading.

And I didn't know how long I could handle it, suddenly, if he didn't stop being so nice.

He smiled reassuringly.

I closed my eyes.

---------------------

I slept till late the next day. Mamoru must have given me more of the wonder drug, because the supply was lower and I still felt a little high. I also felt much better. I sat up gingerly, a little surprised when I saw that Mamoru was not in the room. The sun was setting outside my window, but I didn't need that reminder to tell me how hungry I was. I stood up and promptly fell down.

Well, it seemed I was more tired than I had initially thought. Gritting my teeth, I stood up again, leaning on the wall behind me to regain my balance. I pulled the small mirror from our saddlebags and stared at my reflection. I barely recognized myself: the deep bags under my eyes and pale complexion made me look like a character in an Anne Rice novel. While this particular backwater inn did not supply mirrors, it did supply a medium-sized bowl of water, which I splashed liberally on my face. Hoping that it made me look marginally better--although I really didn't know why I cared--I searched through our stuff for my extra kimono. I hoped that Mamoru had taken the old one to the local equivalent of a dry cleaner. The other kimono, when I found it, was as simple as the last, with a blue under kimono and a top one made of light pink silk with a red obi. I put it on with learned skill and returned the Barbie doll to its rightful place next to me. Mamoru's amulet, as always, hung from my neck. I had always been careful with it, but after his story, its importance had increased infinitely.

I walked into the hall and put on my shoes, which were lying neatly in front of the door. I walked down the stairs slowly with one hand on the wall for stability. I saw Mamoru as soon as I entered the common room. He was sitting near the doors, away from the larger crowd by the hearth. All of those people couldn't possibly be patrons of the relatively small inn, and I wondered what event would draw people from the village. Mamoru was sitting at a small table, staring expressionlessly into space. I walked up behind him and put my hand on his shoulder lightly. His sword was halfway out of its sheath even before he had turned around. I backed away, making a quick mental note never to surprise him again. Our close-quarters sometimes made me forget how dangerous he really was. I had no desire to be on the receiving end of that sword.

He looked at me and sighed. "Oh, it's you. Don't do that again, okay? I could hurt you."

I looked at him curiously. That didn't sound like the Mamoru I knew. He should have insulted me for my carelessness. I sat down on the other end of the table and looked into his eyes. He really did seem upset about something.

"Um...Mamoru?" I said. The temptation to say Mamo-chan was strong, if only to bring him out of this depression, but I resisted. "What's up?" I asked, trying to be nonchalant.

"The sky?" he suggested, and I snorted with laughter.

"I never expected to hear anyone say that and be serious," I said. "I mean, are you all right? What have you been doing?"

He sighed, and looked away from me. "Getting supplies. I'm afraid that we may have to change our route if some of these rumors are true. It might just be safer to stay away from large towns altogether."

"Why?" I asked. While he talked I appropriated his untouched miso noodle soup and proceeded to demolish it.

"People are saying that the Kojin's men are riding from village to village, declaring that all who side with the Kojin won't have to suffer the disappearances or the plague again. For loyalty--and immediate deliverance of those he is looking for--they will receive immunity. I wish I could say that people won't surrender, but..." his eyes still avoided mine. "You haven't been here this past year. So many have died, and scores have simply disappeared without a trace. I think that many are willing to sacrifice everything just to put their lives back together."

"Oh," I said softly. The longer we took to find the lady, the worse the situation would become. "I'm sorry," I said after a moment, "We should have left yesterday. It's my fault."

"One day isn't going to matter in the end and...you needed it. Why are you down here, anyway? Shouldn't you be resting?"

I rolled my eyes. "I've been sleeping all day. Besides, I'm starving." I looked at the untouched meal in front of him. "Why aren't you eating?"

He shrugged his shoulders, and I wondered if something else was bothering him besides our situation with the Kojin. I didn't have a chance to ask, though, because the crowd began to quiet. I could barely make out a seated figure carrying a strange, lute-like object.

"What's going on over there?" I asked.

"It's just a biwa hoshi," he said.

"What's that?"

"A lute priest. They travel from town to town telling stories."

I felt a growing excitement. "There's such a large crowd here. Is he supposed to be good?"

Mamoru shrugged. "I suppose so. I didn't ask anyone."

"Well, aren't you just the soul of curiosity."

A few trilled opening notes indicated that the man had begun his tale, and I turned towards him. The lute priest's language was beautiful, and though his manner of delivery and singing was foreign to me, I grew to enjoy it. The music was not as toneless as it sounded at first. Mamoru perked up when the priest began his tale, curiosity in his eyes.

"This is unusual," he said.

"What?" I asked, most of my attention still fixed on the priest.

"I've never heard this story before..."

"Long ago," the priest began, "in another world, there lived a brother and sister. They were different in every way imaginable. The boy, the older of the two, was solid and dependable. He was a good son to his parents, and they cherished him as the perfect heir to their fortunes. The parents despaired over their daughter. She was flighty, unreliable and never listened to a word her parents said.

"While her brother was sent away to be educated, she remained at home. Instead of learning her proper womanly duties, however, she ran with other boys. She never dressed properly, and never learned how to sew or cook. She was very intelligent, however, and she taught herself to speak several different languages by reading books in her father's library. The family lived in an uneasy peace until a strange woman moved to the village. No one knew her name, and she locked herself in her house, paying street urchins to fetch food for her from the market. Everyone suspected that she was a witch, and in that time, this was a crime punishable by death. Much to her parent's dismay, this young girl befriended the witch, and spent most of her time in her house. When the brother returned home, the parents begged him to restrain his sister.

'Our whole house will come to ruin if you do not stop her,' the mother pleaded of her son. And because he was so reliable and good-hearted, the son agreed. So, he set out to the witch's house, brave in his conviction. When he arrived, he pounded on the door, demanding that the witch release his sister immediately. Now, he had been educated in the city, and he did not truly believe in witches, but he also did not have much faith in his sister. He heard no sounds from within and after several moments, he broke open the door. When he arrived, he saw that the small hut was deserted. In the middle of the floor was a large chalk circle. Slowly he walked forward," the man paused dramatically, and the music intensified, "inching ever closer to the circle. He moved as if in a trance. Against everything that he had been taught, he stepped inside the circle." There was another strum of chords. "And disappeared."

My heart was pounding.

"This is the story of how the Kojin and the Lady first appeared on our world." The room erupted in applause, and the man acknowledged it with a graceful chord. I hoped that he would continue with their story, but he moved onto other things, and I turned back to Mamoru.

"Did you know that?"

He shook his head. "I never heard that story before."

---------------------

Several days later, we rode in listless silence along a deserted, mud-slick road. My brown cloak was supposed to protect me from the relentless rain, but it had been soaked through since yesterday, and I only had the beginnings of a cold to accompany my misery. Mamoru was hardly faring any better, but he had stopped complaining about it.

The road ahead of us seemed to stretch into forever, and I wondered when we would reach the Setsuna hills and find the Lady. Too many villages we had passed recently were flying a bolt of yellow cloth--the traditional color used to quarantine plague houses was now being used to indicate submission to the Kojin. In the rain we had passed fields of freshly dug mass graves, and their bubbling stench made us hurry by. The villagers, I supposed, barely had the energy themselves to bury their dead in deeper graves.

But while the gloom of the rain and the reminders of destruction around us seemed to make Mamoru sink further into himself, it made me irritable.

"How far are we from any town?" I asked, trying not to sneeze on his back.

Mamoru shrugged. "In this weather? We may make it to a small village by nightfall. It's a guess as to whether or not we can find an inn there, though."

"Or whether or not they'll be friendly to the Kojin," I said.

Mamoru didn't acknowledge me, but stopped abruptly and glanced around us, his body tense. His hand rested on the pommel of his sword. I tried to see what had worried him, but couldn't see anything past the mud and the rain.

"Mamoru, what is it?"

He relaxed gradually and picked up the reins. "Bandits. These roads are notorious for them, and these conditions are ideal for an attack."

I shivered. "Mamoru, you're going to be careful, right? You won't do anything stupid just to protect me, right?"

"I'll do what I have to, Serena."

I clenched my hands but didn't say anything. Lately, Mamoru had been so determined to protect me that sometimes he seemed too willing to sacrifice himself. I had found myself lying awake at night, listening to the sound of his breathing, grateful just to hear him alive. It drove me crazy that he didn't seem to consider his own safety.

Suddenly Mamoru reined in the horse and whirled it around, transferring the reins to one hand and unsheathing his long sword in the same motion. I don't know how he sensed the attack. The rain had made it practically impossible to hear anything and I couldn't see further than four feet in front of me. Nevertheless, their blades met with a shower of sparks and then a series of moves so fast I couldn't follow them. After a wild swipe of his attacker's sword came perilously close to my ear, Mamoru shoved me roughly from the horse. I landed on my butt in the mud, far away from where he was taking the fight. I sat there, frozen and terrified as I watched the two attack each other relentlessly. After some of my fear subsided, I began to understand how much better Mamoru was than his assailant. If anything, I saw, he was searching for a way to disarm the man without killing him. As far as I could tell, his attacker was just a common bandit--neither his sword nor his horse marked him as anything else. That, at least, was a relief.

Then, abruptly, Mamoru knocked the other man's sword to the ground and rested his sword on the bandit's throat. The man stared at Mamoru, clutching at his left arm.

"Leave your sword. Get out of here. I'll kill you if you try this again."

The man nodded once and then turned his horse around and galloped in the other direction. Mamoru stared down the road even after the rain had swallowed the man's retreating figure. Then, shaking his head, he sheathed his sword and rode back over to where I was sitting in the mud. He dismounted and offered his hand. After a moment, I accepted it and stood up.

"Are you all right?" I asked, trying to stop my heart from pounding.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry I pushed you from the horse. It was too dangerous for you up there."

I found myself staring at him, trying to memorize his features. There was too much violence surrounding us; he might be taken from me any moment. I wanted to yell at him, anything to relieve my pounding tension, but all I could do was grip his hand and nod. Mamoru stared at me, but did not say anything as he led me back to the horse. When he tried to mount it however, it shied away from him, limping slightly.

"Oh God," Mamoru said, his voice having finally regained a hint of color. "The damn thing threw a shoe." He knelt in the mud next to the horse and lifted its left front leg. "She's gone lame," he said and put the hoof down. "We can't ride her until we can get to a blacksmith."

"We have to walk in this rain?" To my dismay, I realized that I was near tears.

"Listen, dumpling head, we hardly have a choice. I don't like it anymore than you do."

"Oh, shut up Mamo-chan! This would never have happened if you hadn't decided to be so noble and fight in the rain."

"What, would you have had me let him rob us?"

I tried to search for a retort, but I knew that he was right so I stayed silent.

"I'm glad you agree. Now, are you coming or do you want me to carry you?"

Muttering to myself, I hiked up my kimono and walked next to him, wishing that I had sturdier shoes than these sandals. We walked for hours in that numbing rain, and it seemed to drill even my thoughts from my head. After I tripped in a deep rut that sent me sprawling in the mud, I gave up any small effort I had made to keep clean. I knew that Mamoru felt just as awful as I when he failed to make any comment on my clumsiness. He helped me up silently and we continued. What I wouldn't give for a bath, I thought as I sneezed once again. We struggled gamely onwards, but as the hours passed I realized that we would never reach the village by nightfall.

I finally decided to venture a question, despite Mamoru's closed, brooding countenance. "Where are we going to stay tonight?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Hopefully we will find something that doesn't double as a bandit hang out."

I wanted nothing more, I decided, than to lie down and pass out. The mud was even starting to look cozy. Mamoru must have noted my exhaustion, because he nudged me gently.

"Serena, just a little farther. We can't stop here, we're too exposed. I'm sure there's a place further up."

I didn't even have enough energy to roll my eyes. After perhaps another hour when the sun was getting dangerously close to the horizon, the faint outline of a house appeared in the distance. With wordless communication, we used the last of our energy to get there quickly, neither of us particularly caring where 'there' was. We were relieved when the abandoned barn looked sturdy enough on the outside.

"This place looks new," I said as we entered. No animals other than the odd mouse or owl resided there, although I could still detect the faint odor of manure. The straw, as well, did not look wet or musty like old straw tended to become. The roof was still relatively leak-free.

"Why would anyone abandon a good barn like this?" Mamoru asked.

I could think of a few reasons, but I didn't think either of us wanted to hear them that night. Mamoru tied the horse in one of the stables with some hay to eat, and then climbed up to the loft with me. I was about to divest myself of my mud-clogged garments when Mamoru stopped me.

"It's getting colder at night," he said, his voice tight with strain, "it would be a better idea to keep them on."

I acknowledged his advice by removing my hands from my obi and collapsing in the hay next to him.

"You're right," I muttered, coughing a little, "I am cold." I tried to bury myself in the hay, but I was a little too afraid of what I would encounter if I disturbed its home. He put his arm around me and, after registering the touch and the warmth that flowed through my body, I fell asleep.

---------------------

I was running away from someone, although I did not know who. All I knew was that if they caught me, my entire world would end. I could hear their footsteps growing louder, even as I struggled to stay ahead. I felt their panting, slobbering breath on my neck, and cold permanently lodged itself in my bones. I tripped over something I couldn't see, and picked myself up again without thinking. I had to get to him before they did. I had to get to him. If I didn't reach him soon I knew what would happen, and the thought made me run, if possible, even faster. My breath rasped in my throat and my eyes stung with grit and tears. I would reach him, I would...or else...

And then I saw him. His face was smiling in the moonlight but his eyes were closed and a deep stain the unmistakable color of red wine covered his entire midsection.

"Mamoru!" I flung myself upon his body. "No...please! You can't be dead...no, Mamoru..."

---------------------

"Mamoru...please don't be dead!" I whimpered again into the chest I was being gently held against. Gradually I came to myself, and realized that my moments of blind terror and grief had only been the product of a nightmare. Even so, I felt myself sobbing into his chest, the residual fears of the dream still deep within me. I gripped him, trying to reassure myself that he wasn't dead.

"Shh, Serena," he whispered as he rocked me back and forth. "I'm all right, I'm all right, I promise." My tears gradually subsided as he stroked my hair. Part of me felt ashamed for acting so helpless, but I was far too exhausted to really care.

I fell asleep in his arms.

---------------------

Three days before we made it to the forest, I saw Ushiro. After Mamoru had taken the horse to the blacksmith, we took the opportunity to avail ourselves of the local bathhouse. I cannot describe my utter joy when I descended into the water of a local hot spring. Over the past two weeks, I had only been able to use the barest of resources to keep myself clean.

Finally, I thought as I scrubbed my hair thoroughly for the fifth time, I would no longer smell like musty hay. On the other side of the wall between the men's and women's baths, Mamoru was similarly enjoying himself.

After I had scrubbed every inch of my skin until it glowed pink, I lay in the water, perfectly content to let my entire body prune. Eventually I realized that Mamoru must be waiting for me, and grudgingly ended my hour of bliss. Towels were a luxury that we could not afford, so I was forced to air dry a little before I could replace my kimono. I braided my hair in the long mirror that hung in the changing room, sharing it with the other women who were also fixing their hair. Feeling satisfied and refreshed, I exited the building, and smiled brilliantly at Mamoru. If they had watches in this world, he would have been looking at his wrist. As it was, he leaned against the side of the building with an expression of long-suffering patience.

"What were you doing in there?"

"Taking a bath," I said.

"It does not take that long to take a bath!"

"It does when you smell like a horses behind! I don't know about you, but I like to be clean, thank you."

He just raised his eyebrows. "I have to go pick up some more supplies. Can you get the horse and meet me at the eastern edge?"

I looked at him nervously, and then nodded. We hadn't really been out of each other's presence since he found me in the dungeon. And now, for whatever reason, he was entrusting me with an extremely important job. Maybe he figured that even with my lousy sense of direction, I could probably manage a short walk down the street. And shouldn't I be glad that he was truly regarding me as his partner? I had said that I was sick of him coddling me, after all.

"Sure, don't worry about it," I said as nonchalantly as I could.

He smiled, as if he suspected what I was thinking. "Here's the money to pay him. Remember not to accept his first price...the offer is merely a formality. You can start bargaining after he names the second price."

I nodded again, and before I could think better of it, turned down the road. I waved over my shoulder to Mamoru, who watched me walk off with an amused smile. After a few people blocked my view of him, I turned forward. It really couldn't be that hard, I reasoned. We had no reason to expect any danger in this village. Cities in this region were still independent of the Kojin. No matter what I told myself, though, I knew I would feel much better once we were on our way again.

Soon enough I saw the modest wooden sign that hung above the blacksmith's work area, indicating his profession in characters I couldn't read. Tentatively, I walked through the gate and entered the open stable where he worked. Our horse was penned in the nearest stall, moving restlessly. The blacksmith was near the fire working the bellows with one of his apprentices when I came in, but he looked up and smiled as soon as he noticed me.

"I fixed the problem easily. In fact, I can hardly expect any payment from you for such a simple task."

Hoping that I would prove a decent improviser, I protested. "Why, kind sir, to take advantage of your skill with so little recompense would be dishonorable of me. Please allow me to give you some token of my esteem."

He bowed in acknowledgment of the compliment. "If you insist, perhaps I can be persuaded to accept something..." he named a figure that was, in fact, rather less than what I held in my purse. Deciding not to try my luck with bargaining, I reached into the purse to hand him the coins. The blacksmith had stopped looking at me, however, distracted by a commotion in the street in front of his gate. My stomach immediately sank to my shoes, and I knew before I turned around that I was in serious trouble.

A quick glance over my shoulder revealed the unmistakable figure of Ushiro about to walk through the blacksmith's gate, with two other men joking loudly behind him. Beneath the blubbering panic of my conscious mind, the other, more sensible part of my brain went into autopilot. I made a flying leap over the nearest stall door and cowered behind our horse. She snorted a little at the intrusion, but she was used to me and didn't make a big fuss. My heart was pounding furiously and the blood flowed past my ears in a booming rush. My breathing sounded like a tornado, but I knew that Ushiro and those two other men could not possibly hear it. At first I wondered if the blacksmith had even seen me scale door, but then I realized that he was using himself to discreetly block this stall from Ushiro's line of sight.

For a few panicked moments I wondered if Ushiro knew that we were here, if he would catch us this close to our destination. Maybe they had already captured Mamoru and--under torture, of course--he had told them where I was. But, despite my fears, it appeared that Ushiro had come to the blacksmith for the same reason we did: his horse had lost a shoe. He went through the formalities of paying the man perfunctorily, as if eager to get on his way. I noticed that he moved his neck as little as possible, and when the high collar of his Northern-style shirt shifted, I saw the reason why: a jagged scar, still slightly red, ran across his neck. I gasped, but a well-placed snort of our horse made it inaudible. I couldn't believe that I had done that, especially by accident. The sight terrified me, because I knew that even without the edict of the Kojin, Ushiro had a personal reason to want us dead. I waited in agony as one of the apprentices was sent to fetch the horse; everything seemed to be taking years instead of minutes. Eventually, though, Ushiro had his mount and turned to leave. I thought I would pass out when he paused and turned around again. For a moment he seemed to glance directly at me, but I couldn't be sure.

"Sir," he said, "have you seen a young man, about this tall with black hair accompanied by a young blonde girl who resembles the princess?"

So this was it, then. The blacksmith would open the stall gates, everything would be revealed, and I would die in his backwater town, on another world without even having seen Mamoru again.

But instead of revealing my location, the blacksmith shook his head. "No, sorry sir. No one like that has passed my way."

Ushiro gave him a hard glance, and then nodded.

"Are there any inns with good food around here?"

"You might try Daruma; go a little further down this street. It's on the left."

Ushiro thanked the man and then left. I felt light-headed. If our horse hadn't thrown a shoe, Mamoru and I would have stayed at that inn last night. Satisfied that Ushiro had left, I eased around the horse, and climbed back over the stall door. The apprentice stared at me, but didn't say anything.

"Why...why did you--" I said, but the blacksmith shushed me.

"Don't say anything out of the ordinary," he said under his breath and then switched to a normal voice. "I hope you found the horse satisfactory?"

After a moment of confusion I nodded. "O-of course, sir," I said, unable to keep the nervous stutter from my voice. "Here," I said, and handed him the rest of the money with shaking hands. "Please take this as an indication of my...extreme gratitude. Mina you live long and prosper." That last had probably been overkill, but he appeared impressed.

"Why thank you, my lady." He looked at me again. "If you follow the alley behind this shop you can exit the city much faster."

I wondered why he was helping me but I smiled in gratitude. "Thank you so much, for everything."

He took our horse from the stall himself and led it to the door for me. "We have heard of your quest, up here," he whispered. "By calling you two traitors, the Kojin has given us hope that he will perhaps fall one day." He helped me up on the horse and then handed me the reins.

"Good luck."

Nodding with newfound determination, I urged the horse out onto the street and into the alley behind the shop. As soon as I was away from the sight of the townsfolk, I put my legs astride the horse. Over the weeks I had gleaned a decent amount of horsemanship from Mamoru, which I hoped would help me now. Glancing over my shoulder, I heeled the horse into a gallop and fled.

After I made it to the edge of the village, I looked around frantically for Mamoru, who did not appear to be anywhere. For a panicked moment I wondered if I had gone west instead of east until I saw him walking towards me.

"We've got to get out of here!" I said, my rush of adrenaline giving away to fear. Taking me at my word, he climbed on in front and spurred the horse into the Setsuna hills.

---------------------

After we were relatively sure that no one was following us from the village and the path grew too steep for our horse to carry two people, we dismounted and walked.

"I should have gone with you," Mamoru said after I had told him my story.

I looked at him indignantly. "I'm not helpless, Mamoru. Your presence wouldn't have helped anything. In fact, the only reason I could hide was because I was alone."

"I know, I know," he said, running his hand through his hair. "I just...you have no idea how much it scares me that you came that close to getting captured, and I wouldn't have even known."

I sighed. "All right, I suppose you have a po--"

His preemptory gesture cut me off. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

Mamoru shook his head. "I thought I heard something...a twig breaking. It sounded suspicious."

"It's probably just your imagination," I said, not feeling quite so reassured myself. "We're both on edge..."

He smiled at me. "I suppose you're right. Let's go, then."

---------------------

We found a campsite by sunset. Mamoru and I unloaded together with the efficiency borne of long travel and then sat around the small fire, each absorbed in our own thoughts.

"So...what do you suppose we're looking for?" I asked, still staring into the fire.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Some sort of house, I guess..."

"With no windows, no doors and a star in the middle? What kind of a house is that?"

"Maybe we'll know when we see it," he said.

"What if it's hidden? I'm afraid that we've come all this way...even if Ushiro doesn't find us, what if we can't find the Lady?"

He looked at me from across the fire, and his smoldering eyes knocked the breath out of my body. "I know, Serena. Believe me, I know."

---------------------

The next day as we walked through the forest Mamoru acted particularly edgy. I didn't pay much attention though, since some parts of the terrain seemed more like a billy goat trail than anything meant for humans or horses. But eventually even I noticed that he was starting at every bunny that crossed our path.

"What's wrong with you?" I panted, wishing passionately for some jeans and a tee shirt.

A bird chirped and he jumped again. "I don't know," he muttered. "I just have a bad feeling about this..."

"Do you think someone is following us?"

He looked around again. "Maybe. I'm not sure. I keep getting the strangest feeling..."

I looked at him nervously, and when a squirrel ran in our path, I almost jumped on him. "Mamoru, you're making me nervous."

"Sorry," he said, not sounding very apologetic at all. Over the next couple hours, I caught his tense mood, try though I did to counteract it. It's just because we're so close to our goal that I'm this nervous, I reasoned. Still, something did seem out of place. Eventually, much to my relief, the ground leveled out again, and we were able to remount. After perhaps an hour, Mamoru stilled the horse.

"There are people waiting for us in that clearing," he said softly, pointing to an area about six or seven yards in front of us. My breath caught in my throat. I wondered how he could be so sure, but sometimes it seemed that Mamoru had an uncanny ability to know things without the use of his five senses.

"There are five...no, six...on horseback. Serena, get off the horse how, and run away. Hide in the trees. If I don't make it, try to solve the riddle. I'm sure the Lady will help you."

"Mamoru," I whispered violently, my eyes stinging with tears, "I refuse to let you kill yourself! Why don't we just turn around?"
"They know where we are. They'll just chase after us and cut us down. If at least you get away..."

I hated him at that moment, hated him for being right, and for his self-assurance. He was going to die fighting those men, I knew. And he was willing to do it, just to save me. He saw the acceptance in my eyes and smiled sadly.

"Thank you, Serena. I won't lie to you--I have enjoyed myself immensely in your presence. I...well..." he looked as if he was struggling to say something, and then gave up. "Goodbye," he said finally. Unlike English, this language had several ways to say goodbye. Mamoru had used the special kind, reserved for permanent farewells. Turning my head so he wouldn't see my tears, I slid off the horse. He said something to me then, but I couldn't make out the words, and before I could ask, he had already turned, riding with a shout and an upraised sword into the clearing.

I heard the clash of steel on steel and shivered.

---------------------

I stood frozen among the trees for a moment, but when I heard a scream my feet started sprinting towards the clearing even before I grew aware of them. As soon as I drew near I saw that the scream had come from one of Mamoru's opponents, who was clutching his arm. Still hidden behind a row of trees, I couldn't see very well so I grabbed some nearby branches and hauled myself up. I moved near the top where I had a clearer view of the action.

Five men who were masked and dressed entirely in black surrounded Mamoru. That they were expert swordsmen was obvious from the first. I admit that I experienced a moment of unchecked pride at how well Mamoru defended himself against them. Unfortunately, even the most brilliant swordsman could not stand up against five trained warriors intent upon his life. I almost screamed aloud when a particularly powerful sword thrust made its way through Mamoru's defenses. It was headed towards his neck, and he managed to deflect it to his shoulder, but I saw his wince and knew that it had hurt him. I was too far away to tell how badly. I watched, but my mind was whirring with possibilities of how to save him. Of course I had never had any intention of following his instructions. He had truly underestimated me if he thought that I would run to save my skin while he got himself killed. Unfortunately, I had no idea what I could do to stop this from happening, and I did not have much time to decide.

As I stared at the battle raging before me, I realized something that I should have noticed from the very first: Mamoru was only fighting five men when he had said there were six. Meaning that one was...I saw a shape move almost directly below me. His dark clothes blended so well with the shadows of the forest that I only knew he was there from the glint of his sword. He was going to attack Mamoru from behind. I only had seconds to decide what to do.

Just as the man was about to attack, I let out a blood-curdling scream and jumped from the tree. I landed on his head, rolling quickly to avoid his exposed sword. I made sure that he was indeed incapacitated before I looked up...and saw something that made me want to scream again.

They had him surrounded. Mamoru was hunched in his saddle, his arm holding his midsection. Even now I could not tell how bad the wound was, but his face was scrunched with pain. One man's sword was at his neck. And then I got angry. Very angry. Much angrier than I ever had been on this entire crazy adventure, and perhaps my entire life.

"Like hell I'm going to let you kill him!" I screamed. For a crucial moment, all eyes turned to me. I felt clear headed and invincible. There was no way I would let us loose. So, I reached into my obi and pulled out the Barbie doll. I was still unsure of how to use it, but I was not going to show any uncertainty in front of them. Closing my eyes, I drew the strange power that I had felt a handful of times on our journey and channeled it into the doll.

"Petunia," I said loudly, "I think that I need some help."

---------------------

The dollwinked at me and then jumped out of my hands. Swirls of magic surrounded it as it grew bigger and bigger, slowly transforming itself into a familiar shape. The smell of honeysuckle was heavy in my nostrils. The doll emitted an unbearably bright light, and I was forced to shield my eyes. When I opened them again I saw Petunia, dressed in typical piecemeal fashion, standing in front of me. A quick look around the clearing revealed that all the attackers were dead, and Mamoru was staring at Petunia with as much fascination as I.

"Hi Serena, Mamoru," she said cheerfully. "I was wondering when you would call me. I'd have thought you'd get in some trouble before this. I'm really rather impressed with you both." She looked at Mamoru appraisingly. "You certainly waited until the last possible moment, didn't you?"

"You came...the Lady came..." Mamoru said, and I looked at him with growing fear. How badly had he hurt himself? Then I realized what he had said.

"You're the Lady!" I shrieked at Petunia, the stresses of the past hour crashing upon me. "I can't believe this! Do you know how muchcrap we have gone through trying to find you? Oh, if only I had known that this famous "Lady" of theirs was just my crazy neighbor!" I was pacing back and forth, gesticulating wildly.

"I'll explain later," she said, walking to Mamoru. She caught him as he slid off the horse, and laid him on the ground. That was when I finally came close enough to see his wound. A strange sound came from my mouth, like the squawk of a strangled bird. His entire midsection had been cut open, and the blood was already seeping into the mossy ground. Petunia ignored me, gently probing his wound. He grunted with pain, but his stormy blue eyes met mine and locked there. I could not move, could not believe that after all of this, Petunia had come too late.

"Mamoru," I whispered, and I realized that there were tears streaming down my cheeks. I dashed them away angrily. What was I thinking? Petunia was here, and she would save him. He wasn't...he couldn't be...

"Dying," said Petunia, her voice barely above a whisper. "He's dying."

END BOOK FOUR

Further Author's Notes: As you can see, this ends on a bit of a cliff hanger, and you know what the coin of the realm is? Comments! I'm actually feeling a little depressed about this other story I'm working on now, and it'd be nice to have a reminder that some people like my stuff ;)